Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Obama's on Libya

Meanwhile... just back in from Brazil, we find the Obama's in a reflective mood regarding kinetic middle-eastern military goodwill bridge-burning/rebuilding activities...

MICHELLE: Oh Barry, I think it would be such a shame if Moammur Gaddafi were accidentally killed.

OBAMA: I know, Sweety...but on the bright side...the two of you will always share the same sense of fashion!

MICHELLE: (smiles to self) Yes. We'll always have that.


Friday, March 25, 2011

It's Friday! Let's Dance with Sexy Soldiers!!!

It's no secret...Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Jarheads (Marines) are not only sexy but they dance sexy as well. You say you are a non-believer and demand proof?! This vid is proof LOOONG time!!! My favorite is the soldier with the orange traffic cone. He MUST be an M.P. It takes one to know one. Whatever. It's Friday! So put on your Lady Gaga meat dress and get out on the dance floor, GI! ROR! Have a happy (not crappy) weekend and God bless our troops and their families a VERY LOOONG TIME!!!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Gaddafi to Sing on Friday's Let's Dance!

Raff Out Roud with KIM Jong IL

So I walk into this room and there's a Korean, a Filipino, and a Sri Lankan in the room. Is this the start of some kind of a bar joke? Nope, I'm at home with my son and two of his high school pals. Speaking of's one of Great Reader's favorites, "The Monkey Joke"...

Friday, March 18, 2011

Hillary Sings! It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

I love today's let's dance song LOOONG time!!! Melissa Etheridge really belts this one out! This song is for Hillary Clinton who...while I don't like her...I do, however, greatly respect her for all of her hard work. She's got a very tough job and our President (Mr "O"nvacationasshole) has not made her job any easier. So let's remember all of our troops in harm's way and keep them and their families in our prayers!!! It's Friday so let's dance to Hillary Clinton singing, "I'm the Only One". Have a wonderful and safe weekend LOOONG time!!!

(A JihadGene reWrite)

Please Barry can't you see...
Japan's a burnin' hell!
I got Arabs a rippin' and tearin' and strippin'!
Libya needs a NO FLY ZONE, as well!
Last night you told me...
that you ache for something new.
And some Brazilian golf is lookin' like something
that might be good for you???!!! (WTF)

Go on and stay least Michelle is gone.
Go on, believe her when she tells you...
nothing's wrong.
But I'm the only one...
who'll tell the unvarnished truth to you!!!
I'm the only one...
who's down in my desire for the "U"!!! (USA)
It's not only fear that makes you a bum...
The People, is what you're hiding from!!!
When all your promises are gone...

I'm the only one!!!

Joe Biden, you know that dude can't see!
I'm trying to explain...
His mind's crap dejouer, he's an idiot for sure!
And I'm not going back again!!
The golf, vacations, and NCAA picks won't make
It go away!
You'll wake up tomorrow and write-off the sorrow...
that holds down the USA.

Go on and tell me: I'm a rock-throwin bitch whose gone!!!
Go on believe Pelosi when she tells you that
"Nothing's wrong."
But I'm the only one...
Who'll fly across the pond for you!!!
I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for the "U" !!! (USA)
It's only the race card that helped you run
and demons at Fox news you're hiding from!!!
When all your empty promises are gone...
I'm the only one!!!

Friday, March 11, 2011

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Out here on the West Coast of Norf Korea (California), we either under-react or overreact to Mother Nature. In all of life's upheavals, it is good to know that some things never change. Like... God, soldiers, and surfers! Or soldiers who surf! Be advised that our military sand surfers are at the ready in Iraq! Bring on the tsunami! So jump up on your desktops and ride the wave behind a Humvee with the Great Reader, looong time!!! While we keep all those affected by the quake in our prayers, don't forget our awesome US Armed Forces, and particularly those who serve in the Pacific and will be helping out with the rescue and recovery efforts in Japan. It's Friday, so let's go on a Surfin' Safari... dance... and God bless all our troops and all their families a very LOOONG time!!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Caffeine Criminal Advice and Forrest Gump

DATELINE: Fresno, California "Drive-by Country": It seems Fresno has a crazed middle-aged male, named Charles Burkhalter, who is a Red Bull thief on the loose LOOONG time!!! Dude has stolen more than $1,000 worth of Red Bull from local Stop-n-Rob convenience markets. He wears a Red Bull shirt and carries a clipboard, claiming he is "swapping out" old inventories of the drink. Charles, you dumb ass LOOONG time!!! If you read my blog...Charles...and you probably do...based upon the fact that you are totally twisted and apparently can read the words "RED" and "BULL". Charles, get your shit together! If you're gonna take the chance to do the time for a crime...then do it right! Get a Forrest Gump green colored sun-visor and a matching green apron. Then... using your trusty clipboard...hit up the nicer grocery stores around Fresno for Starbucks coffee and drink products! If the Forrest Gump thing works for ya...I say, go for a two-fer and swipe some jumbo shrimp while you're at it! Geeez, man!! Think of it LOOONG time!!! Shrimp burger and a grande latte...shrimp cocktail and a Frappuccino...shrimp gumbo and a tall Tazo Joy tea...shrimp blah-blah-blah...and a blah-ha-ha...

*thanks to Matt (BLACKFIVE) for the inspiration of this post LOOONG time!!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

KIM Jong IL Advises Tiger Woods

Great Reader of Norf Korea, KIM Jong IL has advised the once great golfer,Tiger Woods, to hire actor Charlie Sheen in order to help Woods overcome his "losing slump". In an exclusive interview, Norf Korean Newz asked our Great Reader, "How could Charlie Sheen possibly help Tiger Woods?" KIM Jong IL replied, "Winning LOOONG time....Duh!!!" JG;)

Charlie Sheen Seeks Help

Troubled actor, Charlie Sheen, today hired professional help for counseling on sexual addictions. It is unknown, the amount Charlie has agreed to pay Tiger Woods.

Great Reader RUV's you LOOONG time ;)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Two Libyan Pilots Go AWOL

Meanwhile somewhere at a Libyan Air Ports Base we find Lance Corporal Colonel Gaddafi 's Air Force pilots, Habeeb and Clifford, in a most serious discussion....

Habeeb :But I think he's right! In fact, I just saw Colonel Gaddafi's latest You Tube interview. He has proclaimed the skies over Libya are 100% more safe right now, than flying on a Delta flight outta Fresno even after being felt-up by the TSA criminals!

Clifford: More safe, my moose-limb ass! Dude don't know the difference between a Shitzu and some granola!

Habeeb: Don't speak of our great leader like that!

Clifford: Did he do the You Tube at night again?

Habeeb: Yes.

Clifford: Was it raining?

Habeeb: Well, no.

Clifford: Was he dressed like a Libyan Librarian Lady and carrying the umbrella again?

Habeeb: Yes. Yes, he was.

Clifford: So...???

Habeeb: Damn.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Kadafi's Song a Hit in North Korea

It's a rainy Sunday out here on the DMZ just norf of Bakersfield. Reminds me of the latest #1 "HIT" song now playing in Pyongyang. Enjoy, have a great Sunday, and drag your raggedy carcasses to church! I'm odors you!! Oh yeah...remember that Great Reader RUV's the US troops and their families a VERY LOOONG TIME so keep 'em in your prayers!!!

Friday, March 4, 2011

KIM Jong IL Sings to Kadafi! It's Friday!! Let's Dance!!!

Heck of another week flew right by me. Please keep our troops in your prayers and especially our wounded and all our military family members. Today's "Let's Dance" is a Commie Doors tune, rewritten by Great Reader- JihadGene and dedicated to Pvt Kadafi in Libya. So without further a-due here's the KIM Jong IL chorus singing...

"Three Times A CRAZY"

Tanks for the times
That you've given me
The memories of you
out your mind
And now that you've come
To the end of your road, Bro
There's somes thing
I'm must say out ROUD

You're once, twice
Tree times a cray-gee
Yes you're once, twice
Tree times more cray-gee

And I'm RUV you

When we was to-gedder
The WMD's I'm cherish
With every bleat of a sheep
Obama can't touch you or Eric Holder you
Tell him, "O" fruck you!
There's nothing to keep our axis apart
You're once, twice,
"Two and a Half Men"
a cray-gee
And I RUV you
I'm RUV's you...

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Birthdays and Jehovah

Today is my Mom's birthday. But before you go and think I am going to get all smushy-mushy about it, you can stop right there. I haven't written much in awhile but my deceased mom's, Jehovah H. God, has inspired me to do just that. Some kids were lucky and had moms that were kleptomaniacs or alcoholics. Not us. No such luck. Ya see, my mom was a Jehovah's witness. She was a door knocker! A bell ringer! A waker-upper and an interrupter!! A purveyor and peddler of Watchtower and Awake magazines, was she!!! ALL Praise Jehovah!
When I was a little guy she would drag some of us kids along with her spreading the word of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Brooklyn, NY... in hopes of getting fewer doors slammed in her face, I guess. Or cussed out, I reckon. Clearly she was not one of those heathen unbeliever's who's ass was doomed from the get-go of Armageddon! Nope. You would never find a crucifix, rosary, Christmas tree, or a birthday cake or candle, anywhere's in my "Mom's House of Jehovah God". Can I get an amen from you Sisters and Brothers out there? Oh yeah! Well, that was my Mom's stand on birthdays. Well...except for "HER" birthday.
My awakening about my mom's birthday was around the end of February or the beginning of March 1962. It was then I recall my mom first would start dropping us kids subtle hints. Hints like saying... "Gift wrapping paper is now on sale now at our local Sprouse Reitz Variety Store!"...or saying "I could really use a new pen and pencil set to take notes with at the Kingdom Hall."...or maybe saying that she could sure use a new book bag (to carry all her damn Watchtower and Awake magazines in). When it came down to crunch time, that is...when it was the night before her birthday, she prayed with us to Jehovah God telling us (as usual) to give thanks to such a loving God who would spare us (but not those rotten neighbor kids) from heaven's fire raining down upon our unwashed asses, come the time of Armageddon. Then... in a Charlie Sheen moment...she would start humming "Happy Birthday to You". Happy birthday, Mom!
I guess blogging is work of the Devil. Oh well. JG;)