Meanwhile slightly south of the Black Cat Fireworks factories of China we find
Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL placing a phone call to JihadGene back in Califloornia to wish him a happy 4th of July...
KIM: (on rotary phone)
JG: (answers phone over sound of gunfire)
This is Gene....whazzup?
...Bang, Bang, BANG!!! BOOM! BLAAAMMM-OH!!!...
Will I accept a collect call from who, Operator?
Tac-Tac-Tac! BOOM! BOO-YA!!!
Operator, I can't hear you...you'll have to speak up!
BLAM> BLAM> AND BLAM!!! WOOOMPH!!! Tat-tat-tat!!!
Still can't hear you, Operator! You'll have to have whoever it is that called call back after the 4th of July...things are just too loud here to hold on a conversation right now!
wooosh...popa-pop-pop-POW!!! BOOOM!!! BOOOM!!!
(Kim hangs up. General WANG enters communications center of DPRK)
WANG: Well Sir, did you wish JihadGene a happy 4th of July?
KIM: Nawww...couldn't get through because of all the gunfire.
WANG- You mean you couldn't get through because of all the noise from the fireworks, Great Reader?
KIM: No. I'm means gunfire.
Gene lives next door to a bunch of Mexiclans.
WANG: I see.