Monday, March 30, 2009

Let's Take a Test

I took a test over at Maeve's...and, well...

Shit! I tithe and everything and still I got a freekin' 14 percent chance of going to Hell! Guess I shouldn't have tithed my 401K Plan. Thanks a lot OBAMA, you A$$HOLE!!!


Pride: That shit is found in lions...not lions from Detroit, either. ZILCH %!

Lust: If the wife ain't looking...50%

Sloth: I'd do better but I need some rest...110%

Envy: I could care less what you drive...asshole...ZERO%

Gluttony: If it's Korean B-B-Que, then put me down for 300%

Greed: I drive a f*cked up Dodge truck. I wished I'd bought a Ford. If that's greed then put me down for 250%

Wrath: Don't *F* with me! 1,000%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: "ONLY" 14%

You will become famous - and subsequently killed by a stalker.

(*Lookin' forward to the future!!! Jeezzz..and I always thought it would be my Mom's God, Jehovah, or my Elder Sister Carol, who would have my worthless ass snuffed-out for the good of mankind).


Maeve said...

At least I'll be in good company while I'm in hell.

pamibe said...

I'm very slothful... I have to lie down now...

Anonymous said...

Hey, JG, that means there's an 86% chance we're going to heaven! I tend to be annoyed at this test because what I see as "Letting God smite people" they see as a vice because I won't take matters into my own hands. I don't reckon that's the complete definition of laziness.

Sloth: 40%... or a 60% chance I'm gonna take the time and effort to open a can of whupass on someone (or get some work done on any given day.)

Wrath: 40% Yeah. I got a lot to be angry about. But 60% of the time I wait patiently for the Karma Bus to run people down.

Gluttony: 20% Which coincidentally is my BMI.

Envy: 0% No one has anyhing I really want enough to piss off God by coveting it. Did you know envy is the one vice we don't get pleasure out of? None at all. When was the last time you saw an envious person who looked like they were having fun?

Greed: 0% AIG can bite me. No shrouds come with pockets and Brinks Trucks don't drive in funeral possessions.

Lust: 0% Men are nice, but only the nice ones.

Pride: 0% I've been told I suck for so long I think I believe them.

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14% Odds I can live with and not a whole lot of need for improvement, huh...

You will get bugs, because you're too lazy to shoo them off. And then you'll die.

Wait. Can't I get the bugs after I'm dead? Isn't that what most people do? I do everything backwards.

Thanks for the momentary diversion from work. hahah.


JihadGene said...

Maeve- Hang in there!

Pam- I hear ya!

DB- Thanks! Made me realize that 86 on the + side ain't too shabby. I wonder what Obama's odds are? If it comes down to bailouts and thieving he's gonna be one hot sucker!