Sunday, June 8, 2008
The Truth According to Baghdad Bob
Reporting live (or possibly dead) from the "War on America" some observations of Baghdad Bob-
#1- JihadGene is not within 500 miles of the nearest keyboard, so as to twist my words, or my astute observations of the world around me!
#2- Erica is really a bowler! She knows nothing of shooting pool!
#2- I can count! I'm Just testing you!
#3- Teresa is a homeless blogger who wanders the countryside taking pictures of peoples homes, sheds, and flowers. She begs for money but do not be fooled! She spends it all on wireless internet service providers!!!
#4- Jimbo, of Parkway Rest Stop is hunkered-down in a bunker somewhere in Colorado and owns this alligator farm! He is deathly afraid that Erica will find him and give him a NOOGIE!
#5- RedNeck does not live anywhere near North Carolina! He bloggs from a Iranian bathhouse and male massage parlor in downtown Tehran, looking for Mister Right!
#6- GUYK worked for Kofi Annan as a UN Special Advisor! He got the boot when he ratted-out Kofi's son in the Food for Oil Program. He has been begging UN Secretary General, Ban Ki MOON, for a job but has been repeatedly rejected.
#6- Who's counting here?
#7- Drunken Wisdom's own That 1 Guy is a shape-shifter! Whatever you do do not put Flat Stanley in your trouser pockets! An infidel "PERV", just like the RedNeck!
#7 and 1/2- That 1 Guy (T1G) really only weighs 143 lbs fully clothed and sopping wet! All his ramblings about being on a diet are bullocks dung!
#8- JihadGene's Elder Sister (Carol) was last seen on a "jazzy scooter" headed southbound on California Highway 99 toward Fresno! JG has been filling sandbags and laying-in enough supplies for a two year siege, ever since. Gene was overheard saying, "If she'd just sober up".
#9- It took Straight White Guy two 1000 round boxes of .22 cal ammo, seven hand grenades, 14 claymore mines, one case of Budweiser, and an M242 Bushmaster 25mm chain-gun, to kill one scrawny squirrel! SWG said (after surveying the ruins of his neighborhood) "OOORah!!! Got that Sum-Bitch"!
#16- Joated does none of the work, shown on his blogg. The US Border Patrol wants to speak with him.
#9- Cappy works for Joated.
#37- Mommynator, while she "IS" in a hospital, well..let's just be nice and say "she doesn't work there".
#2- Deltabravo is actually barren. She has no teenage daughters, and is in a cell across the hall from Mommynator. Poor DB.
#10- (Finally) Saddam, Uday, & Qusay are alive and well. They work as fry cooks in Baker, California's "The Mad Greek Restaurant". Fully employed, they are currently drawing unemployment benefits, and are taking on-line college classes, paid for by California's tax-payers (all 1,567 of them), from UC Berkeley. JG