Thursday, December 31, 2009

Into Thine Hand I Committ My Spirit

Just heard about the good men we lost to a suicidal piece of trash in Khost province. Sad. Who to trust? Trust in God. Pray for the families of the deceased, for the wounded, and their families as well. Over at BLACKFIVE there is a link to a very fine piece by Michael Yon. The pictures are moving. A tribute to the fallen soldiers of the 2nd Infantry Division. I too wore that Indianhead patch with pride. Second to none, our troops are...second to none. As you ring in the New Year, remember our troops and their families. Buy 'em a drink. Give 'em a hug. Remember their sacrifice. Click HERE for the link to Michael Yon's post.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Janet Napalitano Works for America

Little known fact... that while Janet Napolitano was Governor of Arizona not one Navajo boarded a flight at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport with PETN packed loincloths! Proof...once again...that the system works!!!

Friday, December 25, 2009

A Christmas Repeat

*I wrote this last Christmas of 2008 but the message is the same. Wherever you are, do good with the life you have. Remember our troops and their families in your prayers...and thank you. JG

Love American VS Korean Style #14

In the beginning...
In Part 1- I met the girl I would marry. Her name is Kim. Love at 1st sight (for me, anyway).
In Part 2- I spent what money I had to set up a birthday party that would put me with Kim.
In Part 3- Kim gets puked on by drunk Birthday Boy. Kim leaves. I am miserable.
In Part 4- Korean Grandmothers (Shaman) take pity on me. We Kamikaze in a taxi to Kim's.
In Part 5- I survive the taxi ride. The Grandmothers tell me they will fix all. I must return to base. I can't beat the midnight curfew but I damn sure try.
In Part 6- Suicide ride on a bus bumper. Crash. Injuries and more. Concussion too! Police chase. Escape & Evade.
In Part 7- Climb a telephone pole. Steal a bike with one wheel. Make my Great Escape.
In Part 8- Ride bike into a Banjo-Ditch (sewage). Another concussion. I crawl out and am captured by the ROK Army, then returned to base.
In Part 9- Medical treatment at 0130 hours. AM meeting with Military Police 1SG Black Thunder Johnson. Made an Ambassador to South Korea. Run to Motor Pool.
In Part 10- Bicycle recovered. I fall into the banjo ditch. 1SG YOON/1SG Johnson/Me and the Korean Grandfather have a Pow-wow. Intercultural relations rebuilt. Valuable lessons learned.
In Part 11- The First Sergeants have a meeting. I am cleaned up at a ROK Army wash point. We go to Kim's. I am Elvis, to the Korean Grandmothers. I SEE KIM! We are returning to base.
In Part 12- I return to Camp with the First Sergeant's, jeep, and bicycle. My squad members, the house boys, and I.... all ponder my fate. We break for chow (lunch). I opt for a nap and am awoken by my Squad leader SSG OLY. Intro to Staff Sergeant Oly (The Big "O") and the infamous Three Beeps. Time has come...I head for the orderly room.
In Part 13- I report to the orderly room. My fate is sealed until the next day when I must report back to the First Sergeant with my Squad Leader. I am re-directed to the unit supply room and meet Sergeant James Wheeler.

As we last left off...Sgt James (Wheeler-Dealer) Wheeler is taking me and the infamous one-wheeled battered banjo-ditch bicycle to an orphanage in Pusan, South Korea. Jimmy is a handsome Amerasian who looks totally Korean when wearing sunglasses to cover up those blue eyes of his. He used the "A" word on me again....Ambassador. Well we loaded up the bike in a jeep trailer and headed out the main gate of Camp Hialeah. Driving in Korea is kinda crazy and Sgt Wheeler drives like an expert... after all, he is from Brooklyn and when he speaks English he is every bit a New Yorker. How he speaks perfect Korean without that accent, is beyond me. We're driving through several traffic circles and eventually hit a kind of industrial area. Jimmy pulls up to a junk yard. I asked what are we doing at a junk yard and Jimmy says it's for the bike. He explains to me that while the bike is useless it is still worth something and with whatever we can get for the bike we can buy stuff for the orphanage. Jimmy says, "Cool, huh"?! I said, "It makes sense to me, but what can the orphanage use?". Sgt James Wheeler just smiled at me and said, "You really don't know? You'll see." Jimmy sold the bike to a rough looking middle-aged Korean man dressed in dirty coveralls. Regardless of race, someone who owns a salvage or junk yard is always dressed for the part with strong dirty hands from hard work, crow footed eyes, a heavily lined face from working in the sun, and a cigarette in his mouth with a long ash on it. This man was all of that. Sgt Wheeler got 1,500 Won for it, about $3 US, back in 1975. We drove a few blocks over to a corner Mom & Pop grocery store. It was like a Lee Chong's Heavenly Flower Grocery in the book Cannery Row, a place where... as John Steinbeck put it... "The grocery opened at dawn and did not close until the last wandering vagrant dime had been spent or retired for the night. Not that Lee Chong was avaricious. He wasn't, but if one wanted to spend money, he was available." That pretty much sums up a Korean merchant. Hard working and never a day off. The little store was stuffed to the gills with inventory. I was amazed at all the stuff inside! They had cheap toys, pens, pencils, paper, Napa cabbage, Mi-Won (MSG), salt, long green onions, giant radishes, candies, ice cream, cuttle fish flavored snacks, candles, matches, pots & pans, crushed red peppers, blankets, little outdoor cook stoves with butane bottles, shower sandals, soaps, false eye lashes (?), cigarettes, beer, wine, soda, nasty Korean booze called Jinro and Soju, and Samyang ramen. The place had it all! The grocery store Pop was sittin' on the floor watching a little black & white GoldstarTV set that had sports on. He smiled broadly and rose as Jimmy and I entered. His little boy, a four or five year old who sat with him jumped up, pointed at me, and exclaimed "Me Kuk Saw-rahm"! The little boy was cute as a button and he kept pointing at me saying "American person" (Me Kuk Saw-rahm). I guess they didn't get many, if any, GI's out this way. I was pretty much a space alien in this part of Pusan, South Korea. The little boy's mouth hung wide-open when I spoke Korean to him. This Ambassador stuff could be cool. Sgt Wheeler bought a bunch of stuff. More than 10 recycled bicycles could ever buy. Amerasian James Wheeler glowed as he whipped out about $40 in Korean funny-money, as GI's called it. Purchases made and off we went.
As we pulled up to the cold gray cement walls of the orphanage Jimmy hit the siren on the jeep. A "hue and cry" of pure excitement and joy went up behind those walls like I'd never heard before. I could hear children's voices yelling happily "Jim Eee...Jim Eee"...and into the orphanage we went. In there I saw Tiny Tim's and Tiny Kim's of ages 5 thru 12 maybe. Now I knew, for absolute certain, why Jimmy Wheeler glowed on the outside. Call it a higher power or maybe the forces of good but James Wheeler had love for those kids in his heart. There was no hiding it! I don't know what Jimmy's story is or how he came to be this Saint Nicholas of the Pusan Orphanage, but this guy was Santa. A real life Santa Claus of a Christian who didn't talk all bible and God stuff, like so many Christians but he spoke of love, sprinkled with a guy named Jesus. He was a sower of seed, he was. James walked the walk like none-other I have met. I saw some shy and sad-case kids there in that orphanage, but they too glowed when held in the loving arms of Sgt Wheeler. Good begets good...this I know. The Buddhists know this too...
Not to do any evil, to cultivate good, to purify one's mind--this is the
teaching of the Buddhas.

Buddhism. Dhammapada 183
Merry Christmas to all! JG & Family

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Meanwhile back on the DMZ we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL and General Wang keeping a watchful eye on South Korea...

WANG: Look, Great Reader! It's Santa Claus!

KIM: Just my ruck! Silly Santa Craws would be on the south side of the DMZ. Oh well...Merry Christmas LOOONG time anyway!!!

JihadGene & Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Friday, December 18, 2009

KIM Jong IL Writes a Letter

Meanwhile at his elevated desk...comfortably seated in his leather highchair, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL composing a letter. Let's take a look...

KIM- Okray, Secretary General Wong. You have pencils and papers weddy to take dicks-tation from Great Reader?

WONG- Ready for dictation, Sir!

KIM- Good then let's begin...How's it hangin', BLITCH?! No...stwike that.

WONG- I'll strike that, Great One.

KIM- What's crack-a-lackin', BLITCH?! No...stwike that, too!

WONG- Consider it struck, Your Greatness.

KIM- Stop with dicks-tation, Secretary General Wong!

WONG- Dictation stopped, Sir.

KIM- I think I'll go for a more formal gweeting:


...blah-blah-blah...etc...LOL...ROFLMAO...craygee mudder-pucker make Great reader KIM Jong IL raff out roud looong time...I'm have nots raffed out so roud as when I'm read latest letter from stoopid mudder-puckin Obama!!! LOL!!! What chew been smokin, Dude?
LOL LONG TIME!!!...etc...etc...

Signed, Great Reader KIM Jong IL,
Dickstater, DPRK...etc,etc.."

KIM- You got all that, Secretary General Wong?

WONG- Yes, Sir!

KIM- Good.

WONG- Where's this letter going to, Great Reader?

KIM- Going to the USA...hmmm...Better put some extra Blue Chip Stamps or S & H green ones on the envelope for postage!

WONG- Yes, Sir...and to whom is this letter going to, Sir?

KIM- The "to whom's" is Senator Chuck Schumer of course!

WONG- I should have known.

KIM- Now that I have my highchair tray in the down position...goes get me a rum & coke, BLITCH!!! BWAHAhahaha!!!

WONG- A flight attendant's work is never done.

(*blitch is Korean for the Engrish word if you didn't nose ;)

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

It's Friday and the week before Christmas! It is only fitting that as Copenhagen gets buried in snow, I have a holiday tribute to Global Warming's very own, Al Gore. In the words of Copenhagen's Commander-in-Chief, Barack Whosenamed Obama, "It's Friday so put on a sweater and dance with the Chinese you sucka's!"

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

KIM Jong IL Puzzled...Milblogs Go Silent

Meanwhile back in his palace, surrounded by his army in Pyongyang, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL surfing the internet's whirl-why-web and checking up on US milblogs....

KIM- What?! What in the name of Sam's Club (Sam Hill) is this? U.S. Milbroggs Silent Today? General Wang! Front and spinster, right now !!!

WANG- Here, Great Reader! Front and center, Sir!

KIM- What's diss?! (points at computer screen)

WANG- says,
"Army Master Sgt. C. J. Grisham has always led from the front, from combat that earned him the Bronze Star with V device, to doing right by the men he led. His honesty won him readership and respect, from the White House on down. Yet, when he stood up for his children in school, his command did not stand by him."

KIM- And you thought stuff was only all FUBAR'd in "The Glorious Norf Korean People's Army"...didn't you, General Wang?

WANG- Well Sir, I must say it does sound like something our North Korean Army officers would do to one of our own....not like the Americans I've come across. Americans, who cherish their freedoms, Sir.

KIM- Wonder what that freedom stuff is? Oh well, I guess the Americans like my weedership (leadership) style...huh, General Wang?! I'm be one hell of a role model!!!

WANG- Sadly so, Sir....sadly so.

KIM- What was that, General Wang?

WANG- Good to go, Sir! I said...good to go.

KIM- That's what I'm thoughts you said.


Read about C.J. and this mess right HERE. To donate via PayPal you can log into PayPal on your own, go to the send money page, and put in his email:
You can also send donations directly to:
Grisham Legal Fund
c/o Redstone Federal Credit Union
220 Wynn Drive
Huntsville, AL 35893
Please write "Grisham Legal Fund" in the memo line if you use this option.

Milblogs have been a vital link in getting accurate news and information about the military, and military operations, to you. Today, many milblogs are gone and others are under attack from within and without. Today, you have the chance to imagine a world without milblogs, and to do something about it. Make your voice heard by writing your congressional representatives and others, and by making donations as you see fit.

The battle for freedom of speech and the marketplace of ideas is fought on many fronts and in many ways. Without your help, the battle may well be lost. Let's fight this.

Here's a Partial List of Participating Blogs: This Ain’t Hell
Boston Maggie
Miss Ladybug
Drunken Wisdom
Grim’s Hall
CDR Salamander -
Chromed Curses-
The Kitchen Dispatch-
Homefront Six-
Army Household 6-
From Cow Pastures to Kosovo-
In the Crosshairs-
The Mudville Gazette-
Laughing Wolf-
Barmy Mama-
The Sandgram-


Friday, December 11, 2009


And now, in honor of our people's ARMY football team foes...the NAVY...Great Reader gives to you "THE NAVY FIGHT SONG"....


It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

This Friday I want to dedicate a song to a couple. A couple in love...and separated by war. Someday soon, her man will be home. He will be safe and happy in her arms, once again. I dedicate this song to the Fong family (The Kitchen Dispatch). While we dance slowly, whether together or alone, let's dance and hold on tightly (physically or spiritually) to those so very dear to us. Gotta song? Leave a link in comments and thanks for stopping by. Please pray for our troops and their families. Great Reader ruv's you looong time. Very long time. Have a wonderful weekend...from JG & Wife 4 Life, the lovely Kim.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

MilBlogger Needs Help

C.J. Grisham from "A Soldier's Perspective" needs some help. Many bloggers are spreading the word. For details and links go HERE to BOUHAMMER's AFGHAN BLOG for the complete story. I met C.J. at Blog World Expo 2009 (Las Vegas) and he's one very great guy. Thanks looong time!!!

Tiger Troubles Part II

Welcome to the 9-1-1 Greater Orlando Area Transport Services and how can GOATS help you today?

I have an emergency medical transport but it must be discreet.

Discreet, huh? You're coming up "Private Caller" on my caller ID but I'm good at guessing celebrity voices, is this...

Ma'am, I just want an ambulance. No lights. No siren. I want my privacy...that's all I ask...

You know you sound just like that cat on TV doing commercials for those Frosted Flakes...

Look Ma'am, just send an ambulance of some kind to the Tiger Woods estate in the Isleworth subdivision and please be discreet about it.

No problem Mr Woods and thanks for letting us get your GOATS.


Monday, December 7, 2009

God Bless our WWII Generation

They answered the call. The mission was clear in Europe and Asia. Thank them... Honor them... Remember them...and please pray for our brave men and women serving today and their families.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Spay or Neuter?

Hello, and welcome to the State of Florida's S.P.C.A. spay or neuter hotline.
How may I help you?

Can you neuter a very large cat?

That will require a bigger fee but yes, we can do that.

Money is not a problem.

Very good. Your name, the city you live in, and the
cat's name, please?

Elin Woods, of Orlando. His name is Tiger.

Trial Smile

From the L.A. TIMES: North Korean rights groups want Kim put on trial
"A South Korean-based coalition, acting on behalf of 150 refugees, is pushing the international court at The Hague to charge Kim Jong Il. It presents the refugees' accounts of the brutal regime."

And now a comment from Great Reader KIM Jong IL...
"ooo...I so scared. You gonna send me Brill Clinton again? Or mayblee have President
Baawack Whosenamed Obama come Pyongyang and bow down for me? Bwahahahahahaha!!! There's a glood reason why that coalition is Souf Korean-based, Broseph! Who is this Hague? Some sawed-off fat Preacher Man on TBN?!"

(Hat tip to Kanani for the newz!)

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

I ruv looong time the way our US Armed Forces move! So get up outta that chair and dance with our troops doing "I Love the Way You Move" a remake by Outcast. Gotta song? Leave it in comments and let's dance! It's Friday, have a great weekend Great Reader style!!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

KIM Jong IL Backdoors Tiger

Jihad Newz (DMZ)- It has been disclosed by the South Korean CIA that Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL has been the source of Tiger Woods' domestic problems. Seen here is an exclusive photo of the Great Reader with Tiger's wife and child, out on the town. In other newz... JihadGene has screwed up and accidentally deleted his blogroll...awww shit.

Friday, November 27, 2009

It's Black Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Well it's brown...I mean, Black Friday and I have re-written a song for all of you who laugh at the early bird shoppers like me! Yes, I was out there and in the zone! That is until the Thanksgiving dinner decided it was time for me to purge. Oh's Friday so let's dance to CCR's "Run Through the Jungle" somewhat rewritten by JihadGene. Enjoy and if you have a shopping tune please leave a link in comments and remember that the Great Shopping Reader ruv's you LOOONG time!!! Now where the hell's the Imodium AD?
(*I dedicate this song to Mr Crap Blogger Extraordinaire ELISSON and to the lovely TAMMI who's Mama Vi works as a greeter in a Wal*Mart!)


Whoa, parking lot was a nightmare
Low prices callin' you!
Greeter told me, "Don't go walkin' slow
WalMart shoppers on the loose!"

Better run through the WalMart!
Better run through the WalMart!
Better run through the WalMart!
I'll save greenbacks, you'll see!!!

Turkey had my belly rumblin'
Toilets called my name
Two hundred million Mexicans in the restroom
Satan laughed at my pain!!!

Better drive to my bathroom!
Better drive to my bathroom!
Better drive to my bathroom!
I'm sportin' a turtle-head, ya see?!!!

Over in my Toyota
With bowels about done broke
I floored my FJ Cruiser now
My ass be blowin' smoke!!!

Better run through the red lights!
Better run through the red lights!
Better run through the red lights!
Whoa, Don't you Cops be stoppin' me!!!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving Memories

JihadGene here with a Thanksgiving memory from the 1960's. As I looked back into my childhood, I had a hard time finding a nice Thanksgiving one. It's kind of hard to have joyful California Thanksgiving memories when your Mom was a devout Jehovah's Witness. Mom was always sitting on "pins and needles" waiting for Armageddon to come. That would be when my Mom's loving Jehovah God would lay waste to all or most of our neighborhood and kill off a few dozen of my best friends in a holy fire of rain and if she (Mom) was lucky, she'd get to see Jehovah open up the ground and swallow up worldly people by the house-load! Hell yeah!!! Yes, Thanksgiving in California was a special time I guess. Well, it really was special as we had no school on a Thursday and my Dad was home from work, yelling at us kids as we ran outside, to "Shut the Goddamn door so you won't let any of the Goddamn flies out!" Dad hated was a thing left over from WWII and his having been a US Marine on Guadalcanal during that time. Our house was located near a Spreckles sugar factory and stockyard in Manteca, California. We had flies and good weather pretty much year round! Dad was always armed with a fly swatter to smack flies with. Mom only packed a swatter to hit us kids with. Dad had malaria but he never cursed the mosquitoes. Like many Marines in that hell hole, Dad eventually contracted malaria and was shipped out to some other island, so I guess that's why he never cursed the mosquitoes. Mosquitoes were his ticket outta Guadalcanal and away from getting bombs dropped down on him from some Mitsubishi (Betty) bombers. Dad hated the very word, Mitsubishi, because of this... yet I never heard him curse a mosquito. Now, back to Thanksgiving! I remember Thanksgiving 1966 for this if nothing Dad bought the most hideous turkey the free world has ever seen! He got it dirt cheap and believe me as a Texas kid raised on a farm during the meant everything!! Guys like my Dad helped make China and the WalMart's what they are today!!!

"Imagine if you will (sounding like Rod Serling) a Thanksgiving turkey from a fifth dimension, beyond ugly which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as a Butterball. It is the middle ground between light and dark meat, between culinary science and superstition. It is a turkey with the top one 3rd of it's breast/chest area removed as if with a chainsaw. A Doctor Mengele hack job leaving only a hideous gaping hole on top with the legs in their normal upright position. It was the stupidest looking Thanksgiving turkey anyone had ever seen."

I was only a 12 year old boy back then but Jehovah God... I knew f@cking stupid when I saw f@cking stupid!!! Holy shit! Did I tell you my Dad loved stuffing? Why, hell yes he loved stuffing...being as my Mom was the world's worst cook and the only things she could make were beans with cornbread and burned bird with an asbestos stuffing! I won't even talk about her burnt pancakes with the pudding-filled middles. Where was I? Oh... My Dad loved stuffing and as I saw it this butchered bird was his ticket into my Mom's New World (Jehovah's Witness code for heaven or Utopia) because inside of that gigantic bird's chain-sawed crater my Mom had filled it with about 50lbs of Safeway stuffing. In leveling it
(the stuffing) with a Sears Craftsman hand trowel my Mom made that turkey look like a tabletop mountain with wings and legs or some kind of a birdworld aircraft carrier. Your choice. It was plain God awful ugly, folks! Worse yet, there was hardly any white meat! I loved the white! After bowing my head and faking a prayer to the Jehovah God who would off my friends, I quickly gave the illusion of eating and excused myself. As I ran out the door to a friend's house for Thanksgiving left-overs I remember my Dad yelling at me, "Don't let the Goddamn flies out!"
Happy Thanksgiving LOOONG time!!! JG;)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Word From Joe Biden

Now, as all of you know, I have been brainstorming with the President about the war in Adirondackistan. It is a costly war to say the least. I mean, have you seen those NY state taxes?! And the chairs those weirdos make up there... in their mountain caves... are about as uncomfortable as a Negro at a police lineup in Nacogdoches! It has therefore been decided that the American people will not support this war when facing a surtax. With that in mind, plus the fact that the Prez has been away in Kimchi-land showing off his barackwondo, I have recommended a war more palatable to the American people. My fellow Americans, I give you a new and more economical war! A war against an enemy that has sucked up all of Obama's air time on most major TV and cable news channels! A war against an enemy of both the Catholic Church and abortion rights activists! A foe that makes fun of Nuns! This enemy has even been seen in the company of BANDITS! I hereby announce that I, Big Joe Biden, propose to YOU... the people of the United States, that we immediately attack...and carpet-bomb with great prejudice...the hiding place of Miss Sally Field, in the country of Boniva! Our latest intel has her position fixed at the Roche Laboratories near a Fox News transmitting station. Thanks for your continued support and I'll notify the Air Force shortly. I love it when Obama's gone!!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving Iraq

A very happy Thanksgiving message to our troops stationed in Iraq!

And now a US Army Sergeant's song about his current duty station in Iraq. He may not be a sergeant or a You Tube rapper for much longer (once the Army finds out) so hurry up and put your hands together for Sgt Conklin doing "This Place Blows (IRAQ)". A happy Thanksgiving looong time to all our US Armed Forces...wherever you are!!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

From coast-2-coast...from far east to far west...our US Troops are the very best...LOOONG TIME!!! So get up outta that chair and dance with our troops like ya got a pair!!! It's Friday! Let's Dance like RockStars and God bless all our troops and their families, wherever they are in the world!!! HOOAH and HELL YEAH!!! Can I get a "Hell Yeah"?

Monday, November 16, 2009

Ben, Matt, and a Good Man

My SOUTH of Fresno son, Ben...wearing black shirt & white helmet... was violently attacked by a heathenish aggressor named Matt, wearing white, from the NORTH (Fresno) at the Marc Unger Karate Tournament in Exeter, CA.! There were many good battles and my son lost by one point. Matt was awarded the title of "Super Grand Champion" that day (Saturday, 11-14-09) and he truly deserved it! Ben and Matt are both 14 year olds. In the next few months there is a karate tournament in the scum-sucking North (Fresno). Ben's only wish is that Matt will not turn age 15 any-time-soon as Ben goes north to Pyongyang (Fresno) in hopes of a rematch in the next few months. It's on!!!

“Whatever your hand finds to it with all your might” (Eccl 9:10)

Now...I told you all this but I wanted to tell you too about Pastor Marc Unger. Mr Unger is a US Army National Guard Chaplain. His son, US Army National Guard Specialist, Daniel Unger was killed in Iraq (May 2004). Under fire, Daniel helped rush some Iraqi civilian workers to safety before seeking shelter for himself and was mortally wounded in the process. Spec Daniel Unger put others before himself and died helping others. He was posthumously awarded the bronze star for his bravery that day. At the Karate tournament there was recognition of active duty personel, their families, and our nation's veterans. An opening prayer was given by Mr Unger, the pledge of allegiance said, and our national anthem sung beautifully by a young lady. It was moving! If you want to read about a man making a difference then please read about Army Chaplain and black belt Karate instructor Marc Unger HERE.

God bless the Unger family, our troops and their families... looong time!!! JG

Friday, November 13, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Though I am Army Strong...I gotta give it to the Navy for this music video. Give it up for those Sun Kings doing "Hey Ya", by Outcast! It's Friday! Let's dance!!! If you have a Friday dance tune leave it in comments and I'll drop in! Remember...
Great Reader RUV's YOU LOOONG TIME and have a wonderful weekend!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veterans Day

Been out of the service (US Army) for over twenty years now but I still feel such a connection...or maybe it's a bond, I guess. Never was too much of a soldier. Didn't fight some enemy, other than drunk Soldiers and Marines while on M.P. duty. Still, I was a soldier. It's not a case of the older I get...the better I was. It's the experience of having served with fine men and women, some sorry ones too, but make no mistake...we are joined at the hip. When they hurt, we hurt. It's a little before sunrise and I will fly flags today at the entrance to our home as well as on the house itself. I'm proud of my country. Proud of our troops. If I get a tad pushy with the with it...and give me a wide berth. Take the time to thank a Vet and their family. My favorite Vet is at the cemetery. I miss you, Dad.

Friday, November 6, 2009

No Dance Friday

I am heart-broken, sickened, and angered at the news of yesterday's slaughter at Ft Hood. Our prayers go out to the families and friends of the deceased and wounded. God bless our troops and their families. Continue the mission. FIDO!

Friday, October 30, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Friday? Already?! Let's see...I sure was sad to hear about the passing of Soupy Sales. He made me and my brother laugh so much as kids in the 1960' join in and dance with the Great Reader, Soupy, and Pookie to some Motown. Put on your high-heeled sneekers because it's Friday! Let's dance... and since it's a PayDay weekend don't forget about Project Valour-IT!
Miss you looong time, Soupy!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Psycho-Unlogical Warfare

Pyongyang Peggy here with another Norf Korean web-radio broadcast to all you lonely US Army G.I.'s in Iraq named Kevin. Kev, it is with the utmost sorrow that I must publish the following photo of Miss Ewe Luv Dolly of Madison, Wisconsin. That's right G.I. Kev...your Miss Dolly has jumped the fence and been reported partying with some blue-eyed round-eyed infidels in the "Volunteer to Show Me What You Got State" of Tennessee with the likes of a mother named Teresa and some Straight White Guy! She likes bloggers looong time, Kev. There's no way around it. She is one of ours, Kev. A wocket scientist for Norf Korea! Ewe has discarded you! Ewe are less than nothing! Poo on Ewe!
Here's a picture of her clackin' one off randomly at some FOB in Iraq just yesterday ...

Now Kevin, I know you must be hurt, but for the good of the axis of evil and for Barbara Boxer's reelection in 2010... join forces with Great Reader KIM Jong IL! Just throw down any weapons you haven't already dropped (like your 240B machine gun) and register as a Democrat! On second thought, it would be much better to give a donation to Project Valour-IT for those hideous flight-line-losers on TEAM AIR FORCE! Maybe you have a thing for Somali pirate women, no? Then perhaps TEAM NAVY is your cup of tea! If you're a fan of no frills latrines then TEAM MARINES would be a good match for you! If you want to be a winner, then you just stick with TEAM ARMY. I know this news about Dolly will leave you feeling like an empty and shallow person but according to Uncle Jimblow of BLACKFIVE and Tankerbabe, you already are one. Enjoy you tour of duty looong time, Kev!!!! That is all.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Kim Jong Il Crazy?

Meanwhile somewhere in Joe Biden's enemy held territory of West Korea...we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL, Dicktater of Norf Korea, looking at the latest intel gleaned from the internet...

KIM- What?! I'm kraygee (Korean 4 crazy)? BWAHAHAHA!!!! General Wang, come crick!

WANG- Coming quickly, Sir! What's wrong?

KIM- Look at cumpooter. See this artickle by Rooters? (HERE)

WANG- It's Reuters, Sir...but's titled "Why it's sane for Kim Jong Il to be crazy".

KIM- Did you knows it ownree takes 33 minutes for an ICBM from Norf Korea to hit America?

WANG- Only 33 minutes, Sir?

KIM- 33 minutes.

WANG- So you are crazy while Obama cuts missile defense and gets a Nobel Peace Prize?

KIM- (looking really nuts)

...33 minutes, General Wang... 33 minutes...

Money for Stop Loss Troops

Know someone who got caught up in Stop Loss...that's where troops who were due to get out of the service were involuntarily extended to complete tours of duty in exotic places like Iraq or Afghanistan? Well those troops, who served between 11 Sept 2001 and 30 Sept 2009, are due $500 more per month for time served (sounds like prison) or otherwise known as being involuntarily extended. I knew an MP who got caught up in that crap and his service time was extended so he could have another fun-filled complete tour of Iraq with the US Army. He took it well...but I thought it sucked an extra large bowl of hot sour owl shit or Korean kimchi soup (which are the same thing, really). Hey, I never claimed to be a good don't be supplized! Many troops got out of the service and may not receive word of this so if you know of anyone please let them know as I...#1 Firmly believe they deserve it...and #2 I'm sure they could use the extra cash in these "Days of Wine and Roses" with Team Obama. Speaking of teams... GO TEAM ARMY for Project Valour-IT!!! Here's the Military dot com article on stop loss funds HERE!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Warrior Song

With the Taliban acting up and President Obama all wee-wee'd up...unable to make a decision on Afghanistan or where he should play golf next... I needed to see and hear this. Special thanks to USA_Admiral where I saw this gem. If ya can, please support our wounded service members by giving to Project VALOUR-IT! God bless our brave warriors and their families!!!

Monday, October 26, 2009


Project Valour-IT is something I have contributed to for sometime now. It's voice activated laptop computers so injured troops can blog & e-mail friends and family back home or buddies back in the war zone. Folks, body armor is good but it does not protect the hands. Go to The Kitchen Dispatch and learn more about Project VALOUR-IT founded by US Army Major Chuck Ziegenfuss. It's a very good thing to be a part of and I, the Great Reader, am more than pleased to help out. So in doing for others (what their hands cannot do) you are helping to fix hearts of the wounded and from there... to their loved ones, and so on. Good begets good! I cannot say that enough. This will bless so many people...and it will touch you as well. Give what you can and it won't go to waste. I guarantee it looong time!!! To donate go HERE at Soldier's Angels. You can pick which team to be on as we are doing a competitive fundraiser with the following teams:

*Team Army is the best in whole world and Great Reader, KIM Jong IL's, fav-O-rite, looong time!!!

*The number 4 in Korea is considered a bad numba. Perfect for these Department of Defense pork dollar powered heathens!

*These guys are numba 4 times 2! Perfect for those who are fond of Spongebrob Squareplants!

*They are explanation needed. "Semper Fi" on that, Jarheads!

*The competition runs today through November 11th (Veteran's Day) and give to whichever team your heart belongs to. It can be a little bit... or a SCUD-LOAD! It's up to you...but please give something as it will be doing much good. Good begets good. It really does.

Message to SaveMart Pharmacy

It's no secret that I am no big fan of change. The older I get...oh well...the older I get, I guess. I get my meds where we buy groceries most often and close to home. Now when you phone in for your medication they have a new and improved automated's my e-mail to the SaveMart Grocery Store Company Headquarters of Lake Pissmeoff, California...
"The new system of calling in for a prescription is really a big pain. The old way was better. If the new system understood the words "you suck" I would not have to e-mail you. I don't dare call as the new system either can't understand my English or if my timing is off when I say the words yes, no, or go to hell. WTF? Whoever came up with the new and improved system of prescription handling should be made the next Presidential Phone Call Czar. Don't call my house as I would only do my very best to piss you off the way your new telephonic prescription refill system does me."

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Target Helps Troops in Afghanistan

Target Stores are awesome! So is the American Legion, and my brog friend, Tankerbabe! Go and read why at BLACKFIVE (Shopping at Target).

Ruv You Looong Time, Tankerbabe!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Still hung over from the Blog World Expo 2009 in Las Vegas...I have chosen this song. They played it Friday night in the Jet Night Club at the Mirage. WE MILBLOGGERS ROCKED THAT PLACE LOOONG TIME!!! It's Friday! Even if you have the flu like us, let's dance!!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Great Reader Reports on Blog World Expo 2009

Great Reader KIM Jong IL here! My lee-port on Brogg Wirld Explode 2009 I have put to music. Do you leemember Charlie Daniels' "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"? WEll here ya go...

KIM Jong IL went down to VEGAS, he was looking for COMMANDER SALAMANDER or sum NAVY SEALS.
BOSTON MAGGIE was TRADING TWITTAH's, to make a deal.
THEN CHUCK ZEIGENFUS jumped upon C.J. GRISHAM (who ain't NO CHUMP) and said: "Boy let me tell you what:
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a STAR TREK VULCAN too.
"And if you'd care to take TAMMY MUNSON's dare, I'll FIND AN INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR (code for Hooker) for you.
"Now you FLY a pretty good PLANE, MR WOLF, but give DELTA WHISKEY her due:
"I bet BARMY MAMA against the Dalai Lama, 'cuz I think LTC ARATA and MAJ. COSENTINO are better than you."
The gal said: "My name's Mrs BOUHAMMER and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cuz I'm the best DANCER that's ever been."

UNCLE JIMBLOW you GET UP OFF YUR ASS...QUIT playin' your fiddle hard.
'Cuz KIM JONG IL's broke loose in Neveda and THE KITCHEN DISPATCH deals it hard.
And if you win you get these shiny SOLDIER's ANGELS WINGS made of gold.
But if you lose, KANANI's daughter gets a round-trip ticket to SEOUL.

TCOVERRIDE opened up his case and he said: "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from HIS GIMLET LIPS as HE SPIED FOR A BRIDE, down the casino's road.
And he pulled THIS BRIDE across his TABLE and only gave her a LOUSY KISS. (a clean peck)
Then the pair of GREYHAWK HEATHENS joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Major finished, JihadGene said: "Well, that's pretty piss-poor, son."
"But if you'll sit down in that chair, right there, and let me show you how its done."

Fire off some WOCKETS, wun boys, wun!!!
The GREAT READER's in the house of Elvis, son!!!
Chicken with some ginseng and pickin' my nose!!!
"KIMMY, does your dog bite?"
"No, child, no!!!"

Then That 1 GUY bowed his head because he rode his Harley there, truly beat.
JihadGene bows down in honor at that tired bikers feet.
AND WE ALL said: "UNCLE JIMBO and KEV just come on over if you ever want to WALK again.
"I told you TANKER-OF-A-BABE and TAMMI my friend,
You missed the greatest party that's ever been!!!"

And they sang some AC/DC... run boys, run!!!
The B-FIVE CREW's in the house of ALL NIGHT FUN!!!
CHUCK's gonna be blowing chunks... I just know!!!
"Say baby, aren't you an independent contractor?"
"No, child, no!!!"

*Sorry to those I'm missed or dissed! I had the time of my life!!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'm Outta Here

Gone fishing. No...I'm really headed out the door to Blog World Expo 2009. I'll be back on Sunday and remember...
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL ruvs you looong time!!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Flashback and Recruiters

My Dad told me in 1972 to steer clear of the USMC recruiters. He was a Marine who served in WWII at Guadalcanal. I went Army. I got a feelin' these guys must be Army recruiters, looong time!! Look out for the foul language (as usual) here at Great Reader!

(*hat tip to Mongo of Mongo's Montreaux who I ripped this off from!)

Monday, October 12, 2009

KIM Jong IL 's Peace Prize Response

Meanwhile somewhere north of the Samsung HD-LCD TV factories, in the "Land of the Morning Missile Launch", we find Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL checking the news on his computer...


KIM: Hmmm...must check cumpooter for news of whole wirld. Let's see, US dollah falling...good, no supplies(surprise) there...hmmm... People's still tawking about Obamamma's NoaskNotell Piece Prize...OK......hmmm...WHAT?! WTFRUCK? General Wang!!!

WANG- Right here, Great Reader! What's wrong?

KIM- Look at Dludge Leeport...

WANG- Looking at Drudge Report, Sir.

KIM- (pointing) You see how Obamamma is winner of Piece Pwize?

WANG- Yes, Sir...

KIM- Now just skoal down with mouse and look..THERE!

WANG- Sir! What should we do?

KIM- Those bearded pieces-of-fee-sizz (feces) have jumped the shark! Mudder puckers! Those Towelibands can not be twusted!

WANG- I'll have five short range rockets launched immediately, Sir!

KIM- Very good. If anybody is to make a states-meant about "Mr Peace Pwize Pwesident", it's Great Reader KIM Jong IL...not those goat molesters of the Hidefromu Puss (hindu kush) mountains!!

WANG- Rockets are launched, Sir.

KIM- Very good. Now get me a Shirley's Temple.

WANG- Umbrella?

KIM- (rolls eyes) Well, hell yes...duh?!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Word Association Time

Let's play word association!

This is for Pam over at Pamibe! What's yours, huh?

1. My treat:: What Obama says when he gives away my money
2. Bell :: A lady named Ma who has ripped me off like Obama, but not so much.
3. Five :: As in a 5 finger discount...what the IRS does to my profits.
4. You’re crazy :: Well, no shit, Sherlock!!! Works for me and Joe Biden!
5. Disgust :: Having an old shithead named McCain run as your Republican choice for President!
6. Tempest :: An old used car like the one Obama is trying to sell us in the form of health care.
7. Bummer :: Smoking some "Primo" dope on Sunset Beach with a prick named Barack and then seeing his old lady (Michelle) in a bikini.
8. Brim :: A Barack rim-job.
9. Hose :: As in hosed-down. Why are all these words about our government and it's leaders?
10. Lollipop :: Date night with Barney Frank.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Blues Flu's

My lovely wife Kim is sick with the flu. She, being the hard working gal that she is...added to the fact that she's a stubborn Korean...makes for today's blog post. I have not been by to visit many of you as I have had to try and keep the wife from working at our Mom-n-Pop clothing store, "Fashion Thug". The leg irons and hand cuffs have pretty much done the job (of keeping her home) till she fashioned a cuff key from a paper clip. I asked our 14 year old son to hold her down while I water-boarded her but he pointed out that it might just make her worse off, cold/flu wise. So far the bars on the windows, razor wire, guard towers, and claymore mines seem to be working out. We'll see.
I've been putting in many hours at our shop lately and my visits to other blogs have been few and far between. Sorry about that. I know you'll understand, though... as I not only have to work in our shop but inspect the guards at shift change then issue weapons, tasers, and CS gas. Later I have to put more chlorine in the moat and feed the alligators. The Doberman's can wait...I like 'em to be hungry. You understand how it is, don't you? Anyways... I showed her how some of you wished her well and that brought out her lovely smile (underneath the blindfold) looong time! Thanks, el mucho, for that. I think the hardest part of her being sick is trying to keep her away from work. She's a very hard worker and I just want to say that our marriage is living proof that opposites do indeed...oooh, how should I say this? Oh quotation marks...


Ruv you all LOOONG time!!!

JihadGene & Kim

Friday, October 9, 2009

Breaking News!

BAGHDAD BOB- Hello, all of you INFIDELS, and greetings from Fresno, California! Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled Fox Nude's and Friends broadcast but I have breaking news, Praise Allah!!! It seems your ChiLite-Kenyan-Hawaiian leader...
Barack Saddamacornhussein Obama... has once again stolen an award from the grave of a dead man... No, not Al Gore!...I'm talking about Saddam Hussein! Even in death, Saddam Hussein is greater than your American Great Grandma of a Satan, Nancy Pelosi! If anyone should have received the Nobel Peace Prize it should have been...

KANYE WEST- 'Scuse me for interrupting, Muh-Fugger...but wiff out a doubt, Beyonce is the best Nobel Piece Prize Winner of all time, e'va! Speakin of's former Green Jobs Czar, Van Jones...

VAN JONES- Assholes!!!

WALTER CRONKITE- And that's the way it is, on JihadGene's television. We now return you to our normally scheduled program "John Kerry, Hero of North Vietnam" starring Paul Lynde.