Friday, November 14, 2008

The Wife's Beanie Baby Collection


I just want a place to dump or otherwise bury all my wife’s STOOOPID Beanie Baby collection. I’ve secretly been culling them off for years. One month at a time, I see to it that my dog, the West Highland White Terrorist (Booger Butt) gets one fed to her...each and every month. I take her to a Vet who hates those Beanie-Headed-Bastards as much as I do. He says all that fiber is good for her and the fuzzy stuff acts as a floss for her colon. Cool! She chews the crap out of them…I love it! I hide the evidence down deep in the garbage that even a Progressive wouldn’t touch. I hope my secret is safe with you. I’ll go to my grave knowing I did my best as a Husband but those Beanie Babys SUCK MASSIVELY! May they all rot in Hell with my 401K!
*Special thanks to Pam for the inspiration and Beanie Baby photo!

10 comments:

pamibe said...

This just cracks me up!

My sister in law got involved in those things and was paying thousands for each... I just stared stupidly and prayed whatever brain eating virus that had taken her down wouldn't reach me...!

Evil Transport Lady said...

They used to be a big "collecters" item, now you see them at flea markets for 2 for a dollar;)

Anonymous said...

Thousands of dollars each??

http://steelkaleidoscopes.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/deer_370.gif

Cappy said...

The .38 Special at 20 yards.

JihadGene said...

Cappy- Too loud. My Westie chews them silently and happily. Occasionally she gives 'em a good shake. It's a beautiful thing!

tammi said...

Brilliant! I'm all for "Death to Beanie Babies"!

I dated a guy that collected them. VERY briefly.

A guy, with a collection that large...just scared me.

And I don't mean that in a good way......

That 1 Guy said...

Never could see the fuss over a damned bean bag.

Maeve said...

Beanie babies......no......
Fine Irish whiskey.....YES!!!!

Deadman said...

There was a Grateful Dead one at one point. If she has that one I'd like it. As for the rest? I have a dog that love to rip apart stuffed animals too..

Anonymous said...

Gene, send them to Iraq! They make goodwill toys for the little kids there. Or maybe the Stan. But leave the piggie beanies out of the loop, ifyaknowwhatImean.

Deltabravo