Thursday, May 29, 2008

My Elder Sister Carol, an Update by jihadgene

Remember my elder sister Carol? The one who had her ass-kickin' knee replaced? The one who later fell down and couldn't get up? The one who looked like a raccoon after her fall? Well she's doing fine (crap)! Carol's the one who traumatized my ass, by washing my mouth out with soap at the tender age of only six! She took that toothbrush and loaded it up with 2/3rd's of a bar of Ivory, then thrust it where my tonsils used to be! I was only exercising my 2nd Amendment know?....freedom of expression, and all that? I'm talking a six year old's creativity, here! Next thing I know, she has me deep-throatin' a Crest toothbrush! I think she was aiming for my voicebox but was unsure as to where it was located. She never was worth a damn at Science, so she just probed with that toothbrush for...oh...maybe like half an hour, before her hand started severely cramping-up. But I survived! I'm her kid brother. Why the hell do I still love her, ya ask?! Because we've shared so many tender moments together, such as this...


Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot, Gene. My husband called me from work first thing this morning. (It wasn't even noon!) He was lhto (laughing his tush off) while reading your morning blog.
You need to remember that Sisterzilla is still capable of hobbling over to your house and kicking your butt with her not-artificial-knee leg, though I do think my artificial knee is developing arthritis. My husband says that's not likely. (The man appears to have opinions on everything.)
Gosh, I'm glad I'm not a hypocondriac like Mother was.
Have I mentioned my irritable bowel lately? I think you're some of my problem.
Love you anyway,
Elder Sister

P.S. How does one get a blog?
I'm thinking mine should lead off with the time you scratched your name in my freshly painted closet door.
You were stunned when I accused you.
"How did you know it was me?" you asked.
"Who else would scratch your name in a door?" I asked.
"Oh, I never thought about that."

Yeah, I may be older, but I still have your number, buddy, and don't forget, I've switched to Dove Soap. It has a moisturizer and an after-taste.

JihadGene said...

Dear Anonymous Elder Sister,

Paying you a compliment is like trying to make peace in the middle-east! And NO Carol, I know nothing (like Sgt Schultz in Hogan's Heros) about starting a blog! Nothing!

From your WONDERFUL little Brother who is MUCHO YOUNGER than you, and is a Rocket Scientist, compared to OBAMA!

That 1 Guy said...

Heheheh... reminds me of the story of my cousin shoving a water pistol down his brother's throat. Family won't let that one die. (The story... as well as the cousin.)

Nothing like that ever happened between us three brothers and sister. Not ever...

Except maybe that one time, with the hatchet...

Anyway, glad to see she's feeling well enough to threaten you...

JihadGene said...

Yo! That 1 Gly!
Threats and mayhem are not only a sacred family tradition around here but it is requirement! That is if you expect to live through your first 100 days on planet earf.

God Breast Flat Stanley!
Great Reader KIM Jong IL