The wife and I own a Mom-n-Pop clothing store in the hood. We are located near a military base and I do get some of their business, from the troops stationed there. I did my own survey on the repeal of DADT (don't ask don't tell). And now...the results of my findings.
Hi there! My name is Gene. Merry Christmas and welcome to Fashion Thug!
Oh, uh... hello, Sir. Do you give military discounts?
We sure do! We love the military LOOONG time, here at Fashion Thug! Say there, Sailor... how do you feel about this whole gays-in-the-military thing?
My skinny pencil-necked Korean Doctor (Dr Kwak ) has finally decided, right before Christmas, that I'm overweight and should go on a diet. He said, "You too fat! You go on diet! No candy! No booze!" Anybody know where I can find a fat Korean Doctor?
Meanwhile somewhere north of the smoldering South Korean island of Yeonpyeong we find Norf Korea'a Great Reader, KIM Jong IL studying closely his Chi-com computer screen...
KIM: Whaaattt?! This cannot be. No fookin' way Senor Jose! General Wang, come quick!!!
WANG- Right here Great Reader, Sir! What's the problem, Sir? Are the South Koreans counter-attacking?
KIM- Who da hell is Leader of the United Steaks...George DoubleWoo Bush or Bawack Whosenamed Obama?
WANG- Obama is, Sir.
KIM- Zactly...so no more talks of counters attacking. The problem is not war. The ploblem is right there! (pointing at You Tube of Uncle Jimblow)
WANG- Great One, I saw this video earlier but I saw nothing out of the ordinary.
KIM- You saws nothing out of the ordinary but did you possibility hears somesthing out of the ordinary?
WANG- Out of the ordinary, Great Reader...well...Uncle J was rather pleasant...
KIM- And....and...???
WANG- He was rather nice and rather thankful...
KIM- And he didn't even mudder-pucking cuss!!! Not one time! You knows what's I'm thinks???!!! I'm tells ya what I'm thinks...that red, white, and brew... Special Courses Queen Beret is using a stunt double!!! You know hows I'm do's it, General Wang!
WANG- Yes, I do know, Sir.
KIM- Yes, like when I'm sick in hospital...or laying low because the wife is pissed about my Joy Brigade leaving undergarments beneath the sofa cushions...or when I didn't want to go to school....or like the time when when I didn't want to eat rice again for dinner.
WANG- Then why is Uncle Jimbo using a double, Sir?
KIM- Hmmm?... Put The People's Glorious Starving Army on TRIPLE RED ALERT!!!
WANG- Yes, immediately, Great Reader! But why?
KIM- If that's not Uncle Jimblow on Yoo Tube then there are only 2 places he could be...
WANG- Two places, Sir?
KIM- He's either coming to Norf Korea to kick my ass or he's at the airport impersonating a TSA agent.
WANG- My money's on the airport, Sir.
KIM- Perhaps. Cancel the alert, General Wang. And General Wang...
BARACK: (holds phone upside down) What? I can barely hear ya. What...shelling in South Korea? Did you wake ME... "THE PRESIDENT"... up at 3AM... to tell ME..."THE PRESIDENT"... I looked like an ASS and BOMBED at the G20 Summit in Seoul???!!! WHO is this, anyway? Is that you Hillery???!!! I'll bet it's you! I got your number, BITCH! Did Bill put you up to this?!
Hi friends! Baghdad Bob Gibbs here with (pause like Paul Harvey)...the news! Today in The House of Representatives, Congressman Barney Frank recommended, due to numerous complaints against intrusive body scans and pat downs, that a new "titular head" of the T.S.A. be appointed. In a rare exhibition of true "BI" partisanship, Democrat Congressman Frank requested that former Republican Congressman Larry Craig be given the job. Frank was quoted as saying "Due to Congwessman Cwaig's 'wide stance' on security of airport bathrooms...I mean, sufferin' succotash... he'd be perfect for the job!"
Okay, so the Marines are currently in the lead with donations for Project Valour-IT. It's a Friday and they finally catch up to the Army....big freekin' deal! Are we defeated, my friends? Damn, that sounded like John McCain. Oh well, where was I...oh yeah... they, the Marines, have finally cashed their welfare checks in and made some donations but soon they will have spent all their money on the pole dancers near Camp Pendelton and Parris Island. But we, my friends, we brave few, we at TEAM ARMY will dominate! Will will nuke those pukes LOOONG TIME! In honor of the Marines temporary victory I will be nice and play a dance video, made by some Aflac-can Americans, who are outfitted in "full" Marine Corps combat-bling uniforms for club-ing in (includes cute hats). It's Friday so click on "your team" to donate to Project Valour-IT and God breast TEAM MARINE, TEAM ARMY, TEAM NAVY, and TEAM AIR FORCE! Let's donate and dance!!! (Poles are optional)
Over at Villainous Company they are having a "Demotivator Contest" between the US Armed Forces. Project Valour-IT will be the ultimate winner in this! Here's my entry for the Army & Brigadier General Walsh who had to put up with Boxer's crap. Here's my entry...
Friends over at Villainous Company reminded me of Project Valour-IT. Got some extra dough, Joe? Here's a way to put it to some really good use. We have a lot of wounded troops,as of late, due to stepped up operations in southern Afghanistan. Medevacs are TWICE the number they were last year. A bunch of those wounded troops could use a voice activated laptop to give them some independence by using the computer themselves and not having to depend too much on others. Sending e-mails to friends and family means a lot. Ever been in a hospital for several days or more? Know how it is...sleeping when you can...or need to...and waking up to find cards from visitors you missed because you were so out of it? Project Valour-IT offers just the ticket! Communication for when a wounded Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine needs and feels up to it. These voice activated laptops do wonders for the morale of our wounded heroes. I know they hate being called heroes but...they ARE!!! Our troops deserve the very best! Please give. Hell, I don't even care which branch of service you donate to, as long as it goes to Project Valour-IT. Click HERE for Army. HERE for Navy. HERE for Air Force. HERE for Marines. God bless you and thanks for your support!!! Always remember that Great Reader ruv's you Jack's Wagons all a VERY LOOONG TIME!!!
Meanwhile somewhere north of the South Korean Imjin Rio Grande, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL contemplating California's illegal alien problems...
KIM: That's it, General Wang!
WANG: What's it, Great Reader Sir?
KIM: Advertising will fix Califloornia's illweegull aliens pwoblem!
WANG: Sir, what kind of advertising could possibly fix California's illegal alien problem?
KIM: False advertising!
WANG: False advertising, O' Great One?
KIM: Yes. My plan is simple as My Simon! Koweefornia only needs to put up a sign on her southern border with Mexicrow!
WANG: A sign, Sir?
KIM: Yes, a sign...but not just any sign! This will be a sign that will confuse the Green Card Challenged masses! With this sign...Coweefloornia will soon have all those uninsured democrat voting motorists, paddling their way through the desert sands, headed back south!
WANG: What could a sign possibly say to produce such a reaction, Great Reader?
KIM: "Welcome to Oregon".
WANG: Sir, you have too much free time on your hands.
Well...what can I say, the Navy Team is really dragging ass in contributions for Project Valour-IT so let's encourage those Sailors to open their wallets with a fine dance tune! I know they'll throughly enjoy this one, LOOONG TIME!!! Don't ask...don't tell. It's Friday so let's dance and give it up for TEAM NAVY!!! To donate to Project Valour-IT for TEAM NAVY click this button...
It's a great day in the neighborhood LOOONG time!!! Why? Because it's time to break out that wallet or purse of yours and help out some very special folks. VERY SPECIAL! They are wounded war veterans who can't use their hands to do stuff like I'm doing now...or e-mailing friends... or getting lost in the wide-wide world of Face Book. Imagine sitting in a bed, wounded, and away from home having to have someone (when available) write your emails for you or help you see what's on the computer. Not good. But thanks to (then a Captain) the wounded/blow'd up by an IED, Chuck Ziegenfuss, Project Valour-IT was born. Who says good stuff doesn't come outta bad?! From this mess (Chuck's 2005 wounding while stationed in Iraq) came these voice controlled laptops. Operated by speaking into a microphone or by using other adaptive technologies, these laptops make it possible for a wounded Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or even a "heathen" Marine...keep in touch with friends, family, and best-buds back in their old units. For Chuck it was a blessing (my words). For Chuck (his words) "It wasn't just the blogging. It was the community. I had readers [who] cared about me." With the help of those wonderful folks at Soldiers' Angels, Chuck formed Project Valour-IT. Project Valour-IT has helped over 5,000 wounded troops as of September 2010. Unfortunately more will need our help. "OUR" help. Please give to Project Valour-IT as a fund raising drive is on between the services. It's competition between the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines starting today through Veterans Day November 11th. To donate to Project Valour-IT and Team ARMY click right HERE! You can donate to another service if you want...it's all good...as these laptops go to any branch of our armed forces as needed. Please help even if it's only a couple of bucks. Good begets good LOOONG time!!! RUV, JG ;)
Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel we find Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL smoking a pipe and checking out the latest news on CNN...
KIM: General Wang! Comes here!!! Checks outs what I'm T-Flowed for you!
WANG: Right here, Great Reader, Sir! What was it you TiVo'd for me, Sir?
KIM: I'm T-Flowed the She-N-N Newz. Just looks at whats I'm got's on my Wang Chung, soupersized (19 inch) brack and white, Chinese HeathKit TV screen! Look... it's the anchors-man, Wolf's Blitzkrieg!!! Watch and learn, General Wang...
TV: Wolf here, with a CNN news breaking report...CNN has just learned that no less than fifty ICBM's in Wyoming have gone off-line, rendering their targeting systems totally useless against "THE ENEMY" for a FULL 45 minutes!
KIM: Isn't that great, General Wang?!
WANG: Great, Sir? Do you mean it was great that we, North Koreans, may not have been targeted by the Americans for 45 minutes, Sir? Is that what you're saying?
KIM: No!!! I'm means that Americlaw's economy is on the rebound!
WANG: Let me get this straight, Sir. You say... that by America's missiles not targeting us, in North Korea, that the US economy is on the rebound?
KIM: No-no-NO!!! Think...General Wang! Who is Americlaw's President?
WANG: Barack Obama, Sir.
KIM: Yes! Now...whose the "ENEMY" of Barack Whosenamed Obama?
WANG: Are you saying TAXPAYING CONSERVATIVES and SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS were the targets of the missiles, Sir?
KIM: BLINGO!
WANG: So...what you're saying, is that this "45 minutes of freedom" may have sparked some confidence in those hard working middle-class Americans who are invested in America with their hearts and souls, Sir?! You're amazing, Great Reader!!!
KIM: As SureWok Holmes would say..."It's trigonometry, my deer Watson!"
I had such a good time LOOONG time in Memphis that I just had to pick Elvis doing this song! So I'll dedicate this song to Leta, back in Memphis, Tennessee. Happy Friday friends! Let's dance!!!
Here's an after-action report of when I visited with Leta (AKA: Tanker Babe), BlackFive's Uncle Jimbo (AKA: Jim Hanson), and Kev. Written by Leta...I couldn't possibly have said it any better. Click HERE and find out the rest of the story over at Leta's blog, "From Cow Patures to Kosovo". Happy Friday, everyone...LOOONG time!!! (Here we are on Beale Street in Memphis,not more than 45 minutes after I landed!From the left: Gene, Jim, Kev, Leta)
It's the US Navy's 235th Birthday! I live near Lemoore Naval Air Station...the "land" home of all kinds of F-18 pilots and air crews. This one's for you US Navy guys and gals! Happy Birthday LOOONG TIME to all you SQUIDS!!!
The people of Helena, Arkansas were fantastic, LOOONG TIME!!! I had a great time judging barbecue and all the while hearing great blues music live! What could get better than that...you ask? Well...the answer is getting to be with BlackFive's Uncle Jimbo, his buddy Kev, and the wonderful Tankerbabe!!! I had a 49 hour pass, authorized by my "South Korean Minister of RUV", also known as MY LOOONG TIME RUVER (the wife)... to Memphis, Tennessee. The clock started from when I departed Fresno's airport on Friday until the time I touched down again on Sunday. Worth every JC Penny of it, LOOONG TIME!!! It was wonderful! I will post more later, but for now I feel a song coming on. A song sung by Andy Williams and re-written by JihadGene/KIM Jong IL (me) singing "Love Story"...or "Where Do I Begin". The barbecue was excellent and I had to screw it up a bit for this song. Hope all those fine folks in Helena, Arkansas can forgive me and not take it out on Leta for letting a Californian in on such a wonderful event and such a great time! The folks I met there, in Helena, were great LOOONG TIME!!! Please click on the YouTube to play and sing along with my re-written lyrics.
The RUV STORY SONG (rewritten by JihadGene and sung by KIM Jong IL & Andy Williams)
Where does I begin? To tell the story of how great a drive from Memphis to Arkansas can be? With Kev and Uncle Jimbo in the back filling empty water bottles with their pee? The simple truth about what great barbecue means to me Where do I'm starts
With Leta's first "Hellrow" She gave new meaning to this Norf Korean world of mine (*DISCLAIMER*...other than my wife) She got me on as a barbecue judge...LOOONG TIME!!! The southerners (not Korean ones) came into my life and made blues music fine Barbecue filled my heart!
Barbecue filled my heart with various ribs and things with pork butts and Uncle Jimbo's wild imaginings Pork fills my Seoul with so much RUV That anywheres I'm goes, I'm never ronely With a face-full-of-pork, who could be ronely? I reach for another rib and fall out the chair
How much looonger can I'm last Can my ruv for barbecue send me to the hospital in one day? Kev had no answers but now this much I can say I know I prayed my heartburn would soon go away And "UNCLE JIMBLOW" will still be there!!!
How long does this last Can my "Super-sized Heavy-load Depends" hold out for this entire day? I decline to give an answer but this much I can say I know I'll need a Rexall Drug Store...hope it's not too far away And I'll be there!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW! I just got an e-mail from His Excellency "Mangos La Cucaracha" telling me I won his country's lottery that I never even entered! Of course I gave him my bank & savings account numbers immediately so his country,"San Guano de Pero", could wire me the money as soon as possible! WOOHOO!!! I feel like ROCKIN' OUT!!! It's Friday so Let's Dance or more likely, just laugh..to this! Got any old smokin daze 1970's music to dance to? Hook me up with a link in comments preeze! Have a good time/looong time kind of a weekend and remember that Great Reader, KIM JONG IL... ruv's EWE very LOOONG time!!!
The latest from Pyongyang! Great Bartender, KIM Jong IL, has announced a new drink to help break the "nice" with westerners! Created by our very own Great Reader, it's a drink containing MSG, garlic-vodka, kimchi-Kahlua, and Soju. It's called the "KIM JONG IL,NUKE-WE-ARE, EYE-SHE-B-M"! We at Great Reader highly recommend the derux drink. It comes complete with a complementary pink umbrella...free for $5 dollah (US)! WARNING: The DPRK's Sturgeon's General Office warns that consumption of this drink could cause a severe case of EMP (electromagnetic pulse) or pregnancy in unsuspecting sheep.
I dressed up for Halloween and went to visit Jimmy Carter in the hospital! I went as the ghost of Ted Kennedy in a nurse's uniform. Trick or Treating is cool! The Secret Service didn't think so...
My Gawd, we have a bunch of homeless veterans out here! All the real ones live out here in Central California! Why, just this week alone, I must have met a platoon or more of many a former Recon-Airborne-Sniper-Ranger-SEAL-Force-Green-Berets out on the street, homeless, and asking for spare change. You'd be surprised at how many of them graduated from West Point! We must help provide them with much needed beer, drug, and smoke money! They've earned it! Earned it from the Hall's of Menthol Lyptus... to the shores of Tennessee!!!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL, here. Gene's birfday is coming up soon. Gene is a ZEBRA (Libra)and an Elvis fan. He received an early birfday gift yesterday via YOUPEE-S from his Elder Sister Carol. It was an Elvis Potato Head doll(that's potatoe if you are a Dans Quails). Anyways, it's time that ol' KIM Jong IL broke out the white jumps-suit and did some Elvis tunes! Whys...you ask? Becluzz IT'S FLYDAY! So let's DANCE!!!Have a great weekend everybody! I'm Great Reader KIM Jong IL and I'm proof of this message! If you have a cool dance tune or Elvis video put in comments and thanx looong time!!!
Go over to The Warrior Class and read a wonderful "Dog Story" by a cannon-cocker called Six. It's titled "HERE CHRISI". This story is about an old dog with pride. A tale of honor and respect...and teaching those lessons to some web-footed heathens. A real fun read. I look at my 2 dogs and I know they have some Chrisi in them as well. Matter of fact, one of them is giving me the "What?" look right now. Enjoy.
It's Friday! Wow! Already September 17th? Cool! Well...I feel it's time for some dancing, hip-hop style, being as the Great Reader is so very fly looong time! Speaking of FLY how's about a rap song done by our "eyes in the sky"...the AWACS folks in the US Air Force?! Oh, yeah, baby! That's the ticket! God bless all our troops, their families, and all of you LOOONG time!!! It's Friday! Let's Dance!!! (If ya have a cool tune-link, leave it in the comments and we'll dance some more!)
We remember 9-11-01. Never forgetting. Never forgiving terror nor those who do it. We are the hard workers of America. We honor our warrior class. We are the real Americans.
Meanwhile somewhere north of the DMZ, north of the Imjin River, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL stunned by the latest news...
KIM: General Wang!!!
WANG: Right here, Sir! What's wrong?!
KIM: Look at cumpooter screen! Look what the Matt's Dludge Leeport says!!! Those heathen-bastard so-called christian pastors are burning KOREANS!!! I'm will knotts tolerate this! I'm will make thems all pay LOOONG time for this!!! They will feel a suffering-succotash pweeviously unknown to manskind! Fuel the Don Ho derux model ICBM&M's!!! Pweepare for launching of a "full-broan" wocket attack!!!
WANG: Sir, those pastors are burning KORANS. Not... KOREANS. No need for a full blown attack, Sir.
Friday? It's Friday? Wow! This week shot right by. I'm feelin' a song coming on. I got me a Korean karaoke jones on! It's Friday!! So get up outta those chairs and dance with the Great Reader!!! Later we'll go out for some Korean barbecue...what do ya say?! If you have a dance tune feel free looong time to link it in the comments section and always remember that Great Reader ruv's you all very LOOONG time!!!
Yes we can...support our troops now. Michelle Obama asks us to "Support our troops "NOW" and into the future". I guess many of us have screwed up by supporting our brave men and women in the military during previous presidential administrations. Thanks to Michelle for the clarification...bitch! Yeah, I said it. Unfriend me if you can't handle it. It's all good in the Milblog Hood. Here's the video...
And now a word from our great President: My fellow Muslim-Christian Americans...I now realize that you have grown weary of my blaming George W. Bush for this "Summer of Catastrophic Recovery". Now, being that I am a man...I have decided to "Man Up" on the economy. In so doing, I will now blame my wife, Michelle for everything. Thank you.
She should have kept her job as Governor of I'llaskya. Instead she went on the "I am Fox News Famous Now so I'll Make Bank and Help Out the Worthless John McCain Tour". Her MOOSE is cooked...LOOONG time!!! -KIM Jong IL on Sarah Palin
As I write this...somewhere north of the DMZ, norf of Bakersfield, CA...I'm still smiling over the wonderful visit we had with Mil-SurgeonArmySpouseFashionYogaCatDog- Blogger extraordinaire, Kanani Fong, of The Kitchen Dispatch,and her great kids. Like Kanani, her kids are just plain nice and lots of fun! Thanks to Kanani's visit, the wife and I were motivated to clean the place up somewhat...but not too much. Here is some of my lovely wife's very savvy Korean wisdom on housecleaning for company..."We clean the house but not too clean. A house too clean will just make the guests uncomfortable. Remember, there is no perfectly clean house, only hospitals. For someone you really like...leave some dust!" WoooHooo!!!! I RUV my wife very looong time!!! Invigorated by her great wisdom, I helped perform housekeeping duties as instructed by my Korean Minister of Good Housekeeping. Thanks to her guidance...by the time my wife, son, and I were done the place....it looked...well...it looked good enough for the cover of "Better Homes in Dust Bowls". It was good. We were as ready as ready could get. Bring on the guests! Enter Kanani Fong & Company... Did you ever have family come visit that were lots and lots of fun?! Ever have a visit from a friend who's kids were that enjoyable too?! If not, I understand...that's a rarity...but it all happened here in the California Central Valley Dust Bowl, Sunday! I'm swears,looong time! When they drove off for L.A. my son smiled and said..."I miss them already. I hope they come back soon." I looked at my lovely wife whose Korean eyes were smiling, telling all. Us too, we thought...us too. The visit was that very-very good. So, the moral of this true story is..."If ya come to our house and it's spotlessly clean. Steer clear. You are not welcome." But for Kanani & Company, we'll keep the dusty and moth-eaten red carpet rolled out LOOONG time!!!
Make no mistake about it...I RUV our US Armed Forces LOOONG time!!! Even those damned Navy squid-heathens! For-sure a sailor's life out on those boats isn't always "Top Gun glorious". Even when out in the middle of nowhere, you can make some life-long friends. That's what's so special, when you look back into your military past. Your friends. Real honest to goodness friends. YES! Hey, it's Friday already?! Let's Dance and keep all our wonderful men and women, in uniform, in our prayers! Day and night they serve all of us doing exciting and not so exciting jobs. They do it all...all for us. God bless 'em all and you too! Have a wonderful weekend and fly those flags!
And now, a word from the President of the United States: My fellow Americans, I have taken time away from my busy holiday schedule to provide you with a teachable moment in US history. Today, September 2, 2010 marks the 65th anniversary of a date only important to Conservative voters. For it was on September 2, 1945 that Japan's previously un-nuked proud Emperor, Mr. Toyota HitachiHirohitoSuzukiSushi, was forced by American war generals to sign the devastating papers of surrender live on CSPAN! The horrific surrender ceremony was held aboard the USS Arizona...or some other US Army aircraftbattlecruiser, named after one of our 57 other states. The poor Emperor was sooo devastated by the ugly Americans that it took more than a dozen Navy Corpsemen to revive him. After signing the papers the Emperor was immediately transported to Guantanamo Bay, Iraq...where he was made to do Kabuki theater performances for the entertainment of evil female prison guards. The lesson here is to know your history, my fellow Americans. Thank you for your time. (Hat tip to Katy Ward who inspired this post looong time!)
My brother Joe and Poetry Teen suicide sucks. I found out, first-hand, in 1971. My brother with that beautiful nervous smile of his, left us. It happened late at night. I was age 16 and asleep. Joe would have been 19 in one more week. I hope he stopped by my room and said goodbye. I'll never know. I have memories of him, very good ones. I discarded the negative, as best I can. The blog has helped me do this. If I could change things I would. He was so smart. So quiet. Call me Mr Opposite. We fought and loved each-other. He was my big brother but I was larger. He wrote this funny poem and I never forgot it. I don't know if my sisters know it, but I know it. word.for.word.
WHEN I GET OLDER by Joe
When I get older, I know what I'll be.
A wino's life, is the life for me.
Vin Ros'e and Muscatel,
A life like that would sure be swell!
I'd live down by the railroad tracks,
And keep my wine in paper sacks.
When I'm older and I die,
You'll know it's cause my bottle's dry!
Today: Sunday 29 August 2010 As I hurry to get ready for church and pray for good...I will try and knock this out. I wish it was something I could get out of me but it's stuck there. It's been what, 38 years? I was tying my shoes, getting ready for school. Another sunny May morning in 1971. Perfect for me, a Junior in high school, until I heard Mom yelling my Dad's name in a very different sounding loud and frantic voice. Joe was in the garage. It was there he'd taken a rope and ladder, sometime during the late-night or early morning hours, and comitted suicide. I ran from my bedroom as Dad pushed Mom out of the garage and told me to help get Joe off the rope. I held his limp body up so Dad could get the noose off of him. Joe was brilliant. He was sensitive. He was my big brother. We set him down softly and then I heard the air leave his lungs. He was dead...one week before he would have turned 19. My Elder Sister Carol could not bring herself to go to Joe's funeral. She deeply loved him and she and her wonderful husband took Joe into their home several times for weeks and months. She was forever mad at my Dad over Joe's death. You see..Joe was receiving professional psychological counseling and it cost money. Dad grew up on a farm in Texas during the depression and was a WWII USMC veteran of Guadalcanal. I think my Dad just figured life was tough and you just overcame things. He thought wrong... but this...I believe, was his mindset. He was my Dad and I couldn't fault him on his reasoning. I can't. All these questions like why?...come flooding at me. Still puzzling and hurting at times. Often out of the blue. Did he say good by to me? Is he in heaven? Is he in hell? Is there a heaven or a hell, or a damn God of any good out there? Could I have done or said something to him to keep from doing this to himself...TO US???!!! I couldn't wait to get away from home and my Mom's Jehovah God. More later maybe.
Our President is still on vacation. Still. Here's a JihadGene rewrite of Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun".
President's Just Want to Have Fun: sung by President Obama
I'm never home in the morning light Hater's sayin',"When in hell are you gonna do your job right?" Let me make it clear... we're not the fortunate ones And Presidents...they want to have fun Oh Presidents just want to have fun
The phone rings telling me about some stupid Middle Eastern fight Michelle yells to me, "Where we gonna go eat at tonight?!" Oh Baby dear you know we'll just take Air Force One Cuz Obamas they want to have fun The Obamas just want to have fun
That's all we really want Some fun When the golfing day is done Obamas they want to have fun The Obamas just want to have fun
Conservatives, they take it like a little girl Say I can't hide away from the rest of the world I want to be "The One", a "Raisin in the Sun" Obamas they want to have fun The Obamas just want to have
That's all we really want Some fun When my vacation days are done My Girls still want to have fun O's girls just want to have fun, They want to have fun, They want to have fun....
You like KIM Jong IL? Well, maybe not, but how about Elton's John? Yes, Great Reader thought you would like Mister John...looong time!!! And the song? Wocket Man! A big hit in Norf Korea and across the wirld why webb, done by none udder than the Great Reader, KIM Jong IL. It's another Friday folks, so let's all sing and dance together in celebration of Jimmy Carter(who is in this music video's end) bringing back a dumbshit from Massachewsitts who wanted to prove that North Korea's government was about as happy with illegal aliens as is the great state of Arizona. I do all this KIM stuff in fun but remember that North Korea(KIM Jong IL) is starving it's people. They can use our prayers and good vibes looong time.
Kanani Fong got me to confess. She pulled it right outta my deep-dark Seoul..."I admit it. I used to take my Dad's 'True Magazines' to look at cool stuff like Asian lady snake charmers." Side bar: My Mom made me go to the Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall a lot because of this.
Dicktater KIM Jong IL announced today that the American White's House was sending a former US President to North Korea. This diplomatic mission is in hopes to possibly secure the freedom of a US spy who referred to the Great Reader as "Mr Juche Fruit". When interviewed, Great Reader KIM Jong IL said it was unclear as to which former US president it would be..."Either the Peanut President or the Penis President". So there you have it, North Koreans...be prepared for a visit from Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton. We now return to our regularly scheduled program...Welcome Back Carter.
(CNN) -- Iran unveiled the first long-range military drone manufactured in the country on Sunday, state media reported. The unmanned aerial vehicle is capable of carrying out bombing missions against ground targets and flying long distances at a high speed, Press TV said.
Meanwhile somewhere north of the 46" LCDHD TV Samsung factories we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL watching CNN on his state-of-the-NorfKorean-art, 1959 RCA Victor brack & white television set...
KIM: General Wang!!!
WANG: Right here, Great Reader! What can I do for you, Sir?
KIM: Adjust wabbit ears on telweebizzion set to bling in CNN news.
WANG: All adjusted, Sir.
KIM: (pointing to TV) Will ya rook at that?! WOW!
WANG: Hmmm...it seems Iran has developed a long distance drone for bombing, Great One.
KIM: Those gay Iranians are very cleaver peoples!
WANG- That's clever, Sir.
KIM: Whats-ever.
WANG: Sir, with such a drone... and now that Iran has a nuclear reactor... where do you think all this is headed to, Sir?
KIM: For sures it's gots to be Israel.
WANG: Should the USA's President Obama be concerned about such a weapon, Sir?
KIM: I'm would says if drone is heading towards the White's House, no pwoblem...but if vacation spots with golf courses are targeted, then Obama's got serious twoubles.
Rumor has it (via scuttle-butt.gorge) that BlackFive's very own former Special Forces Master Sergeant, Uncle Jimbo Hanson...has finally received a looong time sought-after position in the throbbing metropolis of Washington D.C.! That's right, folks...Jimbo is now rumored to be a "shoe-in" as an intern in Congressman Barney Frank's office!!! Pictured is Uncle "J" in the gold colored, Barney Frank approved, intern prospect blazer! When questioned about this rumor, Uncle "J" only said..."Don't ask...don't tell". JG;)
Dear Great Reader KIM Jong IL, I am taking time away from my busy vacation schedule to send you greetings from the mostly Muslim country of the United States of America. Kim, if you would stop making trouble for me I could hook you up with a boatload of freshly boiled-in-oil Louisiana shrimp...or how's about I give you Janet Napolitano's phone number? Maybe some olive drab colored platform shoes in a size 5? Get back at me, my man!
As Always, Barry Whosenamed Obama White House, USA
Well another Friday and we find President Obama on yet a'nudder vacation. Dude's been on one since day one. But I guess it could be worse...he could be at work. Oh well...it is Friday...so how's about a dance tune? In the words of KIM Jong IL "Let's do it! Let's Dance!!!" Happy Flyday!!!
I never was too fond of heights or of jumping out of perfectly fine working aircraft but...whatever. This one's for those with the big balls and silver wings! God bless our Airborne Soldiers and their Jump Masters looong time!!!
JihadGene here. Well people...I think I lost my job at Jet Blue. But on the bright side... I did get an offer to be the stunt-double in Mel Gibson's next movie!!!
Meanwhile somewhere north of the South Korean Hyundai factories, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL contemplating the latest news from The American Thinker ...
KIM: General Wang! Get your koon-dingie (Korean speak 4 butt) overs here ASLAP!!!
WANG- Right here, Great Reader! What's going on, Sir?
KIM: I'm gonna be witch-which-WITCH!!!
WANG: You're going to be rich, Sir?
KIM: Abs-so-rootly, General Wang!
WANG: How so, Most Excited One?
KIM: See's article in The American Stinker? See howze it says General Motors is going to build new pants in Mexiglow?
WANG: Yes, Sir...I see the article about GM building new "plants" in Mexico. But how's that going to make you rich, Most Entrepreneurial One?
KIM: E fluckin' Z! I'm goings to open up... "KIM JONG IL's RAFT RENTAL & DIVE SHOP"!!!
WANG: A raft rental and dive shop? You mean, Sir... like a place that rents river rafts and sells wetsuits and dive gear, Sir?
KIM: Of course!!!
WANG: But how could that possibly make you rich, Sir?
KIM: Vocation-Vocation-Vocation!!!
WANG: Location-location-location? I don't understand. Where would you set up shop, Sir?
KIM: Anywhere's in the good old USA on the "NORF" side of the Rio Grande, mi Amigo!
WANG: (see's the light) Oh,I get it! What with all the Americans out of work, they'll be flocking south to Mexico for employment.
KIM: BLINGO!!! (Norf Korean speak for BINGO)
KIM & WANG: VIVA OBAMA!!!
*Special looong time thanks to FB friend Katy Ward for the inspiration of this piece
My Dad was a Marine at Guadalcanal. The bomb put a stop to the war with Japan. It saved many lives on both sides. If the Japanese are still looking for sympathy they should (as my Dad used to say) look for it in the dictionary, between the words "shit" and "syphilis"...that's where they can find their sympathy.
This is one of my favorites LOOONG time! I've posted it before but deserves another viewing for your dancing pleasure. Why dance, you ask? Because it's Friday!!! Have a Great Reader weekend everyone!!! RUV you all LOOONG time!!! JG ; (If ya have a cool dance tune leave a link in comments, preeze!)
So I live in California...so what? I have relatives in Texas and Nebraska who say we should move out there...however, my wife's side of the family with their Souf Korean in-fru-ence, tells me otherwise. My Korean 13 year old nephew is visiting with us and it has been a blessing in that it has made us take some time off from our clothing store(Fashion Thug...as I call it) and get away. Last Sunday we went to L.A. and had a hoot at Universal Studios! My nephew is the kid with glasses looking lost, or wishing he was the hell away from me. I am the big guy with the mustache looking like Clark Griswold at Wally World. My son is the Korean looking kid with the Griswold cheesey smile. As an Uncle it is MY job to see to it that MY nephew is gonna have a good time whether he likes it or not...by God!!! The next day we shopped the Fashion District of L.A. for more inventory as we gear up for back to school sales. Tuesday it was a work day, then came wonderful Wednesday which found us at beautiful Monterey Bay! We did 3 hours of whale watching from a boat where we saw both blue whales and hump backs! It was totally AWESOME looong time!!! We even caught some possible Navy SEAL's on camera about to invade Monterey's Fisherman's Wharf... Later, in Monterey, I found my nephew's weak spot. KOREAN FOOD!!! Next on the agenda are Yosemite, Kings Canyon, and Sequoia National Parks. From where we live in California's Central Valley it is all within three hours driving time or less. Just try driving to the ocean in Omaha or whale watching in Wichita Falls. Everything is bigger in Texas but do they have giant redwooods? On the plus side, in favor of Nebraska and Texas, they don't have Nancy Pelosi. If only Nebraska and Texas had rice paddies and kimchi trees...then I could move. Happy travels! Ruv you all a very long-looong time!!!JG ;)
I love our troops LOOONG time and Kid Rock ain't no slouch! So get up off'n that taxpaying money-maker and dance with the Great Reader, because it's Friday!! God bless all our troops and their families!!!
This Friday finds the Great Reader jones-ing for some Mexican food and musica el looong time! Wouldn't you just know that some of our fine US Army troops in Iraq could fill that bill completely?! Yeah folks, it's a "FOBBIT" Friday for all us "REMF's" so let's dance...Mexican's style...to the song "El Hell if Eye No" by the el groupo, "Mariachi's on Menudo"! God bless all our troops and their families a very-very mucho LOOONG time!!! Adios muchachos y muchachas.
We have seagulls at our city dump and I'm 120 miles from the coast. It's a million degrees here today when those birds could be on the cool California central coast. I don't know what to call them but stupid or maybe Democrats.
Have you ever been lonely? Have you ever been sad? Did you ever really really need someone, down in the valley so low? This song will pick you up and get you to dance! Come on! Join me and my wife (the lovely Kim) dancing to the Great Soloman Burke doing Down in the Valley (so low) because it's Friday! Let's dance!!!
It's 105 at my California home today. Meanwhile in Kandahar, Afghanistan it's only a cool 104 with scattered IED's, RPG's, and assorted deadly bullshit...all while wearing a helmet, bullet proof gear, carrying a weapon, and packing 65lbs or more of assorted crap. I won't complain about the heat here. God bless our troops!!!
Is it Friday already? WhoWee, this week went by fast! Great Reader ruv's soldiers looong time and these soldiers are Israel's finest! They patrol, they control, they rock & roll! God bless our Jewish friends! It's Friday! Let's dance!!!
Meanwhile slightly south of the Black Cat Fireworks factories of China we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL placing a phone call to JihadGene back in Califloornia to wish him a happy 4th of July...
KIM: (on rotary phone)
zzzip...clicka-click'a...click-click-click...
zzzip...clicka-click'a...click-click-click...
zzzip...clicka-click'a...click-click-click...
JG: (answers phone over sound of gunfire)
This is Gene....whazzup?
...Bang, Bang, BANG!!! BOOM! BLAAAMMM-OH!!!...
Will I accept a collect call from who, Operator?
Tac-Tac-Tac! BOOM! BOO-YA!!!
Operator, I can't hear you...you'll have to speak up! BLAM> BLAM> AND BLAM!!! WOOOMPH!!! Tat-tat-tat!!!
Still can't hear you, Operator! You'll have to have whoever it is that called call back after the 4th of July...things are just too loud here to hold on a conversation right now! wooosh...popa-pop-pop-POW!!! BOOOM!!! BOOOM!!!
(Kim hangs up. General WANG enters communications center of DPRK)
WANG: Well Sir, did you wish JihadGene a happy 4th of July?
KIM: Nawww...couldn't get through because of all the gunfire.
WANG- You mean you couldn't get through because of all the noise from the fireworks, Great Reader?
KIM: No. I'm means gunfire. Gene lives next door to a bunch of Mexiclans.
All this talk of immigration reform, and Arizona, and border problems, and "Sanctuary Cities", has me thanking God it's a Friday. I feel the need for a Welsh singer, singing a song about Spanish Harlem, on Japanese TV. If you have a good "immigrant song"...legal or otherwise...leave a link in comments because IT's FRIDAY so LET's DANCE!!!
My Elder Sister Carol has pre-ordered the derux Mr Potato Head Elvis figure for my birthday! Now...if only I had these babies to run wild around the house in! The wife thinks I'm a nut...but hey...she's a South Korean!!!
The Forgotten War. The Korean War. It started 25 June 1950. God bless the South Koreans and may those who lived through the active war years educate the younger ones and tell them of the Americans who helped them fight for the freedoms and prosperity they enjoy today. God bless our Korean War vets. It started 60 years ago and still the Korean War has not ended. God bless all our troops and those stationed in South Korea who truly are guarding freedom's frontier.
Meanwhile on a beach north of the sunny beaches of South Korea we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL contemplating the latest intel gleaned from the milblog BLACKFIVE...
KIM- AHH-HAA!!! I'VE GOT U NOW, BRACKFIVE! (announces over P.A. system) SECURITY BLEACH! SECURITY BLEACH! Attention: Seven Star General Wang reports to Great Reader KIM Jong IL, ASLAP!!!
WANG- Right here, Sir! What's wrong?! You didn't torpedo another ship did you?
KIM- (pointing to computer screen) Naw...not yet, but just rook at Brackfive's security bweech of OP-SEX regulations! They give in-slider trading information on former Afghan War general, General McChrysler! See that?! It say that that "pushie" (Norf Korean talk for pussy) drinks beer with flute in it!!!
KIM- That General MacChrysler...like Chrysler... is really an illegal alien piece of crap made in MEXICLO!
WANG- You're saying General McChrystal is a Mexican, Sir?
KIM- Abs-so-root-ly!!!
WANG- How can you possibly say that, Sir?
KIM- Eee-Gee!
WANG- Easy, Sir?
KIM- Oh hells yes! Look at the fax! Numba one fax: Americlaw's economy is hurting!
WANG- Yes, Sir...go on...
KIM- Numba 2 fax: Illregal aliens works cheap. You can screw 'em all day wrong and pay them very little money. I bet the entire US military is a bunch of illregal aliens the way they get paid!
WANG- I've seen their pay. You may have a point there.
KIM- Now...fax numba tree: The USA is doing good in World Cup soccer. You think those are boner-fied Americrans on that team and not a bunch of Mexiclans?
Is that right? They were playing a game, were they? As I understood it, they were inside a bar when this act of insubordination took place! What? It was near a school snackbar? They were schoolgirls jumping rope and singing when I was disrespected? Now give it to me straight-up...what did the reporter for the Rollin' Stoned hear them sing?
Teddy bear , teddy bear , Touch the ground , Teddy bear , teddy bear , Turn around , Teddy bear , teddy bear , Walk upstairs , Teddy bear , teddy bear , Say your prayers, Teddy bear , teddy bear , Turn down the light, Joe Bite-Me Biden He ain't right."
Send those little Lady Ga Ga's to my office with their big fu@king deal of a rope!!!
"Restrepo" is about a US Army platoon deployed in Afghanistan's deadly Korengal Valley. My friend Kanani Fong over at The Kitchen Dispatch is helping promote it. It's backed by National Geographic, Blackfive, and Kanani...so you know it's something special. The trailer is HERE.
Meanwhile somewhere north of the South African World Cup vuvuzela zealots...we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL talking to his son, KIM Jong Un, about the soccer match with Portugal...
GREAT READER: So, Glass-hopper ...how did glorious soccer match against heathens of Porch-U-gull go?
SON: It did not go well, Great Father.
GREAT READER: What was score?
SON: Dad, they beat us SEVEN-NOTHING and we were lucky to get nothing.
GREAT READER: Did you not discuss TicTacs ?
SON: Yes, Father...we discussed tactics.
GREAT READER: You gave them a PEPPY-talk... did you not?
SON: (tearing up, head down) Yes Dad, I gave them a pep-talk... but I failed. ...sniff...sniff...What should I do?
GREAT READER: Well, when wife give you womens, make women-aide!
SON: (head up) So what do I do, Father?
GREAT READER: Give Coach and team a PREP talk.
SON: What's a "prep" talk, Sir?
GREAT READER: It's a "PREP-PARE TO DIE, YOU MUDDER-PUCKERS!!!"...kind of talk. Now...go bro your nose, dry eyes, and put all of soccer team on the DPRK's "Endangered Feces List"!!!
SON: Yes, Daddy! (exits excitedly, stage right)
GREAT READER: (yelling towards son) And thanks LOOONG time for the vodka-flavored-viagra-infused Father's Day veggie gift pack, Son!!!
"MURRAY, KY (wkms) - A former Army soldier from Murray has received his forgotten medals from a conflict known as the "Forgotten War." The Murray Ledger & Times reports that Korean War veteran Frank Andrus recently received five military honors from the 10 months he spent fighting in Korea. 81-year-old Andrus served as a machine gun operator for the Army's 25th Division, 35th Infantry Regiment, and suffered a shrapnel injury to his foot. He says a fire at the National Personnel Records Center in Washington in the early 1970s destroyed his service records, making it hard for the military to track him down. He recently received a box that included a Purple Heart, a Combat Infantry Badge and other honors."
Now this angers me VERY DAMN MUCH! Mr Andrus fought in "The Forgotten War" and when apparently trying to rectify a problem, due to records being destroyed in the 1970 fire, an agency of our US Government "forgot" how to deliver medals like the Purple Heart and the Combat Infantryman's Badge. How in the HELL do you send an 81 year old man, via the sluggish United States Postal Service, his "COMBAT" decorations he "EARNED" almost 60 years ago?! The great state of Kentucky has a long list of faithful warriors who served and are today, serving our country...why heck...Kentucky even has two very famous US Army forts there! Near Louisville, Fort Knox is home of the US Army's Armor School and some gold, if we have any leftover that Obama doesn't know about. Next is Fort Campbell, home of the 101st Airborne Division. Hell, I think the US Army could scrape up a couple of thousand active duty combat veterans from either of those bases alone to help "personally" pin those awards on Mr Andrus. Some of those soldiers probably even served with Mr Andrus' unit, the 25th Infantry Division. Those awards should be "properly presented" to ALL who served in combat. If you know anybody with some political punch get a hold of them ASAP to help right this wrong! Thanks in advance for your help looong time!!!
Here's some folk's you can call also: Senator Mitch McConnell (R- KY) 202-224-2541 Senator Jim Bunning (R- KY) 202-224-4343 Representative Edward Whitfield (R - 01)202-225-3115 Representative Brett Guthrie (R - 02) 202-225-3501 Representative John Yarmuth (D - 03) 202-225-5401 Representative Geoff Davis (R - 04) 202-225-3465 Representative Harold Rogers (R - 05) 202-225-4601 Representative Ben Chandler (D - 06) 202-225-4706
Hi there! My name is Gene. Merry Christmas and welcome to Fashion Thug!
Oh, uh... hello, Sir. Do you give military discounts?
And now, a word from the President of the United States: 
The next day we shopped the Fashion District of L.A. for more inventory as we gear up for back to school sales. Tuesday it was a work day, then came wonderful Wednesday which found us at beautiful Monterey Bay! We did 3 hours of whale watching from a boat where we saw both blue whales and hump backs! It was totally AWESOME looong time!!! We even caught some possible Navy SEAL's on camera about to invade Monterey's Fisherman's Wharf...
Later, in Monterey, I found my nephew's weak spot. KOREAN FOOD!!!
