Meanwhile somewhere in a make-believer's little brown church, in Norf Korea, we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL on his knees...
KIM: Deer Father in heaven... preeze hear my prayers. Floorgive me of mine sins and helps me out, here.
GOD: What's on your mind, you HEATHEN ?
KIM: JihadGene is a conservative who hates Glenn Beck. Won't Gene goes to hell for that looong time?!
KIM: Tanks, Lord! Oh...ahhh...one mores question, Lord?
GOD: Fire away.
KIM: Am I'm going to hell, Lord?
GOD: Well, it depends.
KIM: Dee-plends, Lord?
GOD: Let me put it this way....how do you feel about watching the 700 Club co-hosted by Pat Robertson and Glenn Beck, for all eternity?
GOD: I'm leaving now. You can get up off your knees.
KIM: I'm standing stwaight up, Lord.
GOD: My bad.