Meanwhile somewhere north across the 38th Parallel... we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong Il, reacting to 1st round cuts made by the the International Olympic Committee...
KIM- Say what, General Wang?!
WANG- Great Reader, Sir...it's true. Chicago did not make it through the IOC's first cut. I verified it myself.
WANG- But I thought you'd be upset, Sir?! ...I mean, you did say you wanted to light the Olympic torch in Chicago come 2016, and...
KIM- (drying eyes) Hoe Wee Cow!!...(chuckle-chuckle)
WANG- So you're not upset, Great One?
KIM- (smiling) Hey...stuff happens. Quacks me up axed-U-Haul-Mohammad-Ali (actually). In fract this is good newz for Team KIM JONG IL 2016 !!!
WANG- Good news, Sir?! How so?
KIM- Just put yours-self in a pair of P.F. Fryers and think like a Norf Korean aff-fleet going to the 2016 O-rim-picks!
WANG- Okay, Sir. I have put on my P.F. Flyers and I am thinking like a North Korean athlete going to the Olympics...
KIM- Now, you wanna go into a fun city like Rio De Hootchiemammas4dinero? Orr wood you rather maybe stay in that gulag-dung-heap-of-a-city called Chicago, for a few weeks?
WANG- OMG! I should have seen that immediately, Great Reader! I'm sorry, Sir. But...
KIM- But what?
WANG- Sir, but what was so funny?
KIM- That? Oh...you must'a caught me while I was watching The 3 Stooges gettin' blitch-slapped on CNN.
WANG- I should have known.
KIM- Now, let's see if Tehran and Kabul can make it through the 2nd cut!
WANG- Very good, Sir.