Friday, January 23, 2015

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

BREAKING INFIDEL NEWS!!! Not to be outdone by Secretary of State John Kerry...Vice President Joe Biden has asked singer Ray Stevens to sing "Ahab the Arab" at the funeral of Saudi Arabian King Abdullah! Keep our most highly awesome US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers and have a great weekend LOONG time!!! That is all.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Obama's Message to the People of Dallas

I just spoke with President Obama and he has assured me that Ebola is only the J.V. of viruses. Stay tuned for Tomahawks over Texas. -Bob out.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

KIM Jong Un and Chelsea Clinton

Meanwhile...somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong Un surprised by THIS news nugget. (click here)

KIM: (on computer) Huh???!!! Chelsea Crintton on speaking tour??? General Wang! General Wang! Come krick!

WANG: Right here, Great One! What seems to be the matter, Sir? Comcast down again?

KIM: No, Commiecast is working fine...but look!  (points at screen)

WANG: Wowsers! She makes as much as $75, 000 (US) per speaking engagement, Sir. She's making bank!

KIM: You ain't whistling Dixie Chicks, Wang!

WANG: But Sir...what's she going to talk about?

KIM:  All kind of matter 'o facts , General Wang! Very LOOONG time sad and heart-winching stories she will tell!!! (amused grin on face)

WANG: Really? Sad stories?

KIM: Very sad store-wees! Imagine the probably-hillbillies!  (dreamy grin on face) 

WANG: (now with dreamy grin on face) You're right, Great Reader! I see her in my mind's eye... speaking about poverty, soup kitchens, military service, and rejection.

(General Wang goes into trance and begins channeling Chelsea Clinton)

KIM: (evil grin...with eyes wide) You, Wang! You are Shellsea Crintton! Speak to me! Speak now, Shellsea!

WANG: (with Chelsea's voice) When we left the White House we were "Dead Broke". We had to eat gruel served up in soup kitchens. Mom couldn't even bake cookies. After Buddy the dog got run over ...we ate him.

KIM: (encouraging) MMMmmm...yummy! Go on!

WANG: I was in the bad part of town...always dodging sniper fire with my Mom. It was good training for me. It made me tough!

KIM: (sounding like a Korean Ed McMahon) Really? How toughs were you?

WANG: I was so tough, I went into a Marine Corps recruiter's office!

KIM: Wheelie?! What happened??

WANG: Yes, really! I volunteered for the Marine Corps and for a combat tour of duty! A tour of duty as a member of Force Recon!

KIM: (laughing) Yes! YES!

WANG: But I was RE-JECTED! (eyes watering) 

KIM: (jumping up and down for joy) 
I'm know! I'm knows why you were ejected! 

WANG: (coming out of trance) ...Why, Great Reader? Why was Chelsea rejected by the Marine Corps?

KIM: Because of the Repubbrickans "War on Women"!

WANG: Bingo, Sir!


(Thanks LOOONG time to Carrie C. for the inspiration of this piece!)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Obama Grants Amnesty

BREAKING NORF KOREAN NEWS!!! President Barack Whosenamed Obama has just granted "TEAM BRAZIL" amnesty! According to Obama...Team Brazil will be redeployed to Colorado where they will be welcomed and given a great victory parade, sponsored by the Denver Bronco's! So...smoke 'em if you got 'em! It's legal there. That is all.

Friday, July 4, 2014

It's 4th of July Friday-Let's Dance!

It's a 4th of July Friday! Let's dance and be sure to keep our wonderfully wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers very LOOONG time!!! Call me maybe???

Friday, June 27, 2014

It's Friday-Let's Dance

It's been a long time* since I posted a Let's Dance. So have a SPAM (spiritually powered and motivated) Friday, wear a red shirt for our deployed troops, and always keep the brave men and women of our wonderful US Armed Forces in your prayers LOOONG time!!! As the Great Reader KIM Jong Un wood say..."Let's wok 'n lol"!
*Thanks to Soldiers' Angel, Sherri K. for todays tune.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Mastermind of Benghazi Captured?

Meanwhile.....back home in the DPRK, we find Great Reader KIM Jong Un receiving a security briefing from Norf Korea's 7 star General Wang. 
WANG: It seems the Americans, with "President Obama's blessings", have finally captured "The Mastermind of Benghazi"!
KIM: Really??? They captured the Tree Stooges? 
WANG: The 3 Stooges, Sir?
KIM: Yeah, you knows...Obama, Hillary, and Susan Rice. ROR! (raff out roud)
WANG: (regaining military bearing), Sir. It seems they have captured Ahmed Abu Khattala.
KIM: Well, I'll be kimchee'd! I thought they imprisoned that You Tubed film maker LOOONG time ago!!!
KIM: And they're gonna hold him in Gitmo! ROR!
WANG: And trade him for O.J. Simpson, Sir! ROR!
KIM: (drying eyes) Good one, Wang!