Feeling Crappy Friday Let's Dance

It's Friday...I've been sick as a dog with some kind of a flu thing. Whitney Houston passed, I missed KIM Jong IL's Norf Korean birthday bash, and my wife has been holding down the fort at our clothing store (I call it Fashion Thug). Sometimes you've just gotta hold on. I've got a wonderful wife to hold on to and I am truly blessed. This song is for my lovely wife. I pray that you too, have someone to hold on to. Be sure to take some of that love and admiration and share it with someone in our US Armed Forces. Good begets good. It's Friday...let's dance.

Congressman Jim Costa Names Locomotive

BREAKING NORTH KOREAN NEWS!!! Congressman Jim Co$ta (D-CA) announced today a proposal to name the new Califonia High Speed Rail...or "Bullet Train" after Soul Train's, Don Cornelius. Cornelius, who committed suicide with a handgun was unavailable for comment. We now return you to KIM Jong IL's Birthday Bash!

New DPRK Submarine Named

BREAKING NORTH KOREAN NEWS! In an effort to beat the Obama administration and Secretary of the US Navy, Raymundo Mabus at the naming of their own vessels, Supreme Leader, KIM Jong Un has announced today the naming of a new submarine..."The Whitney Houston". The Supreme Leader said, "This isn't just any old sub, by enemy (any) means! No sir, Syng-man Rhee, buddy! This is the all new "LL Cool J" class, crack-attack submarleene! Gabby Giffords...eat your hearts out LOOONG time!!!" We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, mourning the loss of Great Reader KIM Jong Whatshisface. That is all.

KIM Jong Un Solves Mystery

Meanwhile somewhere north of South Korea's 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Supreme Leader, KIM Jong Un playing a game of "Name that Voice" with 7 star General Wang. Let's listen in...

KIM: Okray General Wang, I'm ready. Play tapes recording!

WANG: Yes, Supreme Leader!

(turns Mattel See'n Say arrow to a picture of Barack Hussein Obama and pulls string)

SEE'nSAY: "I was going to do something today but I haven't finished doing nothing from

yesterday."

WANG: Okay, Your Supremeness. Who was the mystery voice?

KIM: Doo overs!

WANG: Yes, Sir. (pulls See N Say ring)

SEE'nSAY: "I was going to do something today but I haven't finished doing nothing from

yesterday."

KIM: Hmmm...it's not Eartha Kitt....not Mike Tyson...or Scatman Crothers. Gots it!

WANG: Okay, Sir...then who is it?

KIM: Bawack Whosenamed Obama! I'm wins! I'm wins LOOONG time!!! Woot-Woot!!

WANG: Very good, Oh Leaderous One...but for 10 million bonus points...where was President Obama when he said this?

KIM: EZ! Him was on golf course!! I'm am Champion LOOONGER time!!! Wooty-Woot-WOOOTY!!! Now make ding-ding sound, General Wang!

WANG: Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

KIM: Wang, pull string one last time for Super-Supreme Leader Bonus'er points!

WANG: (turns arrow, pulls string)

SEE'nSAY: "ZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzz..."

KIM: Too EZ... It's Joe Biden in his office! Now, let's go back to mourning the loss of my Dad. (tries to keep from laughing)

WANG & KIM: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaaa!!!

*Special thanks to FB friend Rave M. for the inspiration on this one! ;) JG

Half Time Show Big Hit in North Korea

BREAKING NEWS! The NFHELL halves-time show, viewed in North Korea, was a big hit with Supreme Leader KIM Jong Un! Supreme Leader said he RUV'd LOOONG time the GoDaddy KIM Jong IL Joy Brigade Girls w/Madge Donna, as well as the appearances of LMFDPRKAO, and D.C. Be Low on Green ($) !!!

It's Friday! Let's Dance with the Brits!

The good Lord and late-but-he-wasn't-great...KIM Jong IL, knows I loves me some soldiers and Elvis LOOONG time!!! God bless all our U.S. troops, their families, and those wild and crazy British allies of ours very LOOONG time!!! Keep 'em all in your prayers and...LET's DANCE!!

Joe Biden Stops Seal Team 6

BREAKING NORTH KOREAN NEWS!!! Vice Dicktater of the USA, Joe Biden announced today that he personally stopped President Barack Whosenamed Obama from using SEAL TEAM 6 to take out an enemy of the people. "I think he was gonna kill her sorry a$$!" ...Biden was quoted as saying, refering to Arizona's Governor, Jan Brewer. We now return you to mourning the loss of our Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, LOOONG time!!!