Korean New Year: KIM Jong IL Talks Football and Beer

Meanwhile back in Norf Korea on the north side of South Korea's goal post (the DMZ) it's Korean New Year's Day and we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL, thinking and drinking, NFL football...LOOONG TIME...while watching cartoons on TV.

KIM: You knows, General Wang,...for Korean New Years...I'm just wishes that Betts Favre was going to bee in the Soupers Bowl. (BELCH!)

WANG: I didn't know you liked American football, Great Reader Sir.

KIM: Butt of clourse! NFHell Footsball is very good game!! (BURRRP!!!) Hands me a'nudder beer...will you, General Wang?

(Wang goes to KIM's 225 sq ft compact bar fridge, opens door, and finds all sorts of beers)

WANG: Uhhh...Great Reader, Sir?

KIM: What's problem?

WANG: Which brand do you want, Sir? There are so many...

KIM: The green and yellow, white and green, purple and white one...of course!

WANG: Hmm...(examines beer)... I've never heard of this beer, Great One.

KIM: You means to tells me you never herds of OLD NUMBA #4, made by Betts Brewery?!

WANG: I'm afraid not, Sir...

KIM: Why...it's the beer that made the Green Bay Jets of New York City, Minnesota famous!


WANG: I should of known.

KIM- Wanna watch some TV with me, General Wang?

(KIM puts on his green & yellow Viking helmet)

WANG: Uhhh...well...no thanks, Sir. I'm not into Spongebob Squarepants.

KIM- What???!!! I'm thoughts it was a show about Gween Bay fans! Damn!!!

WANG: Anything else before I go, Sir?

KIM: Change TV channel on remote.

WANG: Certainly, Great Reader...what to?

KIM: The K-9 channel... I want to see sneak previews of the 2011 Westminster Dog Show. I'm heard Michaels Vick is gonna be one of the judges!

WANG: (OMG)...

fin.

* This one's for that "Favre Lover" LOOONG time....UNCLE JIMBO...at BLACKFIVE.

(also known as: UNCLE JIMBLOW and BRACKFIVE, in Norf Korean speak.)

KIM Jong IL Not Surprised

Dateline: Pyongyang (APee)- Great Reader of Norf Korea, KIM Jong IL, has just discovered he has a half-sister in the Chicago, Illinois area. Her name is Oprah Winstuffforfree.

Koreans Kick Pirate Butt!!! Let's Dance!!!

Not only do Norf Koreans kick Somali pirate butt as seen HERE...but so do the South Koreans who have had it with paying ransom to Somali pirates as seen HERE today.
The score? All 21 members of the South Korean vessel safe...not so much the 8 dead Somali pirates and 4 captured. In honor of this day let's all dance to a super looong time cool tune! This is an oldy but a goody I wrote a ways back...
Remember that song "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits? You know...I want my MTV and all of that? Sure ya do! So I wrote this here song through the sand-filled eyes of Iranian Freedom Fighters (AKA: terrorists) Abdul and Mohammad, on location (redeployed) in Iraq...

(*Abdul sings to Mohammad)



I want to,
I want to,
I want to be Somali...

I want to,
I want to,
I want to be Somali...

Now look at them Muslim brothers
That's the way you do it
You play buccaneer like that Somali
That ain't working, that's the way you do it
Money from the Great Satan and your Virgins almost for free

Now that ain't working, that's the way you do it
Let me tell you them Pirates ain't dumb
Maybe catch a head-shot from some Navy frigate
Maybe get off with only a cut left thumb

We got to do the will of Allah
Custom weapons deliveries
We got to kill Allah's agitators
We got to clean all these R.P.G.'s

The little pirate with the earring and the makeup
Yeah Mohammad, that's his own teeth
That little pirate got his own jet airplane (ride)
That little pirate even get's B.L.T.'s (sorry Allah)

(*Abdul and Mohammad sing together)

We got to do the will of Allah
Custom weapons deliveries
We got to kill Allah's agitators
We got to clean these R.P.G.'s

We got to do the will of Allah
Custom weapons deliveries
We got to kill Allah's agitators
We got to clean these R.P.G.'s

(*Mohammad sings to Abdul)

Look at that, look at that
I should have learned to talk like a pirate
I should have learned to dance a jig
Look at that punk-ass pirate, grinnin at the cameras
While we sweat our balls off, here...chewin on figs
And Obama's up there, what's that? Hawaiian noises?
Shakin' hands like a fuckin chimpanzee (Oooo...I said chimpanzee)
Oh, that ain't working, that's the way you do it
Get your power from ACORN and your bailouts for free (not free for taxpayers)

(*Abdul busts-up and joins Mohammad in song)

We got to do the will of Allah
Custom weapons deliveries
We got to kill Allah's agitators
We got to clean these R.P.G.'s

Listen here
Now that ain't working, that's the way you do it
You play the Pirate on the NBC
That ain't working, that's the way you do it
Food for nothing and your cell (jail) for free
Clothing for nothing and running water for free

Get your prayer mat for nothing, get your Korans for free
Clean sheets for nothing, pen & paper for free

Look at that, look at that
Get your TV for nothing, get your basketball for free
(I want to, I want to, I want to be Somali)
Law library for nothing and the ACLU to help you get out for free

Easy, easy

That ain't working

JihadGene and KIM Jong IL

KIM: JihadGene, you are one lay-gee (lazy) in-dye-bid-ual!

ME: Me? A lazy individual? Nawww...Why you say that, Great Reader?

KIM: Beeclaws you NO brogg LOOONG time!!! What's a matta for you, huh?!

ME: Been thinking I don't like doing this so much....the thrill is gone...so to speak.

KIM: Who are you, B.B. Bean?

ME: I think you got L.L. Bean and B.B. King mixed up there, oh Great One.

KIM: All I'm nose is you acting like Mr Bean on holiday...and you no do nothing brogging! In old daze you write about me LOOONG time!!! Now you just waste time on Faces of Book clicking the "I rike it" button on all kinds of weird commenting shit. You even gots friends you don't even knows!

ME: So where we going with this, Great Reader?

KIM: Are you going to continue to brogg all about glorious Great Reader KIM Jong IL or stop your brogging all together?

ME: Hmmm...I don't have all that much time to blog and I haven't been good about visiting other friends on their blogs....so I uh...well... I'm not sure I'll continue. Guess I'm undecided right now.

KIM: Think about it. You betta think about it LOOONG time and give me an answer by Korean New Years Day!!!

ME: We'll see.

KIM: Indeed.