Thursday, September 4, 2008
Palin, Biden, Hockey, and Golf, with KIM Jong IL
Meanwhile it's 4:00AM in the DPRK, somewhere North of the Samsung-DaeWoo line (DMZ), and we find Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, tossing and turning, unable to sleep after seeing and hearing the Sarah Palin speech and Senator Joe Biden's follow up remarks...
KIM- Yo! General Wang! Get your 7 star buttocks over here ASLAP!
WANG- I'm right here Your Greatness! What is it, can't sleep?
KIM- Uh-huh. My head is about to 'splode!
WANG- Sarah Palin's speech got you all Jack'd up, Most Disstressed One?
KIM- Not compreetly.
WANG- Not completely? Well what else is bothering you, Sir.
KIM- I see US Sintore Joe Biden on TV with Matts Wower on US People's NBC Today Show and it raises a whole buncha questions four me.
WANG- NBC's Matt Lauer? Biden? Questions, Sir?
KIM- Yeah, Joe Biden keeps sayings all this "SHOW ME. SHOW ME" booshit after Sarahcuda Palin's "I HAVE A HOCKEY SCHTICK" speech. Is DellaWhere the SHOW ME state? Biden frums DellieWare, is he not?
WANG- Sir, Missouri is the "show me" state. What kind of "show me" questions was Senator Biden asking about Governor Palin's speech?
KIM- Stuffs like...why for she no mention new jobs, why for she no talk Afghanistan, Pakistan, why for she no mention Fresno State's 24-7 victory over Rutgers, why for she no mention economy, why for she no mention hair plugs for men!!! That stupid f*ck Biden! Doesn't he see that Sarahcuda just Tee'd up the ball for McCain and that John Wayne McCain is gonna shove an entire set of Callaway Big Bertha woods, irons, including the Big Bertha 460 Driver and the Big Bertha sport cart bag with balls, I might add, straight-up his and Obama's asses?!!!
WANG- You're overwrought, Sir. I'll call the nurse.
KIM- No respect! JOE "HAIR PLUGS BIDEN" and "THE BLOW ME STATE" of Delaware get no respect from me...ME...Rodney Danger-KIM!!! NEVA-EVA!!!
(Kim Jong Il now does a Rodney Dangerfield imitation)
I tell ya...it ain't easy being me. Just the other day one of my wives told me her face was her fortune....I hated to tell the poor dear, but she's been living in poverty all of her life!!! Life ain't easy in the "Axis of Evil" I tell ya...
WANG- (on phone to nurse) Bring the Thorazine. Quick!!!
KIM- Have her make it on the rocks and don't forget the little umbrella!!! It ain't easy dealin with dumb-ass Democrats I tell ya! I'm the Bobby Orr of the DMZ! I'll not only body-check that punk Joe Biden but I'll do some butt-ending on that hair-plugged head of his! OBAMA, YOUR MOOSE IS COOKED!!! Mudder-pucker!!!
*I dedicate this rather brash post to my brother-in-law, Mr Goodguy, who says I've been too toned-down lately. JG ;)