Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Growing Kid's God's Way or Gene's got the Blues



(phone) Ring. Ring. Ring-a-dingie-ding.

ME- Hello.

PRINCIPAL- Mr JihadGene?

ME- That's me.

PRINCIPAL- This is Principal Highstandards at the Jesus Loves You Christian School and your son has been overheard saying some rather bad words in class. Blah-blah-blah.

ME- He did, huh? 2nd offense? You wanna paddle him?

PRINCIPAL- Uh, yes Sir.

ME- Times a wasting! If ya need a good belt I got one here at the house. Oh, I forgot...you have a wooden paddle for that! Cool. So just light his ass up like the good Lord when he rained down burning sulfur on those heathen bastards of Sodom and Goliath!

PRINCIPAL- That's Sodom and Gomorrah, Mr Jihad.

ME- Gomorrah, Goliath, whatever....they all got their asses kicked by the good Lord, didn't they?!

PRINCIPAL- Yes they all paid a price, Sir. Now about young Jihad's language...

ME- No problem. You just fire his 13 year old heathenistic ass right-up and I'll take care of his butt, or what's left of it, when he gets the hell home.

PRINCIPAL- Mr Jihad, could you come to my office please?

(Now I have to go into the Principal's office. Like father like son...shit)

9 comments:

pamibe said...

So just light his ass up like the good Lord when he rained down burning sulfur on those heathen bastards of Sodom and Goliath!

OMG, post a coffee warning, will ya? I'm gonna run out of keyboards one day soon...!

ROFL!! Great one!

Evil Transport Lady said...

Hahahahahaha! So what where the big bad words???

JihadGene said...

Pam- Glad you liked it!

ETL- Silence is golden.

I don't really have to go into the Principal's office but my son did get his booty burnt plus grounded plus whatever other rotten chores I can think up for him to do. ;]

Tammi said...

I've walked many a mile in your son's shoes, from the sounds of it.

And just so you know....didn't do a damned bit of good. ;-)

JihadGene said...

Tammi- I thought so. ;]

Anonymous said...

Maybe my dear, sweet nephew didn't just say those words. Perhaps he was quoting some of your blogging.
Love you anyway,
Elder Sister

H2o said...

Bwhahahaha...

So what did he say? My daughter told her teacher to stop with the blond act the other day and I thought I was going to bust out laughing when the teacher told me.

Maeve said...

ROFLMAO!!!!
There are times that I'm glad my son can't speak.
Mommy has a trash mouth.

Anonymous said...

.... bwhahaahhaha....... you got called to the Principal's office on principle!.....