Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Love American vs Korean Style #21

 A recap of how we got to this latest installment of "Love American vs Korean Style":

In Part 1- I met the girl I would marry. Her name is Kim and RUV is in the air!!!
In Part 2- Spent all my money on a MASTER PLAN to set up a birthday party that would put me with Kim.
In Part 3- Stupid master plan FAILS!Kim gets puked on by drunk Birthday Boy. Kim leaves. I am miserable.
In Part 4- Korean Grandmothers (Shaman) take pity on me. We Kamikaze in a taxi to Kim's. Grandma's sitting on my lap crushing my huevos. I may never have children.
In Part 5- I survive the taxi ride. The Grandmothers tell me they will fix all. I must return to base. I can't beat the midnight curfew but I damn sure try.
In Part 6- Suicide ride on a bus bumper. Crash. Injuries and more. Concussion too! Police chase! Escape & Evade!
In Part 7- Climb a telephone pole. Steal a bike with one wheel. Make my Great Escape!
In Part 8- Ride bike into a Banjo-Ditch (sewage). Another concussion and a laceration on the forehead. I crawl out and am captured by the ROK Army, then returned to base.
In Part 9- Got stitches/medical treatment at 0130 hours. Later that AM, a meeting with Military Police 1SG Black Thunder Johnson. Made an Ambassador to South Korea. Run to Motor Pool for a jeep.
In Part 10- Bicycle recovered. I fall into the banjo ditch. 1SG YOON/1SG Johnson/Me and the Korean Grandfather have a Pow-wow. Intercultural relations rebuilt! Valuable lessons learned.
In Part 11- The First Sergeants have a meeting. I am cleaned up at a ROK Army wash point. We go to Kim's. I am OBAMA, to the Korean OPRAH's (Grandmothers). I SEE KIM! We are returning to base.
In Part 12- I return to Camp with the First Sergeant's, jeep, and bicycle. My squad members, the house boys, and I/we all ponder MY fate. We break for chow (lunch). I opt for a nap and am awoken by my Squad leader SSG OLY. Intro to Staff Sergeant Oly (The Big "O") and the infamous Three Beeps! Time has come...I head for the orderly room.
In Part 13- I report to the orderly room. My fate is suspended until the next day when I must report back to the First Sergeant with my Squad Leader. I am re-directed to the unit supply room and meet Sergeant James Wheeler.
In Part 14- Learn about ambassadorship, love of life, Korean orphanages, and about giving from the US Army's Santa Claus, Sergeant Jimmy Wheeler.
In Part 15- I was to meet my fate. But what was it? I was reassigned and given a "Special Assignment". But what was it? I didn't know.
In Part 16- My "Special Assignment" was to ride shotgun on the trash truck going through our Army base. I banged my head on the truck's handrail and limply fell to the ground. With Kotex applied to my forehead I was taken to the Evac Hospital and returned to my unit. I am a cross between Elvis, Audie Murphy, Evel Knievel, Sad Sack, Ralph Kramden, and a crash test dummy.
In Part 17- I meet with The Iron Empress of Korea and her man, Huey P. LeDew of Houma, Louisiana. A date with my KIM...the love of my life, is arranged.
In Part 18- I wait at the main gate to meet Kim and the LeDew's to taxi over to some park on our 1st date. I worry. Taxi is late, I think. What the heck happened to her?

In Part 19- I have my 1st date with the lovely Kim at Sung-gee Park, Pusan, S. Korea on April Fools Day 1975. I learn what "I GOO" is all about. I AM THE APRIL FOOL.
In Part 20- The lovely Kim brings me something in a package. I am an MP on duty at Depot Gate in Pusan, S. Korea and I'm in RUV! 

And now..for your Christmas 2012 pleasure... Part 21 of "Love American vs Korean Style"...

                                        THE PACKAGE AND THE PROPOSAL

While performing my Military Police duties, I just happened to look up at a robin's egg blue little Hyundai taxi, like so many hundreds of others buzzing around Pusan in 1975. The taxi stopped just outside the front gate of the US Army Depot, where I was posted. It was a beautiful, clear and crisp day...that ruvly April early-afternoon day, in Korea. Call it hormonal ESP... or what-the-heck ever...but I was "Carnac the Magnificent" when it came to RUV and pretty girls. My Carnac powers had me focus upon who was stepping out of the taxi while a Goldstar three and one half transistor radio played Paul Anka singing "Having my baby". The girl of my someday LOOONG time dreams stepped out of the taxi wearing a gorgeous polka dot dress...at least I think it had polka dots. That, or my eyes were seeing spots, do to the blood flowing down and out of my brain, to somewhere below the front of my pistol belt (if you 'get my drift' and understand how the mind of a 20 year old soldier thinks). So anyways, the lovely Kim steps out of the taxi and pays the driver. She looks up at me and smiles just as a jeep (an M151 A1) runs over the highly shined right toe of my US Army jump boot! Kim sees me get my foot runned over and a look of "I GOO" and some legitimate concern (mixed with suppressed laughter) crosses her beautiful face. It is then that I see the package in her hand! She asks my Korean MP partner at the gate, a KATUSA, if I'm alright. He assures her that shit like this happens to M.P. COOKIE (my last name is Cook) all the time and LOOONG time!!! I hand back the smiling jeep driver his vehicle dispatch paperwork. Well...after I've first issued him a stern warning about not running over an MP's highly shined footwear, anyway. Whatever... I wave the driver on and I limp over to Kim and the KATUSA MP, a Corporal named NO, Hee Yung. Corporal NO tells me that the lovely Kim has brought us some home-made kimbap. I am grinning from ear to ear, while my eyes and other parts of my body, are popping out at her beauty. My foot throbs, as does the O.D. green colored crotch-area below the front of my US Army pistol belt. I am in RUV! It is right then and right there, and only 2 weeks after I first dated this girl, that I have decided to propose marriage to the very lovely Miss Kim! While my Korean MP partner, Corporal NO, wolfs down all the delicious kimpap, I start off with my proposal of marriage to Kim. I try to concentrate while the AFKN radio station is playing Paul Anka. I'm horny as hell! I'm nervous as hell!! I stutter... I mumble... as the lovely Kim stares at my mangled boot then gives me a sympathetic sweet smile. For great God's and Buddha's sake, I'm choking up! Me! You know???... ME?!...The guy with the big mouth! The same guy who now is shaking and can barely breathe...let alone talk! Hell, I can't talk! The song "Having my Baby" plays in the background. I panic! Kim's waiting! I'm sweating and it's only 64 degrees out! Finally... I propose...well, sort of. I say to her "Will you have my baby?" Yeah... no shit. That's what I said. Kim looked shocked! Her eyes were huge! She turned on her heel, jumped into that blue taxi, and left me quicker than a Klingon has his ass kicked by Captain Kirk on Star Trek! The taxi was doing frickin' warp speed and taking the lovely Kim out of my heathen galaxy... forever! I was devastated! Like Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire, I was limping as quick as I humanly could after that taxi! I was out of my mind! And I was yelling...yelling, "Hey Stella"!  I was devastated and almost made a hood ornament out of on the grill of a Korea Greyhound... A curse upon Paul Anka and his stupid song! Corporal NO swiftly pulled me out of traffic and returned me to my post on the gate. I cried. Cpl NO ate my kimpap and said, "You RUV her LOOONG time, huh Cookie?"  "Yes. Very LOONG time", I replied. "I'm helps you. Here, have some kimpap, Cook'shee. It's very much delicious good", he said.                                                     (To be continued)

*A note from Gene: I have this stuff highlighted but can't easily figure out how to unhighlight it. Oh well...Merry Christmas all! Please keep our US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers very LOOONG time!!! Remember what Christmas is all about. A gift from God. Jesus.The best gift of all! Merry Christmas and God bless you. -JihadGene (AKA: Gene Cook)         

Sunday, December 23, 2012

DPRK Outraged by New Christmas Album

Meanwhile, back in North Korea...all the buzz is about a new Christmas album! Have a merry Christmas very LOOONG time and keep our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers!!! -The JihadGene Family of Norf Koweefornia

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

DPRK Rockets Out of Economic Depression

Meanwhile...we join Great New Reader, KIM Jong Un at Norf Korea's Sohae Satellite Launching Station and Battery Factory#3, as he observes the launch of a Galaxy-3 rocket, called the Unha-3 with General Wang and company...

KIM: Wowsers LOOONG time!!! Look at dat mudder-pucker go, General Wang!

WANG: It brings a tear to my eye, Great New Reader, Sir!

KIM: Yes! Is booty-full LOOONG time!!! It sure is good I'm stepped up battery producksion before President Obama's re-erection to help pay floor all of this good stuff!

WANG: You mean to tell me, Sir, this has been paid for through the increased sales and exportation of our batteries, Sir?

KIM: Absowootly, General Wang!

WANG: What kind of batteries do we produce that could possibly pay for all of this technology, Great Un?

KIM: Replacement batteries for the "Obama Bullshit Decoder Ring", of course! Sales are off of hook LOOONG time!!! I'm witch (Koreanese for rich)! Merry Crittmuss, General Wang!

WANG: And a very merry Christmas to you, Great New Reader. Merry Christmas LOOONG time, Sir!!!

Remembering a Friend a Soldier

I fly the flag today for my buddy 'Bert' and the 101st Airborne. Died 12 Dec 1985, Gander, Newfoundland. Matthew 5:9 says "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God." HOOAH, Bert! FIDO.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Love American vs Korean Style #20

Admittedly, some... and at times much of this, is B.S. sprinkled with a Mitt Romney 47% of truth.If you are new here please go back to read some of the earlier parts of this G.I.'s tale of love at first sight. This is me, JihadGene, as an old guy taking a look back at himself...and love...and raffing out roud! I can't help but come off sounding like Steinbeck writing about Cannery Row, as I write about Korea. South Korea in 1975 was a smell, a sound, a morning calm, and a strange sight to this (then) 20 year old Californian. Looking back gives me great happiness and brings it all back again. It's a joy and a happiness that surrounds me, and reminds me of what is important in life...and what really does matter. I hope it comes across, in that way, for you. God has been very good to me. 

 (for Jean K. of Midland, Michigan)

So there I was... a handsome (though undoubtedly I was throughly much better-looking than just the word "handsome") and young, a 20 year old US Army Military Policeman stationed in Pusan, South Korea. I was an M.P. in  a company apparently named after a tuna...I was in Charlie Company. Where was I? Oh, yeah! It was approximately 2 weeks after my very first official and "fully escorted" first date, back on April Fool's Day, with the lovely Kim so it was around the 16th of April 1975 when I sort of proposed holy-cow matrimony to this beautiful girl with the dimples.  Now, before I tell you how I did this...that is, propose marriage, you must remember it was love in the 1st degree and the lovely Miss Kim's Korean mojo was very strong. I was spinning like an Obama voter on Black Friday at Walmart! It was a fast & furious love, LOOONG time!!! A love of pain, pain, more pain, humiliation, of more pain and a whole bunch of raffing (Koreanese for laughing) out roud (loud)! Personally, I think it was bigger than "Love Story"... but unlike Love Story, I did have to say that I was sorry. Sorry very LOOONG time!!! You see, it was love at 1st sight for me and I wasn't in the right frame of mind...not that I ever have been but...like I said...it was love at first sight, on my end. On HER end...??? Hell! Who knows? My eyes were focused on her end! If ya get my drift, dear reader. After all the ruvly "girl of my dreams" is a girl...and for us guys, girls are impossible to understand. It's just a well-known "Man Made Fact" or  (in the soldier's world)  a real MF'er of an obstacle. As soldiers, we had what we called FM's or "Field Manuals". Field manuals gave you useful information on Army stuff like "Blowing the Enemy the Hell Up" and like "Not Getting Yourself Blown the Hell Up"...or on "How to Dig an Army Slit Trench" to poop in. Useful stuff, ya know? Useful stuff indeed. Sweet! But in this case, we soldiers had no FM's or "Female Manuals" that told you how to do things right...like "Get to 1st Base with a Cute Korean Girl" or guidelines on PMP's  ("Proper Marriage Proposals). The Army had acronyms for everything. Typical Army Speak was like... "Alright men, being as I'm the NCOIC (Non Commissioned Officer In Charge) and the OIC (Officer In Charge) has a case of HUB (Head Up Butt) and has gotten this mission all kinds of FUBAR'd (F'd Up Beyond All Recognition) we will CM (Charlie Mike...Continue the Mission), then complete our mission, have weapons cleaned, gear stored,  all by COB (Close of Business) or  OBT (Oh Beer Thirty). Whichever comes first.  FIDO ('F' It and Drive On), people! Now move out and draw fire!"  Yeah, that's pretty much Army speak, as I recall it. Anyway, being as my intended target of LOOONG time affection was a girl...and a Korean one at that, this made it all-the-more interesting and highly challenging! Besides...I was a guy. Yes, I was a guy and a single G.I. at that! I was a soldier on a mission! A mission of hormonally-heartfelt and manically-motivated love! I was a kid in O.D. green! A regular army RUV-U-LOOONG time loving machine, was I!!! Of this, I humbly assure you, dear readers....I was hawt very LOOONG time!!! Now, where was I? Oh yeah! So.... putting on the "Full Armor of RUV", as a young MP in the Garden Spot (or Kimchi Pot) of Pusan, South Korea,  I was fully and completely equipped by the numbers. First off... I had my MP "Helmet of Salvation" helmet liner, to carry around my love-sick lame brain in. Secondly...I had my "Sword of Truth". It came in the form of an M-1911A1, Colt .45 semi automatic pistol, issued for MP duty from my unit arms room. I  also wore the "Shield of Fate" in the form of an M.P. brassard. My fate was to someday, somehow, get the lovely Kim to marry me! On duty I wore the "Pistol Belt of Truth, Justice, and  Horny American Ways"! It didn't matter to me as to whether or not the girl-of-my-schemes was "in season" or not, because I was 20 years old and there was only one season for me...it was RUV season! RUV-RUV-RUV! Man, I either need a cold shower right about now or a cigarette as I type this stuff out! Now, where was I? Oh yeah...with my loins girded like a Joe Biden with a new batch of hair plugs, and my far less than a six-pack of abs covered in US Army O.D. green rice-starched fatigues, topped off with highly houseboy-shined Corcoran jump boots, complete with white parachute cord (for laces)...I was good rooking! Dear readers, I was totally bling'd out "Camp Hialeah Style"! Well...it was a cool, clear, sunshiny afternoon in mid April 1975 it was, that I was preforming my duties at  Depot Gate. Duties such as checking vehicles in and out of the compound, checking I.D.'s, and making sure that no 2nd Lieutenant goes un-saluted! In the guardhouse/gate-shack a Korean made "Nobility" transistor radio was softly playing  Paul Anka's song "Having my Baby" on AFKN (Armed Forces Korea Network). It was right about then that a robin's egg blue colored taxi pulled up to the front of the gate and low and LOOONG time behold the lovely Kim stepped out! She was even more beautiful than on April Fool's Day! My eyes popped out! My tongue popped out! Other parts of me almost popped out! Though my heart and body was "locked and loaded" I tried to play it cool. She smiled. I smiled while doing double-back flips that Mary Lou Retton would be proud of! While trying to play it cool, I saw she was standing there with something in her hand. She smiled. It was a small package. Could it be? COULD IT POSSIBLY BE!!!??? It was! It was! It was...      
                     (to be continued on Christmas... because that's when we open packages)

Friday, December 7, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

It's Friday! But not just any Friday...mind you! It's the 71st anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day. God bless all our WWII vets... and all our troops and their families, very LOOONG time!!! It's RED SHIRT FRIDAY...let's dance and have a great weekend everyone!

Monday, November 19, 2012

President Obama on Duty

                                          Meanwhile, on official business in Thailand...
                OBAMA: It's absolutely true! I dance "Gangnam Style" all the time, back home!

Ruv is in the Air

                                                            Meanwhile....in Thailand...
                                               OBAMA: Do I really look like Tiger Woods?!

Friday, November 9, 2012

It's Friday Let's Dance

Friday again? Do you feel it? Do you? Guess what? The US Armed Forces are on the job, regardless who wins or loses the elections, and life goes on. I won some and lost some on election day but through it all, GOD is LOOONG time good!!! Well, being as it's friday and the USMC's birthday is tomorrow, I'll have some Marines do a song for us! BE ADVISED: THIS VIDEO IS NOT KID...OR OFFICE... OR MUSLIM TERRORIST SAFE... AND MAY CAUSE SPORADIC PROTESTING AND THE TAKING OVER OF US EMBASSIES! So...you have been warned. God, richly bless our US Armed Forces, their families, and especially our troops positioned directly in harm's way. God bless them LOOONG time and have a wonderful weekend!!! Amen. Now... let's dance!

Friday, November 2, 2012

NYC Lines Up for Gas

What??? Waiting in gas lines??? You New York City fools should have signed up for some free Obama gas! No waiting...and you just go to the head 'o the line!

It's Friday Let's Dance and Drive

Well, it happened. Not only is it Friday...but my honorable son got his California drivers license yesterday. Today? He drove himself to high school. Pray for us parents of new drivers and pray for him...the curbs, sidewalks, and pedestrians too! As this most awesome 1959 song goes, may we all "step steady on the gas clutch" LOOONG time!!! While we're praying, make sure you keep our brave and most honorable US Armed Forces, their families, and those caught up in hurricane Sandy, in your prayers! So...because it's Friday...let's dance like flying wockets! God bless you all and have a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Obama B.S. Decoder Ring Update

ATTENTION...all owners of the official "Obama B.S. Decoder Ring"! We have recently received many complaints regarding an extremely short battery life. Our technicians in China assure us this is only a temporary anomaly, primarily due to it being an election year and the terror attack at Benghazi. That is all.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Romper Room and Libya

MISS BARBARA: Welcome to Romper Room, kids! I'm Miss Barbara and I'm going to use my Magic Mirror to see some of our viewers. Let's see...hmmm...I see two lying a$$holes named Barry and Joe. Ooops! Sorry kids, I must have this thing focused in on the White House.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Holy Crappy Anniversary!

It was a rough wedding anniversary for the Dynamic Duo on Tuesday! 1st it started raining, in our store, Fashion Thug! But to get to Fashion Thug, we first had to drive down our dirt road, now known as Mud Avenue, to get onto the hardtop...due to road expansion in front of our bat cave. Holy bat crap! Next, that morning, we were told that the stupid Chicago Title Company screwed up the paperwork AGAIN so we are still waiting to be paid for our land and 90 feet of block wall the city took over and demolished in order to turn our street into it's current holy mud hole condition. This is all in the name of road expansion for 4 lanes of traffic, a center divider-island, sidewalks, and gutters. Oh well. Next on my holy anniversary "to do" list, I picked up some flowers I had "special ordered" for my ruvly Bat Wife. You know, the ones that I put in a special request for last freeking Wednesday?! I was sooo proud of myself because I was thinking ahead! Way to go, JG! So very proud too, of my bad bat-self, for coming up with the perfect flowers for her! Flowers with all kinds of colored roses! Well...what started out as a great idea...ended up looking like a KIM Jong IL born-again Easter Sunday flower bouquet for the Dear Leader's casket! Holy bat DAMN! I ended up with only 3 stinking red roses in a gawd  LOOONG time awful wild 'n wacky $91 floral arrangement! Well, finally evening comes and we two LOOONG time love birds (or love bats) were in a wonderful Italian restaurant when right before our food arrives...we receive a phone call from the bat girls (employees) at Fashion Thug. It seems that four heathen Fashion Thug wanna be shoppers grabbed a bunch of merchandise and decided to run out without paying. Oh well, it certainly was a memorable 37th anniversary...LOOONG time!!! It'll be better next year. Regardless of the bat guano, it will be better! Anyways, God bless you all and our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families! May all your anniversaries be happy...not crappy!    JG & The Ruvly KIM ;)    

Friday, October 19, 2012

It's Friday Let's Dance

Today's "It's Friday Let's Dance" dance song..."Having My Baby", by Paul Anka...darn near undid all the heavy groundwork I did to get to second base with my wife, the ruvly Kim! I can't stand this song because of that! Hate it! You see, I went on a 1st date with her on April Fools Day 1975 and I was headed for 2nd base, when "all of a sudden" my GI hormones kicked in and instead of 2nd base, why hell... I jumped out of the ball park and commenced (in my "military mind") streaking the freeking bleachers! Meaning...I was heading for the "home run"! Suddenly I began my very nervous version of a very impromptu marriage proposal! This was ONLY 2 weeks after I our very 1st date! Hoe-Ree-Cow, LOOONG time!!! Anyway, our 37th wedding anniversary is coming up, and for it I have written another installment of "Love American vs Korean Style". Stay tuned...and speaking of staying tuned, be sure to keep our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, Coasties and their families in your prayers, very LOOONG time!!! God bless you all and have a wonderful weekend. JihadGene...out.  

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dogs Kids and Prayer

Our dog, the West Highland White Terrorist..."Booger Butt"...is getting old. She's 12 now. Pictured above is her, about 8 years ago, with a pair of my son's underwear stuck on her head. Don't ask...as it's still a mystery to us all. Anyways...she has a heart murmur...her liver is shutting down...she refused to eat for 5 or 6 days, and as recently as 4 days ago I was ready to dig her a grave. My ruvly wife prayed over Booger Butt, that Booger Butt would "go" peacefully. But do you think that rotten Westie of ours would listen??? Heck NO! Lately she has started eating again, is up, and walking around. Hmmm? Maybe she's gonna hang around with us awhile looonger time, I don't know. But now, let me inject this observation of mine...if you will.  Well, it seems that this past summer our 12 year old niece from Korea (her name is CoCo) visited us with her 13 year old brother. The kids had a blast and CoCo loved Booger Butt very much! Booger Butt loved being petted and spoiled by CoCo. Anyways, about 5 days ago, my ruvly wife told CoCo about the dog maybe dying soon and CoCo insisted that Booger Butt could not die now and she began praying for her. It was probably about within 8 hours after CoCo started praying, that that dog of ours was eating! 3 days later Booger Butt was no longer just laying around...waiting for one of us to pick her up. No Sir! Booger is up and down the stairs, and looking better each and every day. Did God answer the prayers of that 12 year old girl back in South Korea? At this writing, all I can do is smile. Smile and give thanks to a God that answers the prayers of little girls far away. Thank you, Lord. LOOONG time!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

It's Friday Let's Dance

Friday...finally! Tough week? It has been a week of MALARKEY, here in the California JihadGene Family. Booger Butt, our West Highland White Terrorist-Terrier, is fading away...health-wise. We have decided to make her as comfortable as possible. It's tough...but it's life. We finally got some California rain yesterday (a Norf Korean cloudburst, really) and the roof in our clothing store, I call it "Fashion Thug", leaked LOOONG time!!! Our roof is scheduled to be replaced BEFORE the rains come but that's a "tad" too late now. I quickly got buckets under the leaks and collected no less than 8 gallons of water! I looked like a darn sailor, swabbing the deck! Oh well... maybe now the owner of our building will do something about this problem he's known about for months. Jeez. My ruvly wife, the wonderful Mrs JihadGene, is kind of down in the dumps. In addition to all of this MALARKEY, the city is in the middle of replacing our 2 lane road with a divided 4 lane road. Right in front of our lovely home! Got mud? We sure do! The city still hasn't paid us our money for our property or for our expensive block wall they've torn down. It's a MALARKEY MESS! It's a mess...but through it all, God is VERY GOOD to us! Things could be worse, so we count our blessings, of which we have many, and...like troopers...we DRIVE ON! Speaking of troopers, please keep all of our great guys & gals in the US Armed Forces...and their families in your prayers, very LOOONG time!!! May God bless and love, each and everyone, of you. It's Friday! Let's dance!

VP Biden After Debate

Now...listen to me, you bunch of Jack Kennedys! Just because you happen to see a "LazyBoy Recliners on Sale Now" sign in front of the White House, it does not mean that Barack and I are going anywhere! That's a bunch of malarkey!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Joe Biden Debates Today

It's National Coming Out Day and Norf Korea ruvs Joes Biden LOOONG time!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Obama on Special Ops

Here we have a picture of President Barack Whosenamed Obama doing what he does best...SPECIAL OPS. OPS being...Obama Phone Salute. Isn't that special?

Saturday, October 6, 2012

DPRK Defection 187 Style

A North Korean soldier on the DMZ defects. Murders his superiors to keep them from shooting him and makes his 500 meter dash across the DMZ to the south and freedom. See story HERE. North Korea will demand the defector's return. Given the circumstances, will South Korea hand him back over to the north? This could get hairy! Stay tuned. Personally, I think the South Korean song...Gangnam Style... "blain-washed" the North Korean defector LOOONG time!!! Have a great weekend!

Friday, October 5, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Friday already? It sure is. I had a really crappy week. My 12 year old West Highland White Terrorist is very sick. Heart problems. Belly swollen. Trips to the vet...hundreds of dollars spent. Right now she seems somewhat better. I'm taking her back again today. She is the rottenest dog I have ever owned but I really love her LOOONG time!!! Please keep our US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers....and while you're at it...we could use some prayers too. What's heaven like, you ask? I can answer that. It's a beautiful place where there is dancing, soldiers, and dogs. God bless you all.  

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Obama Wins Back Latino Voters

My Gawd, LOOONG time!!! Just when you begin to think things couldn't possibly get any worse...my facebook pal...Maggie G. updated her cover photo with this picture! Obviously, in an effort to win back the "Univision Vote", President Barack Whosenamed Obama has directed the US Border Patrol to begin giving free pony rides to any illegal alien's family who may have suffered the loss of a loved one killed by an assault-rifle provided by the US Government, in the "Fast & Furious" debacle. (Sadly this story is actually believable)-JG

Friday, September 28, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance KIM Jong Style!

Happy Friday LOOONG time, everyone!!! I be dancing solo today as my ruvly wife is South Korean and pretty much burnt out on today's song, Gangnam Style.  Gangnam is the Beveree Hills of Souf Korea. I guess the name of this tune is KIM Jong Style. Whatever. It quacks me up! So being as this is my brog, I'm gonna do's it mine way! LOOONG time!!! I'm still working on my next installment of "Love American vs Korean Style" ...but...due to a long-time busy life... it's slow going. Tomorrow I'll be riding the beast to the Warbirds Air Show in Paso Robles with my neighbor Bob.  Bob rides motorcycles too and is a retired Navy Captain. He started out his naval career flying fighter bombers during the Vietnam War.  We're gonna have fun LOOONG time!!! Bob will be my tour guide of WWII aircraft! How cool is that? I am blessed! Speaking of blessed...please keep praying for our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families! God bless them all LOOONG time!!! Keep 'em in your prayers! Have a great weekend and  let's dance!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Missing My Dad

My Dad, a USMC WWII veteran, looked a lot like Sgt Carter (Frank Sutton). He could bellow just like him or simply stare at "yours truly" in perplexed wonderment. I really was an MP...but in the Army... and all I got to say about that is...SHAZAM...LOOONG time!!!

Friday, September 21, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Here it is..a Friday...already??? Geez! I'm still working on "Love American vs Korean Style" #21 or #22...it's slow going...but I will get it done. We hope things are good out your way! I can't help but wonder how they are out in Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan's ways! The Chinese smell American weakness LOONG time!!! Frickin Iran! God, help the people of Israel. More reasons to pray, I know. So many need our prayers of love and support. But hang in there, people...because the sun is gonna shine tomorrow! Pray good for someone, be it a faceboook friend...a neighbor...for someone doing the best they can...for anyone you think may need it. Pray! Encourage them! Love and lift 'em up! Be sure to keep, at the top of your prayer list, those brave men and women of our great US Armed Forces! Keep them and their families in your prayers! Good begets good! In an attempt to appease the Red Army, I will play their latest music video, and we can all dance rings around those assholes! Ooops...sorry, Lord. It's Friday...so let's dance!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Happy Birthday US Air Force

Meanwhile, at an Air Force Base near you...

COLONEL: Sir, on behalf of the US Air Force, I want to thank you for attending our 65th Birthday Party ceremonies! Do you have any questions for me before we inspect the troops?

CLINTON: Yes, I do. Is it true the US Air Force has some of the hawtest lookin' females of all the armed services?

COLONEL: Very true, Sir.  Why do you think George W. Bush was in the Air Force?

CLINTON: Why... that old hound dawg! Man, I knew I should a joined up! Well...I guess that answers one thing...

COLONEL: Answers what, Sir?

CLINTON: Why Hillary couldn't get into the Army. Hell, even they wouldn't take her! (lol)

COLONEL: BWAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Obama at the Movies


Friday, September 14, 2012

It's Friday Let's Slow Dance

Things going on all over the world, I know. It's bad. It's bad but don't let the bad consume you. What's inside of you? We hope it's love. It's time to change the pace and not get all wound up. It's Friday, folks. As my wife, the ruvly Kim and I dance to this tune, may your heart be at peace. Bad things happpen. That's life...and in life...there is good as well. You don't have to look far to find it. God bless you all. Please pray for our wonderful US Armed Forces and our men and women in plain clothes, in unfriendly places. Keep all of them and their families in your prayers! We are praying for a better week and keeping the faith out here. Have love in your heart. There's nothing better! I promise, LOOONG time!!! Have a great weekend. (JG & Family)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Attention Lovers of Jihad!

                                                  For 9-11, you PUNKS!!!

What Matters

 Matters? What matters? It matters or it doesn't matter. Life, with all of it's twists and turns does matter. This date...9-11-2001 matters. The date, September 11th matters...it's bittersweet...but we make due. It's my son's birthday. We remember 9-11-2001 and his 6th birthday party. It was a rough day but still most of the kids and their parents came for pizza, cake & ice cream, and games. We're Americans, we overcome, and we get back up! No quitters!  We remember 9-11-2011 and give thanks to all who answered the call. A call to arms... or otherwise assist in fighting terrorism. Today, as we celebrate our son's 17th birthday and celebrate the day our son's biological mother in South Korea gave birth to our boy, it matters. What matters? Life! Life matters. Life and love! It's 4AM and I'm the Old Guy who couldn't sleep. So, I'm thinking of our son and trying to thank a lady I've never met. The lady who bore our son. The lady who gave him the gift of life and immediately gave that precious boy away. I thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! With every ounce of my heart...I thank you. Life? Life matters. Life and love. Through it all there is LOVE. Focus on that! We are a great people! We remember...and continue to live our lives as best we can, with what we have, and we are grateful. Look around! There is so very much to be thankful for. So, happy birthday, son...and God bless America! Please keep our troops and their families in your prayers, LOOONG time!!! God bless you all and HOOAH!

(These guys, Madison Rising, are awesome very LOOONG time!!! I saw them recently at the Soldiers' Angels warehouse for the 2012 Milblog Family Reunion in San Antonio, Texas)

Friday, September 7, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Writing isn't always easy for me and I find my talents are best at like 4 or 5 AM. And now??? I'm working on "Love American vs Korean Style " installment #21...or something like that. It's the "mostly true story"about a nervous MP on duty and a proposal of marriage to a beautiful young lady...the ruvly Miss Kim. This was in mid-April 1975, at Depot Gate in Pusan, S. Korea. The day was beautiful, sunny, and springtime-weathery! A perfectly sunny 66 degree day! Well, instead of me spilling my guts here, you'll have to wait for the rest of the story (as Paul Harvey would say). Anyhow, suffice it to say that I proposed marriage and totally botched it! She hopped in a taxi and was gone, in nothing flat. Today's song is pretty much how I felt at that very moment in time. I knew I'd see her again though. She was the girl for me! For me or foe me....LOOONG time!!! So as you listen... and hopefully dance with us... to this old tune...please hold our wonderful US Armed Forces up in prayer, the troops and their families, pray for 'em! Pray hard!  Love isn't easy and the good Lord knows it isn't easy for military families. The marriages that hold together are rock solid and a beautiful thing to witness, as the years go by. God bless them all and all of you! You are awesome very LOOONG time!!! It's Friday! Let's dance! Our RUV to all, JihadGene-Great Reader & Family.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Bill Teaches Obama

Alright, Barry...I didn't mean to take you to the woodshed... but really now...that's how you give a speech! You got that, Son?


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Eastwooding at JihadGene's

Stepped out back to my swimming pool and there they were! From left to right: Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and Michelle Obama. I be Eastwooding LOOONG time!!! JG ;)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Engrish Korean Style

So, I add air to the tires on my wife's new minivan...

ME: Is the "check tire pressure light" off now, Honey?

WIFE: It's gone.

ME: What the??? It's still on?!

WIFE: It's gone.

ME: Jesus H. Obama! I can't believe that stupid damn 

light is still on!

WIFE: Why you getting all mad? Light gone now. 

ME: Wait a minute! Let me get this straight. You said 

the light is GONE now? GONE? G.O.N.E. ...GONE, as in  

NOT fricking ON, now?!

WIFE: That's what I'm said! Gone...like no longer long-

time on. Why you turning red? You mad at me?

ME: Sorry, Dear. It's just the "Engrish" language driving 

me nuts again!

WIFE: Tire plessure good ...now, let's check your blood 


ME: Good idea, LOOONG time!!!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Salute the Flag Sunday!

It's salute the flag Sunday! Let's pray: God bless our brave US Troops and their families Lord, for they are the very best of our country. Keep us free, dear Father. Make us strong where, and when, we have to be, and always focused on your goodness. Thank you, Lord...in Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Have a wonderful Sunday LOOONG time!!!

Friday, August 24, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

So there I was...20 years old...a GI in Pusan, South Korea on April Fool's Day 1975. We were on an escorted date, it was our first date. Escorted by my good friend, PFC Huey P. LeDew of Swamp Cooler, Louisiana and his regal Korean bride, The Iron Empress.  Finally...we slipped away. Away in a crowded park with a bazillion school kids in sailor suit uniforms carrying Perry Mason looking briefcases strapped to their backs. This, the ancient time of 1975, was a time when the Army had rucksacks but backpacks for school kids hadn't been invented. Anyways... I was already in love with my girl, Kim. And her? My RUVLY bride to be LOOONG time was not too impressed with me...that,  I must admit. It was then that I reached into my "Rock-n-LOL" love sick bag-o-tricks and used these lines... "Give me a Break" and "You Can't Judge a Book by it's Cover".  The RUVLY Kim's English was limited. I don't think she understood. I panicked! It was then that I decided to break out in a song and dance routine! One that would make Bo Didley proud!! Proud LOOONG time!!! I did it so well that I got Kim to agree to a second date! Well... she agreed to something, not sure what, but my Korean linguistic skills weren't to honed, if you get my drift... and a yes is a "yes" in my book. My Book of RUV! So...here's to you! Hope your books of RUV are filled with happiness and have room for much more to come! We have been blessed! God bless you all and keep our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers, very LOOONG time!!! It's Friday, sooo...LET'S DANCE!!!

Friday, August 10, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Back in the summer of 1975...back in Pusan, S. Korea....some fellow soldiers (and an older NCO) told me our love wouldn't grow....that Korean girls were for fun...not marriage. Some 37 years later, we're still proving how wrong they were! Wrong, LOOONG time!!! Please keep our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers. Deployed or not. Together or apart. Love and prayers are most powerful! Have a great Friday and let's dance! Slowly...softly...tenderly. God bless you all. -JG & his ruvly Yobo.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Michael Yon or Soldiers' Angels?

Back in the day, I gave Michael Yon money. I thought he was doing good things. Time and again, he has turned into a big disappointment. People do that to you sometimes. Soldiers' Angels has done...and continues to do...good things. Not so with Michael Yon. Click HERE for a link, to get up to speed on this whole Michael Yon vs Soldiers' Angels mess. It's from my favorite milblog, BLACKFIVE. I pray for Yon and Soldiers' Angels. Yon tears down, while Soldiers' Angels actively serves and assists. Both could use some prayers. Please support Soldiers' Angels. Thank you. JG

Speaks for Itself

I'm Gonna be Rich!

To make traffic drive even faster...in front of our lovely imperial palace (we call it home) the city is making our old 2 lane street into a 4 lane. Now, the speeders can go even faster! Oh goody. But I am not disheartened! No weigh Joe's A! Remembering the words of Great New Norf Korean Leader , KIM Jong Un..."When wife gives you women, make women aide."...or something like that....I am given hope with that change. Here's my plan...if the city let's me "go commercial" on my property, I would construct a JihadGene's mini mall! Hmmm? Sounds good to me. Maybe an In-n-Out Burger and , if I can get the right permits,  a "Wockets-r-Us" store! Suhweet,  LOOONG time!!! Hmmm? And to top it all off I need something special...a real "All American Landmark"! I've got it! Got it LOOONG time!!! I'll put in an Elvis drive thru wedding chapel! Not just any run of the mill Elvis Wedding Chapel, mind you! But one that also sells "Chick Fil A"! Oh yes, LOOONG time!!! I'm gonna be rich. Ruv Ya!  JG;)

Friday, July 27, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Sometimes...I think God threw the book at me. The book of RUV! My niece and nephew are visiting us from the R.O.K. and it's a blast having them here. Yesterday it was Kings Canyon & Hume Lake, some Foster's Freeze, and great fun! Today? Work at Fashion Thug and swimming at home. It's all good! Remember our brave troops and their awesome families in your prayers! Have a great weekend LOOONG time...because it's Friday...let's dance!!!!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Obama Considers New Air Force Chief of Staff

President Obama today announced a new candidate as the U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff. Seen in the above video, Gen. Ware Thefockarewee, is piloting a C-17 Globemaster III. When asked about the mistaken location upon landing, the General said, "When we get to the bottom of this, 2nd Lieutenant George Bush's head will roll!"

Friday, July 20, 2012

It's Red Shirt Friday! Let's Dance & Ride!

Friday again? Already??? Wooo-Whooo LOOONG time!!! Time for some biker music! It's a Red Shirt Friday, people! Keep our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families prayed-up LOOONG time!!! Have a wonderful weekend from Great Reader (in the red shirt) and the JihadGene Family! RUV ya very LOOONG time!!! Let's dance & ride!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

KIM Jong Un Inspects Trooops

Seen here, an unidentified (and now deceased) North Korean general has failed Great Reader KIM Jong Un's surprise booger inspection.

Friday, July 13, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Today's dance tune comes straight from the top! No...not the wife...but close. This tune request comes from The Son of Great Reader KIM Jong IL! So here we go, by special request...Johnny's Livers preforming the hit song "Secret Asian Man"! Have a great weekend LOOONG time and keep our most awesome US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers!!! KIM Jong Un odors you! JG ;)

Friday, July 6, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Hope you all had a great week, LOOONG time!!! I'm just plain happy that it's Friday already! Happy... and I just can't seem to turn this smile 'o mine loose! That's a good thing. Don't let stupid things steal your happiness. Look around. There is much good to be found out there! Or maybe...you don't even have to go out to find it...just maybe? Open your eyes. Be thankful for what you've got and (quite possibly) be even more thankful for what you didn't get. God bless all our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families! Pray them up! Here's prayers of happiness for you all. Happy-Up, people! It's Friday! Let's dance and have a Great Reader weekend...LOOONG time!!!  

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th of July

Have a great 4th of July LOOONG time!!! Keep those wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

It's Best Friend Friday! Let's Dance!

On Wednesday my best friend, Arnold went into ICU with a blood clot...in his lung. They ran a bunch of tests on him yesterday (Thursday) and so far, so good, under the circumstances. Arnold has always been not just a church goer, but a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ. In the fall of 1970 I first met Arnold. He's the type of guy/kid that was easily liked. I was friends with his older sister and I was scared to death of Arnold's Dad. Now, don't get me wrong...oh no! Arnold's Dad was a nice man and a rugged man. His Dad had fists that looked like 10 lb sledge hammers! His voice was as West Virginia deep, as his hands were coal miner strong! That's where that whole God thing came from, I'm sure of it...from the hills of West Virginia. Arnold got Jesus. His sisters got Jesus.... and if I had laid an exploring teenaged hand on one of the girls? Well, it was pretty much guaranteed that I was gonna meet Jesus at a young age, via their Dad's hands. You know...a laying on of those powerful hands ...and praying for my healing at a much later date. Oh well...some years went by and in 1972 I joined the Army... two whole days after I turned 18. In 1975, about 2 weeks after my 21st birthday, I married a lovely South Korean girl.  Arnold is 2 and a half years younger than me but followed my lead somewhat later. He went into the Army, got sent to Korea, and married the love of his life. It was 1980, and I was a small town cop, when I got a call from Arnold. He heard I had a Korean wife, and so-on-and-so-forth, and we've been best friends ever since. Arnold went back to college, Air Force ROTC, and was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant. After 2 and a half years as a small town cop...I forgot about all the negatives of Army life and decided to go back in and tour Korea's lovely DMZ. Oh fun!. Oh well...throughout the years we stayed in touch. They are the kind of friends you maybe haven't seen in 2 or 3 years, and you just pick right up where you left off. Smooth! Easy going! Wonderful! Later, in 1996, my wife picked up our newly adopted son in South Korea, while I was back home working overtime to make up for lost income, since the wife was going to be a stay-at-home Mom. At that time Arnold was stationed in Japan and he, his wife, and daughter, flew over to see my wife and our new baby boy. They saw my son before I did! I have video of it! Cool, huh?! Anyhow you can see how connected we are. In 1983 they visited us at Fort Ord and in 1990 we visited them at Fort MacArthur. Back and forth. Beautiful! All this time I have only met a handful of men like Arnold. He's my best friend. He and his wife are in our will to care for our son, should something happen to us. That should tell you what we think of him and his family. Now, Arnold is doing better but we ask you to keep him in your prayers. While you're at it, be sure you keep our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers, LOOONG time, too!!! This song is for Arnold and his wonderful wife. The wife and I danced to this song. Beautiful. God bless you all! It's Friday! Let's dance!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Thank You Korean War Veterans

At this time my wife and I, and our families, thank you, the Korean War Veterans and their families, for your sacrifices. They were not in vain. My wife and I know this. Our South Korean family knows this. They prosper and are thankful to first, God...and secondly, to the United States of America and
it's allies who fought and died for them. The Korean War began on Sunday, June 25, 1950. Freedom is not free. Remember them. Thank you all.

Friday, June 22, 2012

It's a Fort Polk Friday! Let's Dance!

It's Friday, people! You know what that means, don't 'cha? It means it's time to dance! While I was in the Army, I never heard anything good about Fort Polk, Louisiana. It wasn't anything about the people from that great state, it was just...Fort Polk. Blessed by God and my US Army luck, I never got down that way!  This tune is not only for the poor bastards stationed there....but for all our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families stationed in places that might even make Fort Polk look awfully good! Pray for them all and God bless them, LOOONG time!!! Let's dance, you heathens! It's Friday! JG ;)

Friday, June 15, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

We've been together over 36 years now...and my girl, my wife, my lovely KIM,  has never given up on me. Today, this Friday, we dance to this beautiful tune. Together and in love, we dance slowly. I am so very thankful for her. While God continues to bless us, we pray too, that He continues to bless all of you and our US Armed Forces and their families. Keep them in your prayers! You are, in ours. It's Friday, let's dance slow and lovingly, and always give thanks in all circumstances. "All" circumstances. God won't give up on you. We know this. Have a wonderful weekend. JG & Wife