Dear Abby and KIM Jong IL

*Disclaimer I ripped this off from Uber Pig at Black Five Dot Net.

WIFE'S TIGHT-FISTED MONEY POLICY PUTS MAN IN A BIND

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 70s, on Social Security and in my second marriage. My wife, "Irene," is in her early 50s and holds a good job. She also holds the purse strings, and allows me $5 a week for coffee with my friends. I drive a little scooter, and Irene has given me a gas credit card so I can get around.
Last week, I told her that I need some underwear and asked her for her store credit card. She said she has a drawer full of nylon panties and that I should wear them instead. She said when they are worn out she will buy me some new men's underwear. She also said she didn't want to waste any money on me since the panties are still wearable.

What if someone finds out? Irene says that since I'm over 70 it doesn't matter. Do you think this is right? -- PREFERS BRIEFS

Screw what Dear LABBY says! Let's go see what words of advice GREAT READER, KIM Jong IL has for PREFERS BRIEFS.......

Deer PUDDIN' PANTIES,

NUMBA WUN- Get her dlunk (drunk)!!!

NUMBA TOO- Dress IWEEN (Irene) up like Bullwinkle the Moose.

NUMBA TREE- Take her to Sarah Palin's house Trick or Treating.

Ploblem solved.

Ruv You Not So Looong Time,

Great Reader, KIM Jong IL