Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Great Reader KIM Jong IL says "Who's Yo Daddy"?

Meanwhile somewhere north of those prosperous (Well-to-do Blastards!) Souf Koreans, in the DPRK's "Land of the Morning Missile Launch", we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL playing... I SPLY... (I SPY)
and tuning-in the big round dial on Great Reader's HeathKit ShortRave Wadio...

...zzzzit...zzzwaaapp-saaaap... Now the latest Rive (live) frum Pay-King Newz NetsWork
(Peeking Newz) the latest "Pearls of Wizzdom" from the Reverend Jeremiah Wright Jr...
(*warning* as heard by Great Reader KIM Jong IL)

NAW! NAW! NAW! OBAMA he don't love his MAMA! BARRACK says
GAWD DAMN HIS MAMA!!! That BIT*H OBAMA even said it about MY MOMMA!
NO ONE, Not even BEE-Frickin OH-BAMA...talks SMACK about MY MAMA!!!...(signal fading)....(KIM tuning)...

REV J (again)-
Speakin 'O MAMA's....

How WHITE is she?...

She's so WHITE...She makes the PILSBURY DOUGHBOY look like a MUH-FUGGIN MEXICAN!!!

Let's see if I can pull in OBAMA on the Shorts-Wave Radio...(tuning)...
hmmm...Sounds like OBAMA...

That fat-assed hoe!!! REVEREND WRIGHT's MAMA...zzzzit...zzzwaapp-saaaap...zippppittty...sapp...

How FAT is she?!!!

She's so FAT that when she was baptized, they had to move the baptism to SEA-WORLD!!!

KIM- Ooooooh, hell. General WANG!!

WANG- Yes, Great Reader?

KIM- Shift all of the DPRK's SLUSH FUNDS from OBLAMA to the Hill-Ree CLINTON Campaign!!!

WANG- All $32.00 (US) Great Reader?

KIM- The whole enchilada!

WANG- Yes, Great Chalupa!

KIM- Hasta La Taco, heathens!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sunday in North Korea. Church with Jeremiah Wright Jr or NASCAR? by jihadgene

Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, in the Land of the Great Reader KIM Jong IL's World-Why-Web, we find the DPRK's favorite DickTater taking in a taped Sunsday sermon frum the Great Spiritual Leader the REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT Jr...
...NAW, NAW, NAW!!! NOT GOD BLESS AMERICA...**&^$%$$^&$$*% AMERICA!!!

KIM- Hoe-ly Moe-ly!!! It's a Sunsday and this is what Americans rike President of TexAss George DoubleWoo Bloosh goes to hear at local churches, General Wang?!

WANG- Quite possibly, Most High Reader.

KIM- That Reverend Wright dude be the Pimp Daddy of the LAWD! No wonder Barrack Who's-Named OBAMA and his old lady (Michelin) be so's messed up!

WANG- Exactly, Great Reader.

KIM-Well Wang, seeing as howze it's beings Sunsday and all.... what-da-ya-say we do like most good "Northern American Baptists" and just skip church? Huh?!

WANG- Oh HELL yeah, Sir! Want me to tune in NASCAR?!!!

KIM- Right on, you bad MAMMER-JAMMER!!!

US ARMY's Green Power- RANGER Assaults GREAT READER, KIM Jong IL!

Yes friends, of the Hermit Kingdom-Hall of Holy-Baa-Geezuz Witnesses in Norf KOREA...We have on You Tlube the unwarranted attack on our own RED Tower-of-Power RED RANGER
KIM Jong IL by the motherless dogs of George DoubleWoo Boosh, also known as: US Army Green Power-Rangers!!!
As yous all nose the "Peaceful Wocket-Launching Great Reader" diss-lee-specks no one! Not even azz-holes who's represent the Repubrickan Party in Norf Carolina!! The Glorious mal-nourished People's of the DPRK and World-Why-Webb fans of our Peace-Loving Great Reader, who carefully constructs Nuke-wwe-are, Kimmy-cal, and Biodeegwade-a-bull, weapons for PEACE and PROFIT$ are great-wee offended by this blatant attack! In the name of the Peoples Fat-Free/Starvin-like-Marvin Army JihadGenes has stolen this brain-fart (idea) frum Neck at Redneck Ramblings, who also has a great recipe for deep-fried-baked-microwaved-oven-roasted-boiled goat scrotums too!
Naughty Language Warning!

Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Friday, April 25, 2008

Yeah...I Knows it be Fly-Day! Let's dance PIGS!

What with Senator John McLame McCain calling racism on the North Carolinian's Republican Party and all...he needs to hear this song! No, John... I don't wanna see your MOH. I will always respect you for your sacrifices, on foreign soil. You can't hang with conservatives (who are NOT racists)John? I wish you could but my doubts deepen. If ya listen to the music it has a message. One that should resound throughout America!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Parkway Rest Stop's Jimbo Scared of Gators! Mass Production of X-Ray Spex Halted!

Meanwhile somewhere's Souf of PyongYang in "The Land of the Morning Missile Launch" we find Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL at the TOP SECRET launch site of his newest creation...

KIM- General Wang! Have starving workers move TOP SEEQUIT STATUE over to da left sum more. Little moe....a little moe...PERFLECT! Yeah BABY! Rookin good!! Keep curtain up on SPECIAL PROJECT!!
No unveiling's yet!!!

WANG- Great Reader?

KIM- Yes?

WANG- Why are we having our Gloriously Starving Prisoner/Volunteer Work Crews stop all production on Xray Spex? I mean it is our NUMBER ONE seller in Iran and Syria, and are now our Glorious Slave Laborer's are working around-the-clock on this project, Most Confusing One.

KIM- You wants mine honest answer, Wang?

WANG- I would appreciate that, Great One.

KIM- Oklay...Scout's Dishonor (puts right hand over where his heart should be)! I'm build this to TERROR-FRY A MORTAL ENEMY OF THE D.P.R.K.!

WANG- Dick Cheney? Condi Rice? Sec Def Gates?

KIM- Nope. Nope. And hell nose!

WANG- Red Neck of Redneck Ramblings?

KIM- Nope. Guess again.

WANG- Joated of Compass Points?

KIM- Moe worse than that!

WANG- Teresa of Technicalities? Erica? Drunken Wisdom? Straight White Guy? Jimbo of the Parkway Rest Stop?

KIM- No. No. No. No. BLINGO!!!

WANG- So what is behind the curtain, Most feared One?

KIM- Most scariest thing on face of earf to that heathen JimO of Plarkweigh Restraunt!
Now do the unveiling of hideous statue and beholding of it's terror-frying effects!
(the curtain falls)....BEHOLD!

KIM- Yoo scared, huh Wang?

WANG- Me? Oh. Well...

KIM- You scared, right?!

WANG- Yes Great Reader! (for my families sake)

KIM- Good. I'm thought so! Now open gates to KIM Jong IL' s Wocket City Amusement Park and let our rich Syrian guests in!!!

WANG- Right away, Sir!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

For Our Glorious Comrades in J.C.Penny-Sylvania

Let's face it...not ownree has Audie Murphy been To Hell and Back but so have the ordinary folks of the Key Stone State! Great Reader deadickates this to you frums a MAD mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad and mad mad mad mad mad mad mad..World.

Ruv You Looong Time!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Great Reader KIM Jong IL Declares Favored Nation Status for US Territory SOMOA

DATELINE- KaeSong (a little norf of the DMZ)

Yes, it's OHFISHWALL! The WWE/RAW has won a special place in Great Reader KIM Jong IL's heart (if he had one), thanks in large part to the action of Americlan Somoa's own truly Native Son the Somoan Bulldozer UMAGA! See 4 minute Video of the match between B.O. and Hill-ree. Special "boxers or brief" appearance by Brill Clinton too! This is WWE/DPRK GOLD!
For UMAGA's actions "Great Wrestler KIM Jong IL" has decwared all wockets not to have pointy-ends pointed towards the Island of Somoa! Great Wrestler's merciless mercy's nose no bounds! All hail the DPRK's Great Reader and UMAGA!!!
(For best results see video when under the influence of Senator John McLame) RYLT!JG

Monday, April 21, 2008

KIM Jong IL Ruv's American Politics Big Time!

It doan get any better than this Grass-hopper!

Ruv RAW and W.W.E. Looong Time!
Great Reader KIM JONG IL & JihadGene

Sunday, April 20, 2008

KIM Jong IL in Black Five Dot Net Video by KEV

Black Five WOKS! Song be DIRTY! SO is death. White dog got away...cool. Terrorists get their feces blown away!!! You think me sad, me fweel bad? HELL NO! ME GLAD!!! I'm GREAT READER AND I'M A PROOF OF THIS YOU TLUBE by "KEV"!!!JG

Friday, April 18, 2008

It's 3 AM in North Korea and KIM Jong IL Picks Up the Phone by jihadgene

Meanwhile somewhere in Pyongyang, Norf Korea, DPRK, it's 3 AM in the Imperial Palace of Great Reader KIM Jong IL, and we find that his telephone is bling-ing.
KIM- (someone at the bedroom door) Knocka-Knocka-Knocka! ...ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...KNOCK-KNOCK!
....Who's dare?!

WANG- It's me, Great Reader. Seven Star General Wang of the Most Glorious Mal-Nourished Peoples Army, Sir!

KIM- And yous wakes me up at 3 AM in the morning for whats, Wang? Yoo have some kinda death wish or some-ting ?

WANG- Oh no Sir! Phone, Sir. You have a call.

KIM- From who?

WANG- I don't know Sir...what with budget cuts and all...we couldn't afford
"Caller I.D."

KIM- Damn! Give me phone Wang!

WANG- Yes, Great Reader.

KIM- HELL-ROW MYSTERY CALLER! It's 3 AM and I am Great Reader KIM Jong IL! Who are you and from where are you calling?

CALLER#1- Blah.Blah.Blah. Reverend Jay of Chicago, Illinois USA.

KIM- Yes. I'm heard of you, Looong Time! Yoo some kinda Spirit-filled Leader, a WEVEREND with your owns church, nose less. So's how's your Jooo Hatin' Congregation on the Souf Side of Chicago doin? Donations up?

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah. Must be gas prices.

KIM- I hear ya! So's what chew calls for?

Caller#1- Well, Blah.Blah.Blah.

KIM- No kiddin?

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah.

KIM- But the Dude's runnin' for President... and you means to tells me he never says the word "RUV" to or about anyone or any thang and can only say the word "REVERE" instead?! Per scripture in the Bible? Where in the Bible is that kinda sick crap?!

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah.Trinity United Church Bible.

KIM- OOoh, that Bible. OKray. But I mean... the guy musta told his wife he "RUV'D" her at some time. I means they have two kids, and all. What kinda wife would...

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah. M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E.

KIM- You're right. Sayin he ruv'd her would only piss her off even more.
I means what with her daily struggles and all.

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah. Struggles?

KIM- Sure! She's only making around $300k a year, "a typical" Nubian Goddess in the middle-class, whose an Ivy-League-Educated Administrator, who lives on/in a suburban estate, and whose friends are all "typical white" average, middle-income, blue-collar lawyers, just strugglin' day-2-day for some frickin gas money. Yep. Life in America is a real bitch, for her, I'm sure.

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah.

KIM- You're right. Enough abrout her.

Caller#1- So how do we fix...Blah.Blah.Blah?

KIM- Have him wear a USA flag pin on his "Team Rezko" bowling shirt!

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah.

KIM- Ya did that, did ya? Lasted half of a day, did he? Not good.

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah.Barry.

KIM- Sure. Put him on.

Caller#2- Blah, HOPE! Blah, CHANGE! Blah. Blah. Blah. No good ABC!
45 minutes of B.S.!

KIM- Lookie hear! Whens ABSeize Jorge Steponallofus and Charlie SuxPelosiAss Gibson gives you "womens" you needs to makes "womens aid" outta that! You savy, Home-Slice?

Caller#2- "Typical white"...Blah.Blah.Blah.

KIM- Don't go throwin Granny under the bus again, even if I liked it.

Caller#2- Blah. Blah. Just Words.

KIM- Oh hells no! You used that and it's cummin back to haunt your stoopid a$$ all-ready! Even an eye-so-late-ted DickTater can see that!!!
Now just chill and wee-pete after me...

Caller#2- Blah. Blah. Chillin'. I will wee-pete...

KIM- Good. Now say "I'm RUV mine cat".

Caller#2- Blah. Blah. Cat.

KIM- Good. Now say "I'm RUV mine dog".

Caller#2- Blah. Blah. Dog.

KIM- Great! Now we bee cookin' wiff gas!

Caller#2- Blah. Blah. Gas.


Caller#2- ........no response...............

KIM- Hell-row! Anysbodies there?! HELLLLL-ROOOOOOOOOOW!!!

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.Blah.

KIM- He took a smoke break?!...whatever......

Caller#1- Blah.Blah.OPRAH.

KIM- Sure, put her on.

Caller#3- Blah.Blah.Blah. And furthermore blah-blah-blah-blah-blah!

KIM- General Wang! Put on a 50 gallon (US) drum of coffee! It's gonna be a looong night. (back to Oprah...er..caller#3)...No, I have no idea why you and Stedman broke up.

Caller#3- Blah.Blah.Blah. And furthermore...

KIM- (to self) No wonder Chicago is having earf-quakes.

KIM Jong IL in LiveLeak TOP GUN VIDEO!

Take this you mealy-moufed Scientology-Ruving fookheads! This is for those who swerve (serve) in the air! The DPRK's very own TOP GRUNN!
We at Great Reader saw-root (salute) the U.S. Air Florce, and all the Squids-at-Sea (Navy Pirates & unfortunate U.S.Marine Aviators). U.S. Army Pilots and Cloast Guard TOO!

Eat a tail-hook, George DoubleWoo BLOOSH!

It's a'nudder FlyDay You Pigs! Looks Like it's Friday for this US Marine too!

Have a Great Reader weekend and keep our troops and their families in your prayers. That's an ORDOR! KIM Jong IL CLOMMANDS YOO!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Great Reader Rejects Elitist Characterization

EVANSVILLE, Norf Korea (APEE) — Great Reader KIM Jong IL said Wednesday he is a product of a working-class background and rejected characterizations of him and his BEST FRIEND (Barry O. of Chicargo) as elitist.

Democratic People's Repubrick of Korea DickTater for Life KIM Jong IL has tried to deflect criticism of his comments that people in small towns cling to religion and a yearning to freely tote guns, out of bitterness over their economic plight. Great Readers Freedum Luving rivals ERICA and Republican Redneck "Neck" luver of John McCain have called the remarks elitist! KIM Jong IL said it was a poor choice of words to describe the economic insecurity many face.

"I'm bee a product of a wurking-crass blackground, I am one of those People's Folks who grow'd up in that struggle! That is the secret-spy-lens through which I see the world," Great Reader told a cheering crowd at Herringbone School of Wocketry, the first stop of a three-ville campaign swing ahead of the state's May 5/Cinco-de-Mayo campaign for underdocumented mex-cans.

"So when people talk about this elitist stuff, I'm say, 'You couldn't prossibly know anyting abrout me or Barry.' So let me give you a betta sense of who me and Illegal Aliens are and why we're doing this," he said.

KIM Jong IL said the difficulties people face are wheelie real.

"Underdocumented Rio Grande Scooba Divers/Today's American Working Class immigrants are struggling like never before," he said. "We shouldn't be surprised that people are cynical. There is a level of cynicism that comes when you feel like no matter how hard you work, no matter how much you do, you never catch up and you certainly can't get ahead. I'm means not enough food stamps! You nose how little a welfare check is? In Norf Korea welfare= GULAG. So you don't believe that George DoubleWoo BUSH and even Nancy Pelosi can do anything for you, you lose hope. Just look at Syria! I'm means even Nancy Pelosi tawked happy-tawk wiff the Dude/President/Optometrist of Sirius and still him wants to ride the Jooo's Dirty like the Weverend Jeremiah Wright Jr at a hate all Joo's recognition Day Parade & Trinity United Church Social. Naturally, you fold your arms in disgust of the whole stankin process."

As a result, he said, people become iso-waited. Henceforth, The Hermit Kingdom Hall of KIM Jong IL's Witnesses/Victums!

"They feel lonely and oftentimes they're embarrassed by their struggle because they feel like somehow they must be doing something wrong, and I'm wood most definately kill them" he said.

That can make people "susceptible to being led by fear. Well goooolllly, imagine that" he added.

Great Reader drew heavily on his upbringing in a working-class family in a Palace, noting that his family lived on his father's communist dictator's salary while his mother stayed home.

"There were no miracles in my life," he said. "The thing that I saw that many of us still see is hard work and sacrifice. The people must sacrifice for Great Reader and MICHELLE OBAMA at all times!"

Touching on rising food and gas prices, the mortgage crisis and many Norf Koreans struggles to make ends meet on no salary, KIM Jong IL asked the crowd, "Does this sound familiar? Am I out of touch?"
No one responded.

* I would like to thank AP for their interview with Michelin...er...Michelle Obama from whom I ripped off this piece of work. Let the trolling begin!JG

Meanwhile... Waiting for Redneck Ramblings to Surface

Great Reader KIM Jong IL heres! While we waits for the return of "Neck" I give you, the fans of all things frum Norf Carolina, a video. The video is of poor quality (which is plobbly a good thing) and tankfully only lasts abrout 1 minute and 41 seconds. Crank up da volume! CWANK IT UP, I'M SAYS!!! Now rets all give a standing-on-our-own ovation for the Redneck National Anthem!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


I'm afflaid our friend and arch enemy, Mista Wed-Neck, is either deceased or his
penis-pump implant surgery, performed in a Norf Carolina High Skool Science Lab, has gone awry! He has not posted anysthings on his brogg in many daze now. So unlike him not to have a new recipe posted at Redneck Ramblings for Carolina Pan-Fried Sow's Spinchter! Mmmm...Mmmm...grood. We no have Soy Milk Cartons to put his plicture on so's mine brogg will have to do this vital work! By my sincere conslern for da safety an wells-beings of the MIA WedNECK, I GREAT READER KIM JONG IL, am once again ploof positive, that I'm a good guy and WedNECK is nuttin butt a bait-suckin BLOWFISH!!! Here be Plicture...
Medicare will help pay for da surgery yoo so's desperately needs. WED-NECK COME HOME!

MMM...Korean Space Food!

I'm not sure but I'm thinking this is how NBC's AL Roker lost all that weight.

Meanwhile (About 8 years ago) somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, we find DPRK's
Great Reader KIM Jong IL with his Ma...

Lil KIM- Rook, Mom! Space KimChee in a can!

MOMMASAN- Wee-cyclable too! Vice Plesident Al GOE wood be proud! Now, Jong-IL, go play your game of Gulags & GrodZilla's.

Lil KIM- Screw Dat! I'm play wiff WOCKETS!

MOMMASAN- KIMMY JONG IL!!! Don't yoo's ebber talk to your Mommy like that!

Lil KIM- Does the phraze "I'm kill you looong time"... bling any bells?

MOMMASAN- Do as you please, Great Reader.

Lil KIM- I'm thought so.

Photo* Great Reader kickin-it with an illegal alien.

JihadGene is Back! or Reamed Out 'n Ready! by Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Ahh...yes, weedhopper (same-same grasshopper)! JihadGene is back and weddy to do battle with all RedNecks four-N and Domesticated! I'm Great Reader KIM Jong IL and I'm have video proof of JihadGene's physical fitness! The man is amazing! Just ask Ericklaw or Teresa! Not ownree does Jihadgene dodge sniper fire with the best-of-them (on a daily basis) but he can out-run a Ranger bass boat on land! Note* Out-running US Army Rangers is another story so ret's not goes into that. Here be JihadGene Fitness Video. Take off your leg warmers Jane Flonda! Put down the Thigh-Masters you Suzanne Summers! THE KID IS BACK!!!

Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Going to the Hospital Today by jihadgene

My wife and son think it's funny as hell... I'm at that age where they say you need this procedure done as a precaution. A butt reaming for sure, with photos even. Wife says it's important. Today she's Korean all right, a North Korean. If only I had the strength of a Baghdad Bob (My favorite Iraqi War Bad-guy). I would tell them all (Wife/Kid/anyfrickinbody at the Hospital) as
Baghdad Bob did on March 23, 2003-
"In Umm Qasr, the fighting is fierce and we have inflicted many damages. The stupid enemy, the Americans and British, failed completely. They're not making any penetration."
Or another fitting quote from Bob on April 7, 2003
"This invasion will end in failure."
Oh praise Allah, MY ASS! I guess I'll have to type while standing up.
Later Gators! JG

Monday, April 14, 2008

North Korea threatens to cut off Happy-Talk with Redneck Ramblings and North Carolina

SEOUL (Rooters) - North Korea threatened to suspend dialogue with the Red Neck Ramblings Brogg over comments made by a Redneck himself and said it was ready to attack its wealthy neighbour, who have a navy of bass boats, an army of pickup twucks, and all of 'em loaded for bears. Some bass boats are reported to have Red's own copperhead technology. The Norf Korean state media said... "The Starving Korean People's Army (SKPA) will counter any slightest move on the Carolina's side for 'pre-emptive attack' with more rapid and more powerful pre-emptive attack of its own mode. Besides Redneck is a big CHUM BAG! He's a CHUNK, a YELLOW-TAILED CIGAR MINNOW, a LIPLESS CRANKBAIT!".. the Norf's KCNA (KIM Chee News Agency) quoted one of its military officials as saying.
***We will keep YOU, our "Glorious Weaders" informed as the situation developes.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Great Reader Says "Norf Carolina, You're on My Sh*T List"! Camp Lejeune On FULL ALERT!! by jihadgene

USMC Gunnery SGT Vincent CARTER says, "And I thought the Nam was farookin nutz!
Ain't that some sh*t?"

KIMMYnewz'nViewsDotCrom)-Yes, says Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL to USMC's Sgt Carter's response of dis-be-reef! But who brought Armageddon down on the heads of the poor,pitiful, red-necked ones, of Mount Pilot, Norf Carolina?
RED NECK... a most horrid brogger, with a brogg aptly called "Redneck Ramblings" is no friend to KIM Jong IL. This guy has more priors than any associate of the Rose Law Firm, Enron, or O.J. Simpson.
Blasphemous REDNECK crap from the past-

*When you goin’ to twy out for ‘merican Idol? I think you’ve got the talent for that.

*Screw your cousin’ and keep it in the family. You probably already are, just don’t know it.

*Friends don’t let friends get shit hammered and fuel wocket fuelers.

*One more thing GW,or JG, or whatever it says on your cufflinks… damn, I almost botched that one and typed fucklinks… this bilingual shit is for the birds

*Probably has hair envy. To hell with penises… they’re overrated is his assumption I assume. I didn’t say he was the sharpest knife in the dwar…

*He shoots bottlw wockets over Japan when they ain’t lookin’… like at night time, or early in the mornin’. Really. Pisses Japan off. Evwey time. It’d piss me off too if I was sleepin’ and some waterhead let one fly… or dropped a bag of flamin’ dog shit on my porch and rang and ran… That kinda fella.

...And the all most Last Straw that broke-back the Mountain of KIM Jong IL...

***When you goin’ to twy out for ‘merican Idol? I think you’ve got the talent for that.

Now last straw...

***Hey, you got any bad asses over there? I'm willin' to go 60-40 with you on a Walker Texas Ranger vs. the best you got pay per view

Enuff all-leady! I'm can not takes this any mores! You, the one with the Necks of Red...You challenge me?! ME THE GREAT READER?! To's a duel with your LOWLY hero??!!...

Great Reader KIM JONG IL with W.W.Wii Wrestling Tag Team Partner (in a RED shirt) Hulk LowGun! Up for the Challenge!!!

In the infamous words of Bills O'Riley, WTF's say you?! Huh, WED NECK?!

Masters Tournament Suffers Supreme Loss or Great Reader Screwed-Over by Scurrilous FAA, FFA , & American Airlines by jihadgene

Great and Glorious Peoples of the Peace-Ruvving (Thru-World-Domination) Democrappick People's Repubrick of NORF Korea DEMANDS a FAIR and TRUE Masters Tournament!!! Our most be-ruvved Great Reader, WORLD'S GREATEST GOLFER, KIM Jong IL was en-route,wiff glolf clubs and everythang, whens the FAA (*F* All American flyers....or just *F* All Americans (korean one's too), in general) decided to wield the heavy handed monkey-wrench of dubious behavior in the name of lawlessness and disodor! In the words of that Great American, Gomer PYLE,
"SHAME. SHAME. SHAME"! or was that HILL-Ree Clinton? Regardless...our beruvved and most wonderful duffer, The Great Reader, KIM Jong IL will not bee in the former Soviet State of Georgia, home to the American Cracker-box Builder/Enabler/President Jimmy Carter, thusly missing out on this GLORIOUS VICTORY for NORF KOREA! Our Starving People's own Great Reader and Master Pilot/Master Military Strategist/Master of Disaster KIM Jong IL, will not take this laying down! It is reported that Great Reader began taking SNIPER FIRE from RED NECKS over the Mayberry/Mount Pilot regions of Norf CAROLWINEAH. As if thats was not reprehensible enough, Great Reader,KIM Jong IL's flight was "red-waved" off frum the City of Atlantis, Georgia because of a failed inspection required by the FFA (Future Farmers of America). It seems there was lead in the paint-chips near the wheel wells of our plane...an MD/MoganDavid/MadDawg 20/20. It was further disclosed that the "Here Boy! Pooch Treats" served by our Joy Brigade Stewardesses contained suspicious CHINESE chicken parts! So our Gloriously Great Reader returned home (after having his stomach pumped at 33,000 feet) to his adoring fans in the gulags and peasants, starving in the fields of Beautiful North Korea. TIGERS WOODS...when questioned by Norko Newz about his most assured victory (now that Great Reader KIM Jong IL was out of the competition) was quoted as saying the following........WTF? We also questioned Senator Barrack "Whos-Named" Obama's SPIRITUAL ADVICER the Reverend Jeremiah Wright Jr (the 13th) about the American Airlines incident and the "REV" said only...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Great Reader Commands You Read This!

It's called Wealth by "straightwhiteguy" dated April 9th, 2008. The SWguy is in a class with Steinbeck. It's that good. Savor the read...here.

Great Reader (Yeah, he still ruv's yoo looong time!)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Great Reader's Security Breech....or Unwelcomed Visitors by jihadgene

Meanwhile back in the Land of the Morning Missile Launch. Somewhere's north of the DMZ (or Red Neck Ramblings' TMZ.com) Great Reader and Late Sleeper, KIM Jong IL is awakened at precisely....Knock-knock-knock! Bling-blong! BLING-BLONG! KNOCKA_KNOCKA-KNOCKA!BLING-BLOOOONG LOOONG-TIME!!!
KIM- Grood grief! (looks at time-mex watch) Eight 'O Crock?! EIGHT 'O CROCK IN DA MORNING?! Who in dee hell's wakes up Great Reader at Eight A.M.? Guess I'm find out.(KIM opens door to three Jehovah's Witnesses)

JW#1- Good morning Sir!

KIM- Yes?

JW#2- Sir, have you ever wondered what is going on in today's worldly-world?

KIM- Well, I'm...

JW#3- Have you ever asked what is going on in this worldly-world of worldly-men?

KIM- Well, I'm...


KIM- Look, here Five Dollah (U.S.)! Juss takie and yoo go now. No needs WatchTower or Awake magazine. Have a nice day.
(KIM shuts door)
I'm muss be getting old. I'm was nice to doze guys...Oh well, back to bed!

(KIM opens door)

KIM- Does I'm knows you guys on bi-psychos (bicycles)?

Mormon#1 & Mormon#2- Perhaps Sir. We are here representing The Jesus Christ Church of...

KIM- I'm nose...Ladder daze Saints. Okray. Here 5 Dollah (U.S.)! I'm buy some Amway laundry detergent and one Donnie & Marie CD.
(KIM shuts door)


And so it goes. Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL

Monday, April 7, 2008

Barrack and Michelle Out for a Stroll by jihadgene

Meanwhile out for a stroll near U.C. Berkeley...

MICHELLE- Oh, Barry it's such a lovely day for a walk.

BARRACK- (smokers cough)HAAAAK! You know it Baby Girl. Haaak!

MICHELLE- I wish you'd stop that!(to Barrack as he launches/burns another lung rocket)

BARRACK- Haaaaaaaawk! Stop what, Puddin-Pants? haaak!

MICHELLE- Nothin, Dear. Oh Barry, look! It's the Red, White, & Blue! And in Berkeley!

BARRACK- Don't even look at it, Puddin. Haaaaaak! I will not salute it! We shall ignore it. HAK!

MICHELLE- Oh Barry. For the 2nd time in my adult life, I'm proud to be an American!

BARRACK- HaaaaK! Funny but I thought there were some more stars on it for some (HAAK!) reason.

There's a 7-Eleven!Haka-hak! I gotta pick up another pack of smokes!




MICHELL- Oh Hey! Sounds like Reverend Wright's in town!

BARRACK- That or there's a Trinity United Church in Berkeley.HAK-HAK-KAAAAWAAaaaK!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

We Call Him "CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ" by JihadGene

CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ , that's what my 12 year old son calls him. Hell, it's what my wife and I call him. When praying for Charlie at the dinner table, it was always for CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ. When signing and sending a card, or with me, my son (Ben) filling up a flat-rate USPS box with goodies that would neither explode nor melt, it was for CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ. That's his name in our house. It will always be that way. He's been named... like when family call you Sport, or Bud, or Bone-Head, or Tiger! ... It's just CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ. That's how it is. Years later, I know if my son looks through these cyber-photos, and see's US Marine CPL Charles MECHLING III, he'll say...there's CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ! Charlie is the son of a friend I met through the Patriot Guard Riders. Charlie's Dad, I know as "Chief". To him I'm Jihad or JihadGene. I cherish his friendship. Chief is an American, a Former US Marine
(Beirut Barracks), a Native American LAKOTA Indian, and caucasian. Chief loves his country and his people...which includes his son Charlie. CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ has those blood-ties plus his mom is Korean (small world). Put 'em all together and stand back(any and all enemies of the United States of America)! I first met Charlie on a Patriot Guard Riders "Welcome Home" ride, back from his 1st tour in Iraq. It started at Camp Pendleton and eventually ended in Stockton. One of Charlie's supporter's was a teacher from his high school, who was always impressed by Charlie's warmth and great qualities. Man that's refreshing!. That's Charlie! So while Charlie got busy back home (Camp Pendleton), I got involved with SoldiersAngels thanks to BLACK FIVE (that merry band of Saints & Son's-A-B*tche's) who put out a call for Soldier's Angels to support some 3,000 US Marines with the 13th MEU, I jumped in. Three months later the Fight'n 13th was home. Some months later Chief e-mails me that Charlie's back in the fight (Al-AnBar Province again) and could use some Coppenhagen and socks. Ahh... the life of a Marine Infantryman! So I couldn't wait to join in and get my 12 year old son involved picking out stuff for CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ. Ben, always came up with some great ideas for stuff/snacks that could survive the harsh enviornment and weather. A little later, guess what? CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ wrote us a letter! We will always treasure it! This great kid, who's Dad (Chief) says, "My son is a carpenter, he carries a S.A.W." (squad automatic weapon), took time away from his busy day and wrote. During this tour CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ lost his best friend MATT, from Houston,Texas to an IED. I wrote to CHARLIE-IN-IRAQ, about his friend's death. I don't remember what I said but hoped it would help, and it was hard to write. Some months, packages, cards-and-letters later, CHARLIE-IN IRAQ, completed his 2nd tour and is back at Pendleton.
You ask us (my son and I) to name a great W.W.E. Wrestler and we'd give you different answers. Ask us who's an American Hero, and together we'll tell ya, It's "CHARLIE-IN IRAQ"!!!.
JihadGene & Ben

*Please join or give to Soldier's Angels. JG.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

RRRRRRRRRRRR! Smelly Somali Pirates at it Again! by great reader

*Pic is of Somali Pirates or Oakland Raiders fans (they all same-same)*

Great Reader KIM Jong IL here. Those scurvy-mouthed, khat-chewing, non-bacon eating, pig-sucking, moose-limb b*tch-ass, plunk-ass, Somali-assed PIE-RATS...are at it again. This times a Fwench Wuxury Yacht.

You YOO SOMALI PLYWITT PUNKS foursget what Glorious Sailors of Norf Korea do to yours PUNK PIE-RATT ASSES?!!! Heres for reminder...in world's greatest milbrogg blackfive...by SUBSUNK...
titled "NORF KOREANS FIGHT PIRATES/HELP US NAVY" (title changed for face saving of Great Reader)

JihadGene channels...

Meanwhile, having been away a few days in Wost Vegas, we find Great Reader, KIM JONG IL, back on the intoenet, in the good old DPRK, checking the latest news...
KIM- HOE-REE KOW!!!! General Wang!!! You get you koon-dingie in front and center of me right now, MISTA!!!
WANG- Yes Great Gambler!
KIM- Doan you Great Gambler me! Rook at Brack Five!!! Why I'm no infloormed of DPRK's Numba Wun luxury tramp steamer, "The Die Hong Dan" been high-japped ! That Hi-Tech boat cum complete wiff assorted Triple AAA maps, a Realistic ship-to-hootch radio, and a Cricket cell phone! Oh...I'm fweel sick! ROOK it seems that Brack Five's lackey...the Rear's Admirable SUBSKUNK...is requesting of immediate leesponse frum Great Reader via that hung over blastard, JihadGene!!! Rooks rike U.S. NayBee Sale0ars save day....butts, boat, and booty's too! Oh I'm sooo sick...
I'm glonna die after I'm kill you, Wang.
WANG- But Great Gambler, I'm not bother wiff news because I'm want you having a good time. You need relax more.
KIM- (Sigh) Dat be true Wang. I'm need to re-wax more. Well...at reast crew of Regal Garbage Scowl, "Hong Kong Dan's" kick ass of katt-chewing heathen skinny Somali ply-rits. ....Hey! What was car-glow on VIP Class Toxic Barge "Long Dong Dan"?
WANG- The usual, your Most High Rollerness.....some rubberized vomit, slightly irregular/assorted Halloween costumes, plastic dog poop, 3 kilos of weapons grade/highly enriched uranium, and "X-Ray Spec's".
KIM- Awww, not the X-Ray Spec's! That's my Numba # 1 hot-seller in Tehran.

...and now Great Reader is back floor more comment, via a broke, hung-over yet happy, JihadGene....

KIM- Okray General Wang!....Let's doo some dlamage controll on dis here Somali Plyriscee Case on da High Seas.

WANG- How can we do damage control Great Reader? It be all over pages of web on Black Five!

KIM- I'm knows what yooz means Wang....but it nebber to wait to make WomenAid out of Women's! Knows what I'm mean. Wang?

WANG- I don't even know what the hell you said, Great Reader, Sir.

KIM- Eggsacktly. We gunna put Norf Korean spin on dis
hair-ball and makie US NayBee rook rike helpwess little girls! Now dicktate great dicktation frum "Super-Blain" of Great Reader KIM JONG IL!....yoo weddy?

WANG- Yep...I've got my Bic and notebook, Great DickofTater.

KIM- To whom it maybe concern...you BRACK FIVE Whores of PLOPaGANDA! How dares you treats my Gloriously Magnificated, in all of History blooks, DPRK SailOars, da Froot of Great Readers Loins... like sum weak kneed British Blastards, who love touring Iran wiff Weasel faced mudder pucker Plesident Ammadweinerjihad! Who do yoo BRACK FIVE tink yoo are...Frickin TIM RUSSERT! Yoo pile on innocent DPRK Wrongshoremen just rike BaaLack Whos-name ObLamma and company, on Great Sintore Hill-Ree Clintone (D-WhittleRoc) at Democrap Plesidential Deblates! Well it no work wiff me! So yoo stop sclandelous RightWing plopAganda slurr-machine! NOW SHUT UP OR I'M KILL YOU!!!
...How's dat, Wang?

WANG- You show'd 'em, Boss!

KIM- Yes I did!

Friday, April 4, 2008


Have a Great Reader Week-End!

Ruv Yoo Loong Time!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
DPRK 90210

* I'm ruv's accordion

Thursday, April 3, 2008

KIM Jong IL Has Yard Sale! Save Big $! Promises No Cheap Chinese Junk! by jihadgene

Don't let this happen to you!

GREAT READER TO THE FLEE-DUMB FIGHTERS frums IRAN-LIKE-HELL- Long may you JIHAD!(is good for business). SPEAKIN OF BIDNESS...The following "YOU TLUBE" is not an "ACURA" repweesentation of a typical Norf Korean quality weapon. Mine weapons No "Bro-Up" like OBLAMA'S wife at a taping of the next OPRAH Show, extolling the virtues of turkey bacon!!!
This Video is real-wee rare footage of one of Vrice President Dick ChainKnee's hunting safari's. The Dick is off camera, while his hunt'n buddy, who obveeously attends Chicago's Trinity Church, is prepping the happy hunting grounds with cheap-assed "MADE IN STINKIN CHINA" mortar fire! WhooooWeeeeee! Looks at that sucka 'splode! We at NORKO use ownlee's the best stuff. See? No lead paint on our tubes, for little toddler jihadi's, (and future suicide bombers) to be harmed by! I'm Ruv Yoo (my clustermurs) Looooooooong Time! And HELL yes, we take PayPal!

Ruv Yoo (too) Looong Time!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
CEO for life, NORKO
NORKO "Where we brings good lives to an end".

*No one (other than Dick C.) were unharmed in the making of this video.

Reuters News Agency Says-North Korea sells rocket launchers to Myanmar! Great Reader Ticked Off!

Meanwhile somewheres north of the Samsung/Hyundai Line, in Norf Korea, Land of the Honey Pots (pots-for-poopin in), we find Great Reader, KIM Jong IL crappy, not happy...

WANG (Seven-Star-General of Glorious DPRK)- Well, what will you do with the Reuters report saying you are selling rocket launchers to Myanmar,Great One?

KIM- Norf Korea will juss ignores it.

WANG- Just ignore it, Sir?

KIM- Abs-of-steel-LUTELY!

WANG- How can you/me/we possibly get away with that, Sir?

KIM- Behinds ebbery great man dares a great womans!

WANG- Who did you have in mind, Great Reader?

KIM- The ones and owner-ree... Mrs. Baa-Rak "Who's-Named" OBAMA!

WANG- Barrack's wife, Sir?

KIM- You nose any other Mrs."Mitchell B-25" OBAMA'S?
(must remember B-25 is good for BLINGO number)

WANG- So how did Michelle...

KIM- That's Mrs Martin-Marauder(B-26) OBAMA, Wang!

WANG- Very good, Sir. So how does she fit in with your plan to IGNORE this news?

KIM- What she say udder day (months ago)?... I'm tells you... shes says "AMERICRANS ARE A HOE-BUNCH OF IGNORE-IT'S"!
I'm tells you Wang, them Americlans IGGNORES or FLOORGETS everything!

WANG- I don't know, Sir....

KIM- I'M DOAN NOSE, SIR?!!! Yoo mighty dlumb for Seven Star General! Now....read...my...WHIPS!!!......Whose NORF of souf Korea, and gots NUKE-QUEER- WOCKETS?!?!?!??? (KIM GOES ON) Well Mr.Contestant for
"Saving of His Familie's Life" WANG?(Final Jeopardy round of music playing...
do, do, do, do, do-do-do. and so's on...)

WANG- I'll take, "My Family Lives" for $1,000,000... Great Reader!

KIM- Very good, Seven Star General "with a living family" Wang.

WANG- Sir?

KIM- Yes?

WANG- This is Plan A, and if I know you at all, Sir, you certainly have a Plan B, Great One.

KIM- Very good General Wang! Yoo now has a family with one weeks ration of kimchee!

WANG- Great Sir! But Plan B?

KIM- I'm will says Great Reader is having a Spring Kleening/Garage/Yard Sale and that some Millrittary Hardwares (WOCKET LAUNCHERS) some-howze slipped in. An honest mistake and an honorable lie. The U.N. will suck it up!

WANG- And if Plan B fails? And you are not believed by the USA, Great Reader?

KIM- I'll just take the Norf Korean 8th AmensMent?

WANG- The eighth letter of the alphabet ,Sir? The letter "H"? The HILLARY, Sir.

KIM- Yoo gots it, Wangster!

WANG- So you'll just say you "MISSPOKE' and get away with everything...?....Brilliant!

KIM- Good night, Wang.

WANG- Jammies, Sir? The ones with the feet?

KIM- Yur a good man, Wang.


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Best Norf/Souf Korean Hip-Rop Video Ev'a! Yoo Tlube!

Great Reader, KIM Jong IL odors yoo to watch & enjoy! (or him kills you!)

Ruv Yoo Looong Time,

Great Reader fors ev'a! & JihadGene
PyongYang, DPRK/French Camp,Coweeflornia 90210 (not...just teasing)

KIM Jong IL Seeks Spiritual Advisor Calls 411 by jihadgene

Meanwhile as we return to somewheres north of the 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL about to hit a bwick-wall. (one we've all hit.)

KIM- Boy, good thing NorKo R&D peoples hook me up wiff a ploosh button secret spy phone. Look General Wang! Even wittle numbas light up so's I can see when that 3:00 AM phone call comes in frum John McLAME!

WANG- Yes. Very nice, Sir.

KIM- Nows I'm calls Wirld-Wide 411 infloormation numba and gets a hold of Reverend guy in Chicagrow, Illynoise of USA.
Lets see.....(dialing).....beep4....boop1...boop1....
It's wurking! It's blinging! Me sooo happy!

VOICE- (recorded)......Hello! And welcome to the Aggravating Telephone & Toilet (AT&T)
Company's International Information, *Patriot Act Approved*, Request Line! Lets begin...
*For Spanish, press numero UNO
*For Eng-Rish, please press ###*####*89654**#

KIM- Okray......uh............... ###*####*89654*# ....there...

VOICE- The code entered ###*####*89654*# is incorrect, please re-enter the code...until you get it right we will play AT&T adds for you...(recording).....Tired of legs falling asleep while reading on the toilet?...then Blah-Blah, and Blah is the answer to your prayers! We at Blah-Blah, and Blah...

KIM- I'll wee-enter your damn code, blitch!

VOICE- Good Job! Now choose from the following choices...
For Koreans who speak Eng-Rish press TWO, now.

KIM- Uhmmm... (pressing 2)............bloop2.

VOICE- "I said" press TWO, now. You were too slow. Try again.

(KIM- Didn't I'm see this on Hairy Seinfeld Show?)

VOICE-................. PRESS-ONE-NOW!!!


VOICE- Pretty fast caller! Congratulations, you've made it to the next level!

KIM- (imitrait-ting Elvis) Thank yoo! Thank-yoo-very-much!

VOICE- For Eng-Rish speakin Koreans from the SOUTH. Press One.
For Eng-Rish speaking Koreans from the NORF....

KIM- (Oh hell, here it crums.)

VOICE- Please stay on the line, as you have no more buttons to push (we pushed yours enuff)...

KIM- Cool!

VOICE- Stay on the line and one of our robots will take your call, in the order it was received...your waiting time is approximately....Nine Hundred and Seven minutes....(recording) Yes friend, we at Blah-Blah, and Blah....blah-blah-blah-blah-blah

(We now leave Great Reader KIM Jong IL in automated Hell...toodles! RYLT! JG)

(To be continued?)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

OBAMA Bowls-Over Ignorant Americans by jihadgene

Dateline -
Penny-Sylvania(APee, UPS)-

Democrat Presidential "HOPE"ful,
BARRACK "Whose-Named" OBAMA has teamed up with wife, Maytag Obama, in the all-American sport of bowling! The OBAMA's are raising cash, both from and for, "Many Ignorant Americans". OPERATION M.I.A. (the brain child of Chicago's own Reverend Wright) is proving time and time again that, "There's a suck'a born every minute". Barry O. stated that his wife (Magnavox Obama) was sick and tired of all the IGNORANT AMERICANS (mostly whites, hispanics & asians) running around with cash-money in their pockets, going to StarBucks (and such), paying their mortgages on time, saving up money, and all the while not one cent has gone to help him to "CHANGE" AMERICA . Upon B.O.'s rolling out the first ball, the Reverend Jerrymyass Wright said, " See that! GAWD DAMN the gutter-ball! This is so symbolic of what GAWD IS DAMNING AMERICA for! Ya see a black man, who's on the ball, then roll the ball, then some rich white mens who's owns the bowl'n alley (balls 'n all) sees to it that the black mans balls are stuck down in the gutter!!! GAWD DAMN all the racist-assed bowl'n alley owners anyways!" At this point Senator OBAMA escorted the Rev away saying something about his crazy old "Uncle"and stating "Man, I can't wait to see those "TEAM REZKO" bowling shirts we have back-ordered". As their bowling date came to an end, B.O.'s wife (Michelin Obama) said....
"For the 2nd time in my adult life, I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN"!


(Thanks to the Parkway Rest Stop for the inspiration! Yeah, Baby!)

Great Reader Calls For Spiritual Leader. Gets Wrong Number! by jihadgene

And now, back to our Norf Korean story, and Great Reader KIM Jong IL...

KIM- Okray General Wang! Give me seekrit phone with the rotary-dial.

WANG- Here, Great One.

KIM- (Kim dials)

(Ziiiiip...clicka, clicka, clicka, click. Ziiiiip...clicka, clicka, clicka, clicka, click...Zzzip...get the idea?)

(five minutes later)
KIM- Final-wee! Great Reader's fing-ah be sore now. Man, you'd think our Norko WeSearch and Development Deplartment, could put push-buttons on this damn ting!

WANG- Phone ringing ,Sir?

KIM- Yup, phone is bling-ing alright. Somebody answer in Chicago, preeze! Good, somebodys has picked up da phone.

VOICE (on phone to KIM) : Chinese troops, they have... blah-blah-blah... beating and shooting and killing! BLAH-BLAH-BLAHHH! BANG!! BAM-BAM-BAM! KA-POW!!!

KIM- So slorry! Wong numba.

WANG- What was that Sir?! I heard, gunshots, yelling & screaming!

KIM- I'm was axidently dial wong number.

WANG- Where was that, Great Reader?

KIM- Near as I'm can figures it was the "Dollie-Rama's" office in Tibet. That... or just another day-in-the-wife of Hill-Ree Clinton, pissed at BILL again.

WANG- Yes, the Dalai Lama. My money is on Tibet, Great One. The Chinese have really screwed up.

KIM- Wang, your stoopidity nose no bounds! Look on the blight side!

WANG- Look on bright side, Your Greatness?

KIM- Sure! If it was Tibet, then Peace-Ruving US of A and all of theirs ass-krissin friends no go to the 2008 Summertimes OHRIMPICKS.


KIM- Sooo's the PYONGYANG-PING-PONG-PADDLER'S are a shoe-in for the GOLD!!!!

WANG- Very good, Sir.

KIM- Okray. Back to phoning of "SPIRIT-URINAL ADDWISER"! Wonder what is country code for the North-Side of Chicargo?....

*inspiration for this piece, brought to you by cyber-bud, deltabravo , who commented- "I'm grateful for the laughs in the midst of some not very funny subjects". Ain't it the truth DB? Ain't it the truth?JG

(To be continued, you April fools) JG