Thursday, February 19, 2009

Orchard Supply Hardware, Doorbells, and the Chinese


So...I went to Orchard (OSH) to pick up some stuff with my lovely wife's eldest brother KIM U Jin.
He can do and fix most anything. Me? I just like to sit on my ass and watch. Occasionally I will say "I'll do it tomorrow" with such passion and possible honesty that even my wife, who really knows better, will give me a 24 hour pass on stuff I need to get done. Anyway, with her Big Bro here in the land of the Buck Farack bailouts... I've got all kinds of crap to do and yes, it's getting done and done right. Big Bro let's me help him a little bit. Fine with me, I must say. Well... U Jin noticed our front doorbell wasn't working. Our home, built in 1957, is all done-up in Austin Powers era looking fixtures and stuff with an avacado-green bar, even! It's way kewl!!! The doorbell was a wireless set up made in maybe 1977 (Jimmy loser Carter era) and no matter what kinda batteries you put in it, the system goes dead in nothing flat. Like the stimulus plan, you can pour all kinds of money into it but that dead horse just ain't gonna win any races...if you catch my drift. So we go to Orchard Supply Hardware and I-spy a wireless doorbell unit for $29.99. Not too shabby. It's plastic, of course...but I figured it was gonna cost me more than that, so I buy it. Big Bro hooks it all up and I am his numba 1 assistant (he let me hand him a screwdriver, I think). He installs the C cell batteries (not included) and the grand moment arrives when he rings the doorbell ...you should all be panting with great expectations, right about now. SO...U Jin now presses the doorbell and it chimes...it chimes...it CHIMES! The MADE IN CHINA doorbell does what?! IT CHIMES!!!
Yes it chimes alright.
IT CHIMES F#&KING "JINGLE BELLS"!!!
I.Shit.U.Not.
My Korean brother-in-law laughed his ass off!
South Koreans get it.
The Chinese don't.
Communism sucks!
Yes, I'm keeping the door bell.
It cracks me the hell up! JG ;)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gene,
I can hardly wait to visit. I'm going to "chime" that thing day and night.
Love you,
Elder Sister

JihadGene said...

That's ok with me.Kim's brother and Ben have been testing it on a daily basis anywho.

defendUSA said...

We can sing,
"jingle bells, jingle bells, Obama smells
Congress laid the eggs..."

Anonymous said...

If anyone knows where I can get a doorbell that plays KC and the Sunshine Band....

Oh, That's the way..

cb

Anonymous said...

I had one that played "Hail Hail the Gang's All Here." I miss that doorbell.


Deltabravo

pamibe said...

That's hilarious!

And you're better at the home repair stuff than my hubby; he doesn't even pretend to promise anymore. ;)

Teresa said...

OMG - ROFLMAO - Jingle Bells!!! That's outstanding.

Of course I think our doorbell is rung about twice a year so it would never get old for me. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a little joke:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doorbell repairman!


Deltabravo

joated said...

Why, oh why does an image of "Christmas Story" and dinner at the Chinese restaurant come bounding into my mind?

Bou said...

Holy crap... That is frickin' hysterical!

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