WTF? KIM Jong IL is IRISH?

Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel, in the Land 'O Peacekeeping Offensive Nukes, we find the Great Reader KIM Jong O'Ill and his trusty aide de'camp General Wang checking the KIM family genealogy for some, as yet, little known facts about the Norf Korean Great Reader's ties with Ireland.

KIM- Oklay, General Wang...so have you found out about my Irish heritage yet?

WANG- Well Sir, there are some...shall I say, interesting correlations, here regarding Ireland and you, oh Great One, that I found on the internet.

KIM- Wheelie?!

WANG- Yes. Really, Sir.

KIM- Such as...?

WANG- Well...Ireland is divided into 2 countries. North Ireland and the Republic of Ireland.

KIM- Flatten-ate-ing!!!

WANG- Yes. Fascinating, Sir.

KIM- What else?!

WANG- Well, to this day Ireland is not a member of NATO, Sir.

KIM- Wow! Same-same like Norf Korea! Tell me more!

WANG- Let's see...Northern Ireland has 6 counties while southern Ireland only has 4, Sir.

KIM- Ploof once again that the Norf is far slooperior to da souf!!! What else?!

WANG- Yes. Uh...local authorities do not control the police. This is done on a national level.

KIM- Same-same Norf Korea! Tell me more!

WANG- It is a biological fact that there are no snakes in Ireland.

KIM- Same-same Norf Korea. We ate 'em all!

WANG- Yes...(except you)...Great Reader. Snake free.

KIM- Oklay, enough with Irish fax! Am I or am I not related to anyone of Irish brud?

WANG- Irish blood? Well yes, Your Greatness. You have a twin cousin and the resemblance is quite-frankly astounding, Sir.

KIM- Who is it?! Who is it?!!

WANG- Do you really want to know, Sir?

KIM- Yes, I'm wheelie wants to know! Now tell me, Damb it!!!

WANG- It's Hornswoggle of the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment).

KIM- That hurts.

WANG- Another Guinness, Sir?

KIM- Yeah...and see if you can hook us up with tickets to WrestleMania XXV.

WANG- Coming right up!

KIM- Where the hell is my shillelagh?

(* I did this piece for the great Matty 'O Burden of BLACKFIVE)