Saturday, May 30, 2009

Don't Mess with Marines in F-18's

My looong time BlackFive commenting friend, C_Bob, cracks me up! There is truth in humor. Go HERE and see why.

Friday, May 29, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Today's choice is a definite change of pace. If you're Amerasian in ain't easy. It still isn't. That's on Korea as a whole. Some of my readers have lived it. This song is a rap. It has a message. A beautiful young girl who shows you her pain...and love. Stay with me on this, read the subtitles, it's good. It's Friday! Let's dance!!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

North Korean News Exclusive

Dateline El Way, Koweefornia-
Great Reader KIM Jong IL's super Top Seaquit Norf Korean spy satellite has captured this image at Los Angeles InternNational Ex-LAX Airport. Shown is this foolish woman reporter...rumored to be Obama's Mother-in-Law...or Juanita Broaddrick...obviously doing the bidding of FLOX News! She is pictured above being dragged to a hangman's noose (seen upper right in photo). Nancy Pelosi ,who has gone green, joyfully reported to the Peoples Republic of California that... "There is not a hint of water-boarding to be found in this most-ethical of Presidential Administrations!" Hispanic human rights activist and Havana's own community organizer extraordinaire Fidel Castro ...agreeing with Nancy... said "Obama is da Man! Just like
Obama's USA...we waste no time in torturing anyone! Hasta la vista, bitch."

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

KIM Jong IL has Your Number

Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, in "The Land of the Morning Missile Launch" we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, beginning a countdown...

KIM- Tin...Nye...Ate...7up...Sex...Fye...Foe...Tree...Too...Wun...

Now, General Wang...HIT BUTTON!!!

WANG- Hit button for what, Great Reader?

KIM- For under-glound nuke! I'm make big exprosion!

WANG- Underground nuke? Make a big explosion, Sir?

KIM- You herds me! Now hit button!

WANG- Sir, we don't have a button here for that sort of thing. You have to call it in on your cell phone to activate detonation.

KIM- Oh...that's right. I'm wii-member now! I'm have to dial a top sea-quit numba on phone to splode that suck'a. Oh, crap!

WANG- Problem, 'O Forgetful One?

KIM- Wang, what is number to bro up the bomb?

WANG- I wouldn't have it, Sir. Only you have it.

KIM- Oh...right. What was that number? I seem to rememblurr the number was in a Little Indians...naw...I'm Rooking Over a Four Reef Clover...nutz! Give me some songs with numba's in them, Wang.

WANG- Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover? One is the Loneliest Number? 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall? 96 Tears? Mambo Number Five?

KIM- No, Wang. It was a song with a phone numb'a in it...

WANG- How about Sam and Dave doing 634-5789...or perhaps Tommy TuTone doing 867-5309 (Jenny)?

KIM- I'm sure it has to be one of those numba's! I'm dial 634-5789 now....

(voice recording on phone)

Welcome to Britain's got Talent!
To vote for Susan ONE now....
(Kim presses one)


WANG- Success, Sir! Our seismographs are reading an earthquake of 4.7!

KIM- Wow! I wonder what 867-5309 will get me? (Kim dials)

(voice recording on phone)

Hello friend... and welcome to the "Shake Hands with Obama and Friends" hotline!

To shake hands with Barack Obama, press ONE...

To shake hands with Hillary Clinton, press TWO...

To shake hands with Susan Rice (US Ambassador to the UN), press THREE...

KIM- General Wang.

WANG- Yes, Great Reader?

KIM- Get wockets weddy for launch!

WANG- Right away, Most Balistic One!

KIM- Oh...and let me know if Susan Boyle wins.

WANG- Of course, Your Greatness.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I'm too Young to Fight

Here's an e-mail I got and I am sorry I don't know who to give credit for writing this. I am too young to re-enter military service it appears.

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get u p before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling..

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a singl e 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

(hat-tip to Debbie)

Memorial Day

Sunday, May 24, 2009

You're in the Pink

Well you're either in the pink... or You're in the Army Now. Gosh how, I love soldiers looong time! Try and catch a few Zzz's in your pink boxers, red "T", and flip-flops when some bastards start taking pot-shots at your position. No time to worry about the dress-code...It's Showtime! Too bad for this young man (but fun for us) that a reporter caught him in his battle-rattle complete with his "I Love NY" underwear. Pictured is US Army Specialist Zachery Boyd, age 20, from Ft Worth, Texas... in pink boxers...after having been routed from his sleep on May 11, 2009 by Taliban fire on a base in the Korengal Valley of Afghanistan's Kunar Province. With him are Cecil Montgomery of Many, La., far right; and Jordan Custer of Spokane, Wash.
War is hell ...and thanks to the AP's David Guttenfelder...poor Zach has the pictures to prove it. Don't mess with Texas...or, for that matter...don't mess with Texans who are armed, even if they wear pink boxers.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

In the News

According to one of my favorite blogs, The Jawa Report, a homegrown terror cell got busted. Read all about it HERE. So let's hear what some people in the news have to say about this...

Janet Napolitano- If only Obama could have only shaken hands with them in time. Sad. But on the other hand, they could be a group of taxpaying white conservative christian NRA military veterans!

Somali Pirate- Lucky bastards! They didn't have to deal with Navy SEALS like we did.

Sarah Palin- Give 'em to me. Alaskans know what to do.

Sean Hannity- I told you Reverend Jeremiah Wright is a mutha-f@#k'er!

John Edwards- You're not with the National Enquirer are you?

Big Bird- Why the hell you askin' me, asshole?

Nancy Pelosi-
Those liars in the CIA will try and take credit for this bust, but the true credit belongs to ME, and I did it all without water-boarding!

Simon (American Idol)- My opinion...overall? A very underwhelming performance by a bunch of foolish young Negro's.

John Kerry- I can't quite put my finger on it... but I'd say that those young African Americans were swift-boated by George W. Bush.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Afghan Dust Storms, Water, & Koreans

In AFGHANISTAN SHRUGGED I read about a real pain in the ass and misery... an Afghan dust storm. Being an American fighting man, Vampire 06, wrote about the wind, heat, and very fine Afghan dust, as follows: "Use a hairdryer and sandpaper on your face and you’ll get the general feeling. I think to myself there must be some way to package this little piece of torture and sell it to spas back home in California. I’m convinced that somebody will buy it; it’s too stupid not to have someone believe it’s good for them." He also wrote: "By the way anyone up for an “Afghan Cleansing Wind Treatment”? Look for it coming soon to a spa near you! I know somebody is going to buy this, I just know it!"

(Photo: The Dirty Dozen)

In reference to the Afghan Cleansing Wind Treatment, I believe I have the clientele perfect-o for Vampire 06....the South Koreans. You see, my in-laws are Korean and when they come to visit us (in the USA) they prefer to drink our nasty-assed-stinkin-stanky-sulfur-infested tap water. It kind of smells a little like rotten eggs (ick!).
It's got a musky kind of a smell. A musk funk...and not in a good way. Rather than drink the good water we have delivered to our home, they, these sons and daughters of "The Land of the Morning Calm", want to drink the nasty crap-water, exclaiming "It smells! This water must have a lot of good minerals in it! Good for your health! Everyone drink! Drink up!" I tried to explain that this wasn't necessarily the case but they would have none of it and continued drinking many gallons of our funkified water. I let them poison themselves. Damn Koreans! They make me want to drink. I'm sure they will gladly cleanse themselves, The Afghan Way, and stand in line with cash money for Vampire Six's latest enterprise. Oh...if you come to our house and I give you our regular tap water to drink you should either... 1.) be honored that I think you are a Korean... or 2.) take the hint and not hang around too long. Bloggers Tammi & That1Guy outsmarted me. When they visited, they brought their own beer. Bastards.

Korean Rule#1- If it stinks it must be good for you.
Guess the wife thought I stunk and married me. Yeah, I'm a stinker.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Armed Forces Day

Don't forget our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families!

Friday, May 15, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Does Great Reader ruv looong time the followers of his brogg? Let me answer dat wiff a song buy Seoul Bruddah Frank Wilson singin' da song...Do I Love (ruv) You? (Indeed I'm Doo). It's Flyday, so get up and outta those chairs, and dance with the Great Reader, JihadGene, & the lovely KIM! We odors you! Let's dance!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Elder Sister Carol

Hold on. I'm afraid it's bad news. It's about my Elder Sister Carol. She's really going to hell now. My Elder Sister Carol is the one who washed my mouth out with 6 full bars of Ivory soap and one rather small Mickey Mouse Club official toothbrush. See...I called her a jackass and though it was on May 14th of 1959, I remember that pummeling-for-religion she dished out to me, as though it happened...only yesterday. I was age 5 and Carol was probably 40 by then, though only a freshman in high school. Carol never was too bright but we encouraged her to try her best... it was, afterall, the right thing to do. Well anyway, once I called her the J word (jackass) she nutted-up completely. First she grabbed Mom's handbag! It was loaded with a gang '0 Watchtower and Awake magazines from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of the Mutual of Omaha. That bag must'a weighed-in at a full 33lbs or more! Then Carol yelled at me that Jehovah God would personally kick my ass for all eternity, for having called her(Carol Almighty) the J word! After several smacks, with my right eye rapidly swelling shut, choking on my own blood, flowing like a fresh mountain stream from my now-broken nose, I told Carol that she'd get in trouble for breaking my nose and blinding me in one eye. Something I said must have reached her Jehovah-God-influenced brain cells... because she stopped with the ass-beating and very slowly at first, ever so slowly... she began to smile and released her grip. on. my. neck. I fell to the floor and puked. It was then that my Elder Sister Carol, the 40 year old freshman in high school, got the idea! She grabbed me by the left ankle and using my body like a swiffer , mopped up the puke and blood... known in law enforcement circles as evidence. Then she said that I needed cleaning up. I thanked her as she drug me down the tiled hall to the bathroom, buffing the floor with my back as she went. Carol wasn't the sharpest knife in Mama's kitchen drawer but she was...I must admit...a clean one. She took me to the bathroom sink for what I hoped would be cleanup. Oh it was cleanup, alright! A baptismal cleanup!!! Well, after an hour and a half of some serious water-boarding-with-Ivory action...and with Carol yelling at me to " Praise Jehovah" and pray that "May I always serve Jehovah God, in going door-to-door and knocking on doors"...thusly "waking up the sinful ones and saving all the heathens" or else "have me and all my little neighborhood friends die in Armageddon". Now, I had a choice. We were in America, after all, even if it was California, now either, I could...

#1. Say I am sorry for calling her (Carol...the world's oldest high school freshman) the J word
#2. Deal with what she threatened to dish out to me (have my mouth washed out with soap).

I told her, "I don't give a Hell"! Carol immediately picked up a "New Worlds Translation" and referred herself to Chapter 666. It was then that the numerous bars of Ivory soap with a cute Mickey Mouse brush, were force-fed to me, via my Elder Sister Carol, now known as "The Ivory Soap Girl". Carol cackled as I foamed. I foamed and foamed. I foamed some more! She said, "Reminds me of Daddy's Gillete Foamy"...the bitch.
Well... all told, I survived Carol's reign of terror. After she was dis-fellowship'd from the door-knocking JW's ... for loving a really great guy...and even marrying him before they made whoopie... she alleges) I think Carol later went on to work with Jane Fonda in "Healthcare for American Hero's". Whatever. Here is why I am writing you all today...It seems Miss Perfect has sent me an "R" rated e-card. A dancing girl with pasties on her BOOBIES! Yes...Carol sent me a card with a young woman on it who was dancing with her top off! She even had ruby red lips (on her face)! Will she go to hell with me for this? Man, I can only hope so! Therefore, I ripped off this video from leeann who said I was going to hell for telling her (leeann) that she was going to hell. Hell, we're all screwed anyway so enjoy the video and have a nice day! Fin

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It's Talent Show Thursday!

It's Talent Show Thursday and those who made this video get a standing "O" from the Great Reader! This video I dedicate to the one...the only...HAMMER! Yeah, Baby!

SEAL's In Space

Those dreaded Somali pirates are at it again according to the Somali Pirate Blog, but the US Navy is on it like vomit! Pictured is the craft carrying US Navy Space SEAL TeamAmerica#1 into space. Good hunting! And now for other B.S. in the newz...1st Lady Michelle Obama blah-blah-blah...bailout for GM did nothing but throw away more of your tax dollars and Obama wants more money to blah-blah-blah...

SFC Kevin Dupont and Prayer

Sergeant First Class Dupont (age 52) was badly burned (3rd degree over 65%) when his vehicle was hit by an IED in Afghanistan. I read it HERE on BLACKFIVE. We've been praying for Kevin and his wife Lisa, for a few weeks now and let me... let you in on the latest news, in my own way...

Meanwhile somewhere up in the clouds and at Brooke Army Hospital we hear this radio transmission....

GOD- Guardian 22 (two-two), this is Almighty 06 (six), over...

g22- (no answer)


g22- (loud background noises) Almighty Six, this is Guardian two-two, Sir...(static)...

GOD- Guardian 22 (two-two), this is Almighty 06 (six), I can barely read you over all the background chatter, are you under spiritual attack, over?

g22- (loud background noises) Almighty Six, this is Guardian two-two, Sir?...uuh...negative on the spiritual attack, Sir...

GOD- Guardian 22 (two-two), this is Almighty 06 (six), like I said...I can barely read you over all the background chatter...I copy a NEGATIVE on the spiritual attack but what's with all that noise, over?

g22- (loud background noises) Almighty Six, this is Guardian two-two, Sir...on the noise, Sir?'s all the Dupont friends & family, Brooke Hospital staff, C Troop 1st/40th Cav (Abn), bloggers, and well wisher's at Kevin's webpage via Caringbridge ...well they are making one hell-of-a racket...ooop's... I mean, joyful noise, celebrating your answered prayers, Sir. Truly God hears prayers and answers them, Sir! God is good, Sir!!!

GOD- Tell all of Kevin & Lisa's prayer warriors to continue their mission and God love 'em all!

g22- (loud background noises) Roger that, Sir!

GOD- This is ALMIGHTY SIX signing off for now but rest assured, that The Great I AM is monitoring the prayer waves 24/7!!!

g22- (loud background noises) Roger that, Sir! And all God's people said...

GOD & g22: HOOAH!!!

(*Hooah is Army speak for Amen.)
JG, out! ;)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Prayer Warrriors Needed

Former US Army Sgt E-5, JihadGene, here with a prayer request for a cancer fightin' soldier named Evan. Evan is a kid who dreams of being a soldier. He was battling the big C (brain cancer) as best he could and later refused to eat. Some fine folks (US Army SOLDIERS) contacted Evan and told him to he did. Evan is a beautiful kid, who loves to play Army and has dreams of being one of America's best. Evan already is (the best) but the little guy needs support in the form of prayer as he is currently hurting. We at Great Reader are Army Strong and pray Army Strong! Please pray for Evan and read TankerBabe's blog. You can go HERE to leave a prayer. Thanks.

Friday, May 8, 2009

It's Swine Flu Friday! Let's Dance!

Great Reader KIM Jong IL, here! You miss me looong time doan U? Of clourse you do's! In celebratings of Phil Spector's imprisonment and the fract that all of you Americlan lackey's of Baawack Oblama are soon to die frums Swines Flu beecaws you no deports Mlexicans like China do's...I'm gives you "Spanish Harlem" with this warning..."Video not suitable for viewing by Norf Korean children under age 25...SEXY WOMAN DANCE....AND GUY TOO! Ooo La-la!
It's FLYDAY! Let's DANCE!!!

Truth Detector? No, it's...

This from Michelle Obama quoted in the Washington Post- "If people here are like me -- I call myself a 120-percenter. If I'm not doing any job at 120 percent, I think I'm failing. So if you're trying to do that at home and at work, you find it very difficult and stressful and frustrating."

Yep. It's true. I verified it on my Heath Kit, "Bitch-O-Meter".
A 120 percenter, she darn sure is!

This too, from Michelin Obama in the same article...
"Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants," Obama said with a laugh as she spoke before a crowd of business executives meeting today during a "Corporate Voices for Working Families" conference at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington.

George Washington had personal assistants too. They were called slaves.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

FYI Found Cat

Anybody lose a cat? My Elder Sister Carol found him awhile back. My brother-in-law is not too cat crazy and he does have priors for felony woodpecker head-smashing with a deadly weapon (Craftsman framing hammer) back around when Johnny Cash was touring San Quentin and Folsom Prisons. To keep my sister's hubby outta jail I'm putting out this APB (All Points Bulletin) before he goes back to Sears or the Home Depot and picks up a Sawzall. I'm not sure about the conditions of my brother-in-law's parole but he could be violated and returned to prison. Or does one get violated in prison? Whatever... I'm no lawyer, just a good brother-in-law. Even if the cat ain't yours you can have him. The way this cat behaves, I think it must belong to Maeve but I'm not sure, so don't say nothin' to her, lest she give me the "hairy eyeball" treatment. Don't say nothing to my brother-in-law either. Oh yeah! They named the cat Gray Stray but he won't respond for beans. Can cats get the swine flu or just brother-in-laws?
(*cat pic stolen from Hammer)

Father and Son Talk

My 13 year old asked me this, this morning... "What would you do if you knew you only had one month to live?"
Well, deep thinker that I am... I gave it deep thought for about a full "One, Mississippi...Two, Mississippi" count and then gave him his answer...

ME- Son, I'd register as a Democrat!

SON- What? But... Dad, you hate Democrats! Why would you ever want to be one of them?!

ME- Believe me, Son. It's much better one of them goes, than a conservative.

...My son then walked away enlightened, nodding his head in the affirmative. I've done my job.

*hat tip Leann ;)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fashion Sense

Looking for some business help here...
The wife and I own a clothing store. It's perfect for those in search of urban/gang'sta wear. Featured are clothing lines from Dickies, Dickies Girl, LowRider, Ben Davis, Cali Ink, Ekco, Rocca Wear, and more! We have the T shirts (I shit you not) you're looking the "Obama Yes We Did"... the "Lick Me Like a Lollipop" (I had my Korean wife return that one when I explained to her what the hell it meant)...the "Never Cuffin" (with handcuffs pictured on it)... the big honkin' "Marijuana Leaf" tee shirt (the wife must have thought it was a Canadian maple leaf, yes...I had her return it, even though it was an instant hit with our valued customers), and of course there's the always popular "Stop Snitchin" tee... in blue or red colors, depending upon your gang affiliation! Now, occasionally I will have the customer, as pictured, who has a different taste for fashion and we at FASHION SENSE (not our store's real name) will do our damned'est to get in on that fast-track to successful selling ($). It's business. So now I have a new mission for my wife (the buyer). Where can she get these outfits in L.A.'s Garment District? I believe it is an off-shoot clothing line by 1980's singers, Peaches and Herb known as Peaches and Turd. Know where I can find fashion busters like that?
I know I can sell beau coup units of these if I can just get them in the XXL to 7XL size range!!! Perhaps my wife should shop in the Bay Area? Any suggestions you may have are always more than welcome at FASHION SENSE.
(hat tip USA Admiral for the picture)

White House Announces New Agency

The Obama Administration
(Reverend Wright, Nancy Pelosi, and Al Sharpton) have requested emergency funding of a new agency designed to patrol our shopping malls and fast food restaurants for the spreaders of this disease... teenage boys and girls
(non Hispanic and non Muslim) who are hanging out because their school was closed due to swine flu fears. President Obama is expected to approve necessary funding for the $100 million dollar program later today and made this statement...
"As America changes... so, we too... must CHANGE! HOPEfully this swine flu pandemic, caused by the Bush Administration and accelerated due to global warming, CAN and will be contained by this, Janet Napolitano, formed agency! My fellow nowproudtobe-Americans, I give you the office of Watch the Flu! Otherwise known as WTF?!"
When asked if President Obama would have our border with Mexico closed, he responded...
"WTF for?!".
(hat tip to Hammer for the inspiration of this BS)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Meanwhile somewhere north of the south, a little past the 38th Parallel, in The Land 'O the Morning Missile Launch, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL , keyboarding-away with a purpose...

KIM- Damn! Pinche spell check. HEY...General Wang!
Get rear ov'a here!

WANG- My rear's right here, Your Greatness.

KIM- My spell check no works too good on Mlexican words.

WANG- Your spell check doesn't work so well on Mexican words, Sir?

KIM- That's what I'm said...damnit!

WANG- My apologies, Sir.

KIM- PaulOgee, accepted. Now where was I'm? Oh yeah...I'm's writings to the Mexi-Clans to wish them a happy Cinco de Corona and....

WANG- It's de Mayo, Sir. Cinco de Mayo.

KIM- Oklay, so's I'ms writings to the Mexi-Clans to wish them a happy Cinco de Negra Modelo and....

WANG- de Mayo, Sir. It's de Mayo.

KIM- Oklay, so's I'ms writings to the Mexi-Clans to wish them a happy Cinco de Nochebuena and....

WANG- de Mayo, Sir. It's de Mayo. As in "It's Cinco de Mayo", Your Greatness. Corona, Negra Modelo, and Nochebuena are all names of Mexican beers.

KIM- Oh, in that case get me a tequila.

WANG- Chaser, Sir?

KIM- (Looking out window at a female soldier) Naw, let that mamasita go.

WANG- Que?

Monday, May 4, 2009

Anybody Going to Afghanistan?

If ya know of anyone deploying to Afghanistan, there is a blog that may well make your tour there easier. The blog is called A.L.L.= Afghan Lessons Learned for Soldiers. I realize Uncle Sam gives you some of the low-down and equipment you need, when deploying, but there are some very helpful tips on what to have/bring along to beautiful Afghanistan. This useful information is put out by troops currently with their "boots on the ground" in Afghanistan and those who have been there and done that. So... go to A.L.L.!

(* special thanks to Vampire 06 at Afghanistan Shrugged)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Obama Takes Day Off or Busy Joe Biden

(From the Jihadi Buzz)- Due to the President's "taxing work schedule" Vice President Joe Biden has stepped up to the plate and Barack Whose-Named Obama has taken the day off to enjoy time with the family. Pictured are US Navy SEAL's and U.S. Air Force pararescuemen in a joint operation, jumping out of a C-130P aircraft, during a training exercise conducted over Fresno, California's sewage treatment facility and El Mexicano Brothers menudo processing plant#12. When asked what the training was for, Vice President Biden said the following..." Isn't it f#cking obvious, you Einstein? Do I have to smack your ass with a clue bat?! Okay, I'll break it down to, Robert Gibbs, you. These men are obviously training, per my orders, under the watchful eye of Homeland Security's Janet Napolitano, in the likely event that some swine flu infected pirates, of an unknown religion, should be discovered while over water, and simultaneously be trying to hijack a commercial airliner!!! You got that Mr Obvious?!"
Well, there you have it, friends. As Joe Biden girds the loins of America we can all rest easy this weekend.....Mexicans and Somali's too...because Joe Mama's at the helm! That is all.
(hat-tip goes to BlackFive for photo and inspiration of this piece)

Friday, May 1, 2009

UFO Sighted Near MexiCali!

This UFO was spotted near the Calexico-Mexicali area of northern Mexico at sunset today, approx 1958 hrs (PST). The UFO was last seen headed in a northwest direction towards Fresno, California which is a known hide-out of the infamous That 1 Guy. Homeland Security's own Janet Napolitano was unavailable for comment as she was busy trying to suck up to the VFW and American Legion, the stooopid bitch! The White House did, however, issue this unauthorized statement from Vice President Joe Biden...
"F#ck wearing a mask! If this sucker flies over you and you got no overhead cover, you'd best be donning a pith helmet and some wrap around shades at a minimum! Maybe a fireman's helmet, if ya can get your hands on one. That mask ain't gonna save anybody's ass, if you're asking me! Whatever you do, don't look up! Also I would suggest that all citizens (legal and undocumented) carry a sturdy-ass'd picnic umbrella! Oh...and for God's sakes, whatever ya do, don't even f#cking fly! Could you imagine flying low-and-slow in Air Force 1, over New York City, and end up hitting' a flock 'O them bastards at 3,000 feet! Then having them gettin' sucked-up in the jet turbines of that 747 and the F-16 jet fighter escort?! Holy carnitas, Batman! You'd be scaring the hell out of everyone! But... in the end...I guess you'd be making a bunch of Puerto Ricans very happy."
Happy weekend!

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Great Reader-JihadGene got's to "sock some love power" to the following people and I'm holdin' em up with some extra prayer (help me now):

Military- US ARMY SFC Kevin Dupont (recovering from severe burns received in Afghanistan), USMC Lt Col Ty Edwards (head wound AK round Afghanistan); Cindy Brown ( tumor, wife of my favorite Army officer of all-time, Col. James Brown); and all of our US Forces deployed and don't EVER even forget their families!

Civilian- Jerry (blogger, Mom & Dad are elderly, and all that comes with it), My brother in law, U-Tae's wife (undergoing chemotherapy for cancer in her neck); Cheryl, who is a good friend of my Big Sister Carol (breast cancer). Kim & Marie (death of 19 year old daughter).

Notes-I pray for all of you. Witches too...Maeve (I'm comin' at ya with the cross! Yikes.). Now I might of missed put it in comments and we'll throw it up there to the All Mighty!

So let's pray and dance and sock some love power (Lee Rogers) to these folks.'s Friday! Let's dance and remember...Great Reader ruv's you looong time!!! YES I DO!