Sunday, November 6, 2011

English Lessons

As some of you may Korean nephew, Jae has been visiting with us since early September. I have been working with him on English (American Style) and he is a good student. His comprehension has vastly improved in only 8 weeks, thanks to my intensive training program! Thanks to me, he's learned how to catch a nice trout at 7,650 ft elevation while asleep on a rock! He has learned the joys of an In-n-Out burger Double Double and knows what "Animal Style" is all about! He knows how to use the word "bullshit" like a pro! Hell, it was only the other day that he told me that my BULLSHIT was BULLSHIT. Totally AWESOME! He sounded like a Raiders fan LOOONG time!!! And that's no BULLSHIT! This long visit of his has really turned into an exchange program of sorts. He has taught my lovely wife and I much about the iPhone4...texting...apps...and pretty much about life... as seen through his 25 year old eyes. Like our teenaged son, Jae is a fun kid (I'm so old, I can call him that!) who has been drafted and done his time, 2 years of active duty humping a radio, in the South Korean "ROK" Army. Jae is with us now until December, when he will return home, then resume college in February. I will miss him mightily and wish him all the best. the clock winds down and he's getting closer to that plane ride home... I'm beginning to worry. You see...I, as in "ME, MYSELF, and I"... have tutored him in American English according to MY conversational skills and idiotic idiot-syncrasies/cursing-quirks. Have you seen the Clint Eastwood movie "Gran Torino"? If so, you'll remember the barbershop conversations and understand. It's been pretty much like that, ya see. Let me give you a typical JihadGene English 101 Conversational Class that happened in our Mom-n-Pop clothing store, not more than 2 days ago:

GENE- Jae, you got a big-ass head, son!

JAE- I have a big head because I have a big brain, Uncle Gene.

GENE- So... you're saying you're very smart, are you?!

JAE- Yes , Uncle Gene. That's what I'm saying.

GENE- So? Well, so what?!...I've got a big ass! Does that make me some kind of a smart ass? (me chuckling to myself)

JAE- Well, Uncle Gene...judging by it's size, I would think you were Einstein. (expressionless)

GENE- OMG! I've created a monster!


USA_Admiral said...

Time just goes by way too fast and that is what makes some sweet memories.

I think creating a monster like that will be good for the world.

If that is beings monster then countme as a monster.

USA_Admiral said...


If that counts as being a monster, then count me as a monster.

(my eyesight is not what it used to be.)

stopsign said...

Einstein You have created a monster. lol Looong time.

Kid said...

Sounds like a Great Time JG. Enjoy. Yes, it will be over too soon. Great times always are....