KIM Jong IL Declares War

Meanwhile somewhere north of the DMZ, north of the Imjin River, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader,
KIM Jong IL stunned by the latest news...

KIM: General Wang!!!

WANG: Right here, Sir! What's wrong?!

KIM: Look at cumpooter screen! Look what the Matt's Dludge Leeport says!!! Those heathen-bastard so-called christian pastors are burning KOREANS!!! I'm will knotts tolerate this! I'm will make thems all pay LOOONG time for this!!! They will feel a suffering-succotash pweeviously unknown to manskind! Fuel the Don Ho derux model ICBM&M's!!! Pweepare for launching of a "full-broan" wocket attack!!!

WANG: Sir, those pastors are burning KORANS. Not... KOREANS. No need for a full blown attack, Sir.

KIM: Wheelie?

WANG: Really, Sir.

KIM: Stand down.

WANG: 10-4.

*Hat-tip to Chuck Ziegenfuss for the inspiration!