Monday, August 31, 2009
Kev has finished his R&R and is headed back to Iraq. The wonderful Tankerbabe has more photos at her blog HERE. Be sure to stop by and find out about something really cool she does with a cell phone while walking through airports. Tankerbabe calls it "concourse cruising". For all you do, Tankerbabe and Kev....thank you both LOOONG time!!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Meanwhile somewhere north of the 38th Parallel we find Norf Korea's Great Reader KIM Jong IL in the Dear Leader Jacuzzi built by the joyous starving peoples of the DPRK...
KIM- General Wang!
WANG- Here, Oh Great One.
KIM- Need more Mister Brubble!
WANG- More Mr Bubble? Right away, Sir!
KIM- Good and makes it click (quick) cause I'm really stressed over one of mine shipments being high-japped!
WANG- Hijacked?...Oh, you mean you are really stressed because of the United Arab Emirates seizing a ship containing weapons bound for Iran. I believe it was 10 containers of North Korean-manufactured munitions, detonators, explosives and rocket-propelled grenades. Isn't that right, Great Reader?
KIM- General Wang! Let's me makes one ting perfectwee queer to you!
WANG- Uh...Make one thing perfectly clear, your Most Greatness? What would that be, Sir?
KIM- Those containers were queerly marked as "Iranian Birthday Party Favors"!!!
WANG- But Sir, the contents of those containers were weapons, not birthday party favors.
KIM- DAMN!!! I'm can'ts believe I'm so stupid!
WANG- Stupid, Sir?
KIM- Yes...stew-fwickin-pid! Of course they seized them! I had them improperly marked...
WANG- Improperly marked, Great Reader?
KIM- But of course! The containers contained a contents chock full of Norf Korean-manufractured munitions, detoenators, exprosives and wocket plo-pelled gwenades. Obviously had I labeled the contents as "Iraqi Wedding Party Favors" I could have shaved myself much face and embarrassment! Now get me my Mr Brubble and a plastic replica of a 1968 Oldsmobile!
WANG- A 1968 Olds, Sir? But why?
KIM- I'm playin' Chappaquiddick!
WANG- Very good, Sir.
KIM- Heh-heh-heh. Call me Teddy.
Back from Sacramento, that is! The tea party tour send-off was not near as big as I had hoped for but it was all good in the hood. I won't get into numbers but I met some great people and saw some wonderful signs in the protest. I shook hands with many people from various cities around Fresno and Sacramento but I also met a large group from San Diego, and some wonderful folks from places like Mill Valley, Santa Rosa, Sonoma, Napa, Pioneer, Jackson, and Grass Valley. Regretfully I carried no camera and should have taken pictures of people with their clever signs. I had two signs I made and printed up on my computer. Next time I'll just use some cheap grade-school type paint for that as my ink in the printer got sucked up from all my unsuccessful "test signs". Oh well, live and learn. If you wanted a good laugh you could just walk around and read all the signs and don't forget to look at the shirts people were wearing. Some really cool Obama art! I didn't take pictures...wished I would have. Sorry about that. I saw and shook hands with a good sized group of Hispanic farm workers from the Central Valley protesting for water. I heard an impressive speaker there named Mason Weaver. Awesome! Another awesome person I met was this man John Dennis. He is running against Nancy Pelosi in 2010! I'm all for that. That is all for now as I must get back to work and earn some more tax dollars for the"Ted Kennedy Funeral on Parade Tour" featuring that SUCK-ASS SENATOR from Arizona... John McCain!!!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
RIP Mary Jo.
What with Elvis sightings, and rumors of Jim Morrison (The Doors) faking his death back in 1971, we now have an exclusive North Korean Spy-cam photo of Senator Ted Kennedy. Pictured here is Teddy going over the Golden Gate Bridge approximately 2 hours ago.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Praise Allah, it is good to see some of you all! You may remain seated at parade-rest while I indoctrinate you Boston Baked Bean Tivo-Baggers! First off...what in the name of Victoria's Secrets is wrong with you people?! How dare anyone clown or boo true patriots like war hero (sell out) Senator John McCain and the revered Community Organizer who doubled-down with ACORN (code word for muslim brothers) and parlayed his way into the Opel Office, President Barack HUSSEIN Obama! That reminds me...you will soon all be driving Opels. 2nd Off...Great Reader KIM Jong IL likes nothing better than a touchy-feely government to earn the world's disrespect by shaking hands with terrorists and dicktators while they curse you and spit on your ancestors graves! You peoples of the once free world now belong to Nancy Pelosi! Obey her...bow to her...love her, as the Great Reader says, LOOONG time! If you ever decide to do something good for your country then blow out your brains with one of your numerous RPG's or assault rifles (I like the AK-47 myself) but if you're really feeling like committing sepuku then go to work for the CIA! It's even worse than being a cop in Los Angeles! Worse than walking through a Walmart on a pay day (welfare check) weekend! Worse than having to watch a bunch of stupid crab fishermen on a special episode of Ice Road Truckers Gone Logging! Worse than having to watch that Chappaquiddick 100 meter freestyle swimming champion's funeral! Praise be to Allah but it is even worse than reading me rant on about politics!
...We now return you to your normal programming on MSNBC...
"The Joys of Sharia Law"
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
(AFP) – 4 hours ago
WASHINGTON — No, Kim Jong-Il is not on Twitter. A Twitter account which styles itself as that of the Pyongyang-based Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) is actually the work of an unknown individual who bills himself or herself as a "satirist and journalist."
The account, @kcna_dprk, has been online since April and has attracted more than 4,500 followers.
It spews out a daily stream of links to stories from KCNA -- "U.S.-South Korea Joint Military Exercises Blasted" and "Day of Korea's Liberation Marked by Koreans in Kyrgyzstan" were among Monday's items.
The stories themselves are authentic, plucked from the KCNA newswire, but the Twitter feed is not affiliated with the official North Korean news agency.
In a direct message exchange on Twitter with AFP, the author of the account first replied -- tongue-in-cheek -- that the @kcna_dprk feed was published by the "Korean Friendship Association of Sao Tome and Principe."
Pressed further, the author said: "I'm satirist and journalist and I write for many magazines."
South Korea's Yonhap news agency reported earlier this year the account was produced by "unofficial activists" with media rights group Reporters Sans Frontiers and stupidedia.org, a German satirical Wikipedia-style website.
The Paris-based RSF, however, categorically denied any involvement with the account and the author told AFP on Twitter: "I'm not from stupidedia.org, but I wrote 4 article for this wiki."
Twitter, which recently began implementing a system of "verified accounts" after a spate of impersonation cases, did not respond to repeated queries from AFP about the @kcna_dprk account.
Impersonation has been a bane for the San Francisco-based micro-blogging service, which earlier this year suspended a bogus account claiming to be that of the Tibetan spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama.
While the North Korean leader may not have an official presence on Twitter, there is a fake account in his name -- @the_kim_jong_il.
Among the latest pronouncements from the faux Kim? "I can make love better than James Bond," and "Loyal patriots must be prepared to die for the leader."
THE FRUCK I'M Don KNOTTS!!!
Great Reader KIM Jong Il here. Let's Facebook it...I'm made some big ass miss-steaks in my wifetime and one was hookin' up with Madeline Albright... whom I'm boned in return for a lousy basketball from Michael of Jordan. Another was joining Twitter. Twitters is more full of Tweets than Congressman Barney Frank's townehouse! Now, I...Great Reader... has people frums all over Iowa, Fresno, and Newport News, who wants to "join me" and suck my aged and stroked-out balls... and shit like that... or even worse! They want to join ME. Fruck that! Lucky me. I'm not empressed! Bill Clinton is who you wants... not me, you Twittering Twits! Go Twitter a congressman or congresswoman...what with all the Town Hall meetings, they'd ruv to have you as a friend LOOONG time! God knows that piece of shit Nancy Pelosi or John McCain could use some fan mail right-about-now. Just sayin'.
Ruv yoo LOOONG time,
Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
KIM- ROR! (raff out roud)
(enter General Wang)
WANG- Great Reader, Sir! What's the matter?!
KIM- (drying tears from eyes) This Obama-san getting more better every day, I'm swears!
WANG- How so, Great One?
KIM- (still laughing) Washington Post says President Obrama now forming a Ford Elite team of interrogators to question key terrorism suspects. LOL!
WANG- What's so funny about that, Sir?
KIM- Here's picture of one of Oblama's terror suspects....
KIM- Don't mess with the AARP, Muh-Fugger!
KIM & WANG- BWAHAhahahaha!!!
WANG- (trying to keep a straight face)
Great Reader, look! I just found a terror cell on the internet!
KIM & WANG- BWAHAhahahaha!!!
KIM- (laughing so hard he wets his pants)
Thanks to Obama, now I'm all Wee-Wee'd Up!
KIM & WANG- BWAHAhahahaha!!!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Welcome to Obamapeedia! This is the Conservative-Free encyclopedia of Negrology that most Caucasians can't comprehend!
Today's Featured Article- ALL WE-WEE'D UP
(*hat tip Drudge report)
wee⋅wee'd/ˈwiˌwi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation noun, verb, -weed, -wee⋅ing. Cool Aflac-can American speak for uniting people of all races including blue-eyed white devils on the Cambridge Police Department via a beer summit.
1. bed wetter
–verb (used without object)
2. to urinate upon another's mattress in a community organizing effort to achieve HOPE and CHANGE for the peeons.
2008-09 Barack Obama, Reverend Jeremiah Wright Jr, with a big reach-around and rusty trombone from Harvard Professor of Negrology, Henry Louis Gates Jr.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Great Reader...You have some visitors!
What?! Bill Clinton, again?
Oh no, Sir. You have a couple of visitors!
Don't call me Sir! I'm worked so hard to get the title of Great Reader!
I'm sorry, Great Reader. So sorry.
No biggie. Send in the visitors...chop-chop!
Great Reader, I'm afraid Star Wars is history. The movie DISTRICT 9 is kickin' ass!
Well no shit, Stormtrooper Sherlock! Now kick rocks! You girls can stay.
I'm making cat food for our alien friends...Korean style!!!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Meanwhile we journey across the great Pacific to the shores of the "Land of the Morning Missile Launch" where we find North Korea's Great Reader, KIM Jong IL and 7 Star General Wang role playing in a game of Cops-n-Big Shots. Let's join in...
KIM- Oklay, General Wang! You be cop and I'm be an American Wok (rock) Star named Blob Dillions.
WANG- Bob Dylan, Sir?
KIM- That's what I'm said!
WANG- Very good, O' Great One. What's the set-up?
KIM- You are frat-foot just doing your job. Got it?
WANG- I am a flat-foot...er...police officer doing my job, when what, Sir?
KIM- You are the FLUZZ doing your job when suddenly you receive call on police wokie-tawkie of a suspicious person walking in da neighbors hood. You have to find him and checkie-checkie!
WANG- I am the FUZZ...er...a police officer doing my job when I am called on my police radio, notified of a suspicious person walking in the neighborhood, and I am to check him out. Is that correct, Great Reader?
KIM- Collect! Now go ahead, let's play roll.
WANG- Very well, Sir...
Sir, I have stopped you because of a report of a suspicious person in the neighborhood. May I see some ID, please?
KIM- I am a wok-star. My name is Blob Dillions. Doo's you wreckcognize me?
WANG- Sorry Sir... but I don't. I remember pictures of you many years ago but I really can't recognize you today. Sorry. Do you have any ID, Sir?
KIM- No. I'm have none on me but lets go find manager back at hotel and clear this up.
WANG- Very good, Sir.
KIM- The ending. That went smooth. Now let's try a nudder senior-R.E.O.
WANG- Another scenario, Sir? Very well.
KIM- You are an AFLAC-can American, Professor of Negrology at Harvard's UniversCity when some PIG on Cambridge P.D. that been keepin' the black man down, be haa-rassing yo' ass. Now then, that same PIG has the Audacity of Hope to ask you for your ID when you properly put "Da MAN" down with a "Don't you know who the Hell I am?" and "Yo Mamma is so fat that when she goes into a restaurant the waiter gives her an estimate instead of a menu!"or "On a scale from 1 to 10 your Mamma is a muh-fuggin 747!" This PIG then cuffs you up and takes yo ass to jail foe no apparent reason!
WANG- Very good, Sir...but who are you? The policeman?
KIM- Oh hell naw! I am Plesident Baalack Obama!
WANG- I see. Hmmm...It's getting late, Sir.
KIM-You're right as usual, General Wang. How about taking a bwake and having a teachable moment over some beer?
WANG- Twist my arm.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
BREAKING NEWS: PyongYANG, North Korea.
It's ohfishall! President Obama's golfing puppet (Tiger's Woods) has been defeated by South Korean golfer Y.E. YANG in the final round of the PGA Championship. In the true spirit of Korean golfing fanaticism, Norf Korean Dicktater, Great Reader KIM Jong IL, has ordered that all gulags with prisoners named YANG be issued 9 irons to break rocks with. Have a nice day.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
SON- Gee Mom...you did that without firing a shot!
SARAH- I can't take credit for it, son. Obama Care got to him first.
Hmmm... it seems everyone in the Democrat White House was clowning Sarah Palin for talking about H.R. 3200 containing "death panels" and now, according to the L.A.Times...
"A Senate panel has decided to scrap the part of its healthcare bill that in recent days has given rise to fears of government "death panels," with one lawmaker suggesting the proposal was just too confusing. The Senate Finance Committee is taking the idea of advance care planning consultations with doctors off the table as it works to craft its version of healthcare legislation, a Democratic committee aide said Thursday."
So what was wrong with it that they had to omit the advance care planning part of the Obama Care bill? Team Sarah scores one! Team Obama, your moose is cooked.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Here is Kev enjoying the high-life back in the good old U.S. of A....
WELCOME HOME LOOONG TIME, KEV! YOU NUMBA ONE G.I.! HOOAH!!!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Aww-ight... now that I have your undivided attention, suckers...Now hear this! Obama has said you must do the following at all Town Hall meetings...
You got that, Suckers?!
Nancy Reagan?! When I find JihadGene, I will kick his goat-smellin' ass for postin' this photo!
Now, let's recap...Obama says...
Muppets?! WTF'n F?!!! JihadGene be F#@KING wiff me! When I get a'hold of his ass even the AARP won't want him!!!
(*Have a great Tuesday, LOOONG TIME!!!)
Monday, August 10, 2009
My church and the White House have similar strategies when it comes to smoothing over things. Take for instance like when buying new stuff to replace the old with...even though the old stuff is still reliable. I remember when the church mucky-mucks (finance committee) decided to buy 2 new big honkin' piece-of-poop Dodge church vans to cruise around town in. People in the church were kind of taken aback/miffed at this new financial burden but what the hell?! Let's put on the "yoke of love" and break out some of that "In God we trust"!
Now, to sell us this crap the head pastor stays clear of it and in steps the Music Ministry Pastor. Like Washington DC has too many politicians & czars, we have too many pastors. Anyway, Mr. Music Pastor Dude tells the congregation (code word for: suckers who will pay for this crap) why we are gonna buy 2 new Dodge Ramtoughmyass Passenger Vans at a cost of blah-blah-blah. Pastor Dude's take on it was this, "Well we really need 4 vans for our church's growth but WE decided to be frugal and we will ONLY purchase 2 vans." I guess I was supposed to be doing a bunch of hosanna's with the choir right about then but, still stuck in my heathen ways of common worldly horse-sense, I just couldn't quite get into the Hallelujah Trail of it all. This was back in 1998 or so. Now it's 2009 (I think) and there was a flap on Friday about new Gulfstream and Boeing planes for our politicians to cruise around the world and parts of San Francisco in. On Friday they wanted a total of 4 of them. Well now it's Monday and is announced that these blowers of bucks, these trashers of tax dollars, wanted a total of 8 new planes but now are going to do the responsible thing and only get 4 new jet powered luxurious cruise machines. The article is HERE. Do I sense a case of First Baptist dejavu here or what? I hate Mondays... and look at what this Nimrod...I mean King Ahab...er...U.S. Senator, is saying...
"The whole thing kind of makes me sick to my stomach," said Sen. Claire McCaskill (D., Mo.) in an interview Sunday. "It is evidence that some of the cynicism about Washington is well placed -- that people get out of touch and they spend money like it's Monopoly money."
It should be noted that what Ahab wanted, Ahab got, especially with Jezebel's (Nancy Pelosi) help. So now they (our government) are going to only get 4 new jets and then say they did the right thing by saving us taxpayers millions. Woooo Hooo! Lucky us! How nice of them saving us taxpayer money by only buying 4 planes for themselves instead of 8! Are we blessed with these financial wizards or what?! We should get down on bended-knee and thank them for that personal sacrifice (with our dollars) they made! Hmmm...it was only 2 weeks ago these same "Goliath's of the Gray Matter" refused 1.75 billion dollars funding for the F-22 Raptor. Guess the Senators and Nancy Pelosi needed the money for their pimped-out planes instead. Think I'll just go out and wander around in the desert till I get to Las Vegas anyway. That is all. Praise Allah and pass the KY jelly!!!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
North Korean Dictator KIM Jong Il has ordered a parade in honor of former US President Bill Clinton. Seen here are...
The Air Force...
and last, but not least, the Arkansas Coast Guard ...
Friday, August 7, 2009
Ya know, life is precious (though Obama Care may not agree with me). As I speak to you with one hand on a bible and the other on a gun, let's face it...some assholes need killin'. According to the wonderful Uncle Jimbow at Black Five, our high-tech troops have taken out (via a drone) a Big Kahuna Dirt Bag 1st class. I'm talking about the #1 Taliban of Pakistan, Mr. Baitullah Mehsud and his inflatable sheep (wife). I love his first name (BAIT...ullah). Hellfire Missile bait! Good riddance. It's Friday! Let's be thankful for our outstanding US Armed Forces and dance!!!
Man, I feel good! Like I knew that I would! No. No... I ain't no James Brown...clown. It be me, JihadGene. I be going to Las Vegas' Blog World Expo in October on the 15th thru 17th! Got's my Hilton hook-up for only $69 a night (12% room tax not included). That includes a Friday and Saturday night in Vegas. Wooo Hooo! Great Reader KIM Jong IL on the Strip!!! Yeah, Baby! I cleared it with the War Department (the wife) and all is a go! Gotta shine up the big oversized sunglasses and break out the Chairman Mao suit. Though it's two months away, Great Reader is FLYERED UP AND WEDDY TO GO!!! While I have secured the hotel room, I have not secured a Blog World Expo 2009 pass. Anybody know what type of pass I should get to see all the milbloggers? Hmmm...need some advice on this. Please give me some advice if you have been before. Tanks looong time!!! JG
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Artist: Lee Greenwood
Title: Proud To Be An American
Bastardized by: JihadGeneRetitled: Proud To Be A What?
If tomorrow all the insurance was gone,
I’d worked for (those benefits) all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just Obama and his messed-up wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be living elsewhere today.
‘ Cause the flag that stood for freedom,
freedoms Pelosi took away.
And I’m proud to be an Aflac-can American,
where I know health care's not free.
And I wont forget the Senators who lied,
who took trillions from me.
And I gladly drop my drawers,
next to you and moon Obama still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt he's shafted this land,
We're screwed, the USA!!!
From the flakes of San Francisco,
to my tax bills too high to see.
Across the plains of Texas,
I'll sneak across the Rio Grand-eee.
From Tiajuana down to Jalisco,
to Korea Town down in L.A.
Where's the pride in American hearts?
Guess its time we stand and say
That I’m proud to be a Mexican,
where the cerveza's all tax free.
And I wont forget the Congressmen who lied,
who took my rights from me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to Jose (Cuervo) and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the Mexican way!
And I’m proud to be a Caucasian Mexican,
where at least I know I’m Obama free.
And I wont forget the community organizer who lied,
and tried to bone poor old me.
And I gladly drink up,
next to you and curse Barack still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I loved that land,
God help the USA!!!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
But at what cost? Will we ever know? Was aid given? What kind of aid? More technology like we gave to China, only better now? Don't get me wrong...I am glad these ladies are to be freed...but at what cost? I wish our US Armed Forces were as precious to Obama as these "journalists".
Monday, August 3, 2009
It's Monday. I made some coffee. I ground the coffee beans. Smells wonderful. The coffee brews...but not fast enough. I wait.... smelling the aroma of good coffee brewing. Pour a cup. It's loaded with grounds. So are my teeth. Crap. It's Monday, alright. I pour it all out and make a new pot. I will have to floss again thanks to my addiction to Juan Valdez. Yesterday was good. Had a great Sunday off from our Mom & Pop clothing store, Fashion Thug. Went to church and prayed for all your heathen souls. Later we headed to Sal's Mexican Restaurant located in the barrio of Selma, Ca. The restaurant is located in an older residential area where the homes are small and most built right after the war (WWII). A police officer was in the parking lot taking some lunch out to his black & white crusier. Cops know what's good. At Sals the food is grand, the service excellent, and it's atmosphere is loud and happy. I wish churches used Sal's as an example of what the inside of a church should be like. On the way home the radio was playing Elvis' 1972 hit "Burning Love". Man-O-man! I sang and danced my ass off while driving down a country road. Good thing I don't text! My wife just smiled her all-knowing smile at me. Our son, in the backseat, was cracking up. It was a great day! Today started a little rough but I am looking forward to it regardless. Elvis is in the "Fashion Thug" building! I'm just a Hunka-Hunka...Happy Monday!!!