Wednesday, February 5, 2014

KIM Jong Un CVS Pharmacy Super Bowl




Meanwhile...somewhere north of the 38th Parallel...the Great Reader of Norf Korea, KIM Jong Un weighs in with his own observations on CVS Pharmacy's decision to discontinue tobacco sales in all of it's 7,600 stores. Let's hear what Great Reader has to say...


KIM:  Looks, General Wang! Looks! (Kim pointing to a DPRK version of Weekly Reader Magazine

WANG: What is it, Great One?

KIM:  I'm gonna make us witch, LOOONG time!!! 

WANG:  Witch, Sir? You mean "WITCH" as in flying monkeys and the Yellow Brick Road, Sir?

KIM:  No, no...LOOONG time NOSE!!! I'ms not tawkin about Wizzar Odds and frying monkeys...I'm tawkin about US dollah! CASH money! Look at head-rhine in magazine!

WANG:  Hmmm...It says that CVS Pharmacy is no longer selling tobacco in it's stores. So???

KIM:  So we're WITCH!

WANG:  Sir, how does that make us rich? 

KIM:  CBS Farmsee has to replace empty shelf space with some-ting, right?

WANG:  Well yes, Sir...but with what? 

KIM: Happy smoke from the good old DPRK!

WANG:  You mean marijuana, Sir? 

KIM:   Blingo, Wang! We grows it and they buys it! 

WANG:   Pot is illegal in the US. Have you been talking to Dennis Rodman again, Sir?

KIM:   No... but I have some seeds left over from his cigar! And happy smoke is not ill-eagle in 
            Seahawk and Denver Blanco states! Did you not see the Super Blow on TV with me???

WANG:   Well yes but...

KIM:   What a cruster fruck! You can't tell me those NFL CEO's wasn't high on that kwap!
             Shehawks vs Blancos. What a joke! And just rook at America's readership! John Kerry...
             Brunos Mars...John McCain...Miley Cypress! I'm telling you General Wang, happy smoke will 
             soon be completely legalalienized throughout all 53 states and the DPRK will deriver the
             goods! LOOONG time!!! Now go get me a kimchi pizza!

WANG:  Very good, Sir.



4 comments:

Elisson said...

Bwah hah hahhh!

(Sign me up for the kimchi pizza!)

JihadGene said...

Thanks LOOONG time, Elissson!!!

Kid said...

Man, this is one topsey turvey crazy mixed up world ain't it?

I'd like to try some kimchee pizza though.

JihadGene said...

Kid- I thought you'd like to try that!