Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Hey, Bartender!

The latest from Pyongyang! Great Bartender, KIM Jong IL, has announced a new drink to help break the "nice" with westerners! Created by our very own Great Reader, it's a drink containing MSG, garlic-vodka, kimchi-Kahlua, and Soju. It's called the "KIM JONG IL,NUKE-WE-ARE, EYE-SHE-B-M"! We at Great Reader highly recommend the derux drink. It comes complete with a complementary pink for $5 dollah (US)! WARNING: The DPRK's Sturgeon's General Office warns that consumption of this drink could cause a severe case of EMP (electromagnetic pulse) or pregnancy in unsuspecting sheep.

Jimmy Carter and Halloween

I dressed up for Halloween and went to visit Jimmy Carter in the hospital! I went as the ghost of Ted Kennedy in a nurse's uniform. Trick or Treating is cool! The Secret Service didn't think so...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

California's Homeless Veterans

My Gawd, we have a bunch of homeless veterans out here! All the real ones live out here in Central California! Why, just this week alone, I must have met a platoon or more of many a former Recon-Airborne-Sniper-Ranger-SEAL-Force-Green-Berets out on the street, homeless, and asking for spare change. You'd be surprised at how many of them graduated from West Point! We must help provide them with much needed beer, drug, and smoke money! They've earned it! Earned it from the Hall's of Menthol Lyptus... to the shores of Tennessee!!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Great Reader KIM Jong IL, here. Gene's birfday is coming up soon. Gene is a ZEBRA (Libra)and an Elvis fan. He received an early birfday gift yesterday via YOUPEE-S from his Elder Sister Carol. It was an Elvis Potato Head doll(that's potatoe if you are a Dans Quails). Anyways, it's time that ol' KIM Jong IL broke out the white jumps-suit and did some Elvis tunes! ask? Becluzz IT'S FLYDAY! So let's DANCE!!!Have a great weekend everybody! I'm Great Reader KIM Jong IL and I'm proof of this message!
If you have a cool dance tune or Elvis video put in comments and thanx looong time!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

A Great Dog Story

Go over to The Warrior Class and read a wonderful "Dog Story" by a cannon-cocker called Six. It's titled "HERE CHRISI". This story is about an old dog with pride. A tale of honor and respect...and teaching those lessons to some web-footed heathens. A real fun read. I look at my 2 dogs and I know they have some Chrisi in them as well. Matter of fact, one of them is giving me the "What?" look right now. Enjoy.

Friday, September 17, 2010

It's Fly Day Friday! Let's Dance!!!

It's Friday! Wow! Already September 17th? Cool! Well...I feel it's time for some dancing, hip-hop style, being as the Great Reader is so very fly looong time! Speaking of FLY how's about a rap song done by our "eyes in the sky"...the AWACS folks in the US Air Force?! Oh, yeah, baby! That's the ticket! God bless all our troops, their families, and all of you LOOONG time!!! It's Friday! Let's Dance!!! (If ya have a cool tune-link, leave it in the comments and we'll dance some more!)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remembering 9-11-01

We remember 9-11-01. Never forgetting. Never forgiving terror nor those who do it. We are the hard workers of America. We honor our warrior class. We are the real Americans.

Friday, September 10, 2010

It's Friday ! Let's Dance Some More!!!

This is too good!!! Thanks looong time to Lee Ann!

KIM Jong IL Declares War

Meanwhile somewhere north of the DMZ, north of the Imjin River, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader,
KIM Jong IL stunned by the latest news...

KIM: General Wang!!!

WANG: Right here, Sir! What's wrong?!

KIM: Look at cumpooter screen! Look what the Matt's Dludge Leeport says!!! Those heathen-bastard so-called christian pastors are burning KOREANS!!! I'm will knotts tolerate this! I'm will make thems all pay LOOONG time for this!!! They will feel a suffering-succotash pweeviously unknown to manskind! Fuel the Don Ho derux model ICBM&M's!!! Pweepare for launching of a "full-broan" wocket attack!!!

WANG: Sir, those pastors are burning KORANS. Not... KOREANS. No need for a full blown attack, Sir.

KIM: Wheelie?

WANG: Really, Sir.

KIM: Stand down.

WANG: 10-4.

*Hat-tip to Chuck Ziegenfuss for the inspiration!

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Friday? It's Friday? Wow! This week shot right by. I'm feelin' a song coming on. I got me a Korean karaoke jones on! It's Friday!! So get up outta those chairs and dance with the Great Reader!!! Later we'll go out for some Korean barbecue...what do ya say?! If you have a dance tune feel free looong time to link it in the comments section and always remember that Great Reader ruv's you all very LOOONG time!!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Michelle Says Yes We Can

Yes we our troops now. Michelle Obama asks us to "Support our troops "NOW" and into the future". I guess many of us have screwed up by supporting our brave men and women in the military during previous presidential administrations. Thanks to Michelle for the clarification...bitch! Yeah, I said it. Unfriend me if you can't handle it. It's all good in the Milblog Hood. Here's the video...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Obama Finally Man's Up

And now a word from our great President:
My fellow Muslim-Christian Americans...I now realize that you have grown weary of my blaming George W. Bush for this "Summer of Catastrophic Recovery". Now, being that I am a man...I have decided to "Man Up" on the economy. In so doing, I will now blame my wife, Michelle for everything. Thank you.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

KIM Jong IL Going Rogue

‎She should have kept her job as Governor of I'llaskya. Instead she went on the "I am Fox News Famous Now so I'll Make Bank and Help Out the Worthless John McCain Tour".
Her MOOSE is cooked...LOOONG time!!!
-KIM Jong IL on Sarah Palin

Blog Friends and Good Housekeeping

As I write this...somewhere north of the DMZ, norf of Bakersfield, CA...I'm still smiling over the wonderful visit we had with Mil-SurgeonArmySpouseFashionYogaCatDog- Blogger extraordinaire, Kanani Fong, of The Kitchen Dispatch,and her great kids. Like Kanani, her kids are just plain nice and lots of fun! Thanks to Kanani's visit, the wife and I were motivated to clean the place up somewhat...but not too much. Here is some of my lovely wife's very savvy Korean wisdom on housecleaning for company..."We clean the house but not too clean. A house too clean will just make the guests uncomfortable. Remember, there is no perfectly clean house, only hospitals. For someone you really like...leave some dust!"
WoooHooo!!!! I RUV my wife very looong time!!! Invigorated by her great wisdom, I helped perform housekeeping duties as instructed by my Korean Minister of Good Housekeeping. Thanks to her the time my wife, son, and I were done the looked good enough for the cover of "Better Homes in Dust Bowls". It was good. We were as ready as ready could get. Bring on the guests! Enter Kanani Fong & Company...
Did you ever have family come visit that were lots and lots of fun?! Ever have a visit from a friend who's kids were that enjoyable too?! If not, I understand...that's a rarity...but it all happened here in the California Central Valley Dust Bowl, Sunday! I'm swears,looong time! When they drove off for L.A. my son smiled and said..."I miss them already. I hope they come back soon." I looked at my lovely wife whose Korean eyes were smiling, telling all. Us too, we too. The visit was that very-very good.
So, the moral of this true story is..."If ya come to our house and it's spotlessly clean. Steer clear. You are not welcome."
But for Kanani & Company, we'll keep the dusty and moth-eaten red carpet rolled out LOOONG time!!!

Friday, September 3, 2010

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Make no mistake about it...I RUV our US Armed Forces LOOONG time!!! Even those damned Navy squid-heathens! For-sure a sailor's life out on those boats isn't always "Top Gun glorious". Even when out in the middle of nowhere, you can make some life-long friends. That's what's so special, when you look back into your military past. Your friends. Real honest to goodness friends. YES! Hey, it's Friday already?! Let's Dance and keep all our wonderful men and women, in uniform, in our prayers! Day and night they serve all of us doing exciting and not so exciting jobs. They do it all...all for us. God bless 'em all and you too! Have a wonderful weekend and fly those flags!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Democrat History 101

And now, a word from the President of the United States:
My fellow Americans, I have taken time away from my busy holiday schedule to provide you with a teachable moment in US history. Today, September 2, 2010 marks the 65th anniversary of a date only important to Conservative voters. For it was on September 2, 1945 that Japan's previously un-nuked proud Emperor, Mr. Toyota HitachiHirohitoSuzukiSushi, was forced by American war generals to sign the devastating papers of surrender live on CSPAN! The horrific surrender ceremony was held aboard the USS Arizona...or some other US Army aircraftbattlecruiser, named after one of our 57 other states. The poor Emperor was sooo devastated by the ugly Americans that it took more than a dozen Navy Corpsemen to revive him. After signing the papers the Emperor was immediately transported to Guantanamo Bay, Iraq...where he was made to do Kabuki theater performances for the entertainment of evil female prison guards. The lesson here is to know your history, my fellow Americans. Thank you for your time.
(Hat tip to Katy Ward who inspired this post looong time!)