Saturday, May 31, 2008

Yesterday....

* Sing with me now, you Parents! Sing the Beatles "Yesterday" with JihadGene*

Yesterday, my HEATHEN SON seemed so far away
Now it looks as though HE'S here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the DAD I used to be,
There's a CLOUD OF DOOM hanging over me.
Oh, THE END OF SCHOOL came suddenly.

Why THE BUS DRIVER had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I DID something wrong (TO DESERVE THIS?), now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, PARENTING was such an easy game to play.
JUST SHIP HIM OFF TO SCHOOL,
AND HAVE A BEA-U-TI-FUL DAY.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.


***Yup. My son is out of school for the summer. I sure miss that yell'er school bus.
Miss it looong time!JG ;)

It really didn't sink in, that it was the last day of school, until the bus driver pulled away from the house like this...

Friday, May 30, 2008

The Great Dick Martin



I almost forgot you! Sorry.
Dick Martin
Jan 30, 1922- May 24, 2008.
Good night Dick!
Miss you looong time! JG

Someone I'll Miss Looong Time, Harvey Korman


Goodbye, Harvey Korman. You made me laugh so hard when you were trying, so very desperately, to stay in character despite the likes of Carol Burnett and Tim Conway. How they must be missing you! How I miss you, as well. Prayers to you, to all who laughed and lived life, with you.
Missing You Looong Time!JG

Hillary Hatin' Comes in all Colors...Catholic too!


DATELINE CHICAGO- Chi-towne's Trinity of Oprah Church had guest speaker Father P.F. FLYER (AKA- PFLEGER) create public outrage when showing up at church as a typical caucasion preacher-man. But then all hell broke loose when the REV did his Hillary Act! The congregation went wild (I would say ape-shit but I'd be accused of being racist)!We asked one of the congregation, a Mr I.B. Homeless, for his thoughts on tonight's sermon. Homeless said, "Like I could give a shit?! You got any spare change?Meanwhile denied access of his own former church, the Retired Reverend Wright was heard yelling-'I'm Black, I'm Entitled ... Now There's A White Man Stealing My Show!'We contacted the Reverend Al Sharpton for comment but he declined, saying "I'm busy changing batteries in this here bullhorn, go ask that bitch Reverend Jesse. Leave me outta this, Sucka"! Presidential HOPEful Barrack Who's-Named Obama said only, "Once elected by the Super Delegates, I will CHANGE all of this! It will be a much nicer world with me controlling the dumb-asses of Florida and Michigan, telling them when their votes can and will count"! We contacted Hillary Clinton for comment and could only make out the following between her heartbreaking sobs...."It'll be June soon....and just like Bobby Kennedy in '68"...
RUV YOU LOOONG TIME!!!
Great Reader JihadGene

Thursday, May 29, 2008

My Elder Sister Carol, an Update by jihadgene

Remember my elder sister Carol? The one who had her ass-kickin' knee replaced? The one who later fell down and couldn't get up? The one who looked like a raccoon after her fall? Well she's doing fine (crap)! Carol's the one who traumatized my ass, by washing my mouth out with soap at the tender age of only six! She took that toothbrush and loaded it up with 2/3rd's of a bar of Ivory, then thrust it where my tonsils used to be! I was only exercising my 2nd Amendment Rights...you know?....freedom of expression, and all that? I'm talking a six year old's creativity, here! Next thing I know, she has me deep-throatin' a Crest toothbrush! I think she was aiming for my voicebox but was unsure as to where it was located. She never was worth a damn at Science, so she just probed with that toothbrush for...oh...maybe like half an hour, before her hand started severely cramping-up. But I survived! I'm her kid brother. Why the hell do I still love her, ya ask?! Because we've shared so many tender moments together, such as this...

Great Reader KIM Jong IL On Today's MSM (Main Stream Monkeys)


Meanwhile somewhere in the "Yellow Cake District" of PyongYang, Norf Korea we find the DPRK's Great Reader KIM Jong IL, back at the computer screen....

KIM- Man, Americlaw's MSM is all flucked-up. A better Allie in Georgie W. Booshes "Axes of Evil" I'm could not ask for! What chew think, General Wang?

WANG- Indeed comrades Dan Rather, Katie Couric, Chris Matthews, and the Pelosi-lover, Charlie Gibson, have served us well, your Greatness!

KIM- Why you rattling off names of half-baked lackey's of TV Land?

WANG- But you did say the "MSM", your Most Ill-Informed One. I assume by that, you do mean the Main Stream Media, Great Reader.

KIM- WONG!!! (wrong)

WANG- Wrong, Sir?

KIM- Wong. Wong. WONG!

WANG- Please feel free to enlighten me, your Most Acronym-onious One?

KIM- For KIM Il Sung's sake! Does I'm gots to spells out everyting arounds here?!

WANG- Please, Sir.

KIM- Okray. Look here at monkey test.

WANG- I see, Sir. So when you refer to the MSM, you mean Main Stream Monkeys. These monkeys have such powers!

KIM- SHAZAM, Gomer! You're on-to something!

WANG- So, who are these Main Stream Monkeys that are also our Allies, in the Axis of Evil, Great One?

KIM- Who you think gives American Voters choices of John McLAME (McCain), Hill-ree CLINTON, and/or Baalackguy Who's-Named OBAMA?

WANG- You mean the RNC and the DNC

KIM- You on it rike vomit, General Wang.

WANG- SHAZAMM!!!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Barrack Who's-Named Obama Visits Veteran's Hospital. Michelle Obama Hauled Away by Security!



Meanwhile, somewhere in New Mexico, we find Barrack Who's-Named Obama and his wife Miracle-Whip, visiting a V.A. Hospital......

BARRACK- (to the press and public)
Yes, there is nothing better in this oppressive country of ours than visiting our veteran's I so revere, on this auspicious Memorial Day, a day in which I get to tell all living veterans thank you. I revere you. My wife, Mississippi, reveres you too! My former Pastor is a veteran! I could have been one too but, for the good of my Typical White Mom, I struggled through high school and got a diploma! I went on to college! Clearly I was meant for bigger things, and not to be a lowly guy with a rifle, swatting skeeters, in the middle of Fort Polk, La. Now, forward people! On to the veterans who will be given HOPE by my visit!

MICHELLE- (Sees a hospital security officer with badge)
Oh look Barry! See the man wearing the pointy star! That's a Jew, isn't it?! Don't you have a good Jew story for the press, Barry?

PRESS- (mumble, mumble) Jew story?

OBAMA- Well since it is Memorial Day and all, a day we honor all veterans.

PRESS- (mumble-mumble)

FOX NEWS GUY- But, Memorial day is to honor those who have died, while in uniform serving our country. Veterans Day is when we honor our veterans.

OBAMA- You've been brain washed by that Hannity fellow! I will CHANGE all of that. The military-industrial-machine has too many holidays as it is. When President, I will combine both holidays into one. November 11th can be Trans-Genderation Day!
Yes it can!

MICHELLE- Don't listen to that racist bastard! (People seem confused. Meanwhile the crowd is growing.) You assholes quit lookin' at Barrack! I'm talking about that FOX News Guy spreading his divisive lies against everyday, hard-workin', middle-class lawyer's, who are struggling folks like us!

OBAMA- (through his teeth)
That's nice, Dear. Calm down, Honey.

MICHELLE- Barry could'a got shot at a gas station while fillin' up his ride. Now I don't even worry about that, since Hillary has called out a HIT on him in June! Just like Bobby Kennedy! That BITCH! I'll get that pant-suited Hoe! You just wait and see! I got that Hootchie-Mamma Hillary's number! AND IT'S UP!!!

OBAMA- (watches as security hauls away Barrack's wife, Maytag)
Now let's see, where was I?

PRESS- Something about Jews.

OBAMA- Oh yes. My Uncle was a veteran, who in WWII personally liberated the Jews confined at Auschwitz. My Uncle corkscrewed in, under heavy sniper fire...I might add... and freed the remaining Jews not 15 minutes before the Russians showed up and stole all the credit. So, to all of you folks who are voting for me....Can you smell what OBAMA's cooking?

DEMOCRATS- YES WE CAN!!!

Monday, May 26, 2008

The German Beer Lady, John Anderson, and Bert



I wasn't long in Siegelsbach Army Depot when I met Bert. Bert was a good natured and funny guy from Indiana, who had that small town easy-going attitude and an adventuresome spirit. I was new in Germany and immediately fell in love with weizen beer,which we drank cold (us Americans anyway), served with a big slice of lemon...Whooo-Weee... nectar of the God's! So one day Bert, my assistant squad leader, says "Hey Sarge! Let's go see the beer lady in Siegelsbach. Save ya some money! She's got cases of it. Cheap too!" Cases of weizen beer? Cheap, too? Oh hell yeah! Next thing ya know we are at the beer lady's apartment. We ring the door bell and down the stairs lumbers this very plump and short 50 year old woman sporting a mustache a walrus would be proud of. Damn she's ugly, I'm thinking. Then following down the stairs behind her is another lady, obviously her sister, sporting a beard the Taliban would be proud of! I just look at Bert, smiling. Bert knowingly winks, as if to say...I know, but be cool. After having seen the beer ladies, I'm thinkin, they must sell some mean-assed beer. So Bert rattles off his German to them and we secure a case. Next thing ya know it's back to the barracks, drinking iced-down weizen beer (yes, we got lemons) and Bert says now we need some John Anderson. John Anderson? Never heard of him, I says.Well let me tell you (Bert says), "He's about the best country & western singer around". We drink, laugh, and I listen to Bert doing John Anderson...I don't know who's better, John Anderson, or Bert. The next day we're on duty as MP's at the nuke site and there, between the inner and outer perimeter fences of the tower-line, is Bert. With his M-16 slung, Vietnam era flak vest, web gear with ammo, his steel pot (Nam era helmet) raised above his head in his left hand, is Bert dancing and singing John Anderson's "Swinging". It was such an unexpected sight, I just laughed my ass off. What could I say. A typical American G.I.!
Later in the spring of 1985 Bert re-enlisted for the 101st Airborne Division. He wanted to go to the Army's Air-Assault School and be close to home (Spencer, Indiana) come harvest time (typical farm boy). I wished him good luck and thanked him. Later I got a post card from him. It was post-marked Clarkesville, Tennessee. Nice of him to send it. I hated writing. Phone calls were too expensive, back then. I was
thoughtless. I never replied.
....Now fast forward to 12 December 1985...I heard on Armed Forces Radio Network that a plane load of 101st Airborne Soldiers died in a plane crash at some place called Gander, Newfoundland. They were en route home for Christmas, after 6 months in Egypt on a UN Peace Keeping mission. My heart sank. I only knew of one guy in the 101st and it was Bert. I had a bad feelin'. I told my unit Chaplin about it. He said it was mostly infantry and he doubted any MP's were on board. I was a sergeant then and knew wherever troops went, so did M.P.'s. A couple of days later the Stars and Stripes published the names of those killed in the crash. I read the name...SGT Vergil L. Robertson Jr, unit- 101st MP Company, hometown- Spencer, Indiana. All my days Bert, I will never forget you. I will never again ignore a card or letter sent to me. I'm not so selfish or thoughtless now, Bert. I'm forever sorry I threw away that post card. SGT Gene.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Red Neck Stars in You Tube Video!

Hell-row! Great Reader KIM Jong IL here with a special bideo of Red Neck getting his yard mowed by GRAWDZILLA! It either be Grawdzilla or JihadGene's 12 year old son turned loose on the yard! Red Neck plays himself to a Tee, in this movie. For those of you who do yards-work, I'ms give you Godzilla for Hire 3!!!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

My Best Friend is Back ...or...Happy Happy Joy Joy!


My wife (Minister of South Korean Finance and the North Korean War Department) brought Chang home! Chang is a big love in my life and she is a West Highland White "Terrorist" (Terrier).
Chang just got home after a bunch of hundred dollar bills and after a couple of days in the Critter Hospital for tummy troubles. As soon as she got home she played sick for a couple of hours for my wife. Upon my return from work, she proceeded to take a dip in our pool (cement pond for you RED-NECKS) and promptly began chewing off the bandage on her left front paw covering where she had an I.V.. I scolded her. She went right up to me and couldn't stop licking my face. It was a great day and thanks to all concerned!!! Some say critters don't have souls. I don't agree. I don't agree, at. all.
Ruv You Loong Time!!! JihadGene and Family!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Light on Blogging Lately. My Best Friend is Sick.



Here's my best bud (with son's underwear on her head). She's been sick and spent last night in the critter hospital. Stomach problems. She's an 8 year old West Highland White Terrier and I love her tons. With all the crap going on all over the world, she (like blogging) are my great escapes. She's family. I feel like crap.JihadGene

Monday, May 19, 2008

For Our Wonder-full-of-it Congress and US Senate featuring JOHN McCAIN, JihadGene Gives You "South of the Border"!

South Of The Border

*As re-written FOR JOHN McCAIN by JihadGene*


South Of The Border



South of the border, down Mexico way.
That's where I fell in love when MEDIA CAMERAS came INTO
play.
And now as I PANDER, my thoughts ever stray (MAVERICK),
South of the border, down Mexico
way.

"I" was a vision in old spanish lace.
And for a tender while, I kissed the smile on the GRAY LADY'S (New York Times) face.
For it was NOM-IN-ATIONS and we were so gay,
South of the border, down Mexico way.

Ay ay ay ay, ay ay ay ay, ay ay ay ay ,ay ay ay ay

Then she smiled as she whispered manana,
Never dreaming that we were part-ing,
And I lied (nothin' new) as I whispered man-ana,
For the FENCE BUILD-ING never came.

South of the border, I'LL GET-EVEN (temper-temper!) one day,
There in a veil of white, by candle light, she knelt to pray.
The ZOGBY POLLS told me, WHAT I musn't SAY,
South of the border, down Mexico way.

Ay ay ay ay, ay ay ay ay, ay ay ay ay ,ay ay ay ay

**Now for the song as it was intended to be heard... with touristy-romantic-sexy-reptilian flavors... all rolled into one...Enjoy and remember, Great Reader KIM Jong IL Ruv's You Looong Time!!!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Dumb and Dumber: George Bush Tells Arabs They're Running Out of Oil! Opens a can of Whoop-Ass on American Diesel & Gasoline Consumers Instead!


Just saw this headline on DRUDGE saying, "Bush warns Arab Leaders: You're running out of oil..."
What's a barrell of oil goin' for right now (Sunday night)? And we still, sure-as-hell, aren't drilling!!! WTF you doing Georgie!!!? Hittin' the booze again? It's $4 a gallon in Jihad City, California, and that is for the CHEAP STUFF, bitch!!! You think statements like that are gonna bring oil prices down, ya dumb shit!? Are you moving the Crawford Ranch to "DUBAILAND" or what? Sheeezzzzzz...I can't afford anymore of this compassionate horseshit conservatism.What's oil gonna cost tomorrow? Will I be able to buy an ear of corn at the 4th of July picnic? Screw that... guess I'll just drink! JG

Rearing Three Teenage Daughters Makes Me Nuts by DeltaBravo


*Respectful DissKramer (disclaimer)- I ripped this comment here from the infamous, DELTABRAVO!

On the Raising of Multiple Teenage Daughters-

I look at my three teenagers and I have to say I sometimes wipe away a tear now and then when I think of the years that have flown by, and the young women they are growing up to be. And I think "I went through 28.5 months of pregnancy and 3 total days of induced heavy labor for THIS?"

Geez! Was I an axe murderer in a former life or something? Why am I being punished?

I have pondered the eons of parents who have sold their teenage daughters to gypsies and human traffickers. I imagine the parents who sold their daughters probably felt a twinge of sympathy for the people leading their offspring away.

I think the US military has it all wrong. We should allow teenage girls to fight in the front lines of combat. Send them all. Every last one of those hostile little weapons of mass destruction.

(People tell me it gets better when they are 21 or so. I will not enjoy that day from my padded cell at some State Hospital.)

Deltabravo


Great Reader Here! DellahBlavo if you're ever in Koweefornia stop by and visit JihadGene at Atascadero State Hospital
Ruv You Looong Time! Great Reader KIM Jong Mentally-IL

Republican Choices or Welcome to My World by Great Reader KIM Jong IL


Meanwhile somewhere in a humble palace, just a little north of the Souf Koreans. You knows the dishonorable Souf Koreans don'ts you? Their peoples slave and starve in the streets, bowing in homage five times a day, and mayblee Eight Days a Week, towards Clawford, Texas and prayings to Georgie Doublewoo Bushie for American Mad-Cow infested cuts of beef to quickly be imported so they can fill their Seoul-less bellies! Wheres was I? Oh yeah, meanwhiles somewhere north of the Cowards of the DMZ (US ARMY 2nd Infantry Div), we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL reflecting on CHOICES.....

KIM- You knows General Wang, those Americlans gots so's many choices.

WANG- How so, most Self-Enamored One?

KIM- Look here on giant-sized Chi-mart 20cm (8 inch) compooter screen.

WANG- Wow! So many cars!

KIM- And they are for sale to all USA peoples and ill-weegull immigrunts too! Man, they love those Ford and Dodge vans!

WANG- What's an illegal immigrant, Sir?

KIM- Mostly them are slaves of MEXICO's 3 AMIGO's!

WANG- The Three Amigos, Sir?

KIM- I'm talkin' Senator Lindsey Graham (R?-South MEXICO-lina), Senator Trent LOTT (R?-MEXICO-sippi), and the Vincente FOX of Los America's EL PRESIDENTE Jorge W. BUSH (Compassionate Conservative Democrat-Rancho Crawford)! Those Amigos works hard in Washingtown Dee Cee and help ill-weegulls come over water of Rio Grande to fill Americaw's old Dodge and Ford vans, chock-full, plus... farm fields! Mexican restaurants! Gangs! Prisons! Home Depot parking lots! And Emergency Rooms! If one is lucky enough they may even get to work for Mitt Romney, mowing lawns! Or better yet...holding and posting "Viva McCain" signs on street corners!

WANG- I know we're talking choices here, Your Greatness, and the Americans are having an election in November of '08...

KIM- Stop rights there! Let's me interrupt your twain of thought, Wang. Choices?! Look, who's running for Repubrickan President of all salt mines and the whole-enchalada of USA?

WANG- Well there's Fred Thompson and Mitt Romney...

KIM- Nope and Nope.

WANG- Ron Paul?

KIM- (Fluck him!The blimp rider!) Nope.

WANG- Jeb Bush?

KIM- Him sobered up (don't know about his kid though, Gore's either) and never ran. So, Nope.

WANG- How about Ted Kennedy?

KIM- Him laid-up in hospital getting a new neck brace, I'm thinks. The one he used after Chapaquid-dick is too small for his fat-ass now. Or...hmmm...maybe he got his 10th liver trans-prant. Regardless, Kennedy is DEMO-KWAP, No RepubPRICKan! So answer is, Nope!

WANG- Well who are the choices for Republican Presidential Candidate?

KIM- Own-ree ONE. The 4th AMIGO.

WANG- You mean John McCain?!

KIM- BLINGO!

WANG- But....that's no choice!

KIM- Great isn't it?! Welcome to my world! (Rest in Peace Eddie Arnold)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

RAT BASTARD (not amber) ALERT!


Have you seen this vehicle? The van pictured above has been seen running across the southern borders of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California! It’s driven by some old white dude known to his butt-load of FELONS/welfare-recipient passengers/supporters/ILLEGAL ALIENS as “El Presidente”, "Mr Anchor-Baby-Enabler", “El Coyote-tay”, “Maverick LOCO”, and “MISTER CONSERVATIVE BUDDY-FU*KER”! He’s said to be one McLame hombre! Consider this POS loaded and unpredictable!!! He may even have a side-kick (bitch) from Arkansas who fries squirrels in a popcorn popper while preaching Jesus and slammin' Mormons. Like all politicians, approach cautiously with money from Chinese donors. JG

Friday, May 16, 2008

My Sister Carol has Fallen and Can't Get Up! 911 Outsourced to an Idiot in Salida, Ca.

DATELINE- Salida, CA

On Saturday, May 10th, my sister Carol, who recently had a knee replaced, fell down and needed help. She lives in a wonderful and big tract of homes for seniors, and while at the newly opened Clubhouse, she fell. Not good. Knee OK, but got a bad bump on her head and fractured one of her eye orbits (I swear she's got three of 'em). Yeah that sucks, but press on...lots of people around and 911 was immediately called! Oh happy day...well, not exactly. 911 Dispatch is not in the city where she lives. Even though she lives in a larger city than SALIDA, CALIFORNIA, for some reason the emergency dispatchers are there (SALIDA, CALIFORNIA)....
Here's a re-enactment-

911- You have an emergency?

CALLER- Yes a lady has fallen...blah-blah...Del Web Clubhouse in blah-blah-blah...

911- I must have a "physical address" to send the paramedic's to!

CALLER- I don't know, it's a new building, it just opened. It's the clubhouse here for the whole complex...

911- I MUST have a physical address!

CALLER- (to everyone nearby) Get the address! (everyone's looking)...

"Time Marches On"....finally, after several more minutes the address is found out and given to the 911 operator. A few more minutes of searching around the retirement community and the local fire department/paramedics arrive. The great folks who were helping my sister were told by the paramedics "WE WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER BUT WE WEREN'T SURE WHERE YOU WERE. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL 911 YOU WERE AT THE CLUBHOUSE"?
This is not good. I am pissed. Any suggestions as to how to fix this bullshit? Give me some good advice so this kinda crap won't happen again at SALIDA, CA's "911 Call Center for Dummies".
And now a video befitting of this mess....I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

It's FRIDAY!!! Let's Dance!

The song? That is Why (I RUV You So!) by Jackie Wilson. Like the hair? You can bet KIM Jong IL sure does! I dedicate this song to the girl I had to go all the way to Korea for, Mrs JihadGene. I'd do it all over again. What's my secret to a happy marriage? I tell everyone I meet that I'm happily married and I never ask my wife for her opinion. Don't wanna get my feelings hurt! Now get up outta that chair and dance!
Ruv You Looong Time! Great Reader & JihadGene

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Great Reader KIM Jong IL Hates Bumper Stickers


Meanwhile....somewheres North of heathen-starving souths Koreans, we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL's eyeballz glued to the monitor...

KIM- POOOOTTWEEEeeeeeeeeeeee! BWAHAhahahahahahahaha! Oh sheet! Hey! General Wang! Come kwick with two roll'a paper towels! BWAHAHahahahahahahahaha!!! Damn KimChee burns when stuck in nose. HAAAK...cough....haak!

WANG- Here, Great Laugher! WOW! What a mess, Sir. Let me help clean you up and the computer, Sir.

KIM- Thanks, General Wang. heehee...heh..

WANG- You're certainly in good spirits, Sir. You drunk, Sir?

KIM- Me?...DLUNK?... No... Butts maybe later, Wang. Hee-hee-ha...

WANG- What has lifted you to this level of enjoyment, Great One? Is Elvis alive?

KIM- Wish he was. Naw....You knows how much I'm hates those dumb-ass blumper stickers?

WANG- Bumper Stickers, Sir?

KIM- You know! Like on Pappa-sans ox-cart, carrying away the dead at DPRK Political Correction Camps...sayings... My kid "WAS" a model inmate at DPRK Gulag#666, etc, etc.?

WANG- Yes.

KIM- Now, on AL Gore's World-Why-Webb, go here to find out what got Great Reader raffing out roud...
Help, I Have a Teenager!

Great Reader Ruv's You Looong Time!

California is Tanking! Governor Arnold Swarchenegger has a Girly-Man Solution!



Mrs Jihad and I have our own business here in the People's Republic of California and have been watching our home-state's economy tank for the last (at least) 5 years. But our glorious Governor Arnold Swarchenegger who said "I'll never raise taxes" has given us this crap-sandwich with a twist....
Coming up on the next ballot, Californian's will have to vote on either...#1, Sell about the only thing making money for the State, our lottery, for a quick bail-out or...#2...if you vote NO, on the sell-the-lotto proposition, you have just voted YES to raise the CA. sales tax 1%! According to ARNOLD you have just voted to raise your own taxes. You foolish girly-taxpayers! Arnold had nothing to do with it... the voters did it. You see how easy it is? Sell about the only state-run program that makes money for us and get that Fast Cash (for a Washington DC minute) or if we don't like that, then we get a 1% increase in state sales tax. The onus is then upon us (the voters) and Arnold's hands are clean....bullshit. Why don't they cut spending? Hell, why are we stuck with McCain, Obama, & Hillary? I suggest Arnold do this instead, to raise revenue. Go HERE! Payment in Euro's only please!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A P-51 Mustang Encounter from a WWII Veteran


Thanks to Jim Carlson (Veteran WWII) for this gem.

The sound of a P-51 is magic...

An Old Aviator and An Old Airplane

This is a good little story about a vivid memory of a P-51 and its pilot by a fellow who was 12 years old in Canada in 1967. You may know a few others who would appreciate it.

...........................................................................................

It was noon on a Sunday as I recall, the day a Mustang P-51 was to take to the air. They said it had flown in during the night from some U.S. airport, the pilot had been tired. I marveled at the size of the plane dwarfing the Pipers and Canucks tied down by her. It was much larger than in the movies. She glistened in the sun like a bulwark of security from days gone by.

The pilot arrived by cab, paid the driver, and then stepped into the flight lounge. He was an older man; his wavy hair was gray and tossed. Looked like it might have been combed, say, around the turn of the century.

His flight jacket was checked, creased and worn - it smelled old and genuine. Old Glory was prominently sewn to its shoulders. He projected a quiet air of proficiency and pride devoid of arrogance. He filed a quick flight plan to Montreal (Expo-67, Air Show) then walked across the tarmac.

After taking several minutes to perform his walk-around check the pilot returned to the flight lounge to ask if anyone would be available to stand by with fire extinguishers while he "flashed the old bird up. Just to be safe."

Though only 12 at the time I was allowed to stand by with an extinguisher after brief instruction on its use -- "If you see a fire, point, then pull this lever!" I later became a firefighter, but that's another story.

The air around the exhaust manifolds shimmered like a mirror from fuel fumes as the huge prop started to rotate. One manifold, then another, and yet another barked -- I stepped back with the others. In moments the Packard-built Merlin engine came to life with a thunderous roar, blue flames knifed from her manifolds. I looked at the others' faces, there was no concern. I lowered the bell of my extinguisher. One of the guys signaled to walk back to the lounge. We did.

Several minutes later we could hear the pilot doing his pre flight run-up. He'd taxied to the end of runway 19, out of sight. All went quiet for several seconds; we raced from the lounge to the second story deck to see if we could catch a glimpse of the P-51 as she started down the runway. We could not.

There we stood, eyes fixed to a spot half way down 19. Then a roar ripped across the field, much louder than before, like a furious hell spawn set loose---something mighty this way was coming. "Listen to that thing!" said the controller. In seconds the Mustang burst into our line of sight.

Its tail was already off and it was moving faster than anything I'd ever seen by that point on 19. Two-thirds the way down 19 the Mustang was airborne with her gear going up. The prop tips were supersonic; we clasped our ears as the Mustang climbed hellish fast into the circuit to be eaten up by the dog-day haze.

We stood for a few moments in stunned silence trying to digest what we'd just seen. The radio controller rushed by me to the radio. " Kingston tower calling Mustang?" He looked back to us as he waited for an acknowledgment.

The radio crackled, "Go ahead Kingston." "Roger Mustang. Kingston tower would like to advise the circuit is clear for a low level pass." I stood in shock because the controller had, more or less, just asked the pilot to return for an impromptu air show!

The controller looked at us. "What?" He asked. "I can't let that guy go without asking. I couldn't forgive myself!"

The radio crackled once again, "Kingston, do I have permission for a low level pass, east to west, across the field?" "Roger Mustang, the circuit is clear for an east to west pass." "Roger, Kingston, I'm coming out of 3000 feet, stand by."

We rushed back onto the second-story deck, eyes fixed toward the eastern haze. The sound was subtle at first, a high-pitched whine, a muffled screech, a distant scream. Moments later the P-51 burst through the haze. Her airframe straining against positive Gs and gravity, wing tips spilling contrails of condensed air, prop-tips again supersonic as the burnished bird blasted across the eastern margin of the field shredding and tearing the air.

At about 400 mph and 150 yards from where we stood she passed with the old American pilot saluting. Imagine. A salute! I felt like laughing, I felt like crying, she glistened, she screamed, the building shook, my heart pounded.

Then the old pilot pulled her up and rolled, and rolled, and rolled out of sight into the broken clouds and indelibly into my memory.

I've never wanted to be an American more than on that day. It was a time when many nations in the world looked to America as their big brother, a steady and even-handed beacon of security who navigated difficult political water with grace and style; not unlike the pilot who'd just flown into my memory.



He was proud, not arrogant, humble, not a braggart, old and honest, projecting an aura of America at its best. That America will return one day, I know it will.

Until that time, I'll just send off this story; call it a reciprocal salute, to the old American pilot who wove a memory for a young Canadian that's lasted a lifetime.

( Forward to your Pilot Friends)

***I'm no Pilot Mr Carlson, neither was my Aunt Dorothy, who helped build these beautiful aircraft. Aunt Dorothy is gone now but she forever soars in this kids' heart. I'm proud to be an American, Mr Carlson. Thanks again for reminding me of another reason why.
JG

KIM Jong IL Sick & Tired of Obama's Stupidity! Builds "Thunderbirds" Runway for War!


From The Sunday Times Timesonline.
April 27, 2008
Kim Jong-il builds ‘Thunderbirds’ runway for war in North Korea
An airbase inside a mountain is the latest sign that North Korea, whose links to Syria’s nuclear programme came to light last week, is cranking up its military machine.

Speaking of THUNDERBIRDS...See Great Reader as BLAINS (Brains) in this epic-sode! Ruv looong time the cool ending!!!

Ruv You and "Lady Penelope" Looong Time Too!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Imperialist Lackey of Reverend Wright Points "Magic Stick" at Beloved Great Reader KIM Jong IL

KimmyNewz/Koweefornia- It has been rumored that the traitorous (to Hillary) presidential-hopeful, Barrack Who's-Named Obama, carries a "magic stick" from town to town. This is in the same fashion as the Hero of North Vietnam, the Herman Munster-fied John F'n Kerry, who had a magic jungle-hat secreted in a briefcase.
Barrack has been seen in all 57 states with the "Magic Stick"! Our gloriously gargantuan Great Reader KIM Jong IL says "Obama has pointed this sharp shtick once to often in the Americans people's faces, who dilligently toil for the most powerful agency in the flea-world, the I.R.S.!!! Be warned Oblama!!! The pointings of any shtick at the peace-ruvving, nuke-testing, wocket-launching, DPRK will only sucks-seed in poking his owns self in buttocks! The powers of this shtick correlates directly with the teachings of the Trinity United Church of DoJo-Nija-Masters, of Chicago, Illinois! KIM Jong IL is on to you Reverend Wright! I'm on it rike vomit! So Barrack Who's-Named Obama, for your unwarranted black-hearted attacking of innocents peoples (pool playaz) I'm sending in the "World Famous" HILLARY CLINTON ARMY to a state near you! I see nothings butt OPERATION CHAOS in your future! Enough of this shtick"! JG

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Great Reader Kim Jong IL on Climate Change and Fortune Cookies


Meanwhile somewhere north of South Korea, north of the lovely 38th Parallel, across the Bridge of Freedom, we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL reading tea leaves...

KIM- General Wang! Cum QUICK!

WANG- What's the matter, Great Reader?

KIM- Watts-a-Matta? Watts-a-Matta for you!? Look in bottom of DickTaters tea cup!

WANG- It appears there's something in the bottom of your cup, Sir.

KIM- No shit, Sure-Wok! Them be tea weaves?

WANG- No, not tea leaves, Sir. A piece of paper. It appears to be a Chinese fortune, Sir.

KIM- A fortune, frum the Chi-knees? You means like I'm swimmin's in Yen, rollin's in the dough?! I'm witch, witch, WITCH!!!

WANG- Rich? No, Great One. Not rich.

KIM- Awww, kwap! Butts whats abouts fortune?

WANG- Fortune, like a Chinese fortune found in a "fortune cookie", my most
Glorious Self-Impaler.

KIM- What's Self-Impaler?

WANG- It's American english for a wanna-be Emperor.

KIM- Oh, like US Sintore John McLame?

WANG- Yes, Sir! (Heh-heh) Exactly like US Senator John McCain.

KIM- CRICK (quick)! Open paper of good fortune for Great Reader!

WANG- Opening paper, Sir.

KIM- What say, WHAT SAY??!!

WANG- It's in english, Sir. It says, "There's a sucker born every minute".

KIM- Korean trans-way-tion, preeze.

WANG- John McCain has bought into this Global Warming bullshit.

KIM- GREAT! Now get me anudder cup 'o Chi-knees tea. I'm needs to check on OBAMA & Hill-Ree CLINTON!!!

WANG- Coming right up, Sir!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Why Corporals and Sergeants Must Stay Vigilant by jihadgene

PFC- (on phone)
Gee Mom...CPL So-and-so and Sergeant So-and-so are such A-holes, that I got busted just for having fun! They totally suck!

MOM- Fun? What kind of fun, Son?

PFC- Well, we had some down time and we were just kickin'it with a 15ton truck! We were just "ghost ridin'"! Nobody would'a got hurt, Mom.

MOM- Ghost riding?

PFC- Yeah it's cool Mom! Ghost ridin' the whip! And we got busted for it!

MOM- Let's see...according to urbandictionarydotcom it's...let's see...

"To Ghost Ride The Whip"

"Ghost riding is the act of getting out of your car while it is in neutral or while it is in drive and dance around the car, on top of the car, or behind the car. Ghost riding was populized with the wave of hip-hop know as hyphy and with songs by e-40 and the Federation. The act of ghost riding was thought up of by the people of the san fran bay area but now is being utilized by many teenagers around the u.s."

PFC- Are you on-line Mom? (I hate it when she's on-line)


MOM- Yes, son. I am.

PFC- But Mommmmm! My CO might bust me to the rank of Private!

MOM- That's nice.

PFC- That sucks, Mom.

MOM- So do you son. Have a nice day and thank your NCO's for me.

PFC- You suck, Mom.

MOM- I do my best. Should I e-mail your command and request extra duty for you, as well?

PFC- You're Army Strong Ma!

MOM- Yes I am.

* Thanks to DeltaBravo for her "MOMMY DEAREST" wisdom and the inspiration for this post!RYLT!!!JG

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The DPRK's KIM Jong IL and JihadGene Salute Korean Mothers, and all Mothers, World-Wide!

I got this kinda response, from my Mom (a Jehovah's Witness), when I joined the US Army! I don't think she was Korean(?). Oh well...Happy Mothers Day!!! A BIG HUG goes out to all out Mom's serving in our US Armed Forces, and all Mom's waiting back home! Our prayers to all 24/7!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Three Tours of Duty in Korea and One in West (then) Germany. No Wonder My Wife Thinks I'm So Weird!

Gimme a beer and some KimChee! Even peace-time tours of duty take a toll on ya! Screw it! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Yodel-lady Shin!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Parenting is Tough! KIM Jong IL Recommends GODZILLA for Baby Sitter!

YEAH BABY! CLANK IT UP THE VOLUME! Problems with chills-wren (children)? Needs Babies Sitter? Call Grawd-Zilla!

Ruv Fridays LOOONG TIME!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL

Parenting Let's Me Play Like I'm KIM Jong IL (or a Drill Sergeant) !





Awww...kids. I started off my 12 year olds day like this.....

It's almost 0700 Hours (7AM for you maggoty civilians) Nancy Pelosi Time (PST). It's time to get my son up for school. Like most of you, I want to be a good parent, raise a great kid, and RULE THE WORLD! Though I have no NUKES physically available, being a parent of some 12 years, I have realized that while you can't see my "DPRK Approved" NUKES...they indeed are in my parenting bag-'o-tricks! Cool, huh?! So's as my son (KIM Jr) slumbers, I do a full frontal assault on his bunk and Pearl Harbored him! I jump on his bed and give him my patented Nanook of the North (Korean) bear-hug! Now normally, I would simply get out my Reverend AL SHARPTON regulation bullhorn, and while on full volume gently yell, "Time for school! Get up, ya PUKE! Grandma was slow but she was old! What's your excuse?!" However the neighbors have complained to the police and Child Protective Services has informed me to cease and desist in such behavior. Well anyways I jumped on his bunk, hug him, and he's got this big smile on his Lil' KIM mugg.
He asks me, "Dad, is it Friday?" Well... being The Great Reader JihadGene...I loudly answered "NO! IT'S MONDAY!! YOU GOT A WHOLE WEEK OF SCHOOL TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!!"
My son starts cracking up! So now I NUKE HIM! I tell him, "AND IT'S THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER! YOU GOT A FULL YEAR OF SCHOOL AHEAD OF YOU, BOY!" My son only laughs louder!! Damn, I need better NUKES! Have a great Friday! JihadGene

!!! Go to comments and see what Deltabravo said! It's a RIOT!!!JihadGene

Thursday, May 8, 2008

DPRK's KIM Jong IL Crappy not Happy with South Korea's New President LEE Myung Bak


This photo is of either the WWE Wrestler Jimmy Wang YANG or that of the new President of South Korea LEE, Myung Bak





****THE FOLLOWING WAS TAKEN FROM THE (NORTH) KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY (no B.S.)-

KCNA Terms Lee Myung Bak Traitor of Modern Version

Pyongyang, May 8 (KCNA) -- Lee Myung Bak of south Korea betrayed his true colors as a die-hard sycophantic traitor during his junkets to the U.S. and Japan when he sold off the dignity and interests of the nation.
He called south Korea "a stock company of the U.S." and invited the Japanese king to Seoul while calling him "emperor," thus bringing shame to the nation.
In less than two months since he came to power Lee reduced south Korea to a stock company of the U.S. monopoly capitalists and freed Japan of its responsibility for the redemption of the past crimes. This is just the tip of iceberg of his sycophantic and treacherous deeds.
He is a die-hard pro-U.S. and pro-Japanese traitor devoid of the spirit and the dignity of the Korean nation.
After his inauguration as "president" the spirit of "By our nation itself" has grown weak and the past era of sycophancy toward the U.S. and cooperation with outsiders has been brought back in south Korea.
Before taking office he had called for the tightened south Korea-U.S. "alliance," worrying over the "impaired alliance." He is now strengthening the tie-ups with outsiders, away from serving the nation's interests and dignity.
The Lee Myung Bak regime agreed to increase the costs for the U.S. military presence in south Korea, dispatch troops to Afghanistan again and import American beef. These are a clear proof showing that the regime is set to serve the outsiders for the "relations of strategic alliance in the 21st century."
A particular mention should be made of the fact that his group has called for "friendship" with Japan which still remains a sworn enemy to the Korean nation.
The group considers it "pragmatic" to bury into oblivion the Japanese imperialists' history of aggression on Korea. What a far-fetched assertion it is.
To this end, it has defended Japan's past crimes and even stood in the way of editing "biographical dictionary of pro-Japanese elements," talking about the "new era of cooperation" and "orientation toward the future."
Traitor Lee is little different from the traitors in the last century who sold off the country to the outsiders.
Such group of traitors will bring nothing but shame to the nation that has been undergoing the tragic division for more than half a century due to the outsiders.

****KIM Jong IL's pissed off at the new president. I'm RUV it LOOONG TIME! JihadGene

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Supreme Navy Commadore John McCain Meets with Governor of Louisiana! Grants Amnesty!


Dateline- LaFeyette, La.
Proof, once again, that apparently no Presidential Candidate is exempt from Great Reader's scrutinization, we now join Norf Korea's BEERUVVED Great Reader KIM JONG IL back at his CHI-Mart computer, near the deserted streets of downtown PyongYang, DPRK....

KIM- Great intel found here, General Wang!

WANG- How so, Most Keyboarding One?

KIM- Look at plictures! Just fill in the blanks!

WANG- I don't follow, Great One. This is a picture of John McCain visiting the Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal.

KIM- Okray, I'm forget you own-ree a 7 star general. Now look! I can glean intel from this plicture (as seen above)....here goes..."what they said"...

Meanwhile somewhere in Swamps of Louisiana, USA (home of SWAMP FIRE HOT SAUCE)....

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN- Hola mi Amigo-Governor! Se habla AMNESTY! Quiero a GREEN CARD, Amigo? I can hook you up! Need a US NAVY boat-ride across the Rio Grande?!! No fences on my watch!!! NO PROBLEMO!!!

GOV BOBBY JINDAL- Hola? (WTF?) I'm sorry, but I don't speak much spanish, or whatever else you're speaking.

McLAME- No comprende, Roberto? And you call yourself the Governor of the Mexican state of La Fiesta? What are you, EL POLLO LOCO?

JINDAL- I am the Governor of Louisiana, Sir. My name is Bobby, not ROBERTO.

McLAME- Oh. So what are you, boy?

JINDAL- What do you mean?

McLAME- You know...Irish-American, Japanese-American...?

JINDAL- Oh. If you must know, I'm Indian-American.

McLAME- I get it now! You're an Indian!

JINDAL- I'm an American.

McLAME- Sure you're an American. A NATIVE American! Want to smok'em peace-pipe?
What tribe are you with? You got a casino? When I'm Commander in Chief of the Navy I'll put Indian Gaming Casino's all over the coast! I'd offer you a beer but I know how you are with firewater. Once I'm President though, we'll mak'em big Waumpum!

JINDAL- STOP! I was born in the USA and many of my family are origionally from the country of India.

McLAME- You got a 7-11?! The Big Gulps are on me!.............JG out.

Hackensack, N.J. has Solution for Problems with DPRK and Great Reader KIM Jong IL


Meanwhile it's another lazy Wednesday in The Land 'O the Morning Missile Launch,
Norf Korea, and we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL, back on the AL-GO invented, in-toe-net and World-Why-Webb ....

KIM- LOOK!! General Wang! Just ROOK!!

WANG- Yes, Great Web Surfer!
Good intel gleaned from unsuspecting blogger, ERICA.

KIM- Not Erica...is plo-nounced AIR-ICK-CLAW! Say it!

WANG- Ericklaw!

KIM- Much betta! Now backs to bidness. Accordian to this article, food holds the power of negotiations and prossible friendship.

WANG- Friendship with the DPRK, Great War-Headed One?

KIM- Let's me defline friendship for you, Wang. Friendship (in the DPRK) is the stopping of pointing of wockets at others, the stoppage of makings of nuke wockets, and the stoppage of helping MOOSE-LIMBS (in the GAY BARS OF SYRIA and IRAN) acquire "said" wockets.

WANG- Why would we do that, Great Reader?

KIM- Two words. Barbecued Pork. Two moe words...CHEESE BLURGER! LOOK...

WANG- Make mine an In-'n-Out Burger!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Proof Once Again that America's Squirrel's Have Come Home to Roost (almost)




Great Reader KIM Jong IL & JihadGene prove once again that we carefully scween (screen) the Great Reader's comments section of our GLORIOUS brogg!!!
You suggest... and we find!!!
When asked about squirrels, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr, had this to say...
GAWD DAMN SQUIRRELS!!! GAWD DAMN PETA!!!
GAWD DAMN PET'S MART!!! GAWD DAMN OLD PEOPLE AND KIDS IN THE PARK FEEDIN' SQUIRRELS!!! GOTT-DAMN 'EM ALL TO HELL!!!
Per the request of our anointed reader DELTABRAVO we give you via the World-Why-Webb
the SQUIRREL-A-PULT!!!
Great Reader says- This is own-ree more ploof that American's haves too much time on their hands! (Tanks DB! RYLT!!!)

Sunday, May 4, 2008

The Deer Hunter...er...no, make that The Squirrel Hunter by jihadgene

STRAIGHT WHITE GUY SAYS- One shot. That's what it's all about. One shot.
Read the sad (not to me) story of the ruthless decimation, eradication, and destruction of a squirrel. The scoped Ruger 10/.22 rifle was of course provided by the Evil Juggernauted One himsself, REDNECK! This has not gone unnoticed in the DPRK!

Pyongyang, August 24 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il said "the rifle of a soldier without working-class consciousness and revolutionary resolution is less than a stick in effect."
***Note the Norf Korean to Engrish transwheytion goes like this "This is my rifle and here is my boomstick!Now lay waste to all those sum-beeches! I'm kill all you squirrels looong time!"***
And now from a PRIMO Blogger from FRANCE (Yeah, FRANCE!) on BOOMSTICKS. No squirrels were harmed in the making of this video. If one would have we would have given the carcASS to Reverend Mike Huck-ah-Blee to fry up in a Ronco Pop-Corn Popper!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Milblogger Black Five Goes Shopping in China. Snubbs KIM Jong IL! KIM Counters With a New Export!







Datesline DPRK (NorKo Newz)-
Spotted on the Al Gore invention, the WORLD-WHY-WEBB, is BLACKFIVE'S own Matt Burden. And wheres in the wirld is Matt? CHINA! CHINA!! CHI-frickin'-NA!!! Ok...CHINA has O-RIM-PIC's and Great and Glorious Reader KIM Jong IL has busted his KOON-DINGIE workings with those CHI-KNEE's on the welcrumbing of SPORTS TORCH! Some dumb-ass NORKO DEFECTOR, who was in SEOUL, even did that Buddhist Bar-B-Que thing that was so popular in the 1960's (Vietnam). Obviously the former Norf Korean was so miserable living in a starving and horrible Souf Korea, that he torched himself outs of love for the Great Reader!

SPEAKING OF LOVE-
Why did Matt, of Black Five Dot Net, not contact Great Reader KIM Jong Il when nearby in CHINA?! Our Great and Magnanimous Reader would have given Matt the full tour of PyongYang! Great reader KIM Jong IL was quoted as saying, "I'M TAWKING THE DE-RUX
TOUR! TOO! GOLF WITH TIGER KIM! ROLLER-DISCO! RUSSIAN ROULETTE! A NO-HOSTAGE BAR AND A COMPLIMENTARY FULL INSPECTION OF KIM JONG IL'S JOY BRIGADE (with junk-on-the-bunk)! WHY YOU FORSAKE'S ME, MATT? WHERE'S THE RUV, BRUDDA? SHOW ME DA RUV!"

MATT SHOPS IN CHINA FOR $150 ROLEX-
Matt says, "I am tired of being harassed by vendors who all claim "Best Price!" and whip out their calculators like I care about their wares and try to charge me $150 for a $1.50 watch."
What a tight-ass! Price 'o rice going up and all, and he's haggling price?! It's a genuine "LOL-Lex" watch, for OBAMA's sake! Typical rich white American blastard!

KIM JONG IL'S BOTTOM LINE-
In a rabble-rousing Prison Labor response, our Great Reader has introduced a new product to the free (for-five-dollah) world! Now for only $4.99 (pruss CA. sales tax) you can now have DPRK FIREQUACKERS! PaysPal Okray! No 'Merican Expless!

RUV YOO LOOONG TIME! Great Reader KIM Jong IL and JihadGene