Sunday, June 15, 2008
Fishing With Uncle Bob Part III by jihadgene
Hello readers! Please go read Fishing With Uncle Bob Parts I & II before you read this post for the full bodied flavor of my mostly-true story.
So there we were at the Suisun Slough City Boat Ramp and my usually unflappable, yet drunken Uncle Bob, was gettin' a bit distracted by some girls in bikinis. Actually my Dad, my brother Joe-Bob (13), and even me, at the ripe old age of 11 in 1966, were all found to be admiring California's swim-wear fashions. Seems when you're pretty-much-soused, and oooogaling/eye-balling bikini clad girls, you tend to forget things. Kinda important things... like when backing up a 1965 or '66 ChevyMonza Spider (Corvair really) to launch a 16' light blue over white fiberglass boat with the mighty Evinrude 60HP outboard engine...it was kinda important to be LOOKING where the hell you're GOING when backing the boat into the water. After Uncle Bob had jack-knifed that boat, driving the piece of crap Chevy-Corvair-Monza- Spider, about....oh.... 17 times... we were gathering quite an audience near the dock. Finally, my Uncle Bob was focused! Like an old work-horse, who new where the barn was, Uncle Bob threw her back into reverse and floored it!!! Now, I don't know much about 1965 or '66 Chevy- Monza-Corvair-Spider's but if I were to do a Car and Driver report on one, it would read like this:
"While road-testing the Spider it was a real "PIG" in all four gears going forward on even an even graded roadway! However, once in "REVERSE and FLOORED" (witnessed by a large audience) on about a 45 degree downslope of a boat-ramp from Hell, the 1965 or '66 Chevy- Corvair-Monza-Spider (with a 16' boat and trailer hooked onto it's ass-end) was as quick as any Greyhound who'd just had it's ass splattered with turpentine!!!"
Again Uncle Bob, now focused and hell-bent for a successful boat-launch at all costs, almost jack-knifed the boat at a speed (in reverse, mind you) of approximately 65-70MPH! We Few....We Panicked Few... (who were in the boat) HUNG ON FOR DEAR-LIFE! My Dad almost swallowed a 12oz Miller High Life, I totally shit, and my brother Joe (who was holdin' on white-knuckled) just smiled that nervous smile of his. At the last possible second Uncle Bob slammed on the brakes, probably the parking brake too, and we, and the 16' light blue over white fiberglass boat with the mighty 60HP Evinrude Outboard Motor, slid off the side (no, not rear) of the boat trailer, and plopped neatly into the waters of Suisun Slough. Right.Side.Up.!!!! On the shore they cheered madly! Hell, Uncle Bob exited the Monza, took off his kind'a Frank Sinatra looking straw hat, and took a bow! The crowd went wild and cheered even louder!!! My Dad was now laughing and grabbing for another beer. I didn't look at my brother Joe-Bob. I knew he was smiling.I was sooo screwed. (To Be Continued)...
*Remember our Men in Uniform this Father's Day! JG