Admittedly, some... and at times much of this, is B.S. sprinkled with a Mitt Romney 47% of truth.If you are new here please go back to read some of the earlier parts of this G.I.'s tale of love at first sight. This is me, JihadGene, as an old guy taking a look back at himself...and love...and raffing out roud! I can't help but come off sounding like Steinbeck writing about Cannery Row, as I write about Korea. South Korea in 1975 was a smell, a sound, a morning calm, and a strange sight to this (then) 20 year old Californian. Looking back gives me great happiness and brings it all back again. It's a joy and a happiness that surrounds me, and reminds me of what is important in life...and what really does matter. I hope it comes across, in that way, for you. God has been very good to me.
I SAW HER STANDING THERE
(for Jean K. of Midland, Michigan)
So there I was... a handsome (though undoubtedly I was throughly much better-looking than just the word "handsome") and young, a 20 year old US Army Military Policeman stationed in Pusan, South Korea. I was an M.P. in a company apparently named after a tuna...I was in Charlie Company. Where was I? Oh, yeah! It was approximately 2 weeks after my very first official and "fully escorted" first date, back on April Fool's Day, with the lovely Kim so it was around the 16th of April 1975 when I sort of proposed holy-cow matrimony to this beautiful girl with the dimples. Now, before I tell you how I did this...that is, propose marriage, you must remember it was love in the 1st degree and the lovely Miss Kim's Korean mojo was very strong. I was spinning like an Obama voter on Black Friday at Walmart! It was a fast & furious love, LOOONG time!!! A love of pain, pain, more pain, humiliation, of more pain and a whole bunch of raffing (Koreanese for laughing) out roud (loud)! Personally, I think it was bigger than "Love Story"... but unlike Love Story, I did have to say that I was sorry. Sorry very LOOONG time!!! You see, it was love at 1st sight for me and I wasn't in the right frame of mind...not that I ever have been but...like I said...it was love at first sight, on my end. On HER end...??? Hell! Who knows? My eyes were focused on her end! If ya get my drift, dear reader. After all the ruvly "girl of my dreams" is a girl...and for us guys, girls are impossible to understand. It's just a well-known "Man Made Fact" or (in the soldier's world) a real MF'er of an obstacle. As soldiers, we had what we called FM's or "Field Manuals". Field manuals gave you useful information on Army stuff like "Blowing the Enemy the Hell Up" and like "Not Getting Yourself Blown the Hell Up"...or on "How to Dig an Army Slit Trench" to poop in. Useful stuff, ya know? Useful stuff indeed. Sweet! But in this case, we soldiers had no FM's or "Female Manuals" that told you how to do things right...like "Get to 1st Base with a Cute Korean Girl" or guidelines on PMP's ("Proper Marriage Proposals). The Army had acronyms for everything. Typical Army Speak was like... "Alright men, being as I'm the NCOIC (Non Commissioned Officer In Charge) and the OIC (Officer In Charge) has a case of HUB (Head Up Butt) and has gotten this mission all kinds of FUBAR'd (F'd Up Beyond All Recognition) we will CM (Charlie Mike...Continue the Mission), then complete our mission, have weapons cleaned, gear stored, all by COB (Close of Business) or OBT (Oh Beer Thirty). Whichever comes first. FIDO ('F' It and Drive On), people! Now move out and draw fire!" Yeah, that's pretty much Army speak, as I recall it. Anyway, being as my intended target of LOOONG time affection was a girl...and a Korean one at that, this made it all-the-more interesting and highly challenging! Besides...I was a guy. Yes, I was a guy and a single G.I. at that! I was a soldier on a mission! A mission of hormonally-heartfelt and manically-motivated love! I was a kid in O.D. green! A regular army RUV-U-LOOONG time loving machine, was I!!! Of this, I humbly assure you, dear readers....I was hawt very LOOONG time!!! Now, where was I? Oh yeah! So.... putting on the "Full Armor of RUV", as a young MP in the Garden Spot (or Kimchi Pot) of Pusan, South Korea, I was fully and completely equipped by the numbers. First off... I had my MP "Helmet of Salvation" helmet liner, to carry around my love-sick lame brain in. Secondly...I had my "Sword of Truth". It came in the form of an M-1911A1, Colt .45 semi automatic pistol, issued for MP duty from my unit arms room. I also wore the "Shield of Fate" in the form of an M.P. brassard. My fate was to someday, somehow, get the lovely Kim to marry me! On duty I wore the "Pistol Belt of Truth, Justice, and Horny American Ways"! It didn't matter to me as to whether or not the girl-of-my-schemes was "in season" or not, because I was 20 years old and there was only one season for me...it was RUV season! RUV-RUV-RUV! Man, I either need a cold shower right about now or a cigarette as I type this stuff out! Now, where was I? Oh yeah...with my loins girded like a Joe Biden with a new batch of hair plugs, and my far less than a six-pack of abs covered in US Army O.D. green rice-starched fatigues, topped off with highly houseboy-shined Corcoran jump boots, complete with white parachute cord (for laces)...I was good rooking! Dear readers, I was totally bling'd out "Camp Hialeah Style"! Well...it was a cool, clear, sunshiny afternoon in mid April 1975 it was, that I was preforming my duties at Depot Gate. Duties such as checking vehicles in and out of the compound, checking I.D.'s, and making sure that no 2nd Lieutenant goes un-saluted! In the guardhouse/gate-shack a Korean made "Nobility" transistor radio was softly playing Paul Anka's song "Having my Baby" on AFKN (Armed Forces Korea Network). It was right about then that a robin's egg blue colored taxi pulled up to the front of the gate and low and LOOONG time behold the lovely Kim stepped out! She was even more beautiful than on April Fool's Day! My eyes popped out! My tongue popped out! Other parts of me almost popped out! Though my heart and body was "locked and loaded" I tried to play it cool. She smiled. I smiled while doing double-back flips that Mary Lou Retton would be proud of! While trying to play it cool, I saw she was standing there with something in her hand. She smiled. It was a small package. Could it be? COULD IT POSSIBLY BE!!!??? It was! It was! It was...
(to be continued on Christmas... because that's when we open packages)