More Headline News an All Points Bulletin

An A.P.B. has been posted by Korean Airlines for a Korean National passenger, one Mr. KIM, U Jin. It seems that while enroute to Seoul from San Francisco, Korean Air flight#U812 suffered a port-side engine malfunction. This is when passenger KIM U Jin...bored now as he had just completed checking and servicing the aircraft's seats, toilet seats, seat belts, trays, AC nozzles, in flight video player, and stereo headphone jacks...jumped into action! Mr KIM bravely told the passengers and crew of the doomed-looking flight..."No Problem! I'm can fix EeeZee"! KIM exited the plane, while in flight, did a cursory check of the number 1 engine, then removed a very large Mallard or possibly a US Senator, from the engine's cowling . The brave Mr KIM, known as Mr FixItAll to his All-American brother-in-law (JihadGene), waved to the passengers and crew signaling that all was well! KIM suddenly saluted and left the wing area, falling to a fate somewhere near the Alaskan coast (see video below). When asked for comment, JihadGene said this..."I wouldn't be too concerned about him. Hell, he's probably checking the Alaska Pipeline for leaks or pressure fluxuations right about now. I would worry about Polar Bears and Grizzlies though, if he gets hungry. The guy can make Korean Bar-B-Q outta most anything".
(Thanks to Joated for this work's inspiration)