Now, as all of you know, I have been brainstorming with the President about the war in Adirondackistan. It is a costly war to say the least. I mean, have you seen those NY state taxes?! And the chairs those weirdos make up there... in their mountain caves... are about as uncomfortable as a Negro at a police lineup in Nacogdoches! It has therefore been decided that the American people will not support this war when facing a surtax. With that in mind, plus the fact that the Prez has been away in Kimchi-land showing off his barackwondo, I have recommended a war more palatable to the American people. My fellow Americans, I give you a new and more economical war! A war against an enemy that has sucked up all of Obama's air time on most major TV and cable news channels! A war against an enemy of both the Catholic Church and abortion rights activists! A foe that makes fun of Nuns! This enemy has even been seen in the company of BANDITS! I hereby announce that I, Big Joe Biden, propose to YOU... the people of the United States, that we immediately attack...and carpet-bomb with great prejudice...the hiding place of Miss Sally Field, in the country of Boniva! Our latest intel has her position fixed at the Roche Laboratories near a Fox News transmitting station. Thanks for your continued support and I'll notify the Air Force shortly. I love it when Obama's gone!!!
