Tuesday, September 8, 2009
KIM Jong IL on The Dating Game
ANNOUNCER- Hellrow and welcome to the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea's new TV show...
The Senior Dating Game! Produced, Staring, and Directed by KIM Jong IL!
Our special guest and alleged bachelor is none other than our own DickTater of Norf Korea...the Great Reader... KIM Jong IL!!!
Let's begin with some questions from the Great Reader...
KIM- Batchofyourlett numba 1, if I was Bawack Obama and you was old Grandma...of say, 55 years, and wanting a knee replacement...what wood you wants to hear from me?
NUMBER 1- Well, Great Reader...I mean, Obama...nothing really. I would commit suicide in the hopes that my body could be used as cord wood to warm your Imperial Palace at the House of White.
KIM- Good answer, Numba 1!
KIM- And Numba#2...what wood you doo?
NUMBER 2- Great Reader...I mean, Obama... as I am old and useless, I could ask nothing of you. I would make it my last official act on this globally warmed earth to insure that all my grandchildren are properly indoctrinated by the state of Obama in their schools of HOPE and CHANGE! Having made sure of that, I would then report for duty at the White House Walmart to be turned into a wallet, purse, or lampshade for some lucky Congressman or Senator.
KIM- Wow! How can it get any better than that?! I'm don'ts know!
What say you Numba 3?
NUMBER 3- Only reason I need a Doctor is cause you threw me under the bus with all the others...OBAMA, you Mutha-F@cker!!!
KIM- How the hell did Van Jones get in here?! You knows I'm no switch-hitter!!!
CHUCK BARRIS- Cut.