Meanwhile somewhere north of the South African World Cup vuvuzela zealots...we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL talking to his son, KIM Jong Un, about the soccer match with Portugal...
GREAT READER: So, Glass-hopper ...how did glorious soccer match against heathens of Porch-U-gull go?
SON: It did not go well, Great Father.
GREAT READER: What was score?
SON: Dad, they beat us SEVEN-NOTHING and we were lucky to get nothing.
GREAT READER: Did you not discuss TicTacs ?
SON: Yes, Father...we discussed tactics.
GREAT READER: You gave them a PEPPY-talk... did you not?
SON: (tearing up, head down) Yes Dad, I gave them a pep-talk... but I failed.
...sniff...sniff...What should I do?
GREAT READER: Well, when wife give you womens, make women-aide!
SON: (head up) So what do I do, Father?
GREAT READER: Give Coach and team a PREP talk.
SON: What's a "prep" talk, Sir?
GREAT READER: It's a "PREP-PARE TO DIE, YOU MUDDER-PUCKERS!!!"...kind of talk.
Now...go bro your nose, dry eyes, and put all of soccer team on
the DPRK's "Endangered Feces List"!!!
SON: Yes, Daddy! (exits excitedly, stage right)
GREAT READER: (yelling towards son) And thanks LOOONG time for the vodka-flavored-viagra-infused Father's Day veggie gift pack, Son!!!
SON: (from far off) Por nada.