Sunday, August 29, 2010

Missing Him

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

My brother Joe and Poetry
Teen suicide sucks. I found out, first-hand, in 1971. My brother with that beautiful nervous smile of his, left us. It happened late at night. I was age 16 and asleep. Joe would have been 19 in one more week. I hope he stopped by my room and said goodbye. I'll never know. I have memories of him, very good ones. I discarded the negative, as best I can. The blog has helped me do this. If I could change things I would. He was so smart. So quiet. Call me Mr Opposite. We fought and loved each-other. He was my big brother but I was larger. He wrote this funny poem and I never forgot it. I don't know if my sisters know it, but I know it. word.for.word.


When I get older, I know what I'll be.

A wino's life, is the life for me.

Vin Ros'e and Muscatel,

A life like that would sure be swell!

I'd live down by the railroad tracks,

And keep my wine in paper sacks.

When I'm older and I die,

You'll know it's cause my bottle's dry!

Today: Sunday 29 August 2010
As I hurry to get ready for church and pray for good...I will try and knock this out. I wish it was something I could get out of me but it's stuck there. It's been what, 38 years? I was tying my shoes, getting ready for school. Another sunny May morning in 1971. Perfect for me, a Junior in high school, until I heard Mom yelling my Dad's name in a very different sounding loud and frantic voice. Joe was in the garage. It was there he'd taken a rope and ladder, sometime during the late-night or early morning hours, and comitted suicide. I ran from my bedroom as Dad pushed Mom out of the garage and told me to help get Joe off the rope. I held his limp body up so Dad could get the noose off of him. Joe was brilliant. He was sensitive. He was my big brother. We set him down softly and then I heard the air leave his lungs. He was week before he would have turned 19. My Elder Sister Carol could not bring herself to go to Joe's funeral. She deeply loved him and she and her wonderful husband took Joe into their home several times for weeks and months. She was forever mad at my Dad over Joe's death. You see..Joe was receiving professional psychological counseling and it cost money. Dad grew up on a farm in Texas during the depression and was a WWII USMC veteran of Guadalcanal. I think my Dad just figured life was tough and you just overcame things. He thought wrong... but this...I believe, was his mindset. He was my Dad and I couldn't fault him on his reasoning. I can't. All these questions like why?...come flooding at me. Still puzzling and hurting at times. Often out of the blue. Did he say good by to me? Is he in heaven? Is he in hell? Is there a heaven or a hell, or a damn God of any good out there? Could I have done or said something to him to keep from doing this to himself...TO US???!!! I couldn't wait to get away from home and my Mom's Jehovah God. More later maybe.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Presidents Just Want to Have Fun

Our President is still on vacation. Still. Here's a JihadGene rewrite of Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun".

President's Just Want to Have Fun: sung by President Obama

I'm never home in the morning light
Hater's sayin',"When in hell are you gonna do your job right?"
Let me make it clear... we're not the fortunate ones
And Presidents...they want to have fun
Oh Presidents just want to have fun

The phone rings telling me about some stupid Middle Eastern fight
Michelle yells to me, "Where we gonna go eat at tonight?!"
Oh Baby dear you know we'll just take Air Force One
Cuz Obamas they want to have fun
The Obamas just want to have fun

That's all we really want
Some fun
When the golfing day is done
Obamas they want to have fun
The Obamas just want to have fun

Conservatives, they take it like a little girl
Say I can't hide away from the rest of the world
I want to be "The One", a "Raisin in the Sun"
Obamas they want to have fun
The Obamas just want to have

That's all we really want
Some fun
When my vacation days are done
My Girls still want to have fun
O's girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
They want to have fun....

Friday, August 27, 2010

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

You like KIM Jong IL? Well, maybe not, but how about Elton's John? Yes, Great Reader thought you would like Mister John...looong time!!! And the song? Wocket Man! A big hit in Norf Korea and across the wirld why webb, done by none udder than the Great Reader, KIM Jong IL. It's another Friday folks, so let's all sing and dance together in celebration of Jimmy Carter(who is in this music video's end) bringing back a dumbshit from Massachewsitts who wanted to prove that North Korea's government was about as happy with illegal aliens as is the great state of Arizona. I do all this KIM stuff in fun but remember that North Korea(KIM Jong IL) is starving it's people. They can use our prayers and good vibes looong time.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Confessions of a JihadGene

Kanani Fong got me to confess. She pulled it right outta my deep-dark Seoul..."I admit it. I used to take my Dad's 'True Magazines' to look at cool stuff like Asian lady snake charmers."
Side bar: My Mom made me go to the Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall a lot because of this.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Breaking Norf Korean News!

Dicktater KIM Jong IL announced today that the American White's House was sending a former US President to North Korea. This diplomatic mission is in hopes to possibly secure the freedom of a US spy who referred to the Great Reader as "Mr Juche Fruit". When interviewed, Great Reader KIM Jong IL said it was unclear as to which former US president it would be..."Either the Peanut President or the Penis President". So there you have it, North prepared for a visit from Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton. We now return to our regularly scheduled program...Welcome Back Carter.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

KIM Jong IL on Iran's Drone & Vacations

(CNN) -- Iran unveiled the first long-range military drone manufactured in the country on Sunday, state media reported.
The unmanned aerial vehicle is capable of carrying out bombing missions against ground targets and flying long distances at a high speed, Press TV said.

Meanwhile somewhere north of the 46" LCDHD TV Samsung factories we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL watching CNN on his state-of-the-NorfKorean-art, 1959 RCA Victor brack & white television set...

KIM: General Wang!!!

WANG: Right here, Great Reader! What can I do for you, Sir?

KIM: Adjust wabbit ears on telweebizzion set to bling in CNN news.

WANG: All adjusted, Sir.

KIM: (pointing to TV) Will ya rook at that?! WOW!

WANG: seems Iran has developed a long distance drone for bombing, Great One.

KIM: Those gay Iranians are very cleaver peoples!

WANG- That's clever, Sir.

KIM: Whats-ever.

WANG: Sir, with such a drone... and now that Iran has a nuclear reactor... where do you think all this is headed to, Sir?

KIM: For sures it's gots to be Israel.

WANG: Should the USA's President Obama be concerned about such a weapon, Sir?

KIM: I'm would says if drone is heading towards the White's House, no pwoblem...but if vacation spots with golf courses are targeted, then Obama's got serious twoubles.

KIM & WANG: Bwahhahahahaha!!!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Meanwhile back at Martha's Vineyard...

Obama: Okay Kids, let's pack it all up... because WE are going on a VACATION!

Kids: But Dad...we ARE on a vacation. You meant to say HOME.

OBAMA: Sure, kids. Anybody see my golf clubs?

Friday, August 20, 2010

Jim Hanson Receives Job in Congress!

Rumor has it (via scuttle-butt.gorge) that BlackFive's very own former Special Forces Master Sergeant, Uncle Jimbo Hanson...has finally received a looong time sought-after position in the throbbing metropolis of Washington D.C.! That's right, folks...Jimbo is now rumored to be a "shoe-in" as an intern in Congressman Barney Frank's office!!! Pictured is Uncle "J" in the gold colored, Barney Frank approved, intern prospect blazer! When questioned about this rumor, Uncle "J" only said..."Don't ask...don't tell". JG;)

Obama to KIM Jong IL on Face Book

Dear Great Reader KIM Jong IL,
I am taking time away from my busy vacation schedule to send you greetings from the mostly Muslim country of the United States of America. Kim, if you would stop making trouble for me I could hook you up with a boatload of freshly boiled-in-oil Louisiana shrimp...or how's about I give you Janet Napolitano's phone number? Maybe some olive drab colored platform shoes in a size 5? Get back at me, my man!

As Always,
Barry Whosenamed Obama
White House, USA

It's Friday! Let's Dance!!!

Well another Friday and we find President Obama on yet a'nudder vacation. Dude's been on one since day one. But I guess it could be worse...he could be at work. Oh is how's about a dance tune? In the words of KIM Jong IL "Let's do it! Let's Dance!!!" Happy Flyday!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

It's National Airborne Day!

I never was too fond of heights or of jumping out of perfectly fine working aircraft but...whatever. This one's for those with the big balls and silver wings! God bless our Airborne Soldiers and their Jump Masters looong time!!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Bad News-Good News

JihadGene here. Well people...I think I lost my job at Jet Blue. But on the bright side... I did get an offer to be the stunt-double in Mel Gibson's next movie!!!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

KIM Jong IL's View on GM's Latest Plans

Meanwhile somewhere north of the South Korean Hyundai factories, we find Norf Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL contemplating the latest news from The American Thinker ...

KIM: General Wang! Get your koon-dingie (Korean speak 4 butt) overs here ASLAP!!!

WANG- Right here, Great Reader! What's going on, Sir?

KIM: I'm gonna be witch-which-WITCH!!!

WANG: You're going to be rich, Sir?

KIM: Abs-so-rootly, General Wang!

WANG: How so, Most Excited One?

KIM: See's article in The American Stinker? See howze it says General Motors is going to build new pants in Mexiglow?

WANG: Yes, Sir...I see the article about GM building new "plants" in Mexico. But how's that going to make you rich, Most Entrepreneurial One?

KIM: E fluckin' Z! I'm goings to open up...

WANG: A raft rental and dive shop? You mean, Sir... like a place that rents river rafts and sells wetsuits and dive gear, Sir?

KIM: Of course!!!

WANG: But how could that possibly make you rich, Sir?

KIM: Vocation-Vocation-Vocation!!!

WANG: Location-location-location? I don't understand. Where would you set up shop, Sir?

KIM: Anywhere's in the good old USA on the "NORF" side of the Rio Grande, mi Amigo!

WANG: (see's the light) Oh,I get it! What with all the Americans out of work, they'll be flocking south to Mexico for employment.

KIM: BLINGO!!! (Norf Korean speak for BINGO)


*Special looong time thanks to FB friend Katy Ward for the inspiration of this piece

Friday, August 6, 2010

Sympathy for A-Bombing Japan

My Dad was a Marine at Guadalcanal. The bomb put a stop to the war with Japan. It saved many lives on both sides. If the Japanese are still looking for sympathy they should (as my Dad used to say) look for it in the dictionary, between the words "shit" and "syphilis"...that's where they can find their sympathy.

It's Friday! Let's Dance with KIM Jong IL!!!

This is one of my favorites LOOONG time! I've posted it before but deserves another viewing for your dancing pleasure. Why dance, you ask? Because it's Friday!!!
Have a Great Reader weekend everyone!!! RUV you all LOOONG time!!! JG ;
(If ya have a cool dance tune leave a link in comments, preeze!)