Meanwhile somewhere on the Demilitarized Zone of the two Korea's
(one free...the other more like California) the US Army has intercepted this TV broadcast from North Korea...
ANCHOR: Hello Comrades...and welcome to the Kimmy Newz Network! We, the gloriously starving perky reporters at KNN give you all you need to know when the Great Reader KIM Jong IL says you need to know it! First in today's newz, is our teleconferenced interview with the Great Reader, KIM Jong IL about recent developments with our allies in Chicago!!!
*(KIM appears on screen)
KIM: Tank you. Tank you berry much! WOW! I'm sounds just rike Elvis, looong time!!!
ANCHOR: You sure do Great Reader! So tell us as we all sit on the edge of our seats
(most likely a dirt floor) will it be Achmedineajad, Chavez, or Great Reader KIM Jong IL?
KIM- Well, as you nose...Barrack "Whose-Named" OBLAMA is one busy indyebidual what with date nights, ignoring Tea Parties and news of ACORN, beer summits, vacations, trips to Europe, Blahda-blahda-blahda...and now a trip to the Copenhagen chewing tobacco factory...and well...what with Achmedineajad launching all his shit...and Chavez, who ain't got shit...I'd say I was a shoe-in for the gig!
ANCHOR- But what about Gaddafi of Libya?
KIM- Don't be a Dan Rather! You see how that gender-confused-tent-dweller looks physically...not to mention how he's dressed?!!!
ANCHOR- Well there you have it, Comrades... Great Reader KIM Jong IL will be lighting the torch at the 2016 Olympics in Chicago!
KIM- Good night, Chet.
KATIE- And that's... the way it is, Comrades.