Thursday, August 7, 2008

KIM Jong IL Offers Advice on Borders

Meanwhile somewhere in the "Land of the Morning Missile Launch", north of the 38th Parallel in fabulous Norf Korea, we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL back on the cumpooter.....

KIM- Hmmm...stupid. Why can't they see it, General Wang?

WANG- See what, your Greatness?

KIM- Americrans and Mexicrans at it again on border. Mexiclan Army is got US Borders Patrol held up at gun point. This is so EZ to fixate.

WANG- How Sir?

KIM- Just open Borders to all Mexico peoples who wants to read books in USA. Or open Borders Book Stores in Mexicrow! It'll make mucho dinero (Mexico talk for $) looong time!

WANG- Sir? Why would you think that Mexican nationals are crossing the Rio Grande in order to go read books?

KIM- Mexican TV.

WANG- Mexican TV?

KIM- (Kim clicking through channels on remote)
Look at these wrestlers wearing masks on a morning TV tawk show! Pathetic.
click...Now here's a bunch of dudes dressed like Slim Whitman playin tuba's. Good grawd.
click...Look! It's Liberace reportings the weather and he even reads palms! Oooowee.
click...Now it's a bunch of shitty used SUV's and mini-vans for sale with the Slim Whitman dudes singing and playing guitars. Sorry asses.
click....Oh fruck!...Now it's a Viva Obama commercial...

WANG- Stop! Stop! For God's sake STOP!

KIM- I told you Mexican TV sucked and would make book lovers outta anyone.

WANG- It's not just launched a volley of rockets!

KIM- Those dumb remotes all look the same.
My bad.

*hat tip to Hammer for the inspiration of this post


none said...

Hahahaha! You nailed mexican TV perfectly except for that guy in the bee costume and the solid gold boobie dancers on galavision!


Anonymous said...

What??? No Cable-Vision and the telenovelas? You forgot the TELENOVELAS!!!!?

You have NOT had to watch Mexican television nearly long enough!

But it's a great way to brush up on your Spanish!

(There are songs I hear that will forever remind me of Mexican discoteque commercials.)

Have to say some of their commercials were the best!


JihadGene said...

Se habla dinero...$'s all the Spanish I need....well that and...
no tango dinero...or maybe... What do you mean you El No-have-oh car insurance?

Anonymous said...

.... bwhhahahaha......