Friday, February 27, 2009

Love Those Jar Heads

You just gotta love these two US Marines on Convoy Escort Duty! God bless our Road-Dawgs on the highways of Iraq! Enjoy these Marines as they give you a true music medley and displays of IN-YOUR-FACE patriotism as well. God bless our troops and their families...LOOONG TIME!!!

It's Friday! Let's Dance!'s Friday so let's sing and dance together kids! It seems my Bro and Sis In Law are headed back home to Korea on Monday. I'll miss them. I changed the words of this classic song to sing along to...see below. I just had to express my sincere grief at their leaving. So put on those cowboy boots or your Tony Lama tennis shoes and dance with the Great Reader and JihadGene! Please join in!! (Don't tell my wife!!!)

SILVER WINGS> JihadGene Remixed

Silver wings shinning in the sunlight,
roaring engines headed TO KOREA in flight.
They're taking you away, leaving me HAPPY,
silver wings TOO slowly fading out of sight.
Don't COME BACK i cry, don't take that airplane ride (back anytime too soon).
But you DROVE me out of MY mind. left me
Silver wings shining ON the *KIMCHEE,
(if you don't know what Kimchee is, well, good luck making sense of this blog)
roaring engines headed WESTWARD in flight.
They're taking you COME MONDAY, leaving me ECSTATIC.
silver wings TOO-DARNED slowly fading out of sight.
Silver wings shining on the *SAMGYE-TANG (Korean ginseng chicken soup),
roaring engines headed TO KOREA in flight,
they're taking you away. Leaving me DOING DOUBLE-BACK FLIPS!!!.
Silver wings TOO slowly fading out of sight.
WAY TOO Slowly fading out of sight.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

This is Only a Test!

My all American friend (LL) over at Chromed Curses brings up some interesting Korean folklore/stupid shit. Let me tell ya, right from the git go (not to be confused with GITMO) that LL is all American. Let there be zero doubt about that, but her birth Mom was 100% Korean. So what does that make LL, you dare ask?! She's a 100% American who likes kimchee and rice... and kimpap (kimbop)... and good Korean foods like that! Hell, I love it looong time too and I'm a 6'3" 250 pound (give or take 20 lbs on a good night) Californian American...scratch that shit....I'm an American who wants to move to Texas but my wife won't go for it. Enough!

So dear readers, let's talk things uniquely (strangely) Korean...

Korean Fact#1-
LL writes..."we had 4 cats when we had my daughter and my mom was CONVINCED those cats were gonna kill her in her sleep".

Honestly this comes as no surprise to me (JihadGene) as I think the last Korean horror movie I watched was titled "Attack of the Killer Kittens" starring the late comedian Rodney Danger-Kim and the lovely late Marilyn Mogo (mogo means eat in Korean). Cats are killers!!! My dogs hate them. That's good enough for me. (I really like cats...not so much the wife)

Korean Fact #2-
LL also reminded me of this horror of horrors as well...she wrote...
"Do your in-laws have that 'fan in a closed room' dying thing? That one still cracks me up".

Did you know that in Korea it is widely believed that if you leave a fan on in your room with the window closed it will suffocate your ass?! Another Korean fact-O-life and death for you Americans to ponder!!! I'm thinkin' it's about time for the B-In-Law and S-In-Law to cutta (Korean for split). Being as it was a warm 68 degrees today, I'm thinking I will lock all the doors and windows shut, then kick on the ceiling fans to WARP-Speed!!! Even if they don't leave it will be worth it in my book. The wife is at work now and the son and I want our home back... or at least we could use a good laugh. This would fill the bill perfectly! Wish us luck and I will be sure that my son doesn't stand near any window or door when I conduct this test of "THE KOREAN EMERGENCY BAILOUT SYSTEM"!!!

Pentagon to Allow Coverage of US War Dead

This hurts and plain pisses me off! Here it is RIGHT HERE!

I do not want our heroe's caskets returning home made into a photo op for politicians to parade around as a bunch of caring patriotic individuals (with an ulterior motive) like this pathetic POS, the Lt Governor of Pennsylvania, Catherine Baker Knoll did in July 2005. In case you didn't hear or forgot, read HERE! The anti-war types will only use the photos for their propaganda purposes. I refuse to let our honored heroes be used! Period. It's not right.
Thanks to BLACKFIVE for the head's up.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Dogs and the Korean In-Laws

My buddy Deltabravo has asked me a timely question. She asked: How is my white dog, the West Highland White Terrier, BOOGER BUTT, getting along with my Korean visitors (Brother-In-Law & Sister-In-Law)? As far as my SIL is concerned the dogs are to stay out as she is too busy enjoying her time here in the USA cleaning, cooking, and moving shit all over the place where I can't freeking find it. Same program she pulls on me every 2 years when she comes and visits, but I'll be damned if she doesn't change-up locations on where she thinks my stuff should be! Holy batshit! She's a great lady so I can't rant too much more than that.
Now...On to My Bro-In-L and Booger Butt!
My Westie (Booger Butt) loves B-In-Law LOOONG time!!! She sits and watches him work all day long. She won't even doze off and she's almost 9 Caucasion people years old. Note that I did not say Asian people years old, as they age slower because of all the damned rice they eat 24-7 and try to feed me sack-loads of (morning, noon, and night) while they are here visiting me. The lucky b-tards!
Anyway, my B-I-L smokes outside (thank God) and loves to work outside. My Booger Butt (the Westie) will sit and watch him smoke, or work, as if she is absolutely love-struck! It's funny but true. She loves to just sit and watch him work and stuff. Maybe my Booger Butt was a California Transportation (CALTRANS) worker in another life? All those Caltrans assholes do is put out orange cones then stand around and supervise work that takes forever to get done. After that they go and bitch to Governor Arnold that they get no R-E-S-P-E-C-T and want more money. My other dog is a Shitzu and could give a shitzu less. Fin.

Obama's Gaza Strip Bailout

US to Provide $900M for Gaza Strip?
Yep! You can read it here.
Lube found here.
Thanks looong time, Mr Obama.

*hat tip Leslie's Omnibus for the lube.

Koreans Have Taken Over or I Want My House Back

My wonderful Korean Brother-In-Law and Sis-In-Law are driving me ape shit. If any of you are involved in Korean or Asian culture this should come as no surprise to you...
Worker ants and bees are sloths compared to them.
There, I said it. I feel better already.

Monday, February 23, 2009

KIM Jong IL Moves Rockets and Wears Hawaiian Shirt

Meanwhile somewhere in North Korea, near the Land 'O the Morning Missile Launch...the Musudan-ri Missile Base, we find Great Reader KIM Jong IL in a wheelchair armed with a laptop computer, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, and humming a familiar Beach Boys tune with his aide-de-camp, the 7 star General Wang...

WANG- My Great Reader, it's so very good to see you in such high spirits Sir!

KIM- Yeah Buddie! Ever since I'm read in Reuters this... (points to laptop)

"U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton warned the prickly North during a visit to Seoul last Friday not to make any provocative moves, to stop taunting its southern neighbour and return to sputtering international nuclear disarmament talks".

KIM- Pwickly Norf! Plo-vock-tive moves! U-turn to spluttering dissing armor talks! That HILL-REE quacks me up looong time!!! She makes me ROR! (raugh out roud).

WANG- So... is she why we are here, Sir...moving missiles?

KIM- How they say in that Fwench mustard commercial for Grey Poop-On? Oh yeah...butt of course!

WANG- So Hillary has provoked you into this latest of actions, Sir?

KIM- You could say that, I'm guess. But even more than that...I'm wants to break her and the new US Addminniestration in right, looong time. You know...same-same Madame All-Bite.

WANG- Oh yes, like Madame Albright, your Greatness.

KIM- You on it rike vomit!

WANG- Very good. So why the Hawaiian shirt, Most Maniacal One?

KIM- Well, these here new mid-wange wockets can hit as far as Guam and I'm likes to dwess for the occasion.

WANG- I must say that you are quite the trend-setter, Sir.

KIM- Yes I'm am! Now be quiet so's I'm can listen to Bleach Boyz on my I-Plod!

So now we leave Great Reader KIM Jong IL of Norf Korea singing the Beach Boys hit song...

(remix by KIM , Jong Il *with a little help from JihadGene)

I'm gettin bugged listenin' to the Democrats/Placater's same old shit!
I gotta find some kind'a place where the U.N. aren't whimps!

I move my wockets around
Move around round round round... I'm move around
From bunker to bunker
Get around round round round... I'm move around
I'm a real hot head
Get around round round round... I'm get around
I'm makin real good bread (BAILOUT$)
Get around round round I'm get around
I get around
Get around round round oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo

OBAMA will take my crap cause he's stuck in defeat!
And weve never missed yet with the Albright's we meet!

I get around
Get around round round I get around
From town to town
Get around round round I get around
Im a real hot head
Get around round round I get around
I'm makin real good bread (BAILOUT$)
Get around round round I get around
I get around
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

All of my wockets are ready cause it wouldnt be right
To leave them idle at home on a saturday night!

Round round get around
I'm get around
Get around round round I get around
Get around round round I get around
Wah wa ooo
Get around round round I get around
Oooo ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo
Get around round round I get around
Ahh ooo ooo

Sunday, February 22, 2009

JihadGene's Infamous To Do List

Man, I got sooo much to do. Let me see. I'll make a list...that's right!


1. MONDAY-Clean up the mess (leaves/branches, large and small) from the eucalyptus trees in back yard. Fill truck & trailer with it and haul off to the dump/green waste recycling center.
*Task completed by my Korean bro in law. I drove us to the dump.

2. TUESDAY-Grade a 10'x7' area at south entrance to house and fill with 2/3rd's of a yard of crushed rock for drainage due to heavy rainfall.
*Task completed by my Korean bro in law. I drove and got the crushed rock.

3. WEDNESDAY-Replace some old light fixtures with newer ones at home.
*Task completed by my Korean bro in law. I drove him to Lowes and got the new fixtures.

4. THURSDAY- Install new wireless doorbell on main entrance to house.
*Task completed by my Korean bro in law. I drove him to Orchard Supply Hardware and got the new made in China "jingle bells" doorbell.

5. SUNDAY- Go to church then return home and Play Xbox360 Call of Duty, Modern Warfare with Son.
*Enemy killed by JihadGene & Son! Thou shalt have to kick-ass sometimes! My B-In-Law went to Fresno with my wife and his elder sister to buy some more stuff and help stimulate the economy.

Note to self-
Man...I'm gonna miss the hell out of my B-In-Law when he leaves for South Korea in about another week. Too bad I had a new roof put on the house last year. I could have saved mucho dinero! I just hope the exterior paint on the house holds out until he returns for another visit. My TO DO LIST for his next visit should include each-and-every day of the week for HIS maximum enjoyment! He's my Bro In Law! I'll do it for him! Am I a great brother in law or what?! Maybe I can talk him into getting a California drivers license and that way he can drive himself next time to get all the stuff he needs for priming and painting.....hmmmm. Would be nice. I'm a skunk and a sloth...I know that. Guess I should throw my hat in the ring and run for Congress. JG out.

Speaking of Fairies

My blog friend, the Witchy Woman her-own-bad-self, Maeve at Bartender Another Round has been writing of fairies to clean her house, do the dusting, etc., and she has even mentioned a grocery fairy. Me, you ask? I want me one of those Congressional Bailout Fairies. No... I ain't talking Barney Frank. Hell, maybe I am...for public use only, I mean. Not private. I'd best end this post before I dig myself deeper into some kind of a hole...I mean as in a hole in the ground, OK? I'm no switch-hitter. Sheez...I'm done.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Orchard Supply Hardware, Doorbells, and the Chinese

So...I went to Orchard (OSH) to pick up some stuff with my lovely wife's eldest brother KIM U Jin.
He can do and fix most anything. Me? I just like to sit on my ass and watch. Occasionally I will say "I'll do it tomorrow" with such passion and possible honesty that even my wife, who really knows better, will give me a 24 hour pass on stuff I need to get done. Anyway, with her Big Bro here in the land of the Buck Farack bailouts... I've got all kinds of crap to do and yes, it's getting done and done right. Big Bro let's me help him a little bit. Fine with me, I must say. Well... U Jin noticed our front doorbell wasn't working. Our home, built in 1957, is all done-up in Austin Powers era looking fixtures and stuff with an avacado-green bar, even! It's way kewl!!! The doorbell was a wireless set up made in maybe 1977 (Jimmy loser Carter era) and no matter what kinda batteries you put in it, the system goes dead in nothing flat. Like the stimulus plan, you can pour all kinds of money into it but that dead horse just ain't gonna win any races...if you catch my drift. So we go to Orchard Supply Hardware and I-spy a wireless doorbell unit for $29.99. Not too shabby. It's plastic, of course...but I figured it was gonna cost me more than that, so I buy it. Big Bro hooks it all up and I am his numba 1 assistant (he let me hand him a screwdriver, I think). He installs the C cell batteries (not included) and the grand moment arrives when he rings the doorbell should all be panting with great expectations, right about now. SO...U Jin now presses the doorbell and it CHIMES! The MADE IN CHINA doorbell does what?! IT CHIMES!!!
Yes it chimes alright.
My Korean brother-in-law laughed his ass off!
South Koreans get it.
The Chinese don't.
Communism sucks!
Yes, I'm keeping the door bell.
It cracks me the hell up! JG ;)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

KIM Jong IL's Birthday

On February 16th, 2009 it will be North Korean DickTator KIM Jong IL's 67th birthday. So I got him a card with this here picture on the front. Inside I wrote "Happy birthday you asshole". I've got a butt-load of these to send to Washington this week with the inscription "Thanks for the stimulus bill".

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Love American VS Korean Style #15

In the beginning...
In Part 1- I met the girl I would marry. Her name is Kim and RUV is in the air!!!
In Part 2- Spent all my money on a MASTER PLAN to set up a birthday party that would put me with Kim.
In Part 3- Stupid master plan FAILS!Kim gets puked on by drunk Birthday Boy. Kim leaves. I am miserable.
In Part 4- Korean Grandmothers (Shaman) take pity on me. We Kamikaze in a taxi to Kim's. Grandma's sitting on my lap crushing my huevos. I may never have children.
In Part 5- I survive the taxi ride. The Grandmothers tell me they will fix all. I must return to base. I can't beat the midnight curfew but I damn sure try.
In Part 6- Suicide ride on a bus bumper. Crash. Injuries and more. Concussion too! Police chase! Escape & Evade!
In Part 7- Climb a telephone pole. Steal a bike with one wheel. Make my Great Escape!
In Part 8- Ride bike into a Banjo-Ditch (sewage). Another concussion. I crawl out and am captured by the ROK Army, then returned to base.
In Part 9- Medical treatment at 0130 hours. Later that AM, a meeting with Military Police 1SG Black Thunder Johnson. Made an Ambassador to South Korea. Run to Motor Pool for a jeep.
In Part 10- Bicycle recovered. I fall into the banjo ditch. 1SG YOON/1SG Johnson/Me and the Korean Grandfather have a Pow-wow. Intercultural relations rebuilt! Valuable lessons learned.
In Part 11- The First Sergeants have a meeting. I am cleaned up at a ROK Army wash point. We go to Kim's. I am OBAMA, to the Korean OPRAH's (Grandmothers). I SEE KIM! We are returning to base.
In Part 12- I return to Camp with the First Sergeant's, jeep, and bicycle. My squad members, the house boys, and I/we all ponder MY fate. We break for chow (lunch). I opt for a nap and am awoken by my Squad leader SSG OLY. Intro to Staff Sergeant Oly (The Big "O") and the infamous Three Beeps! Time has come...I head for the orderly room.
In Part 13- I report to the orderly room. My fate is suspended until the next day when I must report back to the First Sergeant with my Squad Leader. I am re-directed to the unit supply room and meet Sergeant James Wheeler.
In Part#14- Learn about ambassadorship, love of life, Korean orphanages, and about giving from the US Army's Santa Claus, Sergeant Jimmy Wheeler.

It's 1100hours, a training day for the Military Police squad I belong to, and I am in now inside the First Sergeant's Office with my Squad Leader, Mr Gutlessworrywart from the STOOOPID STATE of MAINE...Staff Sergeant OLY. Now I have never been to Maine...but I met two people from there and both were total Dipwads! How the hell they won the battle at Little Round Top...with these state of Maine mutants, I'll never know! I guess all the in-breeding over the years took it's toll. Enough on the state of Maine where the state flower is called a white pine cone! Now who in the hell would have a stinkin' white pine cone for a state flower? That's almost as screwed up as having a Chickadee for a state bird. What can I say? Maine sucks moose milk. Now on to business...Where the Hell was I? Oh, I was sitting in U.S. Army First Sergeant B.T. (Black Thunder) Johnson's office where my fate had already been decided or was still being determined by the First Sergeant. I was an M.P., a Specialist 4th class (E-4), who really had his shit pretty-much together. I say pretty together because up until this point, when I first saw and instantly fell in love with KIM, I had it pretty much together... like I said, but love can make you do strange things. Strange things indeed...

Say like... spending all your money to set up a birthday party for someone you hardly know just to be with this KIM girl. Then take an "Incheon 500" ride in a tiny taxi with 11 Korean Grandma's (all of 'em Shaman/witches) with four of 'em sitting on your lap, grinding their butts into your nuttsack, face 'n elbows, and assorted other body parts, in a 3 cylindered Hyundai doing 110 MPH through bomb crater sized pot-holes and the banjo-ditch lined roads of Pusan, South Korea in the merry month of March in the Year of Somebody's Lord,1975. I know of such things as the love of wine, women, and song...or say the love of money...or chocolate, or beer-and-pizza, or the rotten Pittsburgh Steelers, but this was was a call of the wild. I was on fire inside. How do I put my feelings for the lovely Kim into words? Well, I'll try...

When I was a kid I would watch Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins. Some of you may remember that...some too young and tender and may not know of which I speak/habla. Anyhowze...that sucked up and gray-haired old fart, Marlin Perkins, would come on and say some weird stuff like..."As the 3 Legged Gazelle limps it's way home from the prairie filled with too could and should have some insurance on your funky butt". Now while I admit Marlin didn't sound quite exactly like that, you still get my drift..right? He's gotta make a living and has to pimp Mutual of Omaha life insurance. Well, in my love-sick case he would have said this... " Just like the Five-Peckered Mottled Muscled Musk Ox with a "stiffy" in search for his mate, JihadGene is in a seemingly never ending pain-filled search for more than just a date"!

So like I said... love makes one do strange things. It made me late in returning to my army camp before curfew. It made me hitch a ride on the back of a bus bumper, and get thrown off into the dirt. Love bloodied me. Gave me concussions. Made me a thief! It got me stitches! A stealer of one wheeled bicycles! A swimmer of banjo ditches! A climber of telephone poles! It was love that made me a fugitive who was running from the unjust justice of a Korean National Policeman's white colored nightstick! All this, only to be "lit up" by the spotlight of a R.O.K. Army tank! It was love that had me face ROK Army soldiers locked and loaded with M-16's pointed at my stupid grinning ass! I was bloodied! Bloodied by love! Damn it, I was battered by love...but just like some in the US Senate...I didn't give a rat's ass about anyone or anything else! I just wanted my reward and I wanted it NOW! I wanted Kim. I had to be with her come hell or high heels. Hell, I would have worn heels if I thought it would have helped my case with her! I told the First Sergeant this. My Squad Leader, SSG Oly, put his head in his big old bear-paw sized hands and looked sick. My 1SG broke out in a laugh. Cool, I thought.

Now I was thinkin' that maybe, just maybe, I would receive no punishment at all for this. Why...I got it going on! I thought. I even got a special assignment! That's what First Sergeant Johnson told me anyway. It included special stuff for this very special assignment. That's me, I thought. Special Stuff. Don't-ya-know my assignment was all very hush-hush, or so I was told. Even the orders, of which I was forbidden to see, allegedly came down from 8th Army HQ in Yongsan or was it through Battalion HQ up in Taegu?! Whatever. That was a long time ago and I forgot. Anyway... I was to report (again) to Sgt Jimmy Wheeler in the supply room, for my very special equipment and even some kind of special uniform, I was told. I would not be doing my usual duties as a Military Policeman and effective as of right then and there, I was reassigned to the Provost Marshall's Office. I am in "The Big Time".
Man, everything is coming up roses!
Happy Valentine's Day!!! JG ;)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Kim's Big Brother

My wife Kim's oldest brother is here. He is a wonderful guy. If you don't believe it just ask my West Highland White Terrier (Booger Butt) who is now all kinds of depressed-looking, now that he has just left for a few days to see an old friend in San Diego. U Jin flew into SF on Wednesday with his Elder Sister. We have them here so that's why my blogging pretty much stopped. They have my heart. Rightly so. Kim's brother is a great guy and a tough one as well. He loves to laugh and is the hardest working man I ever saw, next to my Dad, and my Father in law. U Jin grew up in post-war South Korea with nothing. It was hard times in that country...first ripped up by the Japanese in WWII, then by North Korea and China a few years later. Koreans are no strangers to hard times. They are no quitters either. They are warriors. I love sharing this story I only learned about my brother (in law only) U Jin, some 4 years ago. U Jin grew up near Osan, which was a big city in South Korea, back around 1958. He was all of age 13 in 1958 when he went to visit his Aunt's house in Suwon. Like in America, teams and schools had their rivalries. Suwon and Osan were like Texas VS Oklahoma. Lord only knows for how long. I guess it's still that way out there. Osan was more citified, or so the youngsters of Suwon claimed. It seemed that way to me when I first saw it in the 70's. The teens of Suwon considered themselves rough (which they were) and looked at themselves as country boys. Proud of it. They knew KIM U Jin's cousins and knew he was coming from the city of Osan to visit. The boys of Suwon were going to beat up my brother in law because of that rivalry. That was their justification. It was reason enough. Thuggery belongs to no one culture. KIM, U Jin was from the city. He was a city boy. They would beat him for it. There were 5 of them. Bigger. Older. They were proud of their toughness as country boys. They wanted to prove this. To them, city boys were pussies needing to be beaten. KIM, U Jin was and is... a mild person. He likes to laugh, but not at others. He is handsome and assertive, yet not cocky. That pretty well describes him. I guess he's always been that way. My wife says so. Where was I?
5 against 1... FIVE against ONE! They called out to him as he was in front of his Aunt's house playing with his cousins, "Hey! KIM, U JIN! You are a city boy! We will beat your ass to a pulp if you do not run home to Osan City right now"! U Jin said, "I am here visiting my family. I will return when our visit is finished". U Jin made no threat. He gave no insult. But he stood his ground. Two of the biggest attacked him. They fell to his punches and kicks. The other boys never attacked. When U Jin would go back to visit his Aunt in Suwon, the country boys would say "There is KIM U Jin. He is a city boy from Osan. Don't anger him".
My 13 year old son plays the asian game of "Go" with his Uncle U Jin. My son loves and respects him. So do I.

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

All these bail-outs! Is there any-ting in there for Great Reader of Norf Korea, KIM Jong IL?! I'm hopes so that Nancy Peloski in Washie-ton Dee She hooks me up wiff some mad-money...LOOONG time! I'm suspicious...therefore the song I'm pricked for all of you, my faithful followers of the reader, is Terry Stafford's "Suspicion"! Oh yeah, tomorrow is Ballantine's day so don't dwink and date! It's a Friday, so ret's dance!!!
Ruv you looong time,
Great Reader KIM Jong IL.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sunday Sick

It's Sunday and I'm sick with the poo poo flu. I would say more but I gotta go, again.

Friday, February 6, 2009

It's Friday! Let's Dance!

My Elder Sister Carol is healing up nicely and not so much in the chair anymore. She and her husband, Bill, have a really special love. I've seen the "love light" in their eyes since I was a kid. There really is a special look in their eyes. It reminds you that things are gonna be alright. That there is true love walking around on this planet. Guess I'm just gearing-up for Valentine's Day but I just wanted you to be aware of people in love. May it lift you up outta your chair and get you dancing! So let's dance to the great Solomon Burke doing "Turn on Your Love Light" because it's Friday! Let's dance!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009


1st off...I'm wants to thank LL over at Chromed Curses for this heads up!
In the newz is a Korean Grandmother (Harmonie)...age 68... who has taken the Korean driving test sum 771 times and flucking failed 771 times! She is studying for number 772 even as I'm keyboard this boo0shit! Now I'm knows why so many South Koreans, turned American, voted for Baalack WhoseNamed OBLAMA! She should do like JihadGene's wife did....test in Virginia Beach,Virginia when she was 22...looking like she was 16...and smiled a lot at the DMV grader, who was a retired and horney Navy SQUID!


As pwomised, here's the song 867-5309! I am Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, and yes it is me, KIM Jong IL, starring as "Duke Nukem"! I ruv women, urinals, and 12 gauge pump-action shotguns... looong time!!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Nancy Pelosi Sings for KIM Jong IL

Well, I hope you know this 1980's tune...if not, I will have a You Tube up on it later today.
Who RUV's you LOOONG time? Great Reader, of clourse!!! Now join in song with Madame Spleaker Nancy Pelosi singing the Tommy Tutone Hit called 867-5309!


Kimmy, Kimmy, who can I turn to?
You give me some rockets I can hold onto
I know you think I'm like the others before
Who saw your name and number on the wall

Kimmy, I got your number,
I need to make you mine.
Kimmy, don't change your number,
Pyongyang 7-5-3-0-9 (P.Y.7-5-3-0-9)
Pyongyang 7-5-3-0-9 (D.P.R.K. 3-0-9)

Kimmy, Kimmy, you're da bomb to me.
You don't know me but you make me so hornay!!! (looong time)
I tried to call you before but I lost my gavel.
I tried my imagination, but I was unraveled.

Kimmy, I got your number,
I need to make you mine.
Kimmy, don't change your number,
Pyongyang 7-5-3-0-9 (COMMIE 7-5-3-0-9)
Pyongyang 7-5-3-0-9 (SOCIALIST 5-3-0-9)

I got it, I got it, I got it!
I got your number on the wall!
I got it, I got it, I got it!
For a good time, for a good time crawl....

Jong IL, don't change your number.
I need to make you mine.
Great Reader, I'll call your number,
Bite Me 7-5-3-0-9 (Bailout 7-5-3-0-9)
Daschle 7-5-3-0-9 (Loser 7-5-3-0-9)

Kimmy, Kimmy who can I turn to? (Jo Mama 7-5-3-0-9)
For the price of a bailout I can always turn to you.
(OBAMA 7-5-3-0-9)
(Stimulate THIS 5-3-0-9)
(John McCAIN 5-3-0-9)
(Open Borders 5-3-0-9)
(Dumb Ass 7-5-3-0-9)

KIM JONG IL 7-5-3-0-9(//fade out//)
Great Reader 7-5-3-0-9
DickTater 7-5-3-0-9
Kimchee 7-5-3-0-9

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Ground Hog Day Missed

Deer Fwends of Great Reader, KIM Jong IL-

Mine friend (Joated) pointed out I had missed a wheelie important occasion in the Unifighted States...a holiday called Ground Dog's day. We, in Norf Korea, wishing for most things west (like food, reliable wockets, and 'specially a bailout) have begun barbecuing ground-hound in honor of this most auspicious of all Americran holidays! I got dibbs on the tail!

Great Reader

Dogs, Cows, 'n Congress

I wave at my dogs. Not in a menacing way. I mean like, just a greeting. Is that crazy? I mean, they almost always wag back. Now if I waved at cows all the time, well that's stooopid. That would be just as nuts as giving bailouts to businesses that have failed.

I'm Got Wockets!!!

In the spirit of current events and South Korean news of Great Reader of North Korea, KIM Jong IL's latest missile capabilities, here is a little something for you Americans to ponder or just hum along to...

I've Been Working on my Wockets
by Great Reader KIM Jong IL

(*sung to the tune of, "I've been working on the railroad")

I've been working on my wockets
All the live-wrong day.
I've been working on Taepodongs
Just to pass the time away.
Don't you hear the DEM's all blowing,
Bailout's so early in the morn;
Don't you hear Madame Speaker shouting,
"KIM, I'll blow your horn!"
OBAMA, won't you blow,
BIDEN, won't you blow,
PELOSI, won't you blow my ho-O-orn?
CODE PINK, won't you blow,
MURTHA, won't you blow,
Won't you all blow, my horn?
Someone's in D.C. despite BARRY
Someone's in D.C. I know-oh-O-oh
Someone's in D.C. with HILL-ER-RY
Blowin' on the old sax-oh! (saxophone, that is)