Meanwhile as we return to somewheres north of the 38th Parallel, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL about to hit a bwick-wall. (one we've all hit.)
KIM- Boy, good thing NorKo R&D peoples hook me up wiff a ploosh button secret spy phone. Look General Wang! Even wittle numbas light up so's I can see when that 3:00 AM phone call comes in frum John McLAME!
WANG- Yes. Very nice, Sir.
KIM- Nows I'm calls Wirld-Wide 411 infloormation numba and gets a hold of Reverend guy in Chicagrow, Illynoise of USA.
Lets see.....(dialing).....beep4....boop1...boop1....
It's wurking! It's blinging! Me sooo happy!
VOICE- (recorded)......Hello! And welcome to the Aggravating Telephone & Toilet (AT&T)
Company's International Information, *Patriot Act Approved*, Request Line! Lets begin...
*For Spanish, press numero UNO
*For Eng-Rish, please press ###*####*89654**#
KIM- Okray......uh............... ###*####*89654*# ....there...
VOICE- The code entered ###*####*89654*# is incorrect, please re-enter the code...until you get it right we will play AT&T adds for you...(recording).....Tired of legs falling asleep while reading on the toilet?...then Blah-Blah, and Blah is the answer to your prayers! We at Blah-Blah, and Blah...
KIM- I'll wee-enter your damn code, blitch!
Okray......................................###*####*89654**#
VOICE- Good Job! Now choose from the following choices...
For GAY IRANIAN PRESIDENT'S WHO HUMP GOATS!...Press One.
For Koreans who speak Eng-Rish press TWO, now.
KIM- Uhmmm... (pressing 2)............bloop2.
VOICE- "I said" press TWO, now. You were too slow. Try again.
(KIM- Didn't I'm see this on Hairy Seinfeld Show?)
VOICE-................. PRESS-ONE-NOW!!!
KIM- BOOP! 1!
VOICE- Pretty fast caller! Congratulations, you've made it to the next level!
KIM- (imitrait-ting Elvis) Thank yoo! Thank-yoo-very-much!
VOICE- For Eng-Rish speakin Koreans from the SOUTH. Press One.
For Eng-Rish speaking Koreans from the NORF....
KIM- (Oh hell, here it crums.)
VOICE- Please stay on the line, as you have no more buttons to push (we pushed yours enuff)...
KIM- Cool!
VOICE- Stay on the line and one of our robots will take your call, in the order it was received...your waiting time is approximately....Nine Hundred and Seven minutes....(recording) Yes friend, we at Blah-Blah, and Blah....blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
(We now leave Great Reader KIM Jong IL in automated Hell...toodles! RYLT! JG)
(To be continued?)
3 comments:
Only Nine hundred and seven minutes? Damn I've had to hold on longer than that for tech support. *grin*
GAY IRANIAN PRESIDENT’S WHO HUMP GOATS!...Didn’t I’m see this on Hairy Seinfeld Show?
Duuuude…you are, like, such a slooooper-dloooooper inflidel! I’m loves it…long time!
Sounds like the conversation I tried to have with an insurance company yesterday but couldn't get through.
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