Meanwhile somewhere in "The Land of the Morning Missile Launch" we find Great Reader in a deep sleep....it is 0300HRS AM and the phone "blings" (it's a Korean phone so it blings...no rings, okray?)....
(PHONE)....BLING-BLING! BLING-BLING!
KIM- General WANG! Answer the flucking phone, for Kwyst (Christ) sake!
WANG- Here your most Sleepy One! It's some "more-than-middle-aged" female on the line.
KIM- Yes, I'm been expecting this call!....
Great Reader here!
CALLER-Blah-blah-blah.
KIM- Yes, I'm was thinking yoo's would call. But furst, is dis a secure line? I'm mean... what wiff
Plate-ree-ot Act and all...we must be as discreet as a gay hotline 900 number caller to a Mr John Smith Ahmadinejad, in Tehran! I'm no want Water-Boarder Patrol or "The Stupid Asses" (TSA) bustin our chops!
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah. I own them. Blah-blah-blah.
KIM-George DoubleWoo Bloosh is buzy doin what?
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah.
KIM- BWAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
WANG- What, Great Reader? George W. Bush, is doing what?!
KIM- Him dancing on WhiteHouse steps while him patient-ree waiting for arrival of
Senator John McLame!
KIM & WANG- BWAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha!!!
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah.
KIM- Yes, the worm has certin-wee turned!
CALLER- So.... Blah-blah-blah?
KIM- Suicide no good. You use beefour, looks sub-spicious !
CALLER- How about blah-blah-blah?
KIM-Him cums up missing...Okray, I'm good wiff that.
CALLER- What do I...blah-blah-blah?
KIM- You need a good chains-saw, first off! I'd get a "STIHL", as all the "Sears Craftsman" chains-saws SUCK! Where's was I......oh yeah...then necks yoo need a 100 litre, empty heavy-duty prasstick barrel, weecyclable (of clourse), and letz see...him a kinda chunky victim/former supporter... sporting a stupid ass goat-tee...so...maybee ownly you kneeds 50 litres of a good "all purpose body-eating acid".
CALLER- How about blah-blah-blah?
KIM- Yeah... "Diet Coke" will work fine.
CALLER- Thanks ever so blah-blah-blah!
KIM- Por nada. Say hi to Bill for me.
CALLER- He's blah-blah-blah.
KIM- Oh, him working late in the office again...I see.
(stupid britch)
Well grood night and adios mi amiga!
CALLER- Blah-blah-blah. Buh-bye, Great Reader!
(KIM hangs up phone)
KIM- Man, that dude's days are numbered, General Wang. Ya knows, I may just have a shot at becrumming the Governor of Nuevo Mexico!
WANG- Cool! What is the name of the capitol city of New Mexico, Great One?
KIM- I'm pretty sures it's either Taco Bell or Speedy Gonzalez.
WANG- I'm outta here.
7 comments:
BAWAHAHAHAHAHA
Great Stuff!
You should publish an entire book of this stuff...Plate-ree-ot Act...John McLame...I love it!
I am speechless. Amazing stuff.
Damn, but this is some good stuff. Glad to see you on the creating end of the blogosphere.
"...prasstick barrel, weecyclable (of clourse)"
ROFLMAO. I love it.
great stuff
another great blogger hits the ground running
I mentioned this on blackfive.
I'll have you know, Mr. JihadGene, that I almost choked to death on my lunch. I'm thankful I work in a hospital where so many people know the Heimlich maneuver.
Good luck and keep up the good work!
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