Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Korean TV and Koreans


THE TV (KOREAN)
Don't ya just love it when ya feel like doggie-doo and you really don't want to do much of nothing because of all the 100+ degree global warming crap, called summer? All I wanted to do today, and everyday for the rest of my not-so totally-miserable adult life, is watch a bunch of BS in "High Def" on our brand new (thanks to the GW Bush tax refund) Samsung 46 inch HD LCD TV. However this brogging shit is a commitment, as well as some kind of an addiction... like TV... I guess. I am committed to this (post) for the next 10 minutes anyway, or I should be committed...ah...but you already know that, so I'll just plug away here with my two (US ARMY on-the-job trained) typing index fingers. Man, I wanna watch TV so bad right now. If I could just watch the Weather Channel and see how's the weather in Squid Bay, Arkansas or see hailstones, as big as baseballs, falling on Goat Penis, Oklahoma! ...or man... I just know Obama is gonna say some more lame stuff about Iran, or about Big Oil, or the Economy, and man-oh-man, his big honkin' ears are sooo much bigger and honkin'er, in awesome High Def! When Michelle Obama says crap like...
"That is why I am here, because Barack Obama is the only person in this who understands that. That before we can work on the problems, we have to fix our souls. Our souls are broken in this nation." You gotta hear it on the Samsung, in surround sound! What a scream!! She sounds so totally f*ckin NUTZ!!! But nooo, I have to pull myself away from the beautiful jet black lacquered finish of the 46 inch Samsung, series5, model 530, with the swivel base! Did I tell ya about the swivel base? Oh it's sweet, I wanna tell ya.
THE WIFE (KOREAN)
This was gonna be my best summer ever and then the wife steps in front of (into) the picture. Full Metal Jacket was on the other day and she wants to watch some stupid Korean soap opera...I'd rather take an ass-beating...but having relinquished my balls, so many years ago, I handed her the remote. I hate Dish TV. Why the hell do Koreans have to have TV, anyway? Just because South Koreans make the world's best TV's doesn't mean they should watch them, damn it! I feel so sorry for all our Korean War Veterans. To think, our brave Korean War Veterans, shed their blood for the rotten South Koreans who wanna watch soaps on TV or ads about the latest plastic piece-o-shit kitchen gadget, that effortlessly guts a dog's carcass. I wonder if Radio Shack has a Korean Satellite jamming device? Hell, I'd be willing to make 48 easy payments at 27% interest for that. I knew inter-racial marriages had their difficulties, but this sucks Ostrich eggs laced with kimchee.
Gotta go before she catches me in the act of diss'n her.
;-)

2 comments:

Hammer said...

I've never understood asian TV,
humiliating Japanese game shows being the only exception.

I used my tax refund to purchase KY jelly to use when I go to fill up my truck.

JihadGene said...

Hammer-
I have a Dodge truck. I KNOW.