Japan Invents Rice Bra!

I can't get this story off of my mind. No longer will you hear Japanese men complain..."Oh no! Rice again for dinner?!" Will one of the most popular names for a Japanese newborn girl be "Paddy"? This story has gotten me thinking...just can't get my mind off of it. It's day 2 since the story broke...I look at my lovely wife's chest and smile a secret smile. Soon I'll go to the grocer and do my best to avert my eyes should I accidentally bump into a brazenly displayed box of Rice-A-Roni. While I'm out, I think I'll rent the movie
"Rice Girl"!

It's hell being a man.

It's Friday! Let's Dance with Obama!!!

This video is all Kenyan-American, it is! Got the President, a Blackberry, John McCain, and Elvis! It hardly gets more American than that...well...other than my Elvis bathroom.
It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

KIM Jong IL Awards Courageous Restraint Medal

Great Reader KIM Jong IL announces recipients of Norf Korea's *Courageous Restraint Award!

They are the U.N. (with clusters!) and...for now, anyway... Israel.

Many of you, my Dear Readers, are on the standby list of award winners for not choking out your local Congressman or woman. Senators too! Congratulations. JG ;)

*Read "Hold Fire, Earn a Medal" at Military Times.

(Hat tip to CRUSH at BlackFive)

Uncle Jimbo Inspires Song

That's right friends, BlackFive's Uncle Jimbo has inspired me yet again!
See "McCain's New Add" at BlackFive.

And now our very own US Senator, John McCain (Mav-DC) sings for you...

MEMORIES
(*an Elvis hit and a JihadGene re-write)

Memories pressed between the ass cheeks of my mind

Memories, beaten by an amnesty bill... so now I'll whine

Quietly Mexicans come floating into Tucson town

And reek all kinds of havoc on US ground

Like a Blue Dog Democrat at Pelosi's feet

Now I bark at illegals and burst into their asses,

like I'm neat!!!

Memories...

...hope you have no sour memories...

sour memories (of me).

Of holding hands with Lindsay Graham those days

and we were like Hendrix stoned on Purple Haze...

and Philippine girls with simple ways

wild ass'd nights in Subic Bay...Yooo Whooo!!!

Memories pressed between the ass cheeks of my mind

Memories, beaten by an amnesty bill... so now I'll whine

Lost the election and now I've got the blues

Mavericks?

I took Palin down that dirt road but I don't mind.

Memories?

Conservatives need no stinking Memories!

Damn their memories!

KIM Jong IL on Blue Dog Democrats

Meanwhile...somewhere north of the 38th Parallel we find Great Reader, KIM Jong IL in the DPRK's very own SillyCone Valley on an inspection tour of his newest internet inspired brainstorm, called "Gluegull".

KIM: Well, what do's you tink, General Wang?

WANG- Sir, the Americans have something that sounds just like this, it's called
"Google".

KIM- I'm knows that...but "Gluegull" is Norf Korean and was here looong time
befloor American-copycatting-company, Google!

WANG- As you say, Great One...but what does Gluegull do?

KIM- It's an Americran Engrish code breaker!!! It's a slooper-dooper slurch engine!
It's very John Tesh!!!

WANG- A super-duper search engine, I understand, Sir...but John Tesh?

KIM- Slorry...I'm meant high tech.

WANG- Oh. Got'cha, Sir. So...show me what it can do, please.

KIM- Here, now using this computer, we are on Homie's page of Gluegull! Got that?

WANG- I'm right with ya, Great Reader-Sir!

KIM- So now type in the Americran code "BLUE DOG DEMOCRATS".

WANG- Sir! Now it came up with a reference to... "Kimmipedia"?

KIM- Eggsackly! Now, not to worry, now "crick" on hot link to find answer.

WANG- Clicking on link, Sir!

KIM- Now what that tell you?

WANG- It says... "Blue Dog Democrats such as Congressman Jim Costa
vote the way Madame Imperial Speaker of the House, Nancy, tells them to.
They are known as 'Pelosi's Poodles'!!!"

KIM & WANG- BWAHAHAHAhahahaaa!!!!

WANG- It works like a charm, Sir!

KIM- Toad you! Now for some real laughs, type in "Al Sharpton" and "immigration".




T

What's Going On?

So here's what's going on. I have begun many posts but just can't get it together. I often begin to post then delete it. It's not funny enough or kind'a not quite right. My writing karma is on the kaput side but I will drive on and get through this post! Oh well, let me bore you with life here...The approx 2450 square feet of "Blamboo" floors are all done! I swear to Buddha I'll post a few pics! It came out pretty okay if I do say so myself! My elder sister-in-law just flew back to S. Korea yesterday after thoroughly spoiling us with 3 weeks of her wonderful cooking and house cleaning skills! She is home safe and sound and I have the cleanest house in California, thanks to her. She also makes the best Korean foods you've ever eaten! God I miss her already! Anyhow...I wish a bus load of tourists would show up for a tour of the place while the house is so very looong-time clean. That is, before it turns back into a pumpkin or it's usual dusty self. Hell, my wonderful sister-in-law even dusted off all my Elvis memorabilia in the "Elvis Bathroom"! What a woman!!! Yes, we really do have an "Elvis Bathroom" done in Viva Las Vegas gold and white. The E bathroom has two small chandeliers hooked up to a dimmer switch for mood lighting (I guess) while you poop. We are shipping our son the 8th grader out to Washington DC, Philadelphia, and maybe Fresno (nyuk-nyuk) for a historical tour. The wife (my very own Iron Empress) considers this is money well spent. Hmmm? I doubt he will learn much or see much, though... because he's sooo damn busy texting some of his shit-head friends and listening to his stupid Ipod. I'm a Dad so let me rant, please. Oh well, that's teenagers for ya. Let's see...also this month...I have a niece, in Sacramento, graduating from college! The son and I will go up there for her graduation. She receives her Masters in mathematics (of all things)! I still can't believe she did it even though she's directly related to me and does not have even one drop of Korean blood in her veins. Well, that's about it for now. Hope all is well with you and yours. Please keep our troops and their families in your prayers. Soldiers Angels needs some money, so help 'em if ya can!
Ruv You All Very LOOONG Time,
JG & Family

It's Soldier Saturday! Let's Dance!!!

Soldiers, Saturday, and Lady GaGa. It don't get no better than that!!!

(I found it on BLACKFIVE! Best Milblog ev'ah!!!)