Friday, July 11, 2008
The Father and Son Talk or Gonna see Uncle Bob's New Car
Yes, it's true. Uncle Bob loved beer, cars, cussing, and he had three official wives. Those were his loves, and yes, in that order. Why he continued to marry or play house, we'll never know. Maybe he wanted to show my Dad that, he too, could be a one woman man. Trouble was that all the beer, cars, and the cussing, seemed to get in the way of his romancing the ladies. Uncle Bob, like his "magic beer cooler" (that never ran out of beer), was a constant work in progress. He was constantly drinking beer, constantly buying cars, constantly cussing, and constantly finding new lady friends. I asked my Dad...
ME- Why aren't you like Uncle Bob?
DAD- Boy, all men are Uncle Bob's. Some are just harder to spot. That's all.
ME- Oh. Then why are you only married to Mom?
*Dad gave me a long look. I thought I made him pissed off again, but he just grinned and broke out into a big smile.
DAD- Just lucky, I guess. Besides, I couldn't afford it.
ME- Are they (women) expensive, Dad?
DAD- Let's just say there's a price to pay, son. You'll learn soon enough.
DAD- Just shut that trap of yours up for a minute, Okay?
ME- Okay, Dad. I'm shuttin' my trap up, Dad. But one more thing, Dad?
DAD- Okay. One more the-hell thing. But that's all.
ME- Thanks Dad. How does Uncle Bob afford all the new cars, and sodie (beer), and girlfriends, and wives, and stuff? Are shipyard welders rich, Dad?
DAD- Naw, son. I've got all of you (meaning our family) and that's so damned rich I don't know what the hell to do with all of my money but give it to the damned IRS! Maybe your Uncle Bob doesn't pay the damn IRS.
ME- That's keen, Dad! What's the IRS?
DAD- Great. Now will you shut the hell up for a minute so we can see what your Uncle Bob has in his garage?!
ME- Shutting the hell up, Dad.
DAD- What'd you say?
ME- Nothin', Dad.
DAD- Thought so.
(to be continued)