Thursday, August 14, 2008

KIM Jong IL Discovers Julia Child is OSS Member of WWII

Meanwhile somewhere north of the mad-cow-eating-big-screen-TV-producing- global-warming-causing-LG refrigerator-making South Koreans, we find Norf Korea's own people-starving-rocket-launching-sawed-off-runt-gulag-building Great Reader KIM Jong IL checking out the latest news on the Al Gore invented intern-net and World Why Webb...

KIM- Hmmm...What? JULIA CHILD was a member of the O.S.S.?! General Wang! Come quick!

WANG- Right here, Great Reader! What's wrong?

KIM- Not so much what's wong, more like look at what's most AWESOME!

WANG- What a hero she truly was!

KIM- More bigger than Britishknee Splears?

WANG- Bigger than Britney Spears, Sir.

KIM- More bigger than Pears-r-us Hillton?

WANG- Bigger than Paris Hilton, Sir.

KIM- More bigger than Baalack "Whose-Named" Obama?

WANG- Barack Whos-Named Obama is certainly no hero, Sir!

KIM- Yeah, just checking. Obama is nothing compared to the greatness of Bwittneey and Pairs-is.

WANG- Yes, Great Reader. Now about Julia Child, she and people like her, were the unsung heros of...

KIM- She couldn't sing?

WANG- I don't know. I only meant...

KIM- Then how can Julia Child be more bigger than a Blittney Spears?

WANG- She was a heroine, Sir.

KIM- You mean Julia Child was on drugs?! No wonders she tawked so weird ! Her goose was cooked, alright.

WANG- No Sir! She was no drug addict! I simply meant she was a woman of distinguished courage or ability, you know, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities. She worked for an American agency that spy'd during WWII.

KIM- Wow! I bet she saut'ed many a Jap on Iwo Jima!

WANG- No. No. No, Sir. Great Reader...Sir?

KIM- What, General Wang?

WANG- I think you've had enough coffee for today, Most Caffinated One.

KIM- I'm knows that. I'm alls over the map today, huh? I'm swears I'm gonna swear off the Red-Star Bucks tomorrow!

WANG- Very good, Sir.

KIM- One more question.

WANG- Sir?

KIM- Did John Kerry fight for the Germans or the Japs?

WANG- Step away from the coffee and put the rubber chicken down.

KIM- You're no fun.


Erica said...

I thought she was so awesome, and used to do a way kickass impersonation of her.

Anonymous said...

There she was all along, hiding in plain sight. (*Raising a wooden spoon in salute to a true heroine.)


JihadGene said...

What a cool lady she was! Our WWII generation is moving on and I miss them mightily.
(*Raising my Star Spangled Spatula in salute to one who cooked many a goose and I hope German goose-stepper's too. Loved her looong time!)

Tammi said...

VERY cool lady.

And you? I think I'm officially scared to death. I actually FOLLOWED that whole post......I may have to cut back to 2 cups of coffee a day. ;-)

none said...

I bet she smuggled handgrenades in her crepes and napalm in the gazpacho