Thursday, December 29, 2011
The North Korean Generals have changed KIM Jong Un's title, yet again. Click here. So...okay, now instead of "Great Suxccessor" KIM Jong Un is now called something else. Therefore...when President Obama comes to bow down and kiss KIM Jong Un's hand...or... "other" body parts...he should refer to him as the "SuperMe Reader". That is all.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
North Korea's Great Suxccessor, KIM Jong Un loves the Beverly Hillbillies LOOONG time!!! And...in a final farewell salute to his father the Great Reader, KIM Jong IL...had him delivered to the gravesite in "Hillbilly Style". We now resume our normal programming.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Meanwhile...in a land far away...only hours ago...Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL's last moments on planet Earf are spent with his aide de camp, 7 star General Wang. Let's listen in...
WANG: Great Reader, Sir! Before you go...there is something the North Korean people must know!
KIM: I'm goner LOOONG time, General Wang!!! I'm nose it. I'm fading fast but I'm try to hangs in there for one last question befloor I'm kicks eternal bucket. What is question?
WANG: What title shall we give KIM Jong Un when he takes over, Sir?
KIM: WTF?! My son, KIM Jong Un takes charge???!!! Oh GREAT!!! That SUCKS!!! Frickin MESS!!! My life is OVER!!!
(General Wang dutifully writes in notebook, "Great Successor")
Author's note- And now you nose, the rest of the story. JG;)
Sunday, December 18, 2011
"Lady GaGa must sings at mine father's funeral on December 28th, 2011...or else." -Fresh Prince of Hot Air (DPRK), KIM Jong Un
Friday, December 16, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Meanwhile....overheard at a Walmart on Black Friday...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
In past times, as a US Army Squad Leader (Sgt E-5), though never a Drill Sergeant, I issued ass chewings like one. LOUD ones! I do that to my teenage son as well, at times. In both cases, I cared about how they preformed. I loved my soldiers. And my son? Even more! I pray for him. ALWAYS! He needs to know this because...as a teen... he acts like I did...like he didn't hear it...or understand it...that is...the "WHYS" as to "WHY", I be issuing some righteous ASS CHEWINGS!...ones that a Drill Sergeant would be proud of! I did this same stuff to my Dad. Brushing him off as best I could. I know my son loves me, I just wish he wasn't so much like I was, at times. Thanks for hearing what was on my heart. JG
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
As some of you may know...my Korean nephew, Jae has been visiting with us since early September. I have been working with him on English (American Style) and he is a good student. His comprehension has vastly improved in only 8 weeks, thanks to my intensive training program! Thanks to me, he's learned how to catch a nice trout at 7,650 ft elevation while asleep on a rock! He has learned the joys of an In-n-Out burger Double Double and knows what "Animal Style" is all about! He knows how to use the word "bullshit" like a pro! Hell, it was only the other day that he told me that my BULLSHIT was BULLSHIT. Totally AWESOME! He sounded like a Raiders fan LOOONG time!!! And that's no BULLSHIT! This long visit of his has really turned into an exchange program of sorts. He has taught my lovely wife and I much about the iPhone4...texting...apps...and pretty much about life... as seen through his 25 year old eyes. Like our teenaged son, Jae is a fun kid (I'm so old, I can call him that!) who has been drafted and done his time, 2 years of active duty humping a radio, in the South Korean "ROK" Army. Jae is with us now until December, when he will return home, then resume college in February. I will miss him mightily and wish him all the best. But...as the clock winds down and he's getting closer to that plane ride home... I'm beginning to worry. You see...I, as in "ME, MYSELF, and I"... have tutored him in American English according to MY conversational skills and idiotic idiot-syncrasies/cursing-quirks. Have you seen the Clint Eastwood movie "Gran Torino"? If so, you'll remember the barbershop conversations and understand. It's been pretty much like that, ya see. Let me give you a typical JihadGene English 101 Conversational Class that happened in our Mom-n-Pop clothing store, not more than 2 days ago:
Friday, November 4, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Meanwhile, back at the White House...
Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Sorry this happened in my own home town, but I am so very glad LOOONG time that we have US Army Staff Sergeant (E-6) Jason Pruitt here in Hanford, California on recruiting duty! It seems some bone-headed pudgy 18 year old decided he would snatch a ladies purse. The lady yelled for help as the suspect/shithead was grabbing it. Fortunately SSG Pruitt heard her plea and chased the teenager/dirtbag, who was heading past the recruiter's office. SSG Pruitt subdued the criminal and held him for police who took the would-be purse snatcher to jail. I love stories with a happy ending! Especially ones with real heroes! An old recruiting slogan in the 1980's was "There's something about a soldier". Yes there is! And it's something very good! Hanford Sentinel newspaper story HERE.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL conversing with a troubled General Wang.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Some stuff I wish I could forget... but know I can't...nor should I. God bless all of our troops and friends in the continued War on Terror. Sorry if I offended any democrats out there by saying "WAR ON TERROR". Fly the flag. Pray for the families of our heros lost on 9-11-01, our troops on active duty, and their loved ones. God bless America.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Hope all you folks on the east coast are safe and doing well. It's a Saturday morning here in Central California, somewhere north of the DMZ of Bakersfield. Right now my teenager is probably praying. Praying for hurricane Irene to make landfall in the Fresno area. That way he won't have to mow the lawn. But he's dealing with a Dad! A Dad who was trained by the best! My trainer (and Dad) was a WWII Marine. So... "come hell or high water" (hurricanes too) ...the lawn will be mowed! I'm a Dad. It's what we Dad's do. I also tend to go KIM Jong IL when shit doesn't get done. Have a great weekend LOOONG time and keep all our troops and their families in your prayers!!! JG ;)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
I sincerely hope you are all having a great day! I would say more but I have a very busy day planned and I must Tweet some junk.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
THE OLD ARMY HYMN
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUK HIM!!! (long time)
Let's see..it was back in 1985 that I was a Military Police squad leader in what was then W. Germany, with a squad consisting of 8 females and 7 males. Yeah, they kept me busy...but some of those gals had more heart and bigger balls than some of the men. And out-shoot 'em too!
Well, no shit. So anyways I want to play ya'll a little song. A song called "Mama was a Working Man".
This song I dedicate to all the women in uniform and the wives who have to "hold down the fort" while their hubby is deployed. God bless you ladies, a very LOOONG time!!!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
My Blog friend Joated posted this on Facebook:
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Hello there! This is KIM "Jong IL" Kasem with a song DEADication froms Navy SEAL Team #6 going out to a wounded Mrs Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan! The SEALS have requested that I'm playz a HIT number done by The Black Eyed Peas! So just for her and her late husband's followers we enjoy together (with Korean dancing gurls!) the song "BOOM-BOOM, Pow!"
Have a good day LOOONG time!!! ;) JG
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
So last night, I told my lovely wife...my cute Norf Korean Minister of Finance...that I again wanted to buy a motorcycle. She thought for about a whole one half of one second then proceeded to remind me of my jaded motorcycling past. She recalled that I had committed jihad (code for crashed) on my old motorcycle in 2002, 2005....and yet again...only one week later, in 2005. I replied that I sure would like to have one...as I gave her my world famous "sweetest smile". :) She said nothing...but she gave me "the look". You know the look I'm talking about? Yes. That one. The look that tells you she is seriously considering giving NAVY SEAL TEAM#6 "the green light" to take your heathen motorcycle-wanting-ass out. Awww crap. My wife has the sweetest Korean face in the world, but being a Korean... stuff can go south or turn North Korean on you in a ramen minute. Ride safe!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Meanwhile somewhere north of the tunnels on the DMZ, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, afraid to go to sleep.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
A sad situation. Movie director and photographer, Tim Hetherington, was killed while filming in Libya. Some blog friends of mine knew Mr Hetherington personally, from the movie "Restrepo", a documentary about a platoon of 173rd Airborne Brigade Sky Soldiers on a combat tour in Afghanistan. You should see the movie if you haven't. I know Mr Hetherington did great work and I heard he was a wonderful guy. Our prayers go out to all who loved him and to those whose lives he most certainly touched. News story HERE.
Meanwhile somewhere north of the Samsung-Starvation Line (38th Parallel) we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL playing a game of charades with 7 star General Wang.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Meanwhile...somewhere north of Munsan, South Korea, we find Great Reader, KIM Jong IL once again in front of the television set.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL watching Shee-N-N breaking news on his Philco 19 inch, Super-Derux, brack and white, portable television set.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Why are you always so damned tired, Joe?
Hold on big guy! Before you unload on me, just hear me out. Ya see...what with the high cost of fuel and all...I have to supplement my vice presidential income somehow...so I took on another job.
Another job, Joe?! Really...what?
I work nights in Reno as an air traffic controller.
Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, firmly ensconced in his Lazy Homeboy Recliner watching President Obama's latest budget balancing speech on CNN.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Meanwhile, somewhere way out west of the west coast and north of the South Koreans, we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL reflecting on the latest news out of Washington DC...
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Friends: Even though I haven't written a "Love American vs Korean Style" since 2009, in the next week or two, I will continue to write about the RUV of my life (my wife, AKA: The lovely Kim) and our travels through the international web of love and marriage. It was rather funny but not exactly easy. Installment #19 was my last post way back in 2009 and I vow to you...you great-reader's you... that I will continue to tell all! Admittedly, some... and at times much of this, is B.S. sprinkled with about 65% truth. If you are new here please go back to read some of the earlier parts of this G.I.'s tale of love at first sight. This is me, JihadGene, as an old guy taking a look back at himself...and love...and raffing out roud! I can't help but come off sounding like Steinbeck writing about Cannery Row, as I write about the 1975 Republic of South Korea. Korea, in 1975 was a smell, a sound, a silence, and a strange sight to this 20 year old Californian. Looking back gives me great happiness and brings it all back again. It's a joy and a happiness that surrounds me, and reminds me of what is important in life...and what really does matter. I hope it comes across, in that way, for you. Have a wonderful weekend...wherever you are... and...by all means...keep our awesome troops and their families in your prayers a very LOOONG time!!! JG ;)
Friday, April 1, 2011
Love American VS Korean Style #19
In Part 1- I met the girl I would marry. Her name is Kim and RUV is in the air!!!
In Part 2- Spent all my money on a MASTER PLAN to set up a birthday party that would put me with Kim.
In Part 3- Stupid master plan FAILS!Kim gets puked on by drunk Birthday Boy. Kim leaves. I am miserable.
In Part 4- Korean Grandmothers (Shaman) take pity on me. We Kamikaze in a taxi to Kim's. Grandma's sitting on my lap crushing my huevos. I may never have children.
In Part 5- I survive the taxi ride. The Grandmothers tell me they will fix all. I must return to base. I can't beat the midnight curfew but I damn sure try.
In Part 6- Suicide ride on a bus bumper. Crash. Injuries and more. Concussion too! Police chase! Escape & Evade!
In Part 7- Climb a telephone pole. Steal a bike with one wheel. Make my Great Escape!
In Part 8- Ride bike into a Banjo-Ditch (sewage). Another concussion and a laceration on the forehead. I crawl out and am captured by the ROK Army, then returned to base.
In Part 9- Got stitches/medical treatment at 0130 hours. Later that AM, a meeting with Military Police 1SG Black Thunder Johnson. Made an Ambassador to South Korea. Run to Motor Pool for a jeep.
In Part 10- Bicycle recovered. I fall into the banjo ditch. 1SG YOON/1SG Johnson/Me and the Korean Grandfather have a Pow-wow. Intercultural relations rebuilt! Valuable lessons learned.
In Part 11- The First Sergeants have a meeting. I am cleaned up at a ROK Army wash point. We go to Kim's. I am OBAMA, to the Korean OPRAH's (Grandmothers). I SEE KIM! We are returning to base.
In Part 12- I return to Camp with the First Sergeant's, jeep, and bicycle. My squad members, the house boys, and I/we all ponder MY fate. We break for chow (lunch). I opt for a nap and am awoken by my Squad leader SSG OLY. Intro to Staff Sergeant Oly (The Big "O") and the infamous Three Beeps! Time has come...I head for the orderly room.
In Part 13- I report to the orderly room. My fate is suspended until the next day when I must report back to the First Sergeant with my Squad Leader. I am re-directed to the unit supply room and meet Sergeant James Wheeler.
In Part 14- Learn about ambassadorship, love of life, Korean orphanages, and about giving from the US Army's Santa Claus, Sergeant Jimmy Wheeler.
In Part 15- I was to meet my fate. But what was it? I was reassigned and given a "Special Assignment". But what was it? I didn't know.
In Part 16- My "Special Assignment" was to ride shotgun on the trash truck going through our Army base. I banged my head on the truck's handrail and limply fell to the ground. With Kotex applied to my forehead I was taken to the Evac Hospital and returned to my unit. I am a cross between Elvis, Audie Murphy, Evel Knievel, Sad Sack, Ralph Kramden, and a crash test dummy.
In Part 17- I meet with The Iron Empress of Korea and her man, Huey P. LeDew of Houma, Louisiana. A date with my KIM...the love of my life, is arranged.
In Part 18- I wait at the main gate to meet Kim and the LeDew's to taxi over to some park on our 1st date. I worry. Taxi is late, I think. What the heck happened to her?
So anyways... there I was at Gate#1. Camp Hialeah, in the Republic of Korea, April Fool's Day (April 1st) 1975. I have been waiting for my lovely Kim to arrive at the gate for our first official date. I was sooo excited! I was at the gate an hour and 15 minutes early. All these horrible thoughts raced through my mind like...Kim killed in a fiery car crash when coming to meet me...or that Kim was really a beautiful North Korean spy sent to break my heart and find out all the top secrets of the US Army's M151A1 (jeep)...or was this all some silly dream, one in which I would wake up in a United States full of illegal aliens waving Mexican flags, demanding even more health care, and stuck to serve under the leadership of a community organizer? Hell, Nixon and Ford were bad enough but soon I was to learn of Jimmy Carter.
Nawww...it was none of that I quickly realized as the light blue Korean taxi stopped in front of Gate#1. Inside was my buddy PFC Huey P. LeDew of Houma, Louisiana. Huey told me in his cajun voice that the girls, my lovely Kim and the Iron Empress (Huey's wife), would "meet us at a big park on a hill some-damn-where overlooking the city of Pusan". I became panicked and flew off the handle saying "What the hell do you mean some-damn-where, Huey?!" Huey responded with a weak "I kind of remember where it is up on a hill around here." Huey begins looking east and west. I yell at Huey "There's hills all around this city! We're talking a city of more than 2 million people, Huey! Hell, 75% of South Korea is mountains! Don't you know where the hell we're going?! Holy crap! There's nothing but parks or cemeteries on most of the hills around here!" Like a conservative at a town hall meeting I just can't stop and I continue to get louder saying... "Here it is, my very first date with Miss Kim and you don't know where in the hell it is we are to meet them?! Do you have any idea how damn hard it was for me to get this far with Miss Kim...huh?!" Huey just smiled. I dived into Huey like an ACORN executive into a pool of stimulus cash, yelling "IT TOOK ME OVER 3 WEEKS! THREE WEEKS, HUEY! I FELL OFF THE BACK OF A PUSAN CITY BUS GOING 40 MPH FOR HER! I THREW IN WITH A BUNCH OF OLD KOREAN WITCHES FOR HER! I CLIMBED A TELEPHONE POLE EVADING ARREST BY THE KOREAN POLICE FOR HER! I GOT LOCKED AND LOADED ON BY THE R.O.K. ARMY WITH M-16's AND LIT UP BY THE TURRET OF AN M-60 TANK FOR HER! I STOLE A ONE WHEELED BICYCLE AND RODE IT DOWN INTO A BANJO DITCH FOR HER! I BLEW A MONTH'S PAY TO SET UP A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR SOME ASSHOLE JUST SO I COULD GET CLOSE TO HER! IT COST ME FOUR HUNDRED BUCKS, HUEY! FOUR HUNDRED! DID I, BY CHANCE, FAIL TO MENTION THE 3 OR MORE CONCUSSIONS AND THE FACT THAT I HAD TO HAVE MY HEAD STITCHED UP, NOT ONCE...BUT TWICE?! AND ALL THE WHILE, HUEY...ALL THE WHILE... THE MEDIC'S IN THE EVAC HOSPITAL LAUGHED AT ME! FOR GOD'S SAKES, HUEY...I'VE HAD A FEMALE M.P. HOLD A FUCKING KOTEX TO MY HEAD TO STOP THE BLEEDING BECAUSE I FELL OFF A GARBAGE TRUCK WHILE SALUTING OUR C.O. AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS LOVELY GIRL, MY MISS KIM! ALL THIS WHILE MY FELLOW MP's LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF AT ME! I TELL YOU...I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!"
Winded... I stopped to catch my breath. Now then. Composure regained. Like a republican stuck with having to vote for John McCain, I told Huey with a voice raw from yelling, that in no uncertain terms..." You are looking at a desperate man here, Huey. How can anyone be so foolish as to not know where"...wait a minute. Wait. a. minute. Just one stinkin' minute! It was then I realized Huey was grinning at me the whole time I was yelling and trying to keep himself from laughing his Bubba Gump ass off. Huey was playing a joke on me and now he broke out into one of those big guffawing southern fried laughs of his. I looked at our Korean chain-smoking taxi driver who was smiling and shaking his head like he was in on it. "Boy, I had you going" Huey bellowed! With that we were off to the park to meet the girls. Huey laughed his fool-head off the entire way.
Though it was a weekday it was pretty busy at the park's entrance. Anyway, there at the entrance, we see the girls! We walk the park together. I am completely in love with my Miss Kim. Kim and I walk together, no hand holding (too early for that) Huey and his beautiful wife are not far behind. I look back at Mrs Huey P. LeDew, The Iron Empress, who gives me a slight smile and an approving nod. It's a beautiful day! I break out my Kodak and it's time for pictures. I take pictures of Huey and The Iron Empress...of the girls...they take pictures of Huey and me...screw that! Time for Kim and I to take a picture of our first date together, April 1st 1975. I'm in heaven! Things are going so good now and I'm so fired up that I put my arm around Kim and she says in an angelic voice some Korean phrase or expression I've never heard or noticed before. She said, "I Goo."
It sounded beautiful to me! As we went through the park I got lots of "I goo's" out of her as I put my arm around her for photos. It sounded like I was really sweeping her off her feet the way she said it. I'm excited! The sun is shining. Finally, the Iron Empress (Huey's wife) took me aside and told me to quit putting my arm around her. As regal and lovely as The Iron Empress was... I challenged her, I said..."But she keeps saying "I Goo". That means she likes it, in Korean, right?" The Empress smiled, shook her regal head no, and told me "I Goo" was the Korean equivalent of Huey's saying "Oh Shit". I thanked Her Majesty for the Korean lesson and thought "I Goo".
A few weeks later Saigon, South Vietnam fell into the hands of the enemy (John Kerry supporters) and I proposed to the lovely
Miss Kim. Stay tuned as this Korean love story ain't over yet. JG;)
*It really be us JihadGene & Miss Kim 4-01-1975