Friday, February 25, 2011

It's Friday! Let's Dance with Mind Control!!!

The Norf Korean CIA has just disclosed an ohfishall US Army almost XXX RATED/ NOT SAFE FOR THE WORK ENVIORNMENT mind controlling music video. It is believed the US Army has "field tested" this form of mind control technique on the "Squid Senator" from Arizona, John McCain. I can only hope that this whole "mind control thing" results in the winning of next season's Army-Navy football game. It's after Friday already in Pyongyang...so let's dance and keep our brave US Troops and their families (who could use some conjugal visits LOOONG time) in your prayers!!! That's an odor! Go Army! Beat Navy!

Friday, February 18, 2011

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Great Reader KIM Jong Gene, here. Been a hell of a week LOOONG time!!! But, it could have been worse'r... I'm sure. Anyways...on Monday our front-loading washing machine freeking SPLODED! I guess the letters "H" and "E" on my Kenmore stood for High Explosive instead of High Efficiency. That sucker cost a grand back in 2002. Guess my ruvly wife, the former Miss Kim Shee, my Minister of Norf Korean Finances, has now seen why you should onwree put HE detergent in an HE washing machine. Damn. Sooo.... now the "low voltage" electricial system in our custom built George Jetson/Elvis/Austin Powers style custom built home is playing games. Our local e-wrecked-tricians are gonna make bank. Shit. Speaking of shit... that is what I stepped into yesterday....in the house...and I tracked it around...of course. Damn dogs. This is why you should never wear any shoes in a Korean household...so you know immediately when you stepped in it! Serves me right, I guess. Oh well, that's life. But, hey! It's a Friday!! So let's dance LOOONG time, and keep all of our troops and their families in our prayers!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Leslie Knows Great Reader LOOONG Time!!!

Leslie, of Leslie's Omnibus, knows my likes and dislikes LOOONG time!!! Ain't nothing better than... (other than our own awesome US Armed Forces)... than some KIM Jong IL, WWE Wrestling action, and rap musick... looong time!!! WARNING: This is NOT safe for the work environment, looong time!!! Again...thanks LOOONG time, to the wonderful Leslie!!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

KIM Jong IL Watches CNN


Meanwhile somewhere norf of the Samsung-infested nation of South Korea we find Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL watching Shee-N-N for the latest news...

KIM: General Wang! Come quick and adjust wabbit ears on mine Philco TV!!

WANG: (enters and adjusts) There you go, Great Reader Sir! Rabbit ears all adjusted.

KIM: Great! This is LOOONG time important breaking news I'm watching!!!

WANG: Wow! Look at all those people jumping up and down, celebrating, and waving flags, Sir.

KIM: Yeah...I'm guess Bawack Whosenamed Obama has granted them all amnesty! Looks like those Mexiclans know how to throw a fiesta LOOONG time!!!

WANG: Sir...those are Egyptians.

KIM: Oh...my bad.

WANG: Will there be anything else, Oh Great One?

KIM: I'm hung-glee, Wang. Why don't you call Colonel Sanchez's Korean Fried Chicken and order up a bucket of El Pollo Loco!

WANG: Si.