Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Obama B.S. Decoder Ring Update

ATTENTION...all owners of the official "Obama B.S. Decoder Ring"! We have recently received many complaints regarding an extremely short battery life. Our technicians in China assure us this is only a temporary anomaly, primarily due to it being an election year and the terror attack at Benghazi. That is all.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Romper Room and Libya

MISS BARBARA: Welcome to Romper Room, kids! I'm Miss Barbara and I'm going to use my Magic Mirror to see some of our viewers. Let's see...hmmm...I see two lying a$$holes named Barry and Joe. Ooops! Sorry kids, I must have this thing focused in on the White House.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Holy Crappy Anniversary!

It was a rough wedding anniversary for the Dynamic Duo on Tuesday! 1st it started raining, in our store, Fashion Thug! But to get to Fashion Thug, we first had to drive down our dirt road, now known as Mud Avenue, to get onto the hardtop...due to road expansion in front of our bat cave. Holy bat crap! Next, that morning, we were told that the stupid Chicago Title Company screwed up the paperwork AGAIN so we are still waiting to be paid for our land and 90 feet of block wall the city took over and demolished in order to turn our street into it's current holy mud hole condition. This is all in the name of road expansion for 4 lanes of traffic, a center divider-island, sidewalks, and gutters. Oh well. Next on my holy anniversary "to do" list, I picked up some flowers I had "special ordered" for my ruvly Bat Wife. You know, the ones that I put in a special request for last freeking Wednesday?! I was sooo proud of myself because I was thinking ahead! Way to go, JG! So very proud too, of my bad bat-self, for coming up with the perfect flowers for her! Flowers with all kinds of colored roses! Well...what started out as a great idea...ended up looking like a KIM Jong IL born-again Easter Sunday flower bouquet for the Dear Leader's casket! Holy bat DAMN! I ended up with only 3 stinking red roses in a gawd  LOOONG time awful wild 'n wacky $91 floral arrangement! Well, finally evening comes and we two LOOONG time love birds (or love bats) were in a wonderful Italian restaurant when right before our food arrives...we receive a phone call from the bat girls (employees) at Fashion Thug. It seems that four heathen Fashion Thug wanna be shoppers grabbed a bunch of merchandise and decided to run out without paying. Oh well, it certainly was a memorable 37th anniversary...LOOONG time!!! It'll be better next year. Regardless of the bat guano, it will be better! Anyways, God bless you all and our wonderful US Armed Forces and their families! May all your anniversaries be happy...not crappy!    JG & The Ruvly KIM ;)    

Friday, October 19, 2012

It's Friday Let's Dance

Today's "It's Friday Let's Dance" dance song..."Having My Baby", by Paul Anka...darn near undid all the heavy groundwork I did to get to second base with my wife, the ruvly Kim! I can't stand this song because of that! Hate it! You see, I went on a 1st date with her on April Fools Day 1975 and I was headed for 2nd base, when "all of a sudden" my GI hormones kicked in and instead of 2nd base, why hell... I jumped out of the ball park and commenced (in my "military mind") streaking the freeking bleachers! Meaning...I was heading for the "home run"! Suddenly I began my very nervous version of a very impromptu marriage proposal! This was ONLY 2 weeks after I our very 1st date! Hoe-Ree-Cow, LOOONG time!!! Anyway, our 37th wedding anniversary is coming up, and for it I have written another installment of "Love American vs Korean Style". Stay tuned...and speaking of staying tuned, be sure to keep our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, Coasties and their families in your prayers, very LOOONG time!!! God bless you all and have a wonderful weekend. JihadGene...out.  

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dogs Kids and Prayer

Our dog, the West Highland White Terrorist..."Booger Butt"...is getting old. She's 12 now. Pictured above is her, about 8 years ago, with a pair of my son's underwear stuck on her head. Don't ask...as it's still a mystery to us all. Anyways...she has a heart murmur...her liver is shutting down...she refused to eat for 5 or 6 days, and as recently as 4 days ago I was ready to dig her a grave. My ruvly wife prayed over Booger Butt, that Booger Butt would "go" peacefully. But do you think that rotten Westie of ours would listen??? Heck NO! Lately she has started eating again, is up, and walking around. Hmmm? Maybe she's gonna hang around with us awhile looonger time, I don't know. But now, let me inject this observation of mine...if you will.  Well, it seems that this past summer our 12 year old niece from Korea (her name is CoCo) visited us with her 13 year old brother. The kids had a blast and CoCo loved Booger Butt very much! Booger Butt loved being petted and spoiled by CoCo. Anyways, about 5 days ago, my ruvly wife told CoCo about the dog maybe dying soon and CoCo insisted that Booger Butt could not die now and she began praying for her. It was probably about within 8 hours after CoCo started praying, that that dog of ours was eating! 3 days later Booger Butt was no longer just laying around...waiting for one of us to pick her up. No Sir! Booger is up and down the stairs, and looking better each and every day. Did God answer the prayers of that 12 year old girl back in South Korea? At this writing, all I can do is smile. Smile and give thanks to a God that answers the prayers of little girls far away. Thank you, Lord. LOOONG time!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

It's Friday Let's Dance

Friday...finally! Tough week? It has been a week of MALARKEY, here in the California JihadGene Family. Booger Butt, our West Highland White Terrorist-Terrier, is fading away...health-wise. We have decided to make her as comfortable as possible. It's tough...but it's life. We finally got some California rain yesterday (a Norf Korean cloudburst, really) and the roof in our clothing store, I call it "Fashion Thug", leaked LOOONG time!!! Our roof is scheduled to be replaced BEFORE the rains come but that's a "tad" too late now. I quickly got buckets under the leaks and collected no less than 8 gallons of water! I looked like a darn sailor, swabbing the deck! Oh well... maybe now the owner of our building will do something about this problem he's known about for months. Jeez. My ruvly wife, the wonderful Mrs JihadGene, is kind of down in the dumps. In addition to all of this MALARKEY, the city is in the middle of replacing our 2 lane road with a divided 4 lane road. Right in front of our lovely home! Got mud? We sure do! The city still hasn't paid us our money for our property or for our expensive block wall they've torn down. It's a MALARKEY MESS! It's a mess...but through it all, God is VERY GOOD to us! Things could be worse, so we count our blessings, of which we have many, and...like troopers...we DRIVE ON! Speaking of troopers, please keep all of our great guys & gals in the US Armed Forces...and their families in your prayers, very LOOONG time!!! May God bless and love, each and everyone, of you. It's Friday! Let's dance!

VP Biden After Debate

Now...listen to me, you bunch of Jack Kennedys! Just because you happen to see a "LazyBoy Recliners on Sale Now" sign in front of the White House, it does not mean that Barack and I are going anywhere! That's a bunch of malarkey!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Joe Biden Debates Today

It's National Coming Out Day and Norf Korea ruvs Joes Biden LOOONG time!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Obama on Special Ops

Here we have a picture of President Barack Whosenamed Obama doing what he does best...SPECIAL OPS. OPS being...Obama Phone Salute. Isn't that special?

Saturday, October 6, 2012

DPRK Defection 187 Style

A North Korean soldier on the DMZ defects. Murders his superiors to keep them from shooting him and makes his 500 meter dash across the DMZ to the south and freedom. See story HERE. North Korea will demand the defector's return. Given the circumstances, will South Korea hand him back over to the north? This could get hairy! Stay tuned. Personally, I think the South Korean song...Gangnam Style... "blain-washed" the North Korean defector LOOONG time!!! Have a great weekend!

Friday, October 5, 2012

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

Friday already? It sure is. I had a really crappy week. My 12 year old West Highland White Terrorist is very sick. Heart problems. Belly swollen. Trips to the vet...hundreds of dollars spent. Right now she seems somewhat better. I'm taking her back again today. She is the rottenest dog I have ever owned but I really love her LOOONG time!!! Please keep our US Armed Forces and their families in your prayers....and while you're at it...we could use some prayers too. What's heaven like, you ask? I can answer that. It's a beautiful place where there is dancing, soldiers, and dogs. God bless you all.  

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Obama Wins Back Latino Voters

My Gawd, LOOONG time!!! Just when you begin to think things couldn't possibly get any worse...my facebook pal...Maggie G. updated her cover photo with this picture! Obviously, in an effort to win back the "Univision Vote", President Barack Whosenamed Obama has directed the US Border Patrol to begin giving free pony rides to any illegal alien's family who may have suffered the loss of a loved one killed by an assault-rifle provided by the US Government, in the "Fast & Furious" debacle. (Sadly this story is actually believable)-JG