Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tuesday, Witches, and the Hairy Eyeball

My friend Maeve, a Witch, speaks of giving the Hairy Eyeball to a few students she works with at times. Now, while I have never seen the Hairy Eyeball, I have heard about it. I believe it to be about a good 8 foot in diameter with hair all around it...but not covering the eyeball's view or it's horrible looking blood shottyness. A 5 gallon bucket of Visine wouldn't get that red out...or so I've heard. If the Hairy Eyeball wore contacts they would have to be as big as a cowboy's belt buckle , or a garbage can lid, whichever is larger. Woe unto those "tester's of teacher's"...those who try to "train the trainer's", when dealing with Maeve. Maeve once gave me the Hairy Eyeball in the comments section of her blog. For that, our entire Central Valley was enveloped in fog for a whole frickin week (as usual, this time of year). I'm sure that even now as I post this, there are Flyin' Monkeys coming over the I-5 grapevine headed northbound for my blasphemous big white ass. I would type more but I just spilled hot coffee, heated to the old (pre-burn court case) McDonalds temperature of 20,000 degrees Fahrenheit, all over my crotch! Damn it, Jim! I've had enough of this crap (fog & piss poor luck) ! Maeve, bring on those monkey's. I'm dealin' them punks out'ta the game with some double-ought monkey butt shot! In the name of Remington 12 gauges...Die you Monkies! Die! TAKE THAT!...That's right, that's how we do it in my neighborhood, bitches! And take Microsoft and Kim Komando with you!!!
And...how was your day? I got to get ready for work. C ya!

56 comments:

Maeve said...

OMG you crack me up!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Some immediate impressions, Monet style of course Monsieur....

Kim Komando has an absolutely horrible voice for radio.
Kim Komando is really annoying calling herself a digital goddess ever 35 seconds. Seriously.

I've heard a total of 35 minutes of Kim Komando over the last 8 or so years she's been around, so my opinion my be uneducated or else I'm a quick study.

As far as Microsoft; Well, it just can't be that great of a product if you have to have a gazillion people in the face of the public trying to support it in order to keep people's computers running well enough that they don't commit suicide, but on the other cheek of the situation - in the end, it's worth it. How would we communicate? Trade stocks? Find out that other people also know that orange stripey cats are freakin bonkers. We currently have 3.

2009 in a couple weeks?

Really ?

Have you all seen

http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/

You gotta. You just gotta. Pages and pages of the cutest things you will ever see in your life.

I hope this makes up for me ragging on Kim.

Anonymous said...

Galdangit.

PS - CB

In case someone wants to read me the riot act.

JihadGene said...

Maeve- YES I DO!

C_Bob Loved the zoo critters! They had a lot from the zoo in Cinci. I never knew. Cool!

Anonymous said...

JG. Yes, a friend just told me they'd been down to the Cinci zoo and had seen the Cheetah cubs.

Anyway, how can you not love baby animals?

Glad you enjoyed it. Looks like they put up new pics almost daily.
CB

Evil Transport Lady said...

I wonder how those monkeys would fly sitting on a clay-bird launcher;)??

There's a video of a squirel getting launched......I just have to find it.

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