(phone) Ring. Ring. Ring-a-dingie-ding.
ME- Hello.
PRINCIPAL- Mr JihadGene?
ME- That's me.
PRINCIPAL- This is Principal Highstandards at the Jesus Loves You Christian School and your son has been overheard saying some rather bad words in class. Blah-blah-blah.
ME- He did, huh? 2nd offense? You wanna paddle him?
PRINCIPAL- Uh, yes Sir.
ME- Times a wasting! If ya need a good belt I got one here at the house. Oh, I forgot...you have a wooden paddle for that! Cool. So just light his ass up like the good Lord when he rained down burning sulfur on those heathen bastards of Sodom and Goliath!
PRINCIPAL- That's Sodom and Gomorrah, Mr Jihad.
ME- Gomorrah, Goliath, whatever....they all got their asses kicked by the good Lord, didn't they?!
PRINCIPAL- Yes they all paid a price, Sir. Now about young Jihad's language...
ME- No problem. You just fire his 13 year old heathenistic ass right-up and I'll take care of his butt, or what's left of it, when he gets the hell home.
PRINCIPAL- Mr Jihad, could you come to my office please?
(Now I have to go into the Principal's office. Like father like son...shit)
