Monday, March 31, 2008
Tuesday Night( April 1) on P.B.S. FRONTLINE A Must See! "BAD VOODOO's WAR"!
JihadGene
Great Reader Depressed...Seeks Spiritual Leader by JihadGene
KIM- Awww, mudder-fruckers!!! General Wang, get over here ASLAP!
WANG- I'm right here, your Greatness. Sir, you look depressed. Oh, you're on the computer again, Sir. You know nurse Ratched said it's bad for your blood pressure, Sir. Should I call the PyongYang "Emerald Club" and order up a special nurse for you.
KIM- Naw... Me not so hor-nay, as like Brill Clinton or a NY Governor, today. Just deplessed over my latest Gulag Popularity Poll frum Sogs-Bee (Zogby) .
WANG- What's the problem, Most Depressed One?
KIM- Well, remembers the udder day, when I'm "Clacked Off" sum Wockets?
(DickTaters just wanna have fun. That's all. Same-same as Cyndi Lauper)
KIM- Yes, I seem to recall, Sir.
(Gave me damned heart-failure!)
KIM- Mayblee I'm just like the president-u-haul candy-date "Baalack Who's-name OBAMA" dude, I'm needs a "SPIRIT-URINAL Advicer"!!!
WANG- A Spiritual Advisor, Great One? Well...perhaps?
KIM- Good! Good! Set up's see-crit phone call to Chi-cogs-glow (Chicago) in US's A!
WANG- Yes Great One! (Aww sh*t! I just know I stepped into it, this time!)
*To be continued...tomorrow. I'm swears!JG
Ruv Yoo Looong Time,
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Maverick? We Don't Need No Stinking Maverick!
Got the great pic from Laughing Wolf who got it from Chuck "Z" ! Who got it frum...Batman, who got it frum...
LEONIDAS is one Bad Mammer-Jammer!
No Maverick's here!
I'm Ruv it Looong Time!
Movie 300 is killa too!
Rater Gators! Ruv Yoo Looong Time!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
DPRK 90210
Iraqi POW/MIA Sgt. Matt Maupin's Remains Identified
Sgt. Maupin: His Mission Is Complete
Go....here
Our condolences to the Maupin Family and to all whose lives he touched and felt his love.JG
How I Got Here by JihadGene
Ruv Yoo Looong Time,
JihadGene/Great Reader
Dr KIM Jong PhiL on Behavior (the detestible kind) by JihadGene
KIM- Hell-row! Docktor KIM Jong "PhIL" here. I will have my assistant, the 7 Starred General Wang, channeling Hillree Clinton again, for your enlightenment.
WANG- I don't know Sir.
KIM- I'm ODOR YOU! Besides, I have a family plan for the Wang's at any number of my Goo-Logs.
WANG- Gulags, Great Reader?
KIM- Read my whips....GOO...FWICK'N...WOGS!
WANG- I'm sooo Hillary, Doctor PhIL!
KIM- I'm taught, so.
WANG- ......uhhh.....So as our plane cork-screwed into Bosnia International, we began receiving Triple A (anti aircraft artillery). I held SinBad's hand, as he was a nervous wreck, and I made sure all trays and chairs were in the up-right position, as the Air Force flight attendants were soiling their britches and overcome with fear. As we landed the in-coming sniper fire was so fierce that our brave troops-on-the-ground, threw down their weapons, and ran-away faster than Obama tryin to catch a quick smoke! As I a picked up an abandoned M-2 .50 cal Heavy machine-gun ...
KIM- Snap out of it, WANG! I'm heard this all befloor.
WANG- So, I MISSPOKE ...! It was only the first time I did so in 12 years.
KIM- Crap! Now I'm got a 7 Star General Hill-ree. Snap out of it Wang!
*( We now say aloha to Great Reader and wish him hell.)JG RYLT!
(Thanks to DeltaBravo for this inspiration, even on a Sunday.)JG RYLT!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Rich Casebolt Shaves the Day! Great Reader Happy-Not Crappy!
- Meanwhile somewheres norf of the 38th Parallel, we find Great Reader, KIM Jong IL add-wessing the masses....
- KIM- GLEETINGS CLOMMRADS!!!
- This now from 7 star "General WANG" of the Glorious Starving People's Army. Take it away Wangster.
WANG- Uh, yes. Thank you (for not murdering my family today)
your Most Ruthless One.
KIM- Nice touch, I'm likes thats!
WANG- (Loudly Announces)
Per GREAT READER, KIM Jong IL's MOST GRACIOUS REQUEST I HAVE
THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE...
(if I hadn't done this the wife and kids were Gulag magnets)
KIM- Drum LOL, preeze.........(((#################))).......okay enuff with drums!....
Now, back to our movie....
WANG- Uh...yes, Great One...AS YOU COMRADES OF THE NORTH ARE AWARE, GREAT READER HAS BEEN BROGGING (he made me say it that way) FOR ONLY 3 OR 4 DAYS AND ALREADY IS A WORLD WIDE SUCCESS, SUCH AS NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN (none of you have computers, let-alone internet)! OUR GLORIOUS OVER-WORKED SERVERS (cheap Chinese crap) HAVE RECORDED OVER 10 BILLION HITS ON GREAT READER'S WEBSITE IN JUST THE PAST 24 HOURS ALONE! (Man, I'm burnin in hell for these lies.)
KIM- And that's not incroo-ding SPAM!
WANG- NOT INCLUDING SPAM! NOW GET BACK TO WORK (looking for food)!
KIM -Good job Wang! (I'm no kill yoo todays)
***My WWW Black Five Dot Net friend and all around Cool Cat, Rich Casebolt (word-slinger 1st Class) has reminded Gene of a literal "BLAST FRUM DA PAST" take it away Rich Casebolt!!!
Ruv Yoo Looong Time!JG
-
-
Dear Reader ...
... do be sure to remind the people of DPRK 90210 that you don't just order the building and launching of your "wockets" ...
... you sometimes act as TEST PILOT.
We have proof,
via Blackfive satellite spy camera ...
Ruv you loong time ...
Rich Case-a-bolt.
Friday, March 28, 2008
ROCKETS? WHAT WOCKETS? or KIM JONG IL WANTS ATTENTION by JihadGene
KIM- (Row-bust wee singing)
"I've Been Working on my Wockets" (sung to the tune of I've been working on the railroad)
I've been working on my wockets, all the riv wrong day.
I'm piss off the yung George BUSH....and Souf Koreans to-day!
Can't you hear the U.N. appeasing
Wise up early in the Morn
Can't yoo hear those U.N. fools shouting
KIM, we give you CORN! (for fuel only!...peoples of DPRK on diet/same-same starve)
KIMMY, don't yoo blow
KIMMY, don't yoo blow
KIMMY, don't yoo blow your Kool
KIMMY, don't yoo blow
KIMMY, don't yoo blow
KIMMY, don't yoo blow your Kool
Some one's into NUKES with Jong-IL
Someone's in ca-hoot's I know o-woe-woe. (Thanks Iran)
Some one's into NUKES with Jong-IL (Ruv yoo looong time Syria!)
Gonna buy a new YU-GO, and singing
Wockets fly, fiddlee I owe
Wockets fly, fiddlee I owe-owe-owe-owe
Wockets fly, fiddlee I owe
Sitting on the old ban-jo (banjo= toilet/W.C.)
(KIM turns to General Wang and winks)
KIM- Oh hell yeah!
(Wang alarmed at sight of rockets racing out of Pyongyang)
WANG- Yoo LAUNCHED?! Yoo LAUNCHED...AGAIN?! Why launch, Sir?!
KIM- Attention getter. Don't yoo think?
WANG- I think I'll get us both some PROZAC and Vodka.
KIM- Put a little umbrella in mine, Wang.
WANG- Certainly Great Reader.
(I better get the nurses over here with some THORAZINE)
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Vet's for Freedom Tour! Welcomed into K.C. with the Patriot Guard Riders!
I'm clommand yoo! (RYLT, GR)
God bless all involved with this!!! Rain won't stop these Patriot Guard Bikers!!! (JG)
Meet LTC Frances RICE. Hell Yeah!
*Note- HOOAH is Army tawlk for Groovy!
RYLT!
GR in DPRK
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
JIHADGENE'S SECRET/HILLARY SAVES THE DAY IN BOSNIA by Kimmy & General Wang in Norf Korea
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL back on the World Why Web again...
KIM- Wooooooooooooo! General Wang! Come quick-wee!
WANG- Here your most Hi-Tech One!
KIM- LOOK!
WANG- What is it Sir?
KIM-I'm GROOGLE JihadGene and got dirt on his stanky koon-dingie (Korea talk for butt)!
WANG- Yes indeed you have, most Googlie-Eyed One.
KIM- That's Groogly-Eyed!
WANG- Yes, of course, Great Reader.
KIM- Sees here? Says here JihadGene called his elder Sister a JACKASS way brack in 1960...And it fur-der states that JihadGene got his stupid mouf washed out (by Sister) with Ivory bar of soap for it!
Hmmmmm...this good stuff.
WANG- So? What is so great about that, Great One?
KIM- So's what is so great about that?! This is good Intel! I'm can use it agrainst JihadGene to torture him with and hold over his head for all his adult-wife (life) should him ever double-kloss Great Reader, when channeling me.
WANG- Really, Sir?
KIM- HELL YES, WHEELIE -SIR!!! Look.... Says here JihadGene was so dramatized, after the mouse-washing (mouth washing) that he shudders at the very sight of a bar of soap! Him no can go down soapy aisle of local Piggree-Wiggree without breaking out in a bold-sweat!
WANG- But. How. Sir. Can we use this when we are here in Most Glorious Arm-Pit of the World (NORKO) and JihadGene is in beautiful (booty full) California (Koweefornia)?
KIM- Tree words.
WANG- Three words, Sir?
KIM- Read my whips....IN...TOE...NET.
WANG- Internet, Sir?
KIM- Glawd Damn! No wunder you ownree be a 7 Star General in Glorious Starving People's Army. I'm haves to ex-prain everything to you. Okray...so listen up...
You wistening?
WANG- Yes Sir. I'm listening.
KIM- Now hears the deal...him scared of bad talk in front of elder Sister..co-wreck?
WANG-Correct Sir.
KIM- Now what say if KIM Jong Sumbody has E-male addwess of said Elder Sister of JihadGene and nose for a fact that JihadGene does not want her to nose of this BROGG!
WANG- Of blogsite called Great Reader, Great Reader?
KIM- You on it like vomit! So's this Great Anonymuss Reader, let's say, just happens to E-male her and tell her to go to little brudder's brog where him bee posting bad talk.
WANG- I don't know Sir. She's in her 60's and little jihad brother (Gene) is in his 50's. She wouldn't would she?
KIM- She be a womans, General Wang.
WANG- Oh Hell! She would, Sir!
KIM- Eggsackly! And thanks for bad word! I'm E-males her now and we do a test-run of my theory! Now you says bad words and tell big lies, General Wang! I nose women! Tell bold faced lies and say bad talk. JihadGene will suffer for this!
WANG- I'll do my best Sir! Here goes... Well our plane had to do a cork-screw type landing in Bosnia
and then we were rushed from the plane away to a safe building so as to avoid all the sniper fire when ....
KIM- Yes...YES! Go on with the BIG LIE....and say bad words!!!!...
WANG- When...when... when that chicken-shit-prick named SinBad apparently CRAPPED his pants ...turned into a Mr. Puddin-Panties and went F*CKIN blind!
KIM- Go on! You're on a LOL (ROLL)...
WANG- Oh F*CK...let me catch my breath.
KIM- BEAUTIFUL!!! Keep it up!
WANG- Well those military types... all-F*CKIN-around me...didn't know what to do and they freeked when the snipers began poppin-caps at our ASSES, which were out in the open. It was one big CLUSTER-F*CK, I tell ya! Then the enemy, disguised as T.S.A., came running at us with lit fuses and bombs in their shoes. My "usual positive view" of the US Army changed that day.What a bunch of PUSSY'S! THEY F*CKIN THREW DOWN THEIR WEAPONS AND RAN!! THOSE C*CK-SUCKERS RAN!!!
KIM- Yes! YES!!! What did you do?
WANG- Well, I was the FIRST LADY back then, but still, just an average-everyday work-a-day Mom and proud American...so...I picked up a machinegun . The weapon was jammed, but using a bobby-pin, and after completely ruining a macure, I cleared the weapon, an M-2, .50 cal. heavy machinegun, then I began firing it from myslender waistline . I quickly suppressed the sniper fire, killing 16 of those dumb-f*cks. Well, then I figured I'd better call Chelsea, and tell her Mummy loves her, and that Mummy might be delayed a bit whilst I similtaneously mowed down the human waves of fake TSA suicide shoe-bombers. All of which during I gave life-saving CPR to that HORN-DAWG SINBAD! The F*CKER was F*UCKIN faking it! He! FRENCHED! Me!..... Ewwwwwwwww...
KIM- Now we only need that key word for JihadGene's Sister to see. Go on General Wang what does HILL-REE CLINTON think of BILL?
WANG- He's a JACKASS I tell ya!
A.BIG. F*CKIN.JACK.ASS!....
How was that Great Reader?
KIM- Very good. Now go get me some Johnny-WOKER Brack and for Buddah's sake, don't floorget the ice!
WANG- (mumbling... jackass)
KIM- You say something, Wang?
WANG- Johnny with ice! Coming right up.
KIM- Good (fruckin Jackass General).
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
KIM JONG IL LAUNCHES "Operation Julia Child" by JihadGene
**OPERATION JULIA CHILD**
**Great Reader's PLAN OF ATTACK!!!**
Location- Twin Citys, Mini-soda, USA
Time- 3:oo AM (Hillary Time)
Date- Maybee man-ya-na, I'm don't know.
SLUMMARY- I'm had it with heathen Viking State of Minnie-DeSoto, and in partickular, the city of Twin Citys! Why you axed? Well, it seems some war veterans (I calls 'em hero's) were to talk to da High School kids, but that got squashed. That's right. Squashed! I'm fround out about it over at one of my old trolling grounds... one of the best Mil-Broggers Ev'a! That be at the blackfive.net (I'm calls them BRACKFIVE, that be Korea talk). Go to dat link for in-depth details and such. Letz see, where's wuz I...Oh yeah...THOSE TWIN CITY BLASTARDS HAVE PLISSED OFF (the very nice) Great Reader FORS THE LAST TIME! I'm be tawkin real hero's here, no Punk Ass John KERRY Swiff-Bloats, no HILL-REE dodging sniper bullets in some Yugo auto making country! Me tawking real All-American HEROS!!! So where's I'm be gowing with this? Grood question...Here's where...I'm, as of now, ohfishally opening the "PanDora's-the-Explorer's-Box"...Yes, I had this saved for those Souf Korean losers butt this plan is versit-tile, and can be used here with Gawd-Awful Destruction. So here it is.... "I lay 'em as I play 'em"...
OPRAH-ATION JULIA CHILD!!!
Commencing at precisely around or about apploximately 0300 hrs AM&FM (Stupid SF 49'ers Time) I'm sending the following Leaders of JihadGene's home state ( Koweefornia) into the fray:
Letz face it, even High School students are children. So for that reason I start off with a Soup-preme choice of a leader for "THE CHILDRENS ARMY"! Radys and Gentlesmen, I'm give you "GrandMa General" Nancy Pelosi (D)!
Next, we needs a Chinese Pubrick Relations Officer. Why, yoo dare axed me? Beclaws of all the Glawd Damn WAL-MART's poping up everywheres, of course! So's for this delicate mission I'm ass-signs one great Plate-Ree-Ott of S.F. ... she's a full Give-her-the-bird- Colonel, Senator DiAnn Feinstein (D)! This is, as I'm say, a delicate position. Now Di-Fi, what with her husband's extreme interest (financial investments) in the China-ease peoples...well... it's a match made in Pay-King!
Now, abrove all, we must take into consideration the GENE-OGG-RAPHY (same-same terrain) of this MinnySotas place. MiddySoda is chalk full of lakes! Muss be 6 or 7 of those! So's I slubmitt to you the SUBMARINE-RACE-BAITER Cloemannder of all time
The Commadoor's herself... CongressWoman MAXINE "The CIA be sellin crack in South Central" WATERS (D).
Okray...so's in the Maverwick Spirit of Senator John McLAME....I'm gives yoo peoples "THE BI-PARTISAN R.I.N.O. (repubrickan in name ownree) BRIGADE"! And who betta to fill it with than Governator ARNOLD SWARTSandEGGER!!!
(last name's a real mammer-jammer)
So people, SADDLE-UP! Cuzz THE BRUDDER-LUV BUS and TRAVELI'N SELLI'N-THE-NATION SHOW is abrout to leave the Peoples Repubrick of BERKELEY!
To you left-leaning, wall-eyed, bottom-feeding peoples of the TWIN SHITTIES ...I'm leave you own-ree with this BATTLE CRY frum our own expired JULIA CHILD....
..."YOUR GOOSE IS SO F*CKING COOKED"!!!
God Spleed, my troops, and may Comrade JULIA CHILD be an insplurration to us all!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
*I'm warn you Twin Cities MUSKIE's/NORTHERN (my a$$) PIKE!
Per my odors, you're all floaters!
Monday, March 24, 2008
IT'S THREE A.M. AND KIM JONG IL'S PHONE RINGS by JihadGene
(PHONE)....BLING-BLING! BLING-BLING!
KIM- General WANG! Answer the flucking phone, for Kwyst (Christ) sake!
WANG- Here your most Sleepy One! It's some "more-than-middle-aged" female on the line.
KIM- Yes, I'm been expecting this call!....
Great Reader here!
CALLER-Blah-blah-blah.
KIM- Yes, I'm was thinking yoo's would call. But furst, is dis a secure line? I'm mean... what wiff
Plate-ree-ot Act and all...we must be as discreet as a gay hotline 900 number caller to a Mr John Smith Ahmadinejad, in Tehran! I'm no want Water-Boarder Patrol or "The Stupid Asses" (TSA) bustin our chops!
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah. I own them. Blah-blah-blah.
KIM-George DoubleWoo Bloosh is buzy doin what?
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah.
KIM- BWAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
WANG- What, Great Reader? George W. Bush, is doing what?!
KIM- Him dancing on WhiteHouse steps while him patient-ree waiting for arrival of
Senator John McLame!
KIM & WANG- BWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha!!!
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah.
KIM- Yes, the worm has certin-wee turned!
CALLER- So.... Blah-blah-blah?
KIM- Suicide no good. You use beefour, looks sub-spicious !
CALLER- How about blah-blah-blah?
KIM-Him cums up missing...Okray, I'm good wiff that.
CALLER- What do I...blah-blah-blah?
KIM- You need a good chains-saw, first off! I'd get a "STIHL", as all the "Sears Craftsman" chains-saws SUCK! Where's was I......oh yeah...then necks yoo need a 100 litre, empty heavy-duty prasstick barrel, weecyclable (of clourse), and letz see...him a kinda chunky victim/former supporter... sporting a stupid ass goat-tee...so...maybee ownly you kneeds 50 litres of a good "all purpose body-eating acid".
CALLER- How about blah-blah-blah?
KIM- Yeah... "Diet Coke" will work fine.
CALLER- Thanks ever so blah-blah-blah!
KIM- Por nada. Say hi to Bill for me.
CALLER- He's blah-blah-blah.
KIM- Oh, him working late in the office again...I see.
(stupid britch)
Well grood night and adios mi amiga!
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah. Buh-bye, Great Reader!
(KIM hangs up phone)
KIM- Man, that dude's days are numbered, General Wang. Ya knows, I may just have a shot at becrumming the Governor of Nuevo Mexico!
WANG- Cool! What is the name of the capitol city of New Mexico, Great One?
KIM- I'm pretty sures it's either Taco Bell or Speedy Gonzalez.
WANG- I'm outta here.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
EASTER IN IRAQ by JihadGene
Meanwhile somewheres over IRAQ-
GUNSLINGER SIX- Damn Sir! Great to have you on-board my gunship! Er...sorry about the cursing, Chaplain. It's just great to have you aboard on this Easter Sunday and all.
CHAPLAIN- No sweat, Six.
*Radio Traffic*
*Gunslinger Six this is Eye in the Sky. We have four Tangos (terrorists) in the open at your 12 o'clock, range 300 meters!*
GUNSLINGER SIX- It's okay if ya want to turn your head. I'll understand, Chaplin.
CHAPLAIN- Only if it will give me a better view!
There they are!!! Pour heaping hot-coals on their heads and through their sorry asses!!!
Friday, March 21, 2008
I BE BROGGING!
KIM- Mudder-Pucker! For da furst time, in mine adult life, I'm proud to be a brogger! Mudder pucker, Obama's Old Lady ain't got shit on me! Now I'm can preach to da masses, same-same as racist dumb-ass, Minister Jerry-my-yASS Wright!
Preeze excluse me if mine command of da Engrish language frucks yoo up...so to speak...butt I'm am being "channeled" through JihadGene who's caucasian-ass is a product of the Kalifornia Pubrick Skool Systum! Mudder puckin spell check ain't his forte, so's to spleek. I'm am hope to entertaining all of yous and make you my blogg slaves! Life is good whether you rikes it or not. I'm a Big Dick-Tater and no have time for boo-shit! If you have question for Great Reader, then pleeze axed me. I'm no kill you (in most cases). If yoos don't like it you can blame somebody named Erica's Blog over at Erica's Blog. Thanks a hoe lot Ericklaw! Now I'm got headache and wockets .
I'm KIM JONG IL and I'm proof of this messag-ie!
Ruv Yoo Looong Time,
Great Reader, KIM Jong Il
Pyongyang, DPRK 90210
C/O JihadGene
Central Koweefornia, USA U812
***ATRENTTION***
GREAT READER KIM Jong IL has gloriously fired 1st salvo at mudder-less, bottom-feeding, left-leaning, bait-sucking, Musskie's of Loser-Viking's TWIN SHITTIES! Operlation
JULIA CHILD is huge Suck-cess!!!!
Our Battle Cry (now hear this you Larry Craig bathroom stall toe-tapper's) is
YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED...LOOONG TIME!!!
KIM Jong IL *note* ...She no say LOOONG TIME. But she gone to happy-mountain (Koreans speek for, she same-same croaked)
PER MY ODORS YOU'RE ALL FLOATER'S!!!
God Blest all of mine Wunnerful tloops and long live (she dead now) Comrade JULIA CHILD!
That's all folks!
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
DPRK 90210
P.M.S. Go to BRACKFIVE and see YOO TLUBE Video of "Vets for Freedom Tour". See article "The show too dangerous for High Schoolers".
RYLT! (is Ruv Yoo Looong Time)