Thursday, August 14, 2008
KIM Jong IL Discovers Julia Child is OSS Member of WWII
Meanwhile somewhere north of the mad-cow-eating-big-screen-TV-producing- global-warming-causing-LG refrigerator-making South Koreans, we find Norf Korea's own people-starving-rocket-launching-sawed-off-runt-gulag-building Great Reader KIM Jong IL checking out the latest news on the Al Gore invented intern-net and World Why Webb...
KIM- Hmmm...What? JULIA CHILD was a member of the O.S.S.?! General Wang! Come quick!
WANG- Right here, Great Reader! What's wrong?
KIM- Not so much what's wong, more like look at what's most AWESOME!
WANG- What a hero she truly was!
KIM- More bigger than Britishknee Splears?
WANG- Bigger than Britney Spears, Sir.
KIM- More bigger than Pears-r-us Hillton?
WANG- Bigger than Paris Hilton, Sir.
KIM- More bigger than Baalack "Whose-Named" Obama?
WANG- Barack Whos-Named Obama is certainly no hero, Sir!
KIM- Yeah, just checking. Obama is nothing compared to the greatness of Bwittneey and Pairs-is.
WANG- Yes, Great Reader. Now about Julia Child, she and people like her, were the unsung heros of...
KIM- She couldn't sing?
WANG- I don't know. I only meant...
KIM- Then how can Julia Child be more bigger than a Blittney Spears?
WANG- She was a heroine, Sir.
KIM- You mean Julia Child was on drugs?! No wonders she tawked so weird ! Her goose was cooked, alright.
WANG- No Sir! She was no drug addict! I simply meant she was a woman of distinguished courage or ability, you know, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities. She worked for an American agency that spy'd during WWII.
KIM- Wow! I bet she saut'ed many a Jap on Iwo Jima!
WANG- No. No. No, Sir. Great Reader...Sir?
KIM- What, General Wang?
WANG- I think you've had enough coffee for today, Most Caffinated One.
KIM- I'm knows that. I'm alls over the map today, huh? I'm swears I'm gonna swear off the Red-Star Bucks tomorrow!
WANG- Very good, Sir.
KIM- One more question.
KIM- Did John Kerry fight for the Germans or the Japs?
WANG- Step away from the coffee and put the rubber chicken down.
KIM- You're no fun.