The Vietnam War...I remember it well... My Chinook helicopter was coming in "Low 'n Slow" to pull a lone African American soldier out of the jungle and out of harm's way. My chopper was taking numerous RPG hits and receiving friendly 105 and 155mm cannon fire. It was thick as a jungle in the jungle...we called it "the bush". I radioed for the very frightened young man to "pop smoke". He radioed back, "What color, Sir?" I told him..."PURPLE HAZE". And that, my great readers...is how I saved Pvt Jimmi Hendrix.
It's BRIAN WILLIAMS WEDNESDAY!!! ...When MY Chinook helicopter went down HARD after taking RPG and AK fire, I handed out squirrel to the pilots and crew. They loved 'em!
BREAKING INFIDEL NEWS!!! Not to be outdone by Secretary of State John Kerry...Vice President Joe Biden has asked singer Ray Stevens to sing "Ahab the Arab" at the funeral of Saudi Arabian King Abdullah! Keep our most highly awesome US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers and have a great weekend LOONG time!!! That is all.
I just spoke with President Obama and he has assured me that Ebola is only the J.V. of viruses. Stay tuned for Tomahawks over Texas. -Bob out.
Meanwhile...somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong Un surprised by THIS news nugget. (click here)
KIM: (on computer) Huh???!!! Chelsea Crintton on speaking tour??? General Wang! General Wang! Come krick!
WANG: Right here, Great One! What seems to be the matter, Sir? Comcast down again?
KIM: No, Commiecast is working fine...but look! (points at screen)
WANG: Wowsers! She makes as much as $75, 000 (US) per speaking engagement, Sir. She's making bank!
KIM: You ain't whistling Dixie Chicks, Wang!
WANG: But Sir...what's she going to talk about?
KIM: All kind of matter 'o facts , General Wang! Very LOOONG time sad and heart-winching stories she will tell!!! (amused grin on face)
WANG: Really? Sad stories?
KIM: Very sad store-wees! Imagine the probably-hillbillies! (dreamy grin on face)
WANG: (now with dreamy grin on face) You're right, Great Reader! I see her in my mind's eye... speaking about poverty, soup kitchens, military service, and rejection.
(General Wang goes into trance and begins channeling Chelsea Clinton)
KIM: (evil grin...with eyes wide) You, Wang! You are Shellsea Crintton! Speak to me! Speak now, Shellsea!
WANG: (with Chelsea's voice) When we left the White House we were "Dead Broke". We had to eat gruel served up in soup kitchens. Mom couldn't even bake cookies. After Buddy the dog got run over ...we ate him.
KIM: (encouraging) MMMmmm...yummy! Go on!
WANG: I was in the bad part of town...always dodging sniper fire with my Mom. It was good training for me. It made me tough!
KIM: (sounding like a Korean Ed McMahon) Really? How toughs were you?
WANG: I was so tough, I went into a Marine Corps recruiter's office!
KIM: Wheelie?! What happened??
WANG: Yes, really! I volunteered for the Marine Corps and for a combat tour of duty! A tour of duty as a member of Force Recon!
KIM: (laughing) Yes! YES!
WANG: But I was RE-JECTED! (eyes watering)
KIM: (jumping up and down for joy)
I'm know! I'm knows why you were ejected!
WANG: (coming out of trance) ...Why, Great Reader? Why was Chelsea rejected by the Marine Corps?
KIM: Because of the Repubbrickans "War on Women"!
WANG: Bingo, Sir!
KIM: YES!!!
(Thanks LOOONG time to Carrie C. for the inspiration of this piece!)
BREAKING NORF KOREAN NEWS!!! President Barack Whosenamed Obama has just granted "TEAM BRAZIL" amnesty! According to Obama...Team Brazil will be redeployed to Colorado where they will be welcomed and given a great victory parade, sponsored by the Denver Bronco's! So...smoke 'em if you got 'em! It's legal there. That is all.
It's a 4th of July Friday! Let's dance and be sure to keep our wonderfully wonderful US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers very LOOONG time!!! Call me maybe???
